1st Year Cheer Dad Is This Normal?

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Official OWECheer said:
I'm seriously doubting his commitment to Youth Silver. *cries* LOL.

OP, don't think we're trying to be snarky; sarcasm is an old pastime on here.

ETA: And again my dumb behind forgets that summit happens around the same time as worlds... and skims the post so lightly that I don't notice "my daughter is on youth 2"

Boarding while sleep-deprived is not a good thing. At all. LOL. Taking a nap now.
Click to expand...
Youth Silver. #dead
 
Littlebear12 said:
No lol a nerd Electronics Engineer Industrial controls
Click to expand...
Waste water treatment plants? You used the the word effluent and I usually never never hear that outside of waste management which my father specialized in as a civil engineer.


**please raise your hand if you're related to Jocelyn**
 
Littlebear12 said:
No lol a nerd Electronics Engineer Industrial controls
Click to expand...

This makes more sense now.

Look, cheer is not a "plug and chug" formula game. It is not like football or soccer where a goal is a goal and a goal always equals X amount of points. Cheer is an objectively judged sport by other humans who aren't perfect.

There are a ton of aspects to cheer. And when separated, the different parts don't seem to make sense, or they don't appear to be important. For example, it sounds stupid to hear a coach yelling at a girl to squeeze her arms to her side when walking. But, if every girl walked with swinging arms, the routine would look like a mess. So, it sounds ridiculous to hear things like "no swimming" or "last minute practice needed." But, in the bigger picture, they make sense.

I think you need to take a step away from cheer, and just be a dad. It's good to be educated, but it can also be overwhelming. If your kid is happy, great. Leave it at that. If she is unhappy, assess whether it is cheer that is upsetting her or if it is another variable in her life. And then go from there. But until then, ask her what she wants to do and do that.
 
Cheer Dad said:
Waste water treatment plants? You used the the word effluent and I usually never never hear that outside of waste management which my father specialized in as a civil engineer.


**please raise your hand if you're related to Jocelyn**
Click to expand...
Yes I design SCADA systems for water and electric utilities.
 
Beans100 said:
This makes more sense now.

Look, cheer is not a "plug and chug" formula game. It is not like football or soccer where a goal is a goal and a goal always equals X amount of points. Cheer is an objectively judged sport by other humans who aren't perfect.

There are a ton of aspects to cheer. And when separated, the different parts don't seem to make sense, or they don't appear to be important. For example, it sounds stupid to hear a coach yelling at a girl to squeeze her arms to her side when walking. But, if every girl walked with swinging arms, the routine would look like a mess. So, it sounds ridiculous to hear things like "no swimming" or "last minute practice needed." But, in the bigger picture, they make sense.

I think you need to take a step away from cheer, and just be a dad. It's good to be educated, but it can also be overwhelming. If your kid is happy, great. Leave it at that. If she is unhappy, assess whether it is cheer that is upsetting her or if it is another variable in her life. And then go from there. But until then, ask her what she wants to do and do that.
Click to expand...

That is what I am trying to do.
I think cheer is like a hot dog. If you like it, it is best to not look to closely as to how its made. :)
 
Beans100 said:
This makes more sense now.

Look, cheer is not a "plug and chug" formula game. It is not like football or soccer where a goal is a goal and a goal always equals X amount of points. Cheer is an objectively judged sport by other humans who aren't perfect.

There are a ton of aspects to cheer. And when separated, the different parts don't seem to make sense, or they don't appear to be important. For example, it sounds stupid to hear a coach yelling at a girl to squeeze her arms to her side when walking. But, if every girl walked with swinging arms, the routine would look like a mess. So, it sounds ridiculous to hear things like "no swimming" or "last minute practice needed." But, in the bigger picture, they make sense.

I think you need to take a step away from cheer, and just be a dad. It's good to be educated, but it can also be overwhelming. If your kid is happy, great. Leave it at that. If she is unhappy, assess whether it is cheer that is upsetting her or if it is another variable in her life. And then go from there. But until then, ask her what she wants to do and do that.
Click to expand...

To be fair though, anyone stepping into the cheer realm would have these questions - not just engineers. Cheer is not your typical youth sport in terms of trying to understand it. An engineer and the person working at McDonald's would have an equally hard time understanding it at first.

Your post sounds very defensive towards him and I dont get why. He is "just being a dad." A lot of you previously made him sound like he was being a Suzie's Mom which I didn't get that at all. I think you guys took what he was saying about his daughter and their situation as bragging. He wasn't. In no way was he implying his daughter should be the star of the team, point jumper, dancer, flyer, etc. There's a difference. He was simply sharing what his daughter was doing in the gym and their background. Saying his "daughter is doing level 6 stunts" is not the same a saying his "daughter is doing level 6 stunts and so she should be on a worlds team and deserves a worlds ring because she is everything."

But everything he is saying and asking fits the bill of being "just a dad:. A dad whose fully interested in what his daughter is doing, a dad that's concerned for his family as well, especially after his wife was attacked by the owner. "Being a dad" can also include asking questions and trying to understand the sport his daughter is participating in. My dad did the same thing when i first started cheer, he did as much research as he could on it so he could understand it. I get no trying-to-coach-from-home vibe from his posts or spotting-his-daughter-in-the-back-yard vibe. He's just interested in the sport and wants to learn about it. He wants to see his daughter happy. He recognizes that being little may be an insecurity for her in school so he put her in an environment where being little can be a good thing. He IS "just being a dad". And a great one at that.

At the same time he's trying to figure out the sport, t seem like he is also trying to figure out if the things happening in his gym are normal. No swimming, curfew, hair/make up requirements, early meet times are normal. Attacking and accusing parents, being negative towards kids about their teams lack of success, threatening to pull kids from competing for minor things, making kids stand out in the freezing with barely any clothes are not normal. I see two sets of questions being asked at the same time.

You make it sound like he should step away from cheer and stop learning about it because "he's a dad and this is cheer and not football". I think he is doing the best thing he could possibly be doing. I admire his thirst for knowledge for his daughter. Some of you are really not putting the board's best foot forward. Again, he is new to the boards and new to cheer and he's learning. You were all new once and had the exact same questions as he did.
 
Eyes On The Prize said:
To be fair though, anyone stepping into the cheer realm would have these questions - not just engineers. Cheer is not your typical youth sport in terms of trying to understand it. An engineer and the person working at McDonald's would have an equally hard time understanding it at first.

Your post sounds very defensive towards him and I dont get why. He is "just being a dad." A lot of you previously made him sound like he was being a Suzie's Mom which I didn't get that at all. I think you guys took what he was saying about his daughter and their situation as bragging. He wasn't. In no way was he implying his daughter should be the star of the team, point jumper, dancer, flyer, etc. There's a difference. He was simply sharing what his daughter was doing in the gym and their background. Saying his "daughter is doing level 6 stunts" is not the same a saying his "daughter is doing level 6 stunts and so she should be on a worlds team and deserves a worlds ring because she is everything."

But everything he is saying and asking fits the bill of being "just a dad:. A dad whose fully interested in what his daughter is doing, a dad that's concerned for his family as well, especially after his wife was attacked by the owner. "Being a dad" can also include asking questions and trying to understand the sport his daughter is participating in. My dad did the same thing when i first started cheer, he did as much research as he could on it so he could understand it. I get no trying-to-coach-from-home vibe from his posts or spotting-his-daughter-in-the-back-yard vibe. He's just interested in the sport and wants to learn about it. He wants to see his daughter happy. He recognizes that being little may be an insecurity for her in school so he put her in an environment where being little can be a good thing. He IS "just being a dad". And a great one at that.

At the same time he's trying to figure out the sport, t seem like he is also trying to figure out if the things happening in his gym are normal. No swimming, curfew, hair/make up requirements, early meet times are normal. Attacking and accusing parents, being negative towards kids about their teams lack of success, threatening to pull kids from competing for minor things, making kids stand out in the freezing with barely any clothes are not normal. I see two sets of questions being asked at the same time.

You make it sound like he should step away from cheer and stop learning about it because "he's a dad and this is cheer and not football". I think he is doing the best thing he could possibly be doing. I admire his thirst for knowledge for his daughter. Some of you are really not putting the board's best foot forward. Again, he is new to the boards and new to cheer and he's learning. You were all new once and had the exact same questions as he did.
Click to expand...

Thank you :)
My daughter is defiantly not wonder girl. We are considering asking to move to the youth 1 team just to be with a different coach. We just want her to be happy. I am trying to avoid learning about cheer though the school of hard knocks. The less mistakes I make the easier it will be for my CP. I hope anyway. To be clear my daughter feels the sting of being small and complains about it often, but less so now that she is in cheer. I understand her, as I too was the smallest boy in class for years. I am acutely aware of the disadvantage men suffer being short. On the up side I am average height in Japan. :). I talked with one of the moms tonight (her daughter was in tears again). It seem 6 moms went to the owner with there concerns about the coach yesterday. 7 of 19 cheer parents unhappy look to be more than an anomaly. I brought my CP to practice in spite of the strep and doctors note. I showed the note to the coach she asked if she was on antibiotics. I said yes. She said my CP was good to practice. Sad that my wife is so fearful of reprisal that she had me take CP to practice when she would not let her go to school.
 
Eyes On The Prize said:
To be fair though, anyone stepping into the cheer realm would have these questions - not just engineers. Cheer is not your typical youth sport in terms of trying to understand it. An engineer and the person working at McDonald's would have an equally hard time understanding it at first.

Your post sounds very defensive towards him and I dont get why. He is "just being a dad." A lot of you previously made him sound like he was being a Suzie's Mom which I didn't get that at all. I think you guys took what he was saying about his daughter and their situation as bragging. He wasn't. In no way was he implying his daughter should be the star of the team, point jumper, dancer, flyer, etc. There's a difference. He was simply sharing what his daughter was doing in the gym and their background. Saying his "daughter is doing level 6 stunts" is not the same a saying his "daughter is doing level 6 stunts and so she should be on a worlds team and deserves a worlds ring because she is everything."

But everything he is saying and asking fits the bill of being "just a dad:. A dad whose fully interested in what his daughter is doing, a dad that's concerned for his family as well, especially after his wife was attacked by the owner. "Being a dad" can also include asking questions and trying to understand the sport his daughter is participating in. My dad did the same thing when i first started cheer, he did as much research as he could on it so he could understand it. I get no trying-to-coach-from-home vibe from his posts or spotting-his-daughter-in-the-back-yard vibe. He's just interested in the sport and wants to learn about it. He wants to see his daughter happy. He recognizes that being little may be an insecurity for her in school so he put her in an environment where being little can be a good thing. He IS "just being a dad". And a great one at that.

At the same time he's trying to figure out the sport, t seem like he is also trying to figure out if the things happening in his gym are normal. No swimming, curfew, hair/make up requirements, early meet times are normal. Attacking and accusing parents, being negative towards kids about their teams lack of success, threatening to pull kids from competing for minor things, making kids stand out in the freezing with barely any clothes are not normal. I see two sets of questions being asked at the same time.

You make it sound like he should step away from cheer and stop learning about it because "he's a dad and this is cheer and not football". I think he is doing the best thing he could possibly be doing. I admire his thirst for knowledge for his daughter. Some of you are really not putting the board's best foot forward. Again, he is new to the boards and new to cheer and he's learning. You were all new once and had the exact same questions as he did.
Click to expand...
Littlebear12 said:
Thank you :)
My daughter is defiantly not wonder girl. We are considering asking to move to the youth 1 team just to be with a different coach. We just want her to be happy. I am trying to avoid learning about cheer though the school of hard knocks. The less mistakes I make the easier it will be for my CP. I hope anyway. To be clear my daughter feels the sting of being small and complains about it often, but less so now that she is in cheer. I understand her, as I too was the smallest boy in class for years. I am acutely aware of the disadvantage men suffer being short. On the up side I am average height in Japan. :). I talked with one of the moms tonight (her daughter was in tears again). It seem 6 moms went to the owner with there concerns about the coach yesterday. 7 of 19 cheer parents unhappy look to be more than an anomaly. I brought my CP to practice in spite of the strep and doctors note. I showed the note to the coach she asked if she was on antibiotics. I said yes. She said my CP was good to practice. Sad that my wife is so fearful of reprisal that she had me take CP to practice when she would not let her go to school.
Click to expand...

Sorry to both if I sounded defensive. It was not the intention.

I'm all for being educated about cheer, but I also think that cheer is a lot to learn about and sometimes its better to hang out for a couple years and getting a feel for the sport. And then, once you have a pretty good idea of it, it's easier to pick up the "ins and outs" of it.

However, it sounds as though you are having major issues with the coach. Is the owner aware of this? Is the coach strict or is she mean? Is she unexperienced? If you don't feel comfortable leaving your child with this coach you should definitely reconsider the gym or at least talk to the owner and express your concerns.
 
mybabywantstotumble said:
@Littlebear12 welcome to fierceboard!

you will find a lot of useful and not so useful information here. i joined when my daughter started cheer and have learned a lot. she is now 12, on season 5 at gym #2 so i have a little experience under me.

as other posters mentioned, routine changes are necessary and will happen all season long. it's a good thing - they are listening to the judges and their comments on the routine and adjusting to hit the score sheet. it sounds like when your team won 1st at the first few comps they may have been smaller local comps and when they went to larger comps with more competition the routine wasn't competitive.

early meet times suck, there is no way around it. as your daughter (CP as we call them) advances in her cheer career meet times should get later. one day you will look back and complain about competing at 8 or 9pm. Hair and makeup are part of the game, everyone should look uniform. each gym makes their own decision as to hair and makeup styles. my gym is into heavy makeup and big hair, other gyms are light makeup and straight hair. if the hair and makeup bother you that much you might want to look into other local gyms and what they do and switch next season. i can tell you though that i would not select a gym based on hair or makeup - it would be for gym environment & technique.

We are not allowed to swim at our gym. As other posters mentioned swimming tires out the athletes and the coaches want them rested and ready to compete. I would suggest tacking on an extra night or two in a city you are traveling too if you want to make it a mini vacation. Competition weekends are fun but are exhausting.

If you have any questions that you aren't comfortable with posting just PM any of us parents and we can help you out.
Click to expand...
Well said!
 
First, welcome to the Fierce Board! The regulars on here can offer an AMAZING amount of information, suggestions, and a little entertainment too! It's been so long since our first season (13 years :eek:) that it is hard to remember when the exact same things you are asking about just became "part of the sport". I apologize in advance if we seem a little harsh or judgmental. Pretty much all of the things your coach is asking is pretty spot on..EXCEPT FOR THE REMOVING OF WARMUPS OUTSIDE IN FREEZING WEATHER! That's ridiculous and I wouldn't require my 17 year old to do that..and our coaches wouldn't either. Also, another good reason to not swim in hotel pools is that germs are rampant in a pool...especially strep, colds, and the dreaded stomach flu! It may not hit your CP that day, but it could later in the week impacting practices or the next weekend's comp. You are not a bad parent for putting your CP into all of those classes. You were trying to help her feel comfortable and assimilate to a new sport. We have ALL made those mistakes. As others have stated...1 hour each of tumbling, stunting, jumps, is MORE than enough. I will say that we really only ever took was tumbling once or twice a week. Again, as others have stated, if you encounter moms who are ring leaders regarding placements, scores, coaching issues, etc.....RUN!!!!! These are known here as "Susie's Moms". They are to be avoided and ignored at all costs. You may think they care about your/your CP but THEY DONT! Trust us, THEY HAVE NO FRIENDS, except for the owners/coaches who can help their "Susie's" , be point flyer/dancer, obtain thousands of Instagram followers, and of course GET THAT FULL PAID SCHOLARSHIP TO COLLEGE. Please feel free questions, we LOVE offering what info we have because we love the sport (and it is a sport LOL) and want to offer support whenever we can! :)
 
Eyes On The Prize said:
To be fair though, anyone stepping into the cheer realm would have these questions - not just engineers. Cheer is not your typical youth sport in terms of trying to understand it. An engineer and the person working at McDonald's would have an equally hard time understanding it at first.

Your post sounds very defensive towards him and I dont get why. He is "just being a dad." A lot of you previously made him sound like he was being a Suzie's Mom which I didn't get that at all. I think you guys took what he was saying about his daughter and their situation as bragging. He wasn't. In no way was he implying his daughter should be the star of the team, point jumper, dancer, flyer, etc. There's a difference. He was simply sharing what his daughter was doing in the gym and their background. Saying his "daughter is doing level 6 stunts" is not the same a saying his "daughter is doing level 6 stunts and so she should be on a worlds team and deserves a worlds ring because she is everything."

But everything he is saying and asking fits the bill of being "just a dad:. A dad whose fully interested in what his daughter is doing, a dad that's concerned for his family as well, especially after his wife was attacked by the owner. "Being a dad" can also include asking questions and trying to understand the sport his daughter is participating in. My dad did the same thing when i first started cheer, he did as much research as he could on it so he could understand it. I get no trying-to-coach-from-home vibe from his posts or spotting-his-daughter-in-the-back-yard vibe. He's just interested in the sport and wants to learn about it. He wants to see his daughter happy. He recognizes that being little may be an insecurity for her in school so he put her in an environment where being little can be a good thing. He IS "just being a dad". And a great one at that.

At the same time he's trying to figure out the sport, t seem like he is also trying to figure out if the things happening in his gym are normal. No swimming, curfew, hair/make up requirements, early meet times are normal. Attacking and accusing parents, being negative towards kids about their teams lack of success, threatening to pull kids from competing for minor things, making kids stand out in the freezing with barely any clothes are not normal. I see two sets of questions being asked at the same time.

You make it sound like he should step away from cheer and stop learning about it because "he's a dad and this is cheer and not football". I think he is doing the best thing he could possibly be doing. I admire his thirst for knowledge for his daughter. Some of you are really not putting the board's best foot forward. Again, he is new to the boards and new to cheer and he's learning. You were all new once and had the exact same questions as he did.
Click to expand...

He got some very caring and thoughtful replies in the beginning. I think the tide turned a little when he said that they might not finish the year and not go to Orlando.


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