All-Star Sex Offender Arrested At Cheer Comp

oncecoolcoachnowmom said:

Also, I'm sorry if you've ever let your kid take these kinds of pics but:

Billy Bob shouldn't be allowed to be all up on your kid in your presence in open gym or practice pics etc. holding her on his hip, giving her kisses/hugs and taking pics with captions like "Ugh my little fierceling baby is so beautiful."

I see it rather often and I'm surprised parents don't have more boundaries with their kids.

None of my son's coaches are okay to pick up and hug all over my kid and call him a "hot stud."

Coaches need to know their boundaries.

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What. The... People let their coaches kiss and hug their kids? Or let their kids kiss and hug their coaches? The only time CP has ever hugged one of her coaches in the last two years was the couple times she did so in a moment of glory when she nailed an elusive skill. That isn't including the "group hugs" her coach would sometimes give when the team did really well.

With the exception of grandma, grandpa, myself, my husband, and her nanny, no adult is ever allowed to be alone with my child. Ever. Outside of the gym, we are personal friends with a couple of coaches. One of the coaches and my DH are close. We have spent holidays together, dogsat for each other, helped each other out on home projects, etc. He didn't coach CP's team, but he did open up the gym a few times for her when it was closed to give her tumbling lessons. DH and I both trust him, but neither of us would ever let CP be in the gym alone with him. Even he (the coach) asked us to make sure someone was staying at the gym with CP if there weren't any other lessons/practices/classes going on. If I dropped CP off at the gym and later found out that she and the coach were the only ones there, I would seriously question the motives of that coach.

ErinS said:

The reason why so many people don't come forward about rape and sexual assault is because of people thinking there needs to be a "reason". And explanation for why it happened. Some to blame...other than the fact that the predator is simply a predator.


To me, asking for a backstory is akin to saying "that 14 yr old tramp lead him on" or "how did that 14 yr old hussy seduce him"

I'm sure that's not what you're "saying" but it's essentially what you're asking


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YES YES YES!

Also in America do you not need any type of background check to work with children/a place with children? We have a DBS/CRB check for anyone who works with children/elderly/disabled.

randomactsofcheer said:

What. The... People let their coaches kiss and hug their kids? Or let their kids kiss and hug their coaches? The only time CP has ever hugged one of her coaches in the last two years was the couple times she did so in a moment of glory when she nailed an elusive skill. That isn't including the "group hugs" her coach would sometimes give when the team did really well.

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This exactly! There's a coach I've seen pictures of giving girls piggy back rides and hugs and I'm totally not comfortable with him at all!

Beans100 said:

Sorry, that's not what I was alluding to.

I'll clarify my question with this- I was repeatedly sexually abused starting at around the age of 4. I had a neighbor who didn't know how to keep his parts to himself and had no problem telling me where to stick my hands. We moved when I was 10, so the abuse ended without anyone knowing a thing.

By back story, I mean, what motivates people to do this. Perhaps I am just curious because I hope it would bring me some answers in regards to my own history. Or maybe I just have a screwed up mind.

I didn't mean that it was the girl's fault. I was wondering what made him make this decision.

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What motivates adults to abuse children? Likely power, control, and/or anger. Based on your revelation and questions, sounds like you could benefit from professional counseling.

Beans100 said:

Sorry, that's not what I was alluding to.

I'll clarify my question with this- I was repeatedly sexually abused starting at around the age of 4. I had a neighbor who didn't know how to keep his parts to himself and had no problem telling me where to stick my hands. We moved when I was 10, so the abuse ended without anyone knowing a thing.

By back story, I mean, what motivates people to do this. Perhaps I am just curious because I hope it would bring me some answers in regards to my own history. Or maybe I just have a screwed up mind.

I didn't mean that it was the girl's fault. I was wondering what made him make this decision.

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There are lots and lots and lots of published theories, but honestly, no one solid answer---what motivates someone to do what they do is often out of vicinity or preference. For some it boils down to a 'type' while others it boils down to who is available, but you'll by no means find the answers your seeking in a case so different from yours. Even just within the realm of sick individuals the difference in reasons between a predator, offender and rapist is huge. Not to mention, even with a 'why' the hole left there remains open because no normal person can relate to the same thoughts expressed by those who do these acts.

I'm really sorry for what you experienced, feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk---when I say I've been in those shoes, I'm being pretty literal but that is about as much as I'm willing to share publicly.

randomactsofcheer said:

What. The... People let their coaches kiss and hug their kids? Or let their kids kiss and hug their coaches? The only time CP has ever hugged one of her coaches in the last two years was the couple times she did so in a moment of glory when she nailed an elusive skill. That isn't including the "group hugs" her coach would sometimes give when the team did really well.

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Hugging doesn't send up alarm bells for me, tbh. Kissing, on the other hand---that would be a major red flag.

randomactsofcheer said:

What. The... People let their coaches kiss and hug their kids? Or let their kids kiss and hug their coaches? The only time CP has ever hugged one of her coaches in the last two years was the couple times she did so in a moment of glory when she nailed an elusive skill. That isn't including the "group hugs" her coach would sometimes give when the team did really well.

With the exception of grandma, grandpa, myself, my husband, and her nanny, no adult is ever allowed to be alone with my child. Ever. Outside of the gym, we are personal friends with a couple of coaches. One of the coaches and my DH are close. We have spent holidays together, dogsat for each other, helped each other out on home projects, etc. He didn't coach CP's team, but he did open up the gym a few times for her when it was closed to give her tumbling lessons. DH and I both trust him, but neither of us would ever let CP be in the gym alone with him. Even he (the coach) asked us to make sure someone was staying at the gym with CP if there weren't any other lessons/practices/classes going on. If I dropped CP off at the gym and later found out that she and the coach were the only ones there, I would seriously question the motives of that coach.

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My son came to us via foster care and has had some past experiences re: abuse so we are very very particular about boundaries/touching/hugs.

No hugs/piggyback rides/kisses from anyone except us/immediate fam that we see all the time.

He is also free to tell adults that he doesn't want a hug. It's no big deal. He just high fives.

oncecoolcoachnowmom said:

My son came to us via foster care and has had some past experiences re: abuse so we are very very particular about boundaries/touching/hugs.

No hugs/piggyback rides/kisses from anyone except us/immediate fam that we see all the time.

He is also free to tell adults that he doesn't want a hug. It's no big deal. He just high fives.

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I work with kids from small to teens most with special needs. Some want to hug me like the 4-7 year olds but I always gently push them away and offer a high five instead because I feel that is appropriate contact and most of the kids like to be given a high five when they have done a good job

randomactsofcheer said:

If I dropped CP off at the gym and later found out that she and the coach were the only ones there, I would seriously question the motives of that coach.

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As you should.

We really should never be alone with kids if we can help it.

I work in guidance and while my door is shut if we're talking about something sensitive/confidential, my office door has a window so anyone can see in.

No kid should be taking privates alone.

Or having private conversations in the gym office with just Billy Bob without a parent.

Or going to away comps and staying in Billy Bob/Chelsea Coaches' room.

Or STAYING WITH BILLY BOB because she moved to cheer there and he is hosting her.

You get the idea.

Helen uk uni cheer said:

I work with kids from small to teens most with special needs. Some want to hug me like the 4-7 year olds but I always gently push them away and offer a high five instead because I feel that is appropriate contact and most of the kids like to be given a high five when they have done a good job

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I work with special needs kids as well, ages 5-11. A lot of them will ask "can I have a squeeze?" And if they ask appropriately, I'll give them a quick squeeze. Sometimes I'll give a high five instead of a hug. Some kids just need a hug to help them calm down. On that note, I would never do that if there wasn't another teacher in the room though.

Unfortunately all star cheer sets up the perfect storm for this crap to happen. You have a sport that has set it up for parents to be more lax in regards to coaches. Whoever said that about moms being flattered and showing up with Starbucks? I can point to about 20 youth age IG accounts "run by mom" where the kid is pimping everything from bows to hairspray...those are the kids in danger. Or the ones where mom is trying to fill that dad space with Mr Coach. "Oh Susie just loves Billy Bob! He's like a dad to her!" Just no...

SL&AM said:

There are lots and lots and lots of published theories, but honestly, no one solid answer---what motivates someone to do what they do is often out of vicinity or preference. For some it boils down to a 'type' while others it boils down to who is available, but you'll by no means find the answers your seeking in a case so different from yours. Even just within the realm of sick individuals the difference in reasons between a predator, offender and rapist is huge. Not to mention, even with a 'why' the hole left there remains open because no normal person can relate to the same thoughts expressed by those who do these acts.
.

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I'm pretty uncomfortable with calling it preference. Though I suppose in some ways, it boils down to a preference for exploitation. But sexual offenders of almost all types, be they predators, rapists or offenders are more often interested in, or aroused by a power dynamic more than simply having a preference for a body type, etc. The unfortunate truth is that a large number come from a background where they themselves experienced abuse as well, and all sorts of traumatic events have the ability to cross wires in our brains.

My heart does go out to you both though.

How did he get jobs after getting arrested in 2011? Did gyms not do thorough background checks on him? Just wondering.

Really, hugs are off limits? What's next, no physical contact at all? I coached a Junior team last year, and all of my athletes hugged me after performances and after getting new skills and I don't think it's weird at all.

I know this is a serious thread, but y'all need Jesus.

@ErinS, correct a lot of rapes go unreported. A friends daughter was raped by 2 men while interning last year. 2 professional dressed men. She didn't immediately report the rape because of threats the guys made. Her friends convinced her to report it a few days later.

Adding to the blame the victim culture in America, Her roommate at the time convinced the housing authority to evict our friends daughter because she was basically acting as a prostitute because she had sex with 2 strangers. [emoji15]

@cheeryjust yes gyms need to do background checks but I'm guessing as a contract or traveling employee no background check is required.


**Slip n Slide. Official sponsor of Worlds 2016**

I've seen a documentary about sexual offends on college campuses and how the victims were getting little to no support when reporting it to the college authorities or campus police [emoji15]
I was shocked.

So, about this tumbling coach/athlete... my brain could play me jokes but i somehow remember him visiting germany to work with some teams and maybe even compete with one. I could be totally wrong because i could not find any video proof, but it has been somewhere between 2004 and 2009 in my memories, so maybe the videos i think about were taken down or it is someone completely different.

That he contacted minors over social media should us parents just remind how important social monitoring is. It's not stalking or not trusting our kids, it's not trusting the others. I guess a lot of 14year old cheerleaders would feel over the top if a well-known cheerleader would contact them on intagram or snapchat and compliment about tumbling, stunting or flexibility and would not think anything bad being asked for pictures of "your beautiful stretch" or anything like this.

Could also be a fake account...so many bad, mentally ill people out there.