All-Star Questioning A Coach's Decisions?

[_MRB]

Is it ever okay to question a coach's decision/ judgment? I ask this question because I have caught coaches, (even my own) in the wrong before but wasn't sure if it was my place to say something to them. Some people say a coach is always right, some also say that coaches are coaches for a reason. I feel as though not everyone is right all of the time, and even coaches slip up, but not everyone catches a coach's slip up to confront/present it to them.

 

[Official OWECheer]

Is it ever okay to question a coach's decision/ judgment? I ask this question because I have caught coaches, (even my own) in the wrong before but wasn't sure if it was my place to say something to them. Some people say a coach is always right, some also say that coaches are coaches for a reason. I feel as though not everyone is right all of the time, and even coaches slip up, but not everyone catches a coach's slip up to confront/present it to them.

I have no experience with this on either side, but I do think that the time and manner at and in which you approach the coach is crucial in how your concern will be interpreted. Plus l, some coaches are hard-headed and don't like being called out by a parent, even if it is done in a respectful and non-threatening manner.

 

[Charolais]

Is it ever okay to question a coach's decision/ judgment? I ask this question because I have caught coaches, (even my own) in the wrong before but wasn't sure if it was my place to say something to them. Some people say a coach is always right, some also say that coaches are coaches for a reason. I feel as though not everyone is right all of the time, and even coaches slip up, but not everyone catches a coach's slip up to confront/present it to them.

Of course you may question a coach's decision/judgment if done privately and with respect. We’re all human and reasonable people sometimes say, and do things, that they otherwise wouldn’t. Coaches and athletes must be able to say, “I made a mistake”; and accept the consequences.

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

Short answer: Yes.

I'm assuming we're talking about something like rationales for a placement and not something that is life/safety-threatening?

I'm not saying I will actually CHANGE something based on a parent's questioning, but I do not mind you asking WHY I chose to do something a certain way.

However, I will not respond to anything that is just you trying to get your way and be rude about it.

GOING TO GET AN ANSWER:

"Hey, I was wondering if you could talk to me about why my kid wasn't chosen for Varsity since she had a working tuck. I was trying to figure out why she scored so low."

"I saw that the girls are doing home camp this year. The JV team went away last year. Why can't they go away for camp?"

NOT GOING TO GET AN ANSWER:

"I'M SORRY BUT YOU NEED TO TELL ME WHY MY KID DID NOT MAKE VARSITY. I HEARD THERE WERE OTHER GIRLS WHO HAD TUCKS NOT AS GOOD AS HERS. IT MAKES NO SENSE AND I WOLUD LIKE SOME ANSWERS BEFORE I GO TO THE SCHOOL BOARD."

"I just talked to two other former JV parents and they're very upset that the girls will not be going away to camp this year. We feel like away camp is a must do activity for Varsity cheerleaders and we want to talk about away camp options with you and the AD."

The latter person is not asking me anything. She is just threatening me and telling me what to do. The person emailing about camp is not really being threatening, but is not really asking me anything. She is just telling me that she doesn't like something and trying to get me to change it (and going over my head by talking to my AD.) I do not go to someone's place of employment and tell them what decisions to make. So I do not answer that.

 

[NJ Coach]

Agreed with above. Time and place matter as well. Being confronted is a completely different scenario than being asked. If you question something, either email it or ask for a meeting...never out in front of a lobby full of people and not accusatory.

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

Agreed with above. Time and place matter as well. Being confronted is a completely different scenario than being asked. If you question something, either email it or ask for a meeting...never out in front of a lobby full of people and not accusatory.

Nothing makes me less likely to answer you like:

*walks up to me as I'm leaving practice*

"HEY. I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE PICTURE LOCATION. CAN IT BE A LITTLE CLOSER TO _____?"

Ma'am. It's 7:30. I'm starving. I need to get to my family. Do you really really think I'm going to drop everything and debate team picture locations RIGHT NOW?

 

[NJ Coach]

Nothing makes me less likely to answer you like:

*walks up to me as I'm leaving practice*

"HEY. I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE PICTURE LOCATION. CAN IT BE A LITTLE CLOSER TO _____?"

Ma'am. It's 7:30. I'm starving. I need to get to my family. Do you really really think I'm going to drop everything and debate team picture locations RIGHT NOW?

And don't call, text or email late at night and expect an immediate answer. Once I walk out of the gym at 9 pm, I'm done until the next day, barring any emergencies.

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

YES!

You are not going to get an answer if you call at 10pm on a school night.

You can keep calling but you're going to voicemail.

No, I'm not more likely to answer you if you keep calling or leave multiple voicemails.

Actually, if you keep calling, I'm going to assume you're mad and I'm going to deliberately wait 48 hours to answer.

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

And don't call, text or email late at night and expect an immediate answer. Once I walk out of the gym at 9 pm, I'm done until the next day, barring any emergencies.

See also:

Do not continue to text or email if I did not answer your first one. I saw it.

Send me one email. One.

This is not necessary:

7:15 pm - "Hey, I was just wondering why it is that Katie is benched for being late to practice this week? She had a make up trial for her Sweet 16."

7:45 pm - "Mrs. ______, I am just following up to see why Katie was benched. Please give me a call or respond."

8:30 pm - "Good evening, again I'm just concerned why Katie was benched. She is a very dedicated athlete who is normally always on time. This 16 party was very special to her and I do not think she should have been benched. Please touch base with me ASAP."

I promise you I read the first one.

 

[cheermomforever]

Email to set up a time frame to sit down with them. Listen to them as you would like them to listen to you. Any good coach should have an open door policy for parents to discuss stuff about their child, but of course not gossip, talking about other kids or anything else that not right.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

Last one: Do not expect them to meet alone.

Some gyms have another coach or the owner sit in on meetings so that a third party is aware of what was said. (With school cheer, it's policy.)

That way, no can go back and say "This coach threatened me!" Or "The parent said she was pulling her kid tomorrow."

 

[Beans100]

Here, fill in the blanks

Hello ____ ,

I was wondering if we could set up a time to meet to talk about A, B, and C. I would like some clarification regarding ____. Please let me know what will work best with your schedule. Thanks.

_____

 

[_MRB]

Thanks guys, so much!
But I wasn't really talking much on a "placement thing" (for the fact that I can care less where I get placed, I just want to cheer)
But more so on any other level.
I've questioned coaches even in a professional manner and still had gotten yelled at for "questioning coaches /blasé blasé" it was a safety /legal skill set thing, and about an athlete who didn't feel comfortable competing a certain skill (I was an assistant coach at that time)
Some people HATE being "tried" or "questioned" and I feel as though if that's you, then coaching shouldn't be your choice of hobby/career because it WILL happen.

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

You should never feel afraid to question something you know is a safety issue.

 

[Helen uk uni cheer]

Last year I questioned my coach a lot as a lot of thing were not legal. She didn't like it so I kept my mouth shut then the team got annoyed with me for not saying something when we got legalities.