Daughter At Risk Of Being Kicked Off Team

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Dec 28, 2016
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So my daughter crosses from one team to another. It has been a struggle all year but last month the team she crosses on got a Summit Bid. Well now the coaches are telling me she's not doing what she needs to do at practice and is at risk for being kicked off the team. What do I do here?? My heart is breaking for her especially after the joy of winning that bid.


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Sorry, as a Mom my heart hurts for you. The worst thing is seeing our kids hurt and not being able to make it better. I wish I had words of wisdom. If they gave her things to work on, then she can work hard to improve and meet their expectations. If their minds are made up, just keep being there for, supporting, and loving your CP.
 
If your daughter's Summit bid team is a higher level than her main team, I would consider her to be "crossing up," which in my mind is a privilege contingent on skills being gained or kept. Has she stopped throwing or executing the higher level skills needed for that team? Did her coaches warn you that she would be removed if she didn't maintain or gain skills?

To truly understand how you can help your CP, you need to sit down (calmly and respectfully) with the coaches and figure out what they're asking for. What does she need to do to remain on the Summit team? You can form a plan from there. Just be sure your daughter WANTS to be on that team, and that the pressure of constant threats isn't too much for her.

Good luck!
 
First sit down with your daughter and coaches to find out what's going on, then ask your daughter does she really enjoy the team or feel pressure and /or struggles. Maybe u r not getting the full perspective of things?
Good luck!

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Behavior. Not being tight and clean at practice.


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That may or may not be behavior. It is a level up or down from her other team? If the routine is too hard for her and she is barely hanging on through it, she may not be ABLE to be tight and clean. I think you need to sit down with everyone involved send get some clarity on exactly what the expectation is and how your cp feels about the team. Is she stressed and overwhelmed? Annoyed with younger kids or a lower level and not putting in 100%? Or just not where the coaches need her to be skill wise?


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That may or may not be behavior. It is a level up or down from her other team? If the routine is too hard for her and she is barely hanging on through it, she may not be ABLE to be tight and clean. I think you need to sit down with everyone involved send get some clarity on exactly what the expectation is and how your cp feels about the team. Is she stressed and overwhelmed? Annoyed with younger kids or a lower level and not putting in 100%? Or just not where the coaches need her to be skill wise?


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She's 10. Her home team is a J2 and she is crossing to S1 which is the team she's struggling with. She was supposed to fly but isn't. I'm not real sure where the issues stand but I think their expectations and her's don't match. She wants to stay on the team and loves it but it has been a struggle all season long.


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She's 10. Her home team is a J2 and she is crossing to S1 which is the team she's struggling with. She was supposed to fly but isn't. I'm not real sure where the issues stand but I think their expectations and her's don't match. She wants to stay on the team and loves it but it has been a struggle all season long.


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You need to sit down with the coaches and find out exactly where the mismatch is occurring. Where is the struggle occurring on a level 1 team that is not also happening on her level 2 team?

Also -
Is she the only 10 year old on the team?
Are the practices held too late for her (and does she have back to back practices or is she in the gym every day of the week)?
If she is not flying, is she strong enough to base significantly older girls or does she mainly nugget?
 
I agree with ^^ to be 10 on a Sr team is sometimes hard to be the youngest. Is she upset she's not flying and as said above if not flying is basing too hard with older team?


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You need to sit down with the coaches and find out exactly where the mismatch is occurring. Where is the struggle occurring on a level 1 team that is not also happening on her level 2 team?

Also -
Is she the only 10 year old on the team?
Are the practices held too late for her (and does she have back to back practices or is she in the gym every day of the week)?
If she is not flying, is she strong enough to base significantly older girls or does she mainly nugget?

She is the youngest on the team. She's also at the gym 6 days a week and most nights until 9pm. This is a lot for her but she wants it so bad. She's mainly a nugget. It's probably best to let it go but she wants to stay on the team so bad plus it will break her heart to lose Summit. Plus she's bonded with the team.


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IMO (not that you asked) that is way too much for a child, especially one so young. It sounds like it might be time for a tough life lesson--just because you want something doesn't mean that you get it right now. As a parent, do you really want to pay hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars for your child to do next to nothing in the routine?
 
She is the youngest on the team. She's also at the gym 6 days a week and most nights until 9pm. This is a lot for her but she wants it so bad. She's mainly a nugget. It's probably best to let it go but she wants to stay on the team so bad plus it will break her heart to lose Summit. Plus she's bonded with the team.


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My unsolicited opinion - I agree with @dawgshow. She has many years ahead of her for cheer should she decide to continue.
The Summit is an unnecessary comp for her at this point for a team on which she is nuggeting and being threatened to be removed from because of her motions, etc. I understand she is bonded with her team but I would bet that she is treated more like a pet than a peer. Not sure if you have older kids as well, but a 10 year old does not need to be hanging around with older teens and being exposed to their conversations, social media, etc.

Six days a week in the gym is way too much and her body and mind should be given the chance to do other things while she is still a kid, and you as a parent deserve a life outside the gym as well. I could see 1-2 nights a week at the gym until 9pm (and I am not sure what your commute is on top of that) but most nights? Way too late for her age. I am basing all these things on life experiences with cheer, and while I understand it might break her heart at the moment, you as a parent can boost her up and point out all the positives she has going for her.
 
My unsolicited opinion - I agree with @dawgshow. She has many years ahead of her for cheer should she decide to continue.
The Summit is an unnecessary comp for her at this point for a team on which she is nuggeting and being threatened to be removed from because of her motions, etc. I understand she is bonded with her team but I would bet that she is treated more like a pet than a peer. Not sure if you have older kids as well, but a 10 year old does not need to be hanging around with older teens and being exposed to their conversations, social media, etc.

Six days a week in the gym is way too much and her body and mind should be given the chance to do other things while she is still a kid, and you as a parent deserve a life outside the gym as well. I could see 1-2 nights a week at the gym until 9pm (and I am not sure what your commute is on top of that) but most nights? Way too late for her age. I am basing all these things on life experiences with cheer, and while I understand it might break her heart at the moment, you as a parent can boost her up and point out all the positives she has going for her.

Thank you so much! This is the kind of reality I was hoping to get from this post! It's hard because you always want what's best for your children but at what point do I say enough is enough and accept fact? She wanted to fly so bad and that's why they put her on a senior team. She's not a small girl, very tall for her age. But ya, she's not thriving. She's mostly a nugget. She has no social life. She's always exhausted.


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