All-Star Replacing Athletes With New Athletes...

[coacha]

Then why is it a witch trial when its actually being enforced.

Because of the WAY it was enforced.

I don't think there is a coach here who thinks anyone's spot is guaranteed on any team. But I find the details as presented: between competition days, letting a cheerleader find out at warmups because her backup is in her spot, and the parent finding out via team parent text: to be unprofessional and harmful. I dont understand this as a coach, and as a parent i would never tolerate this sort of thing for my children's teams.

Its baffling that you honestly don't believe that kids should be held accountable. The way this situation was handled was wrong and I have agreed to that multiple times during this conversation. At the end of the day CP was asked to do a skill that she had solid, for whatever reason CP is consistently unable to perform the skill, The parent who signs paperwork stating that if an athlete at some point loses a skill in time their spot is reconsidered everyone is bewildered. When I don't do something that I'm supposed to do wear a seat belt, pay my taxes on time, or leave early enough for work I understand that because of my actions I may be held accountable I don't blame everyone else, or make excuses for myself and I damn sure won't do it for my kids. BTW I don't believe the OP has done this but every scorned cheer mom on this forum seems to believe that is a normal procedure, maybe this is why the sport/country youth are suffering because they are never allowed to be held accountable.

We can all be mad at how it happened, but you can't be mad that it happened.

I actually didn't see any of this on this thread. What i read was outrage on the methods.

 

[CheerBank]

This isn't directed at you personally, but at any coach who believes this method is effective.

Constant fear of being replaced (whether unspoken or loudly advertised) can be a cause of failure. Kids can be so fearful of making a mistake that they freeze up and are unable to perform. I watched this firsthand with my own.

If you were given chance of a redo, how would you have handled things differently? Genuinely curious.

 

[justpeachy]

If you were given chance of a redo, how would you have handled things differently? Genuinely curious.

Easy. I would have made her stay at the program where the coaching style was a better fit for us.

 

[FamousxMindset]

I have said multiple times I DON'T have a problem with kids being held accountable, or being replaced. Choosing to do so in a way that is counterproductive to both the individual child and the team is the issue here. Hold that child accountable, but don't use it as a scare tactic to keep the others in line, which you have said multiple times is a valid coaching strategy. Making an example of one child to keep others in line is counterproductive. Pulling a child in the middle of a competition just to make a point, which you also said you don't have an issue with, is counterproductive. Both are unprofessional and ultimately destructive to a team.

Holding one child accountable naturally alerts the others to do their job or they may be next. I have never said Paige you better get your life together because I just got rid of Karli and you're next. Its not a difficult to process even for kids to grasp.

 

[CheerBank]

Easy. I would have made her stay at the program where the coaching style was a better fit for us.

So you would not have brought her back to the most recent gym? It was her choice to return to this program and not yours?

 

[justpeachy]

So you would not have brought her back to the most recent gym? It was her choice to return to this program and not yours?

That is correct. It was her desire to come back and I allowed it.

 

[quietmom]

For all people, positive feedback and reinforcement have far better outcomes than negative or fear based consequences.

It's fine and acceptable to remove or replace an athlete who is having a serious issue. However, do it in a way that doesn't devastate them or their family's relationship with the gym. I've seen kids get treated terribly (screaming and threatening and bullying) for having a mental block.

Seeing how this has likely gotten back to the gym owners at this point and the relationship is likely broken beyond repair, I hope that all people involved are able to learn from this and heal. I hope that the gym owners and coaches read this and learn from this. But I doubt that they will.

It's easy to go with the flow and drink the Kool aid until it's your kid in the cross hairs and the target. To the team mom, I hope and pray for your child's sake that they never have a serious mental block so that you and your child don't go through this. I pray you never have to experience the other side of this.

 

[Boughetto]

It's easy to go with the flow and drink the Kool aid until it's your kid in the cross hairs and the target.

I wish I could shimmy this multiple times!! It's so accurate and not just for @justpeachy and her CP situation.

 

[cheerisloving]

Easy. I would have made her stay at the program where the coaching style was a better fit for us.

The key point is coaching style. There were gyms 15 minutes away from me with a pretty impressive record and I chose to go a bit further down the road because we were not pleased with the coaching style presented. I know girls who switched gyms when the gym they were at was brought by gym with a coaching style that didn't fit them.

Some kids and parents like a bulldog coach who yells and is intense. These are the kids that either adopt similar coaching styles or come out stronger because of it. Some kids feel like they need a coach to breath down their neck.

Some like a coach that is fun but also strict and has set expectations. The coach that is like family and you respect and want to make proud because of how they've treated you. The one you keep in touch with years after your career is over because they had a positive impact on your life.

Some want the ultra passive coach that doesn't really do any disciplinary actions. A pushover.
Sometimes this can create athletes who are brats because they're front row Sally and their coach gave them what they wanted

I always loved, and my favorite cheer experiences were with, the coaches that treated me with respect and didn't use my struggles as something to punish me for but tried to make me better for it. I don't need to be coddled but when you're going through it-cheer or personally, the sympathic coach is vital.

 

[quietmom]

Also, punishing and holding accountable for behavior choices is fine and acceptable. By behavior choices, I mean goofing off in practice, not following directions, not paying attention, bullying, being rude or disrespectful, poor attendance, being late repeatedly, and similar behavior related offenses.

Removing or replacing an athlete because of a lost skill or mental block or other safety issue is also fine as long as it is done before the competition and handled with some dignity for the athlete.

It's not the fact that the athlete got replaced. It's how all of this was managed.

 

[123jump4!]

If my kid doesn't perform well in practice (after attempts at coaching her to get better which is the main job of a coach!) or isn't paying attention, then she will likely be moved to the back or taken out of a stunt/pass. If she does well in practice she'll be rewarded with some praise and given "good" spots in the routine. Her coach actually told me this.

My kid does currently have some high profile parts in the routine and she totally rocked it at the latest competition. I believe it was because she loves cheer and she wanted to do well. Not because she feared being replaced if she did bad.

My point is, no kid wants to do bad at a competition. Therefore there is no need to make an example of someone at a competition!

@quietmom I wrote this before reading your post, you say similar things!

 

[SL&AM]

IMO, you don't ever take advantage of one child to make a point to the others. That is just bad coaching. Ruling by fear is never the answer. Long term it always falls apart. Having the kid's respect is much more important, and you gain respect by being fair and consistent, not by cutting a kid in the middle of a comp to instill fear in the others. I get that you are trying to defend the coach here, but you have to acknowledge that sometimes coaches do make bad decisions, just like parents.

This times a million. You hurt children 100% of the time when you rule by fear; it doesn't matter if you're the parent, the coach, the teacher, the tutor, the nanny...etc. It is damaging, we know it's damaging, and anybody who thinks differently is more than welcomed to look up the handfuls of research done on this very subject over the past 20 years. It has been studied extensively.

Yes, kids are resiliently and they understand cause and effect, but they also understand humiliation, respect and dignity. The OP's child was not treated appropriated, whether purposefully or not, the message to the other children on the team is loud and clear. If parents are willing to have their children in that environment, frankly, it's on them. As for me and mine, well, they're not cheering the rest of this season so...

 

[cheer25mom]

Holding one child accountable naturally alerts the others to do their job or they may be next. I have never said Paige you better get your life together because I just got rid of Karli and you're next. Its not a difficult to process even for kids to grasp.

That shouldn't be the mindset. It's unhealthy.

No one should have to worry that they may be next. They should do their job because they don't want to let down their team or coach. Th coach sets the tone as to which one happens.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[DonePaying4Cheer]

Why is this program such a hot button for people? Cheer Athletics has won more, Ace and Rockstar have more location. It's not a female owner thing because World Cup is owned by women. But whether it's from inside the gym, or out, someone always has a complaint. What is that?

 

[cheerisloving]

Also, punishing and holding accountable for behavior choices is fine and acceptable. By behavior choices, I mean goofing off in practice, not following directions, not paying attention, bullying, being rude or disrespectful, poor attendance, being late repeatedly, and similar behavior related offenses.

Came back to say something similar. Holding a athlete and child accountable is making sure they are wearing the right outfit, behavior. A skill is something you can lose for whatever reason and I think 'punishing' people for that is a bit much. Take someone off steam but do it in a way that's not negative but positive, I'm trying to make life easier til you can be back to your old self again.

S/n
Even attendance is one that doesn't sit well with me with minor aged children not taking themsevles to practice. I can't help if mommy can't find her keys or dad had a last minute thing at work and we're running late. Parents and coaches should teach kids to call and let them know but it shouldn't be a production because it probably isn't their fault.