All-Star Is Cea Over?

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It is not lost on me that right now as we are talking about someone verbally abusing kids, there is a Very Well Known Coach who has had an entire web series in which he yells, berates, swears, makes kids vomit, etc. and is largely applauded for it. Why the double standard?

It's either okay or it's not.

It's not "okay depending on who is doing it."
Smoed got a tooooon of negativity on here at least. The coach did some not so great things, but threatening to deport a kid after he quit, no matter the reason, was pretty low.
 
Sidebar:

It is not lost on me that right now as we are talking about someone verbally abusing kids, there is a Very Well Known Coach who has had an entire web series in which he yells, berates, swears, makes kids vomit, etc. and is largely applauded for it. Why the double standard?

It's either okay or it's not.

It's not "okay depending on who is doing it."
THIS.
Also, another very well known college cheer coach is being accused of just as many things - illegal and verbal abuse) if not more and it seems to be mostly ignored.
Abby Lee Miller - very similar coaching tactics and was praised more than criticized for it.
Todd Sharp - people loved him when his show aired.
Smoed coaches

I have trouble understanding why it's ok for one but not another. It shouldn't be ok in any circumstance
I also have trouble understanding why grown adults are praising someone on Twitter for attacking children in their quest to ruin CEA when they know how badly verbal abuse and bullying have affected children.
 
I have trouble understanding why it's ok for one but not another. It shouldn't be ok in any circumstance
I also have trouble understanding why grown adults are praising someone on Twitter for attacking children in their quest to ruin CEA when they know how badly verbal abuse and bullying have affected children.

Who’s ok with that? Who’s praising anyone that’s mistreating kids? I must have missed that-
 
I believe it’s possible to be successful without yelling all the time and mistreating kids. Does anyone have any examples of that?
yelling no - I think every coach has had to raise their voice and change tone fairly consistently and yet others may consider that yelling. Mistreating - again very subjective term in my opinion. I have felt certain coaches have mistreated kids when others absolutely love them and see nothing wrong with their coaching. I have also felt certain coaches are incredible and others felt they were mentally abusive. That's why I am against reporting a coach to USASF or having USASF dictate what is acceptable on the basis of coaching style.
 
I am aware of one high school cheer coach who got in trouble for “yelling “at her athletes. Her response was have you ever listened to the football coaches. My yelling and words are nothing compared to theirs.

Our whole society needs to do and be better.

I know it’s a different sport & age but my non CP’s new soccer club has wonderful coaching. Lots of instruction and positiveness, no yelling unless it’s just to actually be heard. They are VERY successful. One of the top girls clubs in the country.
 
I’m so sorry that you went through that. So although I agree with most you said and disagree with some. Out of respect for you and the pain you’ve shared I wouldn’t want to dispute with you. I just feel there has to be a better way then anon dm with confessions on Twitter. Where anyone can literally type up anything.

But not all of these are from anon accounts. Real girls with real names are speaking out. That’s changes things in my opinion. And we don’t know if they tried to report at the time.
look at the Larry Nasaar case- girls reported- they were told it was being investigated. And we now know it went nowhere. No one had the girls safety or well-being in mind. We do know the the coaches, owners and USGA turned a blind eye- do we honestly the the cheer coaches, owners and USASF is any better?
We don’t know if these CEA girls reported. We do know that the coaches seem pretty dismissive and aggressive towards athlete that have spoken out in the past few days. USASF hasn’t said a peep either.
I think regardless of who started this someone needs to intervene and investigate.
 
Smoed got a tooooon of negativity on here at least. The coach did some not so great things, but threatening to deport a kid after he quit, no matter the reason, was pretty low.

Ugh I am not a fan. Is being on a top team really that important that you would allow 2 adults to bully your child and break them down like that. and you are paying for this awful treatment. Hard NO for me.
 
I believe it’s possible to be successful without yelling all the time and mistreating kids. Does anyone have any examples of that?

It's absolutely possible, I am witnessing it happen in our current gym right now. Going on 4 seasons, multiple coaches... there has never been one time I felt like the coaching went too far. Has there been yelling? Of course.... that's not a big deal.

It's when the yelling goes into what a piece of $hit you are personally vs why you messed up your stunt for the 80th time, that the line is crossed.

Oh, and as for success- she's won I think 2 Summit rings, 2 NCA titles, Champions League and a bronze medal from Worlds. So plenty of success without having to sacrifice mental health.

The line between tough coaching and abuse is very clear. Raising your voice is not abuse. Being tough with a kid is not abuse. Frustration is not abuse. Personally insulting kids or intentionally humiliating them IS abuse. It's really very simple.
 
The only time former CPs coach yells is when he is calling out times or yelling to be heard across a football field. He puts on his shoes every single day and runs with his high school kids before school, middle school after school and everyone else in the evening. He is currently coaching the most successful boys high school XC & T&F team the state has ever had. He also has his masters in sports psychology.

You don’t need to demean kids for them to do well.
 
You don’t need to demean kids for them to do well.

In fact, it's counterproductive. Broken kids aren't quite as useful in a team setting.

My son's band director is similar- super intense, but I have never once heard him raise his voice. But runs one of the top 10 high school band programs in the country.
 
I coached HS for a while. Different animal entirely but some things still apply re: coaching style.

The thing is, so much of style v. abuse is subjective.

Case in point: My kids were once having the hardest time cradling lib twist down. I do not even know why. Th majority of groups were just catching so terribly.

Out of pure frustration I said: Okay wow, we are literally going to cradle drill from prep and extension all night as it seems we have forgotten how to do that." And we did.

Snippy? Maybe. but it was late. I had a kid to pick up from the sitter, you name it.

I got a voicemail from a parent the next day from a parent saying "I berated her daughter's group and embarrassed her."

I never singled out this group or child directly. Yet she felt berated.
 
I coached HS for a while. Different animal entirely but some things still apply re: coaching style.

The thing is, so much of style v. abuse is subjective.

Case in point: My kids were once having the hardest time cradling lib twist down. I do not even know why. Th majority of groups were just catching so terribly.

Out of pure frustration I said: Okay wow, we are literally going to cradle drill from prep and extension all night as it seems we have forgotten how to do that." And we did.

Snippy? Maybe. but it was late. I had a kid to pick up from the sitter, you name it.

I got a voicemail from a parent the next day from a parent saying "I berated her daughter's group and embarrassed her."

I never singled out this group or child directly. Yet she felt berated.


That's not abusive, that's frustration. People do need to learn the difference because it minimizes those of us that do have legitimate complaints.
 
Something needs to be done about this, I personally think that contacting the senators or any local government branch would yield some results.
 
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