All-Star Replacing Athletes With New Athletes...

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[QUOTE="But if anyone shoves my son out of anywhere, we are going to have a problem.

Not a "you'll be hearing from my lawyer" problem either.

A "you'd better call the police crazy Black lady who needs someone to hold her earrings" problem.[/QUOTE]

I would be happy to hold your earrings in such a circumstance!
 
I am becoming more and more saddened by the direction I am seeing all star cheer going. In the 8 years CP and I have been involved in all star, I have notice significant negative changes. Maybe these changes are "real" or maybe I just learn more the longer we have been around the sport. I believe some of the negatives began with the advent of the Summit (CP has never been on a world's team so it may have always been this way for world's athletes). The "win at any cost" mentality of many gyms, small, large and mega, is spreading. In many areas if you are not competing this way you cannot win.

I feel as though we have lost some of the core principles that should be the foundation of youth sports. Those that help kids develop into productive adults. Principles like team work, learning to be a gracious winner and a gracious loser, hard work and sustained effort, and leader and follower skills. When gyms do whatever it takes to win a jacket or a medal, we begin to strip away the best of youth sports. And, all teams suffer. The winning teams know they have not won "fairly" and the losing teams know they have lost "unfairly." Both sets of teams have learned the wrong lesson.

And, when the "win at any cost" strategy has the effect of psychologically harming kids, it has gone far too far. The adults at the helm of all star cheer need to do something. While we may be ok with trophies, jackets and bids going to teams that don't truly deserve them, we cannot be ok with children being psychologically abused in the process. I am so sorry for all of those it has happened to.
 
I am becoming more and more saddened by the direction I am seeing all star cheer going. In the 8 years CP and I have been involved in all star, I have notice significant negative changes. Maybe these changes are "real" or maybe I just learn more the longer we have been around the sport. I believe some of the negatives began with the advent of the Summit (CP has never been on a world's team so it may have always been this way for world's athletes). The "win at any cost" mentality of many gyms, small, large and mega, is spreading. In many areas if you are not competing this way you cannot win.

I feel as though we have lost some of the core principles that should be the foundation of youth sports. Those that help kids develop into productive adults. Principles like team work, learning to be a gracious winner and a gracious loser, hard work and sustained effort, and leader and follower skills. When gyms do whatever it takes to win a jacket or a medal, we begin to strip away the best of youth sports. And, all teams suffer. The winning teams know they have not won "fairly" and the losing teams know they have lost "unfairly." Both sets of teams have learned the wrong lesson.

And, when the "win at any cost" strategy has the effect of psychologically harming kids, it has gone far too far. The adults at the helm of all star cheer need to do something. While we may be ok with trophies, jackets and bids going to teams that don't truly deserve them, we cannot be ok with children being psychologically abused in the process. I am so sorry for all of those it has happened to.

This brought me to tears and summed up my thoughts perfectly.

The WHOLE POINT of youth sports is to enhance our parenting through life lessons. When things are taken to this extreme, the result is broken people, not better people.
 
@DonePaying4Cheer Surprised by your dislike comment. It is a discussion board, to discuss all sides; both positive and negative. At times play devils advocate. This does not apply to justpeachy, her replies have been very forthcoming, insightful, and eye opening. In other situations, I have witnessed Moms ecstatic when their CP replaced a struggling flyer on another higher level team, but years later when it happened to their CP they were furious.

I didn't mean to give you a dislike. I didn't even know that I rated your comment. I must have had fat finger. Sorry.
 
I am becoming more and more saddened by the direction I am seeing all star cheer going. In the 8 years CP and I have been involved in all star, I have notice significant negative changes. Maybe these changes are "real" or maybe I just learn more the longer we have been around the sport. I believe some of the negatives began with the advent of the Summit (CP has never been on a world's team so it may have always been this way for world's athletes). The "win at any cost" mentality of many gyms, small, large and mega, is spreading. In many areas if you are not competing this way you cannot win.

I feel as though we have lost some of the core principles that should be the foundation of youth sports. Those that help kids develop into productive adults. Principles like team work, learning to be a gracious winner and a gracious loser, hard work and sustained effort, and leader and follower skills. When gyms do whatever it takes to win a jacket or a medal, we begin to strip away the best of youth sports. And, all teams suffer. The winning teams know they have not won "fairly" and the losing teams know they have lost "unfairly." Both sets of teams have learned the wrong lesson.

And, when the "win at any cost" strategy has the effect of psychologically harming kids, it has gone far too far. The adults at the helm of all star cheer need to do something. While we may be ok with trophies, jackets and bids going to teams that don't truly deserve them, we cannot be ok with children being psychologically abused in the process. I am so sorry for all of those it has happened to.
Unfortunately we see this across all youth sports. Once there is money to be made off parents, this is what happens.
 
Thank you, that means a lot from you.

I accept all the responsibility for what happened. I heard the rumors and took her there anyways. I saw it with my own eyes, yet we continued. There was this feeling that if she tried just a little harder, got a little more skill, she would become one of the untouchable kids.

It's very sick and I should not have allowed it.

You're a good mom. I say that because parents are not perfect, but you are willing to accept responsibility for your lapse. Your daughter has learned alot from your humility.

A similar thing happened to a girl who was basing me when I cheered. She was a great base and everything she touched hit. But, when a girl from another township sent a video in, the coach brought her in. The athlete's mom was sick in the hospital and she was with her for one practice. It was the one practice she ever missed, the coach rearranged the routine while she was gone, to include the new girl. When she came back next practice and it was time for "only stunting". She ran to her spot, but there was someone already there. The coach never really had a talk with her, she just sort of figured it out on her own. Needless to say, she quit, but since her family had already bought airline tickets to our big comp of the season, she came out to cheer us on. We didn't do well. Her being treated that way caused a big rift in our team. We loved her, she was one of "us". I think coaches and parents don't realize what goes on during practice and on the mat at competition. We talk about our days at practice, our boyfriends and girlfriends, our mess ups, how tired we are, and yes, when our parents are getting on our nerves. We tell fart jokes so we can smile big in the dance at the end of the 100th full-out. We encourage each other, and give each other advice on how to get better. When something goes wrong, we keep each other's spirits up. It's hard to smile when your routine falls apart. But, kids do it. Sometimes, we make a funny face to keep from crying. When she left, it was like losing a part of our family. It tore the team apart. She had been there the entire season and had never missed a competition, except the last one. We weren't mad at the new girl, she was cool. But, we missed her and everyone felt like if it could happen to someone that nice and good at her job, then no one was safe. I quit a year later.

When I started tutoring kids while in college, I realized how important a coach, favorite teacher, or mentor can be. If I told a student I was proud of them, their face would light up. If they made a mistake and I corrected them, not so much. My opinion meant everything. Some of those kids, started tutoring younger kids and would visit just to show me what they were doing. It just made me realize how important it is to be gentle with developing kids.

ok...off my soapbox. Carry on...
 
The WHOLE POINT of youth sports is to enhance our parenting through life lessons. When things are taken to this extreme, the result is broken people, not better people.

I couldn't agree more. I have so many things I could add having seen what happened with the satellite gym that opened in my backyard, but best to keep my mouth shut.

I'm sorry this happened to your CP, hug her tight and know she will come back stronger with the right coaching and your love and support.
 
Sadly it's not just at that program. This is something that is rampant throughout the sport. ALL if not at least most gyms do the "scare kid" tactic. Look at the demographic of coaches, young, 20 something males who have zero idea how to deal with kids or teens. They don't care how it affects the kid. To them they just need to "suck it up". I have personally seen kids kicked out of a gym due to a mental block and told they couldn't come back until they were over it. One kid is still cheering but suffers blocks continually and the other never came back. It's just the way it is. For some reason parents allow their children to literally be emotionally abused to get a jacket they probably won't care about in 10 years. If "mandatory reporters" actually did that at cheer gyms, dear lord CPS would be backlogged for years.
I think this is true. My gym was no where near as bad as some of the stories on this thread but there are some moments from my time in cheer that I now realize went far beyond tough love bordering on emotional abuse.
 
I accept full responsibility for making the wrong choice to keep my child there. It's easy to overlook things like that until they become your problem. Hindsight is 20/20.

I think you stated it perfectly here. Somehow we overlook things at the time with clouded judgement when our children plead to stay. I have numerous friends that have stayed far too long at gyms after their children were treated like this. I hope she is able to move on and find a place that has all of the qualities that will help her succeed in and out of cheer.
 
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