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Apr 25, 2018
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I'm new to this cheer world. My daughter started all star cheering in prep, she finished her 1st full year of all star cheer. I'm looking for advice on the direction we should go moving forward. I feel I should give the entire picture so the best advice possible can be formed so I apologize about the lengthy message. We're at a small gym right now. As I'm learning different gyms do things different, small accommodate more than large gyms. For last season's tryouts my daughter had a back hand spring series but it wasn't clean so she was put on a mini level 1 team. No problem, I understand that. She progressed and within a couple of weeks after tryouts she was doing 5-6 back hand springs series perfectly. I noticed their level 2 team had 6-8 girls (out of 23) who did not have back hand springs at all and some not even a walkover. a couple were flyers but not all (they were all old enough to either go to mini 1 or make J1). I was annoyed but got over it, my daughter hadn't paid much attention, she only wanted to make J1 but she was only 7. We did a lot of individual competitions and she was able to perform her tumbling skills that way and loved it. Season is over and tryouts for the new season, this time we're up to doing layouts. I get a call that she made level 2 and although she can't base for level 3 they want her to double team on level 3. There's another girl who moved up to level 2 with her but she doesn't have level 2 skills yet and no, she is not going to be a flyer. In the mean time we have tried out at large gym and they would like to place her on a level 3 team there. I asked my daughter what she wants to do and she wants both, because the small gym is where her friends are (although only 1 moved up with her) but the large gym she knows she will continue to get the higher skills there. My dilemma is I like to be a loyal person, I don't like the inconsistency of the decisions on why they move some and not others for the same thing. How are you not good enough to be placed on a higher team 1st but yet you are good enough to double team on it? They are good to her but they don't 100% focus on the technical side of things. The larger gym does and I know that she can learn more for a longer period of time. I know she will be sad to leave yet she will eventually be ok. Should I allow her to stay at the smaller gym at least one more season (they have lost some good athletes on bad decisions) or would I be better moving her to the larger gym now? On a side note, we go to the large gym for tumbling classes already and they see her as a flyer due to her flexibility however it's not likely she'll be a flyer at the smaller gym because they pretty much have their flyers in place and since she doesn't fly now she doesn't really have the skills to do it on a team. She just turned 8. I do not want to seem like "that mom". I do not think my daughter is better than any other child her age. I do not believe she should be put on a team just because of her skills (so, no I'm not saying she needs to be on a level 3 or 4 team)but I do believe in consistency and I want to explain to her why she didn't get something and what she needs to do to earn it and then leave it in her hands. Any input would be helpful for those who have dealt with this before.
 
You either trust that the gym/coaches have the best interest of the team at heart or you don't. If you don't, then you shouldn't stay. First and foremost, gyms and coaches want their teams and their business to be successful. What needs to be done to accomplish that may not always be in an individual athlete's best interest (or it may seem that way to the athlete or the parent). Just because you don't understand why a decision is made doesn't mean it's the wrong decision. There is so much more to cheering than tumbling skills. That being said, sometimes gyms (especially small ones) play favorites or cow to the demands of certain parents. If that's the case, it's not going to get better by staying longer.

One last word of advice from someone who did this all star cheer thing for a very long time - quit worrying about other kids and their skills.
 
You either trust that the gym/coaches have the best interest of the team at heart or you don't. If you don't, then you shouldn't stay. First and foremost, gyms and coaches want their teams and their business to be successful. What needs to be done to accomplish that may not always be in an individual athlete's best interest (or it may seem that way to the athlete or the parent). Just because you don't understand why a decision is made doesn't mean it's the wrong decision. There is so much more to cheering than tumbling skills. That being said, sometimes gyms (especially small ones) play favorites or cow to the demands of certain parents. If that's the case, it's not going to get better by staying longer.

One last word of advice from someone who did this all star cheer thing for a very long time - quit worrying about other kids and their skills.
Thank you. I will take that advise wisely.
 
If you truly feel they are playing favorites and not placing based on skill, there is no reason to stay.
 
There is a lot to digest in your post.
I don't like the inconsistency of the decisions on why they move some and not others for the same thing.
Just because you don't understand their reasoning does not make it necessarily inconsistent. The way the score sheet is devised they don't necessarily need everyone to excel at everything so keep that in mind. Sometimes stereotypes are true about large vs small and sometimes not so I'd advise you not to get too caught up in that.
 
I wouldn't keep my kid at a gym just because of friends. In fact, I moved my kid from the gym where her friends were this past season and she now agrees that it was the best decision. As the parent who does the driving, paying and sacrificing of time, I made the decision that she should go to the gym that will help her succeed as an athlete. Guess what, some of her friends are coming to the new gym next season.
 
My CP cheered at a small gym (literally 27 kids) for one season and she has cheered for a large-ish gym of over 300 kids for 5 seasons. They were definitely different experiences. But in the end they are they are a business. You will find inconsistencies in both. I could tell you a million reasons why we loved the small gym and the larger gym. And several reasons what bothered me.

Is your current gym growing in size? There could be opportunity for her to grow there if they are able to field more teams down the road. Obviously the large gym will have opportunity for her to grow now since they probably field more levels.

Go with your gut. If your current gym is making you question so many of their decisions to the point that it is truly bothering you. Leave. You don't owe them an explanation. It's ok. Loyalty does not have to end because you left their gym. You can still wish them well and cheer them on at competitions. Just because your gym was a good fit for your CP now does not mean that it will always be a good fit.

She is only 8 years old. At this time, I would be more concerned that she is having fun, not what level she is on. A mini 2 might be a great fit for her. She can excel and be with kids her own age. There is plenty of time for her to be on a junior squad. She might want to be with the "big kids." A fun part of cheer for my child has been the socialization. Last year she was on a team that was probably not the most age appropriate for her. She really only had 2 kids on the team that she bonded with. The older kids didn't want much to do with the younger ones. Which I completely understand.

I know that she already tumbles at the bigger gym. Can you go in for a real tour and speak with the owner or program director about specifics with the program? Have you talked with any of the parents at that gym? Have you read their reviews on their facebook page?

Change is scary, but sometimes it is worth the risk. Good luck in whatever you decide!
 
Please be advised that you need to talk to your young daughter about what she wants. See what she feels comfortable with. Ask her questions and see what beat fits her. Does she want to move forward with a big team and more competition with heavy drills where she might get hurt. Or does she want something less competitive where she wont get hurt in the long run. I focus on the cheer and other sports arenas and cheerleading is not a easy as some people may like to think. I can help your daughter to be guided in the right direction. If she or you as her mom wants my guidance. I can talk to you both. Day or night. Just make sure not to push your daughter away from you and never push her into Cheer stunts and cheer events same with life events. Dont push her. Your daughter is still young and you dont want to hurt her. If you push her and force her more likely she will focus on you as her mom and thinks she doing it for you. Let your daughter have her own speed and see if she wants the big or small gym. You need to talk to your daughter to see what she feel comfortable. You never know she can one day be a Pro-Cheerleader.
I can talk to you and your daughter if you want more guidance in the cheer world. I will love to hear how she advances and I can see how to guide her where she feels love and her cheer team feels like family to you and your daughter.
 
Tumbling.isn't.the.only.section.of.the.scoresheet
Don't be that Mom.
 
Please be advised that you need to talk to your young daughter about what she wants. See what she feels comfortable with. Ask her questions and see what beat fits her. Does she want to move forward with a big team and more competition with heavy drills where she might get hurt. Or does she want something less competitive where she wont get hurt in the long run. I focus on the cheer and other sports arenas and cheerleading is not a easy as some people may like to think. I can help your daughter to be guided in the right direction. If she or you as her mom wants my guidance. I can talk to you both. Day or night. Just make sure not to push your daughter away from you and never push her into Cheer stunts and cheer events same with life events. Dont push her. Your daughter is still young and you dont want to hurt her. If you push her and force her more likely she will focus on you as her mom and thinks she doing it for you. Let your daughter have her own speed and see if she wants the big or small gym. You need to talk to your daughter to see what she feel comfortable. You never know she can one day be a Pro-Cheerleader.
I can talk to you and your daughter if you want more guidance in the cheer world. I will love to hear how she advances and I can see how to guide her where she feels love and her cheer team feels like family to you and your daughter.

What is a pro-cheerleader?
 
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