All-Star Advice To Gym Moms....

If you child does not move up or achieve a skill and her friends do, don't ask her why and when she is going to get that skill or move up. It will only make her feel like she is not good enough for you and that feeling can go way beyond cheer and effect her everyday life and relationship with you in the long run.

Buy an iPad.

We drive an hour to cheer. I got sick of shopping and eating. I go to Starbucks and watch netflix and read books and magazines on iBooks.

If you are new to a gym, sit back and observe the moms, the craziest overbearing moms are usually the ones who approach you day one and are over friendly. I'm not saying every friendly mom is nuts. Sit and observe and you will see the difference.

Keep away from the viewing window. It's like watching tv without the sound on, you can kind of figure out what's going on, but not really.

Unless you are Debbie Love (or an equivalent) do not try to coach your child on skills.

A must read for every cheer parent can be found under the 'Cheer Parent Online' forum. Check out NACP "the rules". Its good stuff.

Wow, if I had listened to any of the above advice, my daughters wouldn't be where they are today... I WAS that mom. I AM that mom. And I am proud of it. This will be year 9 for us in all star cheer and while everyone says you mellow out as they get older, I haven't. I'm still just as passionate about how my kids are doing, how they are progressing and yes, how they are progressing compared to their peers. I personally don't think there's a thing wrong with desiring or wanting your child to be able to hang with the best unless the best just isn't in their reach. But if it is...don't be afraid to push them! Sometimes kids get lazy and if given the opportunity, will slack off and not want to train to their best ability. IMO, it is my job to make them train and push to be their best. I do not teach my children that mediocrity is acceptable. Not in cheer, not in school, not in their relationship with God. I teach them to do ALL things the very best they can. That means train hard, determine to be the best you can be. I believe God blesses us when we are trying our very best.

ufomom said:

Unless you are Debbie Love (or an equivalent) do not try to coach your child on skills.

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I'm not the equivalent of Debbie Love but any stretch...but I am a certified personal trainer. So, I do know a thing or two about conditioning and stretching...LOL.

When CP was stretching at home I was telling her that actually, at home, i wanted her to do it my way, because the way that they were doing a certain thing at the gym...the form wasn't quite right. The little poop said "Um, no offense mom, but I think coach is a LITTLE bit more qualified than you." so I had to say "UM, no offense cp, but your coach is qualified for TUMBLING, I don't see any other certifications." us parents, we don't know anything ::::smh:::

This kinda goes along with some of the other posts...but realize that your child may not be the point flyer, point dancer, last pass tumbler...and they are okay with that. There are plenty of kids that LOVE cheerleading but are just fine being in the back, not having to be the center of attention. My daughter is that girl-doesn't really care about her placement in formations or dance, because she just loves being out there and she LOVES to stunt and is a fierce backspot. She shimmies and shows attitude just like the rest of them-and at the end of the day, she is there because of her love of the sport and her team.

RaRaMama said:

This kinda goes along with some of the other posts...but realize that your child may not be the point flyer, point dancer, last pass tumbler...and they are okay with that. There are plenty of kids that LOVE cheerleading but are just fine being in the back, not having to be the center of attention. My daughter is that girl-doesn't really care about her placement in formations or dance, because she just loves being out there and she LOVES to stunt and is a fierce backspot. She shimmies and shows attitude just like the rest of them-and at the end of the day, she is there because of her love of the sport and her team.

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Agree with this. I have two CP's. My oldest doesn't care about placements in the routine. She just loves being out there. My youngest, however, is on a mission to be point flyer on J5 this year. She wants it so bad. lol I will not tell her to stop trying to achieve that goal but constantly remind her that many factors go into who gets what spot and that she shouldn't think less of herself if she doesn't get it.

Mclovin said:

Agree with this. I have two CP's. My oldest doesn't care about placements in the routine. She just loves being out there. My youngest, however, is on a mission to be point flyer on J5 this year. She wants it so bad. lol I will not tell her to stop trying to achieve that goal but constantly remind her that many factors go into who gets what spot and that she shouldn't think less of herself if she doesn't get it.

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And IMO sometimes the strongest flyer is put on the weakest group to compensate and will never be point.....Also size plays a factor in formations so theres not much that can be done from that perspective

I'm not saying don't push your kids to excellence, but they need aspects of their life where tere are other role models besides their parents. I don't sit in the school office all day or sit at the classroom window all day watching, so I don't do it at cheer either.

My CP is very driven, and the goals she reaches are hers. She shines at cheer and it's all her, all I do is drive her to practice.

I also want to point out that I am also a coach. There is a BIG difference between how I push my own children and how I push those that I coach. I KNOW my kids and their potential. I know their weaknesses and strengths. I know when they are being hypochondriacs and when they are really hurt. I know if they are being lazy or just aren't capable of what I'm expecting of them. But when I'm coaching someone else's kid, I have to listen to their concerns. If they say they are hurt, I can't MAKE them do something. If they say they are scared, I have to be very delicate in how I deal with that. So yes, it is important to let the coach be the coach and you have to let the coach decide what skills your child should be working on, but that coach does NOT know your child inside and out like you do. So there is nothing wrong with pushing your own child to be their absolute best. There is nothing wrong with having talks with them at home about what you expect from them. Just don't override what the coach is telling them. I had a kid come to practice the other day...she had hurt her chest in a stunt the day before. She came in to practice and said "my mom said I could stunt as long as my bases and backspot knew what they were doing".... UMMMM, that is NOT for your mom to decide. So please, don't COACH your child...don't teach your child to second guess what their coaches are having them do. But DO push your child to be their best.

Be supportive. Period. That means that you, as a parent, need to be whatever your child needs. That might be a shoulder to cry on when she's frustrated with skills, and it might be someone to celebrate every victory with them- even if it's finally getting that backwalkover or elevator cradle. Do not compare your child to other kids and their progress, because you know what, they're all different. Kids want to please their coaches and their parents- make sure that you are there to support them no matter what. Be their biggest cheerleader, and cheer will always be a blast for them.

Sorry, can't agree with the drop-and-shop method of cheer parenting. As long as I have underage children working in close proximity with adults, I'll be there. Love ya, coaches, but I'm glad you're used to me being in the parent lobby

My daughter is very driven and determined as well and she is kind of like a perfectionist if she doesn't do one skill right one time after she has it she will almost always get all teary eyed and upset. This is the same kid who started crying at open gym a week ago because they put them in stations and there was like 5 things you do and you just keep rotating and going to the next one. Well my daughter accidentally skipped one and she didn't realize it till a few stations later. There was so many girls no one noticed and no one was going to be mad... But who started crying?
My daughter because she missed a station. Lol it was kind of funny. The tears lasted all of 30 secs

Anyways sorry that had nothing to do with this topic but I agree with a few others on this. I do push my daughter to an extent. Next month will be 2 years since we started at the age of 5 and I know what she can handle and what is to much and will shut her down.

Some healthy encouragement is not a bad thing. I don't want her to settle for being just ok. I always want her to know that no matter what I am proud of her and she has came a long way.

I will say I don't think my daughter would have the skill she has if there wasn't any push there. No she is not a young phenom and yes there is plenty of kids who got their tuck at the age of 6 so she is one of many but there are also a lot of more talented kids. I seen them at our old gym and I seen them at our new gym that they to could have more then what they have right now if there was a little more encouragement or push to strive to be the best. If you can push and strive for the best at school why can't you push and strive for the best at the gym.

If your kids brings home As and Bs which are good do y'all not let them know how proud you are but encourage them to try harder or help them so maybe next time they can bring home As?

It's the same for the gym, I'm not going to tell my daughter to go out there and throw a full when she is still working on layouts but I will help her reach her goals. My daughter own personal goal that she has is to get her full this year and and her standing tuck. I personally think she will get her layout soon and the same for a standing tuck. They are being spotted now but they are pretty good. Do I think she will have her full this year?? With a spot yes I sure do! But by herself probably not and that's ok!
I'm not going to tell her it's out of reach because she can definitely do it maybe not when she is 7 but It can be her goal and with hard work and determination I know she can do it at some point.

I will never let her be just ok. There is nothing wrong with trying to be the best. Of course there is always someone better and that's what will drive her and push her. But I want her to always do her best!