All-Star Kids Say The Darndest Things

UltimateAlexis said:

Reading through this thread and while all the ones I've read so far are funny...I died laughing when I read yours. Honestly made my day I probably would have cried laughing if I was there when it happened.

Click to expand...

Well thank you , this young lady is probably included in over half of all my funny coaching stories, she is hilarious!

Last week, our Sr 4 team found out one of their girls would not be able to compete at our last competition of the season. The coach asked my daughter if she would be willing to fill in in the pyramid, jumps and dance. The other girl was point dancer for most of the dance, so I asked CP if she could "sell" it as good as Susie.

She immediately responded "Ummm...no. I'm more of a second row dancer"

Gotta love her honesty!

Advice from a very serious-faced mini: it's good to be a girl in cheerleading because if you kick a boy between the legs he will cry.

Back when I used to coach a rec Tinys team I would always give the girls skittles at the end of class.well at their first competition of the season,one of the girls yelled "wait!" as they were getting set on the mat and actually ran off the floor and came to the front where I was kneeling and said "I still get my candy after,right?" -_-

BowsnBling said:

Well thank you , this young lady is probably included in over half of all my funny coaching stories, she is hilarious!

Click to expand...

I remember her doing the nair thing :,D

BowsnBling "my arms kinda sting" makes me laugh every time I think about it.

I have so many stories, but my top two are:

I was coaching the tinys and we had a 5 year old little girl named Iman, she was always hilarious, however, my favorite convo went something like this:
Iman: "Coach Amy do you got a man?"
Me: "No Iman, I don't, thank you for pointing that out"
Iman: "Why you don't got a man?"
Me: "Good question Iman, I don't know why I don't have a man"
Iman: "Well, do you got any kids?"
Me: "No Iman, I don't have any kids"
Iman: "Why you aint got no kids?"
Me: "Because I don't have a man"
Iman: "Well, my mama gots kids and she's not as old as you"
Me: "Thank you Iman, for pointing out my age and my shortcomings"
Iman: "Welcome".......Followed by a very satisfied smile.


My second favorite.......I was coaching another 5 year old by the name of Carolyn, who had a fairly new sister. At this particular practuce she insisted on bringing her baby doll. I allowed her to keep her baby doll, but we had to put the baby doll "where all the other cheerleaders keep their baby dolls" (in her cubbie.) About mid way through practice, without saying a thing, she pulls her arm out of her shirt through the neck, walks over to her cubbie, picks up her baby doll and holds it up to her chest......I ask "Carolyn, what are you doing?" and she said "I am breast feeding my baby!" I had to fight back my laughter and responded with "well thats nice, but cheerleaders don't breast feed during practice."

Not cheer related but...

My sister and I were driving with my niece (who's almost 2). We're teaching her different words and I was holding up a stuffed hippo saying "Isabelle, say hippo" and she wouldn't. My sister says "Isabelle, who am I?", expecting to hear "Mom". Nope she says "you're HIPPO" with so much enthusiasm. I died laughing. My sister? Way more insulted

One of our Mini's this year was talking to my daughter and they were talking about their favorite coaches.
Mini-My favorite coach is coach K
My Cp- why he likes to condition the big kids. My favorite coach is coach R
Mini-Yikes you cray cray girl
My Cp-"Shakes her head and walks away" Says as she is walking away that kid needs help

My child has no filter we are working on it though

LabbyGirlMOM said:

One of our Mini's this year was talking to my daughter and they were talking about their favorite coaches.
Mini-My favorite coach is coach K
My Cp- why he likes to condition the big kids. My favorite coach is coach R
Mini-Yikes you cray cray girl
My Cp-"Shakes her head and walks away" Says as she is walking away that kid needs help

My child has no filter we are working on it though

Click to expand...

Coach R better stand for Coach Rudags

Rudags said:

Coach R better stand for Coach Rudags

Click to expand...

Sure She gets a new favorite coach every week

LabbyGirlMOM said:

Sure She gets a new favorite coach every week

Click to expand...

I think I've only made her cry once. LOL

Rudags said:

I think I've only made her cry once. LOL

Click to expand...

The you will be her favorite very soon

Today in the beginning tumbling class I help out in and one of the girls named Ally came running up to me:

Ally: I'm so excited my birthday is tomorrow!
Me: Really?! How old are you gonna be?
Ally: I'm almost 5!
Me: Wow, you're getting pretty old Ally
Ally: Nooo, I'm not old! Old people fall in the bathtub.

and she just walked away. I was dying.

cheeromgbre said:

Today in the beginning tumbling class I help out in and one of the girls named Ally came running up to me:

Ally: I'm so excited my birthday is tomorrow!
Me: Really?! How old are you gonna be?
Ally: I'm almost 5!
Me: Wow, you're getting pretty old Ally
Ally: Nooo, I'm not old! Old people fall in the bathtub.

and she just walked away. I was dying.

Click to expand...

just spit out my drink...LOL

cheeromgbre said:

Today in the beginning tumbling class I help out in and one of the girls named Ally came running up to me:

Ally: I'm so excited my birthday is tomorrow!
Me: Really?! How old are you gonna be?
Ally: I'm almost 5!
Me: Wow, you're getting pretty old Ally
Ally: Nooo, I'm not old! Old people fall in the bathtub.

and she just walked away. I was dying.

Click to expand...

I just laughed out loud. People are staring