Back Handdpring....

[VACheerMom2014]

I searched this topic and really couldn't find an answer -

CP just started cheer a year ago with very little tumble experience. She has been working on BHS and ROBHS for 6 months. Several months back had progressed on cheese mat, no spot on standing; did a ROBHS but landed on knees without spot. Then won't do any of it without a spot since (she did eat the mat on the standing once.)

I know the kids have to progress when they are ready, but I just don't know how much more money and time I can invest in privates. Coach says she is close and barely touching on spots. It's not the coach - other kids are progressing. She is frustrated, but I guess the frustration hasn't been worse than the fear.

How do I encourage CP to attack this skill? I tell her 20 seconds of courage brings greatness (she doesn't buy it). The pressure at the gym is there and I think once she believes in herself and she does the skill it will build her confidence.

 

[retiredl5cheer]

Sometimes the best thing to do is stop. Stop stressing, stop pushing, stop worrying...and yes, stop private lessons. She's not progressing, so going to the same coach and same lesson over and over again just builds up more frustration in her and in you. Don't take private lessons away as a punishment, just suggest that maybe some time to regroup and refocus could be beneficial. Then stop talking about the BHS all together. The more pressure that is put on your CP, the more frustrated she'll get.

There's a simple way to look at it: frustration turns into stress, which turns into fear, which circles right back around to create more frustration.

 

[cheer25mom]

Sometimes the best thing to do is stop. Stop stressing, stop pushing, stop worrying...and yes, stop private lessons. She's not progressing, so going to the same coach and same lesson over and over again just builds up more frustration in her and in you. Don't take private lessons away as a punishment, just suggest that maybe some time to regroup and refocus could be beneficial. Then stop talking about the BHS all together. The more pressure that is put on your CP, the more frustrated she'll get.

There's a simple way to look at it: frustration turns into stress, which turns into fear, which circles right back around to create more frustration.

ITA with this. That cycle has to break, and sometimes I think we as parents have to step completely out of it. I learned that the hard way when CP was just starting, but I was a lesson I needed. I have gotten better at recognizing it and cutting it off.

CP ate mat on a standing 2 about 6 weeks ago and started to regress in what she would throw. She was SO upset and mad at herself. She stayed 30 min late after one tumbling class trying to MAKE herself do a round off 3 again, and I finally put my foot down. I put a 2 week ban on even discussing what she was throwing or not. I told her just throw what you are comfortable throwing. If it is iffy, don't do it. Do what you KNOW you can be successful with. In 2 weeks, you can start trying to push yourself, but you need to give yourself some time to NOT stress about it. After 2 weeks, I let her start pushing, and she is now back to where she was.

 

[VACheerMom2014]

Sometimes the best thing to do is stop. Stop stressing, stop pushing, stop worrying...and yes, stop private lessons. She's not progressing, so going to the same coach and same lesson over and over again just builds up more frustration in her and in you. Don't take private lessons away as a punishment, just suggest that maybe some time to regroup and refocus could be beneficial. Then stop talking about the BHS all together. The more pressure that is put on your CP, the more frustrated she'll get.

There's a simple way to look at it: frustration turns into stress, which turns into fear, which circles right back around to create more frustration.

Thanks @retiredl5cheer. This is what my gut says, I think I just needed to hear it from someone that didn't have a "hand in the game." I think Christmas break is arriving at a good time to naturally step away for a week or so and start fresh in 2015.

 

[VACheerMom2014]

Thanks so much for sharing @cheer25mom . Truly appreciate it.

 

[cheer25mom]

Thanks so much for sharing @cheer25mom . Truly appreciate it.

No problem!

 

[Tosh]

I agree with many of the posters, just let her be, do not push and do not bring it up; she will do it when she is ready. My CP had her full in 6th grade on MS and then was diagnosed with Osgood-Schlatter disease (growing disease, where she grew 6 inches in 3months, so her bones outgrew her ligaments and she was in a lot of pain constantly)....this lasted for two years and she has been good for the last two, however will not even attempt a full because she's afraid her knees will start hurting again (she has a buldge on her knees from the desiease). She got blasted by her coach a few weeks ago for falling at a comp and she was so upset that she wanted to quit. This was a Sunday. That night she told me "mommy, I can't quit and I do not want to loose my spot on Varsity so I am going to through my full tomorrow at tumbling, because coach ....... is so upset at me and this is the only way I will keep my spot . I listened and said ok (inside I'm going...About damn time, All this money I wasting.......). the next day when I picked her from tumbling, sure enough she threw her full quite a few times and had her instructer video tape it.....and it was a beautiful full. looks like she has been doing it for years.
So sometimes you just have to let them do it on their own, it will happen when the time is right.....

 

[cheerforeverever]

Sometimes the best thing to do when at a frustration point in tumbling is to work on other random skills to change it up a bit, such as a straddle forward roll, a flyspring, a handstand pirouette, etc. (something non pressuring....no thoughts of "I need to get this to level up and throw in the routine". It's a small new "challenge" to accomplish that makes tumbling fun again). It reminds us why we like to tumble in the first place, rather than being in a mental state of "why cant i get this?!! i hate this feeling! i don't want to be here anymore".

A tumbling skill is similar to a jigsaw puzzle: You are only able to look at it for so long, before the frustration sets in & the pieces blur together in your head. When you step away for awhile, sleep on it, and come back to it, it is much easier to see where things go again.

 

[Coach Sara]

I searched this topic and really couldn't find an answer -

CP just started cheer a year ago with very little tumble experience. She has been working on BHS and ROBHS for 6 months. Several months back had progressed on cheese mat, no spot on standing; did a ROBHS but landed on knees without spot. Then won't do any of it without a spot since (she did eat the mat on the standing once.)

I know the kids have to progress when they are ready, but I just don't know how much more money and time I can invest in privates. Coach says she is close and barely touching on spots. It's not the coach - other kids are progressing. She is frustrated, but I guess the frustration hasn't been worse than the fear.

How do I encourage CP to attack this skill? I tell her 20 seconds of courage brings greatness (she doesn't buy it). The pressure at the gym is there and I think once she believes in herself and she does the skill it will build her confidence.

All of this has been great advice- we actually have a thread I started about mental blocks. I 100% agree with taking pressure off wherever possible, as pressure definitely makes it harder for athletes to do skills that are hard/scary. Sometimes this isn't an option, but when it is, it's a good choice. Also, there are ways to work on blocks from a mental skills approach as there are usually worries/nervous feelings that accompany not going for the skill. I can understand parents being hesitant to spend more money on a challenge like this, but the company I work for offers online mental toughness training and we have cheerleader only sessions right now that are small (we just launched cheer sessions last month), so the girls are getting lots of individual attention. I know you may want to take a break on things, but if you want more info on the work I do, feel free to send a message.

 

[INeverStopCheering]

Couple things: maybe add a friend to the lesson who is in a similar point in her skill progression. Often times kids motivate each other greater than adults, the whole "I'll do it if you do it" thing. Also typically once one gets it the whole group gets really excited and that wears off. I've had team practices where 3 or 4 people finally threw their standing BHS by themselves because one did it and everyone got so excited and hyped up that everyone else wanted to do it too.

I was really afraid of tumbling, and my coach always had to ask me, "what's the worst that's going to happen if you throw this skill?" For a standing BHS really the worst that's going to happen in you bump your head on the ground, or land on your hands and knees, none of which will kill you. I always found that comforting somehow.

Also, fellow Virginian here! What program are you with, I'm sure we'll cross paths with you at some point this season!

ETA: Realized VA could stand for a lot of things other than Virginia