Coach Made Freshman "co-captain"!!!!!

[2017supermom]

My daughter is a junior in HS. She's been cheering all 3 years. Last year the coach didn't pick a Captain or Co- captain but this year its obvious this new freshman is either a relative or close friend of of hers because she's automatically become the coach's "favorite". Bragging about everything she does and making the other girls feel bad saying they're not as good as her in anything they do! Which is BS and very hurtful to the other girls.My daughter has become very depressed and uninterested in anything since the coach has started acting like a b****.Her spirit is broken and I'm upset that the coach has caused her to feel this way. Anyway she didn't have Captain try outs. She just picked her 2 favorites which of course one was the new freshman! This doesn't seem fair at all. I'm not a petty parent but a freshman just joining the squad being allowed to punish the other girls who've been cheering for years just doesn't sit well with me. Am I being too sensitive or should I speak up about this?

 

[retiredl5cheer]

I encourage you to take a hard look at both sides of the story. A few tips from the coaching POV:
1. Just because you're an upperclassman doesn't mean you're entitled to a captain position, and just because you're a freshman doesn't mean you're automatically ruled out. The athletes with the best attitudes and most leadership traits win out.
2. Teenage girls skew everything to be personal. If your CP is melting down about how hoooooorrible and meaaaaan her coach is and how she's out to get her, take a step back. Have you had issues before? Have you seen issues with your own two eyes? Is it all heresy?
3. The freshman isn't punishing the squad. That's ridiculous. She has nothing to do with this and is probably hating the fact that the other girls clearly despise her for something she has nothing to do with.
4. You sound like a petty parent. Your only two posts have been bad mouthing your coach and her coaching decisions, and you just referred to her using an offensive curse word. Not okay. Please take a step back, sit down, and allow your coach to coach. If you don't like it, I encourage you to look for another program.

 

[dat.jpp]

erm... coming from an athlete, does the freshie have good leadership? Good tumbling? does she have a long history with cheerleading? Has she cheered for rec, AS, and school?

EDIT: Does the coach, coach at a local AS gym where the freshman happens to be coached by her as well?

 

[mncheerqueen]

A lot of parents don't understand (and thats okay because I wouldn't either if I was in the same position) that captain positions aren't meant for everyone and that a lot of people will really struggle with being captain if their personality type isn't right for it.

You can certainly ask the coach what qualities she is looking for in a captain but I would avoid asking why who got captain.

Not everyone can fit the role of a captain. It takes a certain personality to really excel at being a leader teammate. If the coach choose someone so young they obviously know that person is the right fit.

 

[Pebbles49]

@2017supermom,, I must admit, my daughter will be a Sophomore this upcoming school year and was given the Co-Captain title over a lot of upperclassmen and I heard this is the first time this ever happened... However, as a Freshmen, my daughter worked her butt off taking the lead with stunting, teaching, proposing and creating new sideline cheers for the team, etc and worked without any titles with the Captains, who by the way, were Seniors. Even though my daughter was the youngest on the team, it seems the other girls and coaches respected her opinions and ideas...Sometimes, in my opinion, in some areas, Age is only a number and experience, talent can trump Age..

So, this Freshman must be coming in with a lot of experience in cheering that helps the team... If anything, why not ask your daughter to be more assertive and provide creative ideas that helps the team, if she wants the coach's eye... Most coaches will like the assertiveness and your daughter thinking about what is best for the group and not just for herself.

 

[CLynn]

Agree with the others, sometimes leadership is about more than seniority or age.

She just picked her 2 favorites which of course one was the new freshman! This doesn't seem fair at all. I'm not a petty parent but a freshman just joining the squad being allowed to punish the other girls who've been cheering for years just doesn't sit well with me.

I can imagine the older girls feeling disappointed, but without seeing them all at practice and behind the scenes it is hard to say if the coach is rewarding favorites or punishing others or truly going by what is before her. If you were to "say something" what would you be saying?

Her spirit is broken and I'm upset that the coach has caused her to feel this way.

This is the perfect opportunity for one of those lessons about how life is not about what happens to us, but how we react to it. She can rise up and use it as motivation or continue down this path...it doesn't sound as if the coach will reward sulking, so perhaps a new approach would be better?

Which is BS and very hurtful to the other girls.My daughter has become very depressed and uninterested in anything since the coach has started acting like a b****.

Well, what exactly has she done? and is that you or your daughter saying the coach is behaving that way?

 

[quitthedrama]

My daughter is a junior in HS. She's been cheering all 3 years. Last year the coach didn't pick a Captain or Co- captain but this year its obvious this new freshman is either a relative or close friend of of hers because she's automatically become the coach's "favorite". Bragging about everything she does and making the other girls feel bad saying they're not as good as her in anything they do! Which is BS and very hurtful to the other girls.My daughter has become very depressed and uninterested in anything since the coach has started acting like a b****.Her spirit is broken and I'm upset that the coach has caused her to feel this way. Anyway she didn't have Captain try outs. She just picked her 2 favorites which of course one was the new freshman! This doesn't seem fair at all. I'm not a petty parent but a freshman just joining the squad being allowed to punish the other girls who've been cheering for years just doesn't sit well with me. Am I being too sensitive or should I speak up about this?

This is your second thread complaining about your child's coach. I know plenty of freshman who were deserving of captain but the coach would only pick seniors, so the captains more often than not had awful attitudes and were on power trips and created a terrible team culture. If the athlete is deserving of captain it shouldn't matter what year they are in. Perhaps there has been poor leadership (especially if there were not captains last year) and the coach is making a statement to the upperclassmen. The fact that you actually have no idea if the freshman has a prior relationship with the coach but are willing to assume it speaks volumes.
As far as speaking up - this is not your issue. If your daughter has a problem with it, she is old enough to speak for herself. Safety concerns and money concerns should be about the only thing that a parent should be directly involved with.

 

[catlady]

Your daughter and the team will either be mature and choose to support them for the benefit of everyone and enjoy the season. Or, they will be immature and choose to be petty and miserable. "Yes" it is a choice, and it's your job to enlighten and empower your daughter on how she can choose to be happy even when things don't go her way, things aren't fair or the way she would like them to be.

 

[2017supermom]

Thanks everyone for your response @retiredl5cheer when I say the freshman co-captain is punishing the other girls. I mean she's yelling at them and making them run laps for stupid stuff while the coach is not even around. She's been given total control over the squad which has never happened before. I've never confronted the coach on anything these whole entire 3 years since my daughter has been cheering but if she's putting the girls down and saying they're not good enough that's a problem. The reason I post here is because I want nonbiased feedback on what's going on. If certain things are bothering me then I will definitely post about it and get others opinions before going to the coach but since u think I'm so petty and a whinny mom u can feel free to not respond to anymore of my post.

 

[2017supermom]

erm... coming from an athlete, does the freshie have good leadership? Good tumbling? does she have a long history with cheerleading? Has she cheered for rec, AS, and school?

EDIT: Does the coach, coach at a local AS gym where the freshman happens to be coached by her as well?

 

[2017supermom]

The co captain does not have good leadership,she has a bad attitude and yells at the girls and makes them run laps. She obviously has been either knowing the coach or is a relative of hers because of the way she interacts with her parents. Its quite obvious. As far as skills and tumbling the answer is no. She can't tumble nor does she have any extra skills. She doesn't even know all the cheers that's why I have a problem with this.

 

[2017supermom]

This is your second thread complaining about your child's coach. I know plenty of freshman who were deserving of captain but the coach would only pick seniors, so the captains more often than not had awful attitudes and were on power trips and created a terrible team culture. If the athlete is deserving of captain it shouldn't matter what year they are in. Perhaps there has been poor leadership (especially if there were not captains last year) and the coach is making a statement to the upperclassmen. The fact that you actually have no idea if the freshman has a prior relationship with the coach but are willing to assume it speaks volumes.
As far as speaking up - this is not your issue. If your daughter has a problem with it, she is old enough to speak for herself. Safety concerns and money concerns should be about the only thing that a parent should be directly involved with.

I can complain if I want to!This is a discussion forum! If u have a problem with me complaining keep scrolling and don't bother replying.

 

[2017supermom]

@2017supermom,, I must admit, my daughter will be a Sophomore this upcoming school year and was given the Co-Captain title over a lot of upperclassmen and I heard this is the first time this ever happened... However, as a Freshmen, my daughter worked her butt off taking the lead with stunting, teaching, proposing and creating new sideline cheers for the team, etc and worked without any titles with the Captains, who by the way, were Seniors. Even though my daughter was the youngest on the team, it seems the other girls and coaches respected her opinions and ideas...Sometimes, in my opinion, in some areas, Age is only a number and experience, talent can trump Age..

So, this Freshman must be coming in with a lot of experience in cheering that helps the team... If anything, why not ask your daughter to be more assertive and provide creative ideas that helps the team, if she wants the coach's eye... Most coaches will like the assertiveness and your daughter thinking about what is best for the group and not just for herself.

 

[2017supermom]

I totally understand what you're saying but my daughter is teaching the dance routine as well as cheers but the freshman co captain does nothing. Its fine that the coach picks who she wants for captain but at least make them work for the title instead of having my daughter do all the work.

 

[2017supermom]

Agree with the others, sometimes leadership is about more than seniority or age.



I can imagine the older girls feeling disappointed, but without seeing them all at practice and behind the scenes it is hard to say if the coach is rewarding favorites or punishing others or truly going by what is before her. If you were to "say something" what would you be saying?

This is the perfect opportunity for one of those lessons about how life is not about what happens to us, but how we react to it. She can rise up and use it as motivation or continue down this path...it doesn't sound as if the coach will reward sulking, so perhaps a new approach would be better?

Well, what exactly has she done? and is that you or your daughter saying the coach is behaving that way?

Agree with the others, sometimes leadership is about more than seniority or age.



I can imagine the older girls feeling disappointed, but without seeing them all at practice and behind the scenes it is hard to say if the coach is rewarding favorites or punishing others or truly going by what is before her. If you were to "say something" what would you be saying?

This is the perfect opportunity for one of those lessons about how life is not about what happens to us, but how we react to it. She can rise up and use it as motivation or continue down this path...it doesn't sound as if the coach will reward sulking, so perhaps a new approach would be better?

Well, what exactly has she done? and is that you or your daughter saying the coach is behaving that way?

Agree with the others, sometimes leadership is about more than seniority or age.



I can imagine the older girls feeling disappointed, but without seeing them all at practice and behind the scenes it is hard to say if the coach is rewarding favorites or punishing others or truly going by what is before her. If you were to "say something" what would you be saying?

This is the perfect opportunity for one of those lessons about how life is not about what happens to us, but how we react to it. She can rise up and use it as motivation or continue down this path...it doesn't sound as if the coach will reward sulking, so perhaps a new approach would be better?

Well, what exactly has she done? and is that you or your daughter saying the coach is behaving that way?