OT Ex-squad Drama??

[RS_Amie]

I need a bit of advice regarding my old University team. They're competing this weekend so their coach asked me to come up and watch to give my honest opinion about their routine. I stood up at the end of practice and ran them through both good points and weaker points of their routine. Unfortunately some members of the team, mainly freshers who don't know me, have taken it the wrong way and are talking behind my back saying I have no right to do this and that they hope I don't come to watch them compete on Sunday.
I started hearing different things about what was being said today so I text both the current team captain and the coach. The captain felt that I had been criticising her personally because I said that they had a good routine and a good coach and didn't mention her. The coach, who has known me my entire cheerleading career, wasn't happy that the team had been complaining about me and no one had thought to ask the coach why I said what I did. She had asked me to do what I did and was disappointed that a team of adults was not accepting criticism.
I'm now in two minds about going to watch them compete despite travelling a long way already. It's the first team I ever competed with and I want to go watch them and want them to win. But I feel like I won't be welcome on the bus in the morning.

Basically I wanted to rant . But also was wondering if anyone could give me any advice about how to handle this because it's blowing up on facebook and really affecting the way I feel about a group of people I once considered a family.

 

[aggie1983]

no advice at all, but I'm sorry that what should have been a rewarding experience sharing your knowledge with your old team and just getting to feel a little bit part of them again seems to have gone sour. Or it could be just a very small (and very immature) minority. Could you ask some of the older girls who were your teammates if it really is as bad as you fear? Good luck.

 

[RS_Amie]

no advice at all, but I'm sorry that what should have been a rewarding experience sharing your knowledge with your old team and just getting to feel a little bit part of them again seems to have gone sour. Or it could be just a very small (and very immature) minority. Could you ask some of the older girls who were your teammates if it really is as bad as you fear? Good luck.

One girl I was close to has mentioned it and said that she can see both sides of the story. Unfortunately the girl I've known the longest is also the captain who has been acting so negatively about it.

 

[aggie1983]

 

[cheerforeverever]

Perhaps, you could speak to them publicly as a group to address the situation as something like: " I didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings or make people upset by my criticisms if that happened, as it wasn't personal..... Understand that my goal is for you guys to be the best that you can be, as I'm really passionate about this uni and this team because I had great cheer experiences here. In order win that trophy, teams have to be the best, and that means constantly striving to improve. I give out critiques for what can strengthen the routine, so understand where i'm speaking from.....These critiques aren't meant to put anyone down or be negative. It is to make you guys so fantastic looking in the end that at competition, you kick every other uni's tails!"

Sounds overall like a misunderstanding or miscommunication between you, the coach, and the girls. Try to make them see where you're coming from and that you all have a common goal.

 

[RS_Amie]

I'm hoping that I can convey that to them tonight. The coach is going to talk to everyone about it so I will be able to tell them that I didn't mean what I said in a negative way. It just seems like the captain and the committee don't want them to think that competition is going to be that tough. A lot of them are new and haven't competed yet. I remember being in their position four years ago and no one told us where we were going wrong and only praised us so when we went to a comp we got our arses handed to us and we couldn't understand why.

I think I might just care about cheerleading waaay more than they do.