For The Single Cheer Moms

Discussion in 'Cheer Newbies' started by hercheermomma, Aug 28, 2013.

  1. hercheermomma

    hercheermomma I Fierce Board instead of work/study

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    I have been reading here for a couple years, posting occasionally but I made a new account due to the nature of my question. I have even re-read the rules :)

    Anyway. I am about to be going through a divorce. My daughter has been doing allstars for 6 years, she is on a senior level 4. Her entire cheer career has always centered on making it to level 5, and going to and winning Worlds. She has 2 years left, 3 if she super seniored. She's amazing at what she does, and it's her whole life. I can not put into words how much it would kill me to take this away from her, when she is so close to her goals, especially when the gym and her team is what will help her through the break up of her family. Her team means everything to her.


    Her gym is the best in the area. Her coach...I can't say enough about him. He's an awesome coach and a good person I admire. She needs him. We go to mostly local comps, but we go to Cheersport and will go to NCA this year. She has been dying to go to NCA for years.

    I know some of you all here are single moms, and I just want to ask, how do you manage it? Tips or advice?

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  2. eliteathletics

    eliteathletics I make my own voiceovers

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    Talk to the gym owner maybe your daughter can work off her tuition or maybe you can work the front desk to help out. There are other cost saving ways but can be hard, cut out on other acticvities, send her alone to comps with another family, sharing rooms and travel cost. Dont eat out at competitions bring food with you. I know there is a thread about saving money at competitions. The biggest thing is sponsorships from local businesses or ask family to give her money for holidays and apply towards her tuition. Regardless of which method you choose I hope you can make it work out for her.
     
  3. SarahS

    SarahS Slow your roll, Sparkle.

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    Get thee to the parent section STAT. There's a thread for single moms :) Welcome!

    @SharkDad - can you help?
     
  4. abbyandy9

    abbyandy9 I'm an announcer on CBS for Worlds (or should be)

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    I was a struggling single parent (still am) every one of my daughter's 12 years doing cheer. Sometimes I wonder how I was able to make that happen for her but I made it a priority. I worked two jobs, drove a car I owned and didn't have to make payments on, and haven't had a vacation that didn't have to do with cheer in 12 years. When people would ask why I worked two jobs I would say I have a full-time job and then my job to pay for cheer. No lie. It's a struggle but I made it a priority early on and with a little hard work and vast amounts of luck, we made it work. Good luck to you!


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  5. onecheermom

    onecheermom When all else fails.... I shimmy

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    My best advice is discuss cheer and competitions and the expenses often during the divorce (After a while even the Judge will say … except for Cheer). If possible make sure you have documentation that she has been active in this sport for X amount of years. Make sure in the parenting plan that practice and competitions are listed and how parenting time will work around these two things (i.e. practice and competitions will take precedence over visitations with other parent). Since CP has been involved in All Star cheer for 6+ years this is not a new activity and hopefully some of the expenses should also be included for the other parent to be responsible for (yes I know this is wishful thinking. My ex pays a whopping $34 per month per child for All Star Cheer related expenses:rolleyes:). It will most likely be a struggle and just like @abbyandy9 I haven’t had a vacation for over 5+ years, I have Cheercations instead (SO. TIRED. OF. DISNEY :banghead:). When we go to big competitions I room with other parents, share expenses, find the nearest grocery store to buy food, etc to make ends meet. Also check with the gym, our gym for example has a wonderful fund raising program and some parents can pay for most of their season by fund raising. Just remember you CAN do this..
     
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2013
  6. abbyandy9

    abbyandy9 I'm an announcer on CBS for Worlds (or should be)

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    Someone once told me that when you think about it, your child is only in your home for a very small portion of their life. In the grand scheme of things it wasn't too much to sacrifice to make sure my daughter was happy, healthy, plus we made some great memories too! So yes I agree, you can do it!


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  7. LCCcheermom26

    LCCcheermom26 I'm new. Don't Hurt Me

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    I haven't received any child support in years so I definitely understand your worry. I used to work part-time at the gym to help off-set costs. However, in April, it was announced that the cheer program was moving to another facility. We decided to go with the coaches we have loved and trusted for 6 years. I lost approximately $400/month, which of course hurt the pocketbook. My thought has always been that I didn't want my divorce to hurt my child any more than absolutely necessary. And I didn't want to have to take something away from her that she loves. In addition, she has learned teamwork, committment and of course she gets plenty of exercise :)

    Some of the changes we have made included cutting down the type of cable service we have, eating in more often, taking food to competitions whenever possible, always share a room for overnight stays and carpool as much as possible. We also participate in as many fundraisers as we can. Hope all of the tips everyone has shared will help you.
     
  8. hercheermomma

    hercheermomma I Fierce Board instead of work/study

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    First of all, thank you to everyone for the advice. At our gym, some of the level 5s work to earn their way, so that may be a possibility for her. I already work overtime to pay for cheer now, and I get a team mom discount on her tuition. Right now I just want to get through this year and I'll worry about next year when we get there. She already knows when she makes level 5 she will have to help contribute, whether her dad and I stayed together or not.

    I know you all "get it" and that's why I posted this here. Sometimes I wish she wasn't as good at cheer as she is or she didn't love it so much and work so hard, it wouldn't be so hard to stop. If she hadn't come so far, or if her team wasn't the close family they are. She's so close to her goals...and to take it now, after everything...I can't.

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  9. abbyandy9

    abbyandy9 I'm an announcer on CBS for Worlds (or should be)

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    Then you will find a way! Good luck to you (and her)!


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  10. SharkDad

    SharkDad Most Positive, Best Parent '12 Staff Member National Champion

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    I know you don't really wish she wasn't so good. In the end part of the joy for us as parents is watching the success of our kids or picking them up and helping them through failures.

    If anyone in this thread, or any other parents want access to the Parent Section, please PM me. You may find it easier to share some personal situations in a less open forum.
     
  11. Cheer Dad

    Cheer Dad Slow your roll, Sparkle.

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    Good luck with it @hercheermomma. Your daughter has an amazing parent standing behind her.
     
  12. hercheermomma

    hercheermomma I Fierce Board instead of work/study

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    You're right Shark Dad, I don't *really* wish that. I wish I had been more like her when I was her age :)

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  13. Dionne

    Dionne I'm new. Don't Hurt Me

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    I am a single mom with 2 kids on the team- I honestly have extra taken out of my check for taxes then use my tax return to pay for the year. It has been working pretty well, especially since we compete most in Feb-April and then if I do my taxes really fast in beginning of Feb I also have extra funds for competitions and travel

    Dionne
     
  14. WowBows

    WowBows

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    I am also a single cheer mom and it can be very hard sometimes trying to keep your child doing something that she really loves. Cheer has been a huge outlet for my daughter and she truly depends on her teammate for support. I would tend to agree with the other posts and make sure you bring it up in court but in the mean time have a sit down with the gym manager or even the owner and see what can be worked out.
     
  15. AngelsMum24

    AngelsMum24 Best Flyer.. on a parent team

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    Perhaps you and her father can come to an agreement that he will continue to pay half her cheer tuition/comp fees. Better yet, get it as part of the custody agreement. She is still his daughter and her quality of life should remain the same regardless if you and he are still married.