All-Star How Much Do Coaches Want To Know?

[SL&AM]

I debated whether to post this in the general forum or the parent forum, but I figure this gives me the best access to coaches. And I apologize, it's not entirely all-star related, but it is cheer related.

While older is on a cheer moratorium, my younger daughter is still cheering. She is going to spend this summer on the local rec team and has asked about doing a half-season team when it's over. She really loves cheer and is at a perfect age for it to still kinda be low key stress. She's 7, so she's a Mighty-Mighty and Mini.

While she is a bright, funny and loving little girl she also has high functioning Autism (Asperger's if it still existed). She is moderately quirky, is a huge internal thinker, but with a massive amount of intervention in and out of school since she was 3; the average person who meets her would never know. Her major issue used to be social, but she's developed mostly appropriate coping mechanisms to get through most situations. She's still 7 though and is prone to meltdowns and fits of whining. Perhaps a little stronger than her peers, but the frequency isn't there anymore.

When we moved to Florida she went straight to a special need dance team after being removed from a dance class because she couldn't cope. She was 4, turning 5 the next month. She did that for one year before moving to a Tiny 1 cheerleader; she had her moments, but so did all of the kids and I wouldn't necessarily say she was any better or any worse than the rest of the other kids.

We have a meet and greet with her new coaches soon and while I'm used to meeting new teachers and having to info dump a mountain of information, I'm not sure I want to do that to her coaches. I'm considering letting her just be her and seeing how that goes instead. When she did dance she was pegged as SN and when she switched they already knew everything so that label was there and I'm not sure it was to her service. Our expectations for her are they she have a successful and independent life in adulthood, graduate from high school with a standard diploma...etc, and I fear she's getting to an age where she'll play the system if she thinks she can get away with more just because she has a label. I've watched adults, in her school setting, bend to her will and that is literally the last thing we want---in school or in sports. If you were me, what would you do?

Thoughts or experiences? Feel free to PM me if you'd rather not share openly.

 

[retiredl5cheer]

So much to say and no will to type... I'm posting here so that I remember to come back and comment later.

 

[Gnarly_Karli]

As a coach I would definitely want to be informed. Every kid is different, and respond better to different coaching styles. Being aware of her situation would then gear me to change my coaching style to better serve your athlete.

ETA- not in a way of favoritism or changing the rules for her. Just coaching her in a way that I know she would be able to respond better to.

 

[ScottyB]

I debated whether to post this in the general forum or the parent forum, but I figure this gives me the best access to coaches. And I apologize, it's not entirely all-star related, but it is cheer related.

While older is on a cheer moratorium, my younger daughter is still cheering. She is going to spend this summer on the local rec team and has asked about doing a half-season team when it's over. She really loves cheer and is at a perfect age for it to still kinda be low key stress. She's 7, so she's a Mighty-Mighty and Mini.

While she is a bright, funny and loving little girl she also has high functioning Autism (Asperger's if it still existed). She is moderately quirky, is a huge internal thinker, but with a massive amount of intervention in and out of school since she was 3; the average person who meets her would never know. Her major issue used to be social, but she's developed mostly appropriate coping mechanisms to get through most situations. She's still 7 though and is prone to meltdowns and fits of whining. Perhaps a little stronger than her peers, but the frequency isn't there anymore.

When we moved to Florida she went straight to a special need dance team after being removed from a dance class because she couldn't cope. She was 4, turning 5 the next month. She did that for one year before moving to a Tiny 1 cheerleader; she had her moments, but so did all of the kids and I wouldn't necessarily say she was any better or any worse than the rest of the other kids.

We have a meet and greet with her new coaches soon and while I'm used to meeting new teachers and having to info dump a mountain of information, I'm not sure I want to do that to her coaches. I'm considering letting her just be her and seeing how that goes instead. When she did dance she was pegged as SN and when she switched they already knew everything so that label was there and I'm not sure it was to her service. Our expectations for her are they she have a successful and independent life in adulthood, graduate from high school with a standard diploma...etc, and I fear she's getting to an age where she'll play the system if she thinks she can get away with more just because she has a label. I've watched adults, in her school setting, bend to her will and that is literally the last thing we want---in school or in sports. If you were me, what would you do?

Thoughts or experiences? Feel free to PM me if you'd rather not share openly.

I'd say mention it but keep it brief and let the coach know that you're there to support both them as a coach and your daughter.
Don't go into the past stuff or specifics in her behavior, just let them know that she high functioning and that she is excited to cheer (because she is!!).

Just my two cents! I can't imagine the stress this puts on you, especially when all you wanna do is get your kid out there having some fun!

 

[FTSP]

I'd say mention it but keep it brief and let the coach know that you're there to support both them as a coach and your daughter.
Don't go into the past stuff or specifics in her behavior, just let them know that she high functioning and that she is excited to cheer (because she is!!).

Just my two cents! I can't imagine the stress this puts on you, especially when all you wanna do is get your kid out there having some fun!

This is what I would want as a coach and have done as a parent


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[XtremeWpg]

I coached minis this year. We have one child with a diagnosed anxiety issue and had experienced bullying in school as a result. The parents didn't tell us and we were left frustrated with the athlete because of her behaviour and reactions. Had we known, we could have made the adjustment to the social aspects much easier. We expected her to react the way a "normal" (I hate using the word normal, but couldn't think of anything better) 7 year old would, and she just wasn't capable.

Once the parents did tell us, we were able to adjust our approach to her feelings and reactions. She became much happier, outgoing and communicative. She began to thrive when we were able to react appropriately.

I would absolutely have a conversation with the coaches. It can change a lot of things!

 

[Teacher Mom]

I debated whether to post this in the general forum or the parent forum, but I figure this gives me the best access to coaches. And I apologize, it's not entirely all-star related, but it is cheer related.

While older is on a cheer moratorium, my younger daughter is still cheering. She is going to spend this summer on the local rec team and has asked about doing a half-season team when it's over. She really loves cheer and is at a perfect age for it to still kinda be low key stress. She's 7, so she's a Mighty-Mighty and Mini.

While she is a bright, funny and loving little girl she also has high functioning Autism (Asperger's if it still existed). She is moderately quirky, is a huge internal thinker, but with a massive amount of intervention in and out of school since she was 3; the average person who meets her would never know. Her major issue used to be social, but she's developed mostly appropriate coping mechanisms to get through most situations. She's still 7 though and is prone to meltdowns and fits of whining. Perhaps a little stronger than her peers, but the frequency isn't there anymore.

When we moved to Florida she went straight to a special need dance team after being removed from a dance class because she couldn't cope. She was 4, turning 5 the next month. She did that for one year before moving to a Tiny 1 cheerleader; she had her moments, but so did all of the kids and I wouldn't necessarily say she was any better or any worse than the rest of the other kids.

We have a meet and greet with her new coaches soon and while I'm used to meeting new teachers and having to info dump a mountain of information, I'm not sure I want to do that to her coaches. I'm considering letting her just be her and seeing how that goes instead. When she did dance she was pegged as SN and when she switched they already knew everything so that label was there and I'm not sure it was to her service. Our expectations for her are they she have a successful and independent life in adulthood, graduate from high school with a standard diploma...etc, and I fear she's getting to an age where she'll play the system if she thinks she can get away with more just because she has a label. I've watched adults, in her school setting, bend to her will and that is literally the last thing we want---in school or in sports. If you were me, what would you do?

Thoughts or experiences? Feel free to PM me if you'd rather not share openly.

My 16 yo has autism (he appears high functioning but his IQ is low). I still feel like I need to explain his diagnosis to everyone I meet. I think it is unfair to the coaches not to tell them. They should be told. I think if you explain it in terms of anxiety and behaviors - how she processes the world, it would be helpful. If you know antecedents that make certain behavior occurs, that would be beneficial.
I have to be honest with you, though. If you tell them, and the coaches didn't want to know, I'd be concerned. Good luck!

 

[dat.jpp]

tbh... If I tell some of my teammates that I have Aspergers, I'm afraid they'll see me differently?

 

[tumbleyoda]

As a coach, I definitely want to know. However I can best serve hem and help them to find success in this area of their life in sports, I want to be able to provide my best. That is impossible without knowledge of what I am facing. In all our our competitive programs we have quite a few with Autism, Aspergers, ADHD, PDHD, PDD, OCD, etc. All diagnosed through proper testing. Once we know we can adjust what we do and work with the parents to make sure they are included. This information is always treated as confidential so their teammates and other parents in the gym would never know unless the parent or athlete themselves told it.

My daughter and I also are diagnosed with Aspergers so that I feel gives me a bit of a heads up in dealing with it and seeing symptoms even if parents are not as willing to share. I see it and deal with everyday.

 

[omgitssydthekid]

Echoing what everyone else has said, but definitely tell them so they can adjust their coaching style for her needs.

I once had a similar situation with a child in a tumbling class I was coaching. I got pretty frustrated with her, until her mom pulled me aside after the tumbling class to fill me in. It was definitely something I wish I had known about beforehand.


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[Cheers4frenchtoast]

As a former coach, I would say talk to the coaches about it. I have a 7 year old nephew with Aspergers (he is also very high functioning and incredibly bright) and I know it's different with everyone, but I think that the coach being in the know would help them be more understanding and know how to react if there is some kind of meltdown or any other issue. Definitely tell them that you would very much like her to grow up to be independent and that she just needs a little help occasionally along the way. Plus, if she is anything like my nephew and she loves cheer she'll end up being super focused at practices (whatever my nephew is fixated on he is fully devoted to it 500%).

@dat.jpp it is 100% your choice whether or not you want to tell your teammates about your condition and you have every right to keep it to yourself if you would like to. You don't have to tell them if you do not want to! It is your choice and if you do want to tell them, you have the support of so many people and I am willing to bet that support will include your teammates as well

 

[Teacher Mom]

tbh... If I tell some of my teammates that I have Aspergers, I'm afraid they'll see me differently?

If they treat you differently, they are not your friends. But it is up to you to tell them. You don't have to. Your coaches must maintain confidentiality so they can't disclose that information to anyone.

 

[CookieMomster]

I'm also a parent of a child with ASD. DD1 is high functioning and I always let people such as coaches, teachers, camp, etc. I give them some insight and some strategies that work with her. Shes the sweetest kid and never a behaviour concern but she does have anxiety that she internalizes, dyslexia and a speech delay and they will notice more than the ASD. I view it as being proactive.

As for telling her peers, I leave that for her to decide if she wants to share it.

As a parent my role is to anticipate things that could happen and address them before they become an issue. I've worked with kids for over 25yrs and always appreciated when parents gave me some insight ahead of time. It never changed my view of the child but it did help me know how to work with each child and what worked best for the. It also helped to avoid possible stress trigger or anxiety. What approach may work for one child may not work another child.

If anything I often get "are you sure?", "she doesn't act like she has ASD", etc. Like we'd make that up.

 

[TNcheermom]

One of my CP's is very high functioning ASD and we're starting to do less info dumps of behaviors and calming strategies and instead more of just seeing how things play out. I would however let the coaches know and tell them its more of a need to know basis just so if a situation arises they already have the tidbit of background info. Definitely let them know that you don't think there will be a problem, but should there be on you are available to work with them through it.

 

[Quotation]

My 16 yo has autism (he appears high functioning but his IQ is low). I still feel like I need to explain his diagnosis to everyone I meet. I think it is unfair to the coaches not to tell them. They should be told. I think if you explain it in terms of anxiety and behaviors - how she processes the world, it would be helpful. If you know antecedents that make certain behavior occurs, that would be beneficial.
I have to be honest with you, though. If you tell them, and the coaches didn't want to know, I'd be concerned. Good luck!

This is the most important thing for a coach to know! It helps to avoid potentially stressful, embarrassing, or triggering situations for the child. I need to know if there are certain things that I shouldn't do or say around a kid, or things that their teammates might do that I should watch out for. it makes a better experience for everyone involved.

ETA: this applies for mental illnesses too!!! if you have depression, anxiety, OCD, schizophrenia, PTSD, anything, tell your coaches!