Issues Between Two Moms On The Team Affected The Entire Team

Discussion in 'Allstar Cheerleading' started by kewpiekid, Mar 11, 2019.

  1. kewpiekid

    kewpiekid I'm new. Don't Hurt Me

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    Mostly just a vent here. Two moms on our team had a major blowup over the weekend at our competition and it filtered down to the girls. Long story short, they were anxious and uncomfortable Sunday morning and it was obvious. We normally all get ready together and moms chose to do small groups in certain of the hotel rooms. Girls felt excluded. There was tension at warm-ups, and in the end, there performance was the worst it has been all season :( It really sucks. This is a Youth team so it was young girls trying to process and make sense of their mother's issues. Those of us who were not involved are crushed, angry, and mostly just heartbroken for our girls, who worked so hard, spent a LOT of money on this away competition, etc. Really trying to figure out how we as a team can repair the damage and move forward. I know both moms involved were spoken to by the gym owners, and I am hopeful the coach will speak with the girls as a group at their next practice. Just feeling sad right now- until this point, this team had such great comraderie and sportsmanship.

     
  2. OldskoolKYcheercoach

    OldskoolKYcheercoach I think I can mix Cheer Music

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    If you really want to ruin good things in youth activities, just get a few parents involved.

    If the girls have been and continue to be ok with each other, that’s all that matters. Some parents can’t handle the pressures of competition as well as their kids do. We had our only bad performance this year at our biggest competition, and the next day I found out one of our parents got mouthy with some of the others.

    The kids are still homies, and the parents will eventually forgive and move on.
     
  3. SharkDad

    SharkDad Most Positive, Best Parent '12 Staff Member National Champion

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    It’s unfortunate that some parents forget that this is their child’s sport, not theirs. There is a significant investment and all parents care about their CPs triumphs and challenges, but they don’t realize they are sabotaging their CPs experience and progression through negative behavior.

    Parents should really only focus on 3 statements to their children if they want them to grow into confident and positive athletes:

    “I love you”

    “How was practice/competition/event?”

    “What do you want to eat?”
     
  4. OldskoolKYcheercoach

    OldskoolKYcheercoach I think I can mix Cheer Music

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    “I love watching your team perform.”
     
  5. MomMomMamaMom

    MomMomMamaMom I'm an announcer on CBS for Worlds (or should be)

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    You forgot “how much does it cost?”

    But I so agree. I think that we as parents often confuse the substantial investment we make as a family for something more than it is... an investment in our child.

    But to be fair, this seems to take a few years to learn.
     
  6. SharkDad

    SharkDad Most Positive, Best Parent '12 Staff Member National Champion

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    When the USASF cared enough to have a Parent Action Committee we used to teach it every season.
     
  7. oncecoolcoachnowmom

    oncecoolcoachnowmom Bestest Newbie '14

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    I am not sure that people realize that interacting and cliquing up with other parents is not a requirement of your child's involvement in youth sports.

    You are under no obligation to socialize with women simply because your children are on the same team.
     
  8. SharkDad

    SharkDad Most Positive, Best Parent '12 Staff Member National Champion

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    What about dads?
     
  9. oncecoolcoachnowmom

    oncecoolcoachnowmom Bestest Newbie '14

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    Sorry! Not intending to be sexist! Dads are also under no obligation but honestly in my time coaching HS I had zero problem dads.
     
  10. Sterling von Shimmer

    Sterling von Shimmer I Fierce Board instead of work/study

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    I honestly think dads are scared of us and that’s why. I know my dad is.
     
  11. OldskoolKYcheercoach

    OldskoolKYcheercoach I think I can mix Cheer Music

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    MOST dads grew up in real sports where there was a bench and you didn’t get to start every game. Your craziest cheer moms are the ones that only know cheer/dance and remember how it was in 1985 when their big hair and backhand spring were the poop.
     
  12. quietmom

    quietmom Slow your roll, Sparkle.

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    There are some psycho football, basketball, hockey, swim, and baseball dads. Don't give them too much credit. Some even get so violent they bring out the guns.
     
  13. oncecoolcoachnowmom

    oncecoolcoachnowmom Bestest Newbie '14

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    I honestly think most of my athlete's dads just plain did not know the sport. Or were not necessarily around enough to get to know it. Or to get to know any of the other parents. Gender roles dictate that moms do all the drop off, wrangling, coordinating of activities so many of my dads were there for BIG THINGS but not as active in the day-to-day, rules, scoresheets, bows, knowing other parents, etc. (Disclaimer: I do not agree with gender roles but most dads fell into this category.) Not saying that they did not care, because they did, but because they did not know the sport and were really only at select games, comps, senior nights, etc. they were supportive, but not over-involved.

    My typical HS cheer dad basically:

    *came to the games he could come to based on work schedule.
    *clapped
    *said "wow good job on that flip thing."
    *said "wow first place good job."
    *said "wow good halftime show honey."
    *walked athlete out on senior night or as part of homecoming.
    *drove athlete/provided money.
    *said "wow so proud of you honey" at end of season banquet.

    And really that is fine/great. You need not be overly involved, know every single thing that is going on, or know every single parent for your kid to feel supported.

    Dads are perfectly capable of getting WAY overinvolved in other things (ex: our youth football league had a dad who basically tried to call extra team practices on weekends without the coaches and commissioners knowing.) Cheer is usually not one of them.
     
  14. SharkDad

    SharkDad Most Positive, Best Parent '12 Staff Member National Champion

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    Then there are the dads that I knew who were like this:
     
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  15. CLynn

    CLynn I named my pet Sir Fierce-a-lot

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    Since we are talking cheer dads, after 6 years, this is what I get from my husband when watching our "competition" at NCA: these are real texts
    - ok, team A was all messed up. at least it seemed messed up but might have been on purpose
    -one of the thousand cheer athletics teams hit
    -Team b just melted on the mat
    -yet another cheer athletics team

    Silence for a while....
    Name is in at sports bar....meet in 45 minutes...
     
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