Mental Block

[BBinNCsMom]

Hi everyone.! I'm hoping for some advice. My daughter is 10 and has had her backhand spring series for 2 years. She's been struggling on and off for a little over a year with her confidence in her tucks. When she does them they are gorgeous and high. She's never fallen or hurt herself doing them. (Running tuck, running band handspring tuck). This Thursday night she had a tumble class and refused to throw her tuck even with a spot standing there. Then Friday night at her tumble class, she refused to throw even a round off back handspring. I'm at a loss when the night before she was throwing front walkover, round off backhand spring stepout turn round off back handspring. She can't tell me what her issue is. She was crying Friday night.

She just says she doesn't know. I asked her if she doesn't want to do cheer anymore. She says she does. I even told her she could get cut from her team (which is very true) and that didn't encourage her to throw anything. I literally watched her do round offs all night. I know the other moms thought I was so mean sending her back out to keep trying when she was crying but I didn't think she should just give up. I hate not knowing how to help her.

Help! Thanks in advance!


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[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

I mean this in the nicest way possible.

Parents help the most by taking a step back.

I can tell you what doesn't help mental blocks:

*Telling your kid they're going to get cut. (they know!)
*Forcing them to keep trying when they are clearly just not doing it.
*Saying "just throw it!"

Watching a kid go through a block is HARD. Sometimes, you don't even know what is causing it (puberty, growth, changes in height, nerves, falls, who knows?)

No kid has ever unblocked because their parent kept telling them to throw it. Or told them they may lose their spot. You get the idea.

You have to sit back and just BE THERE. Your child needs you to encourage her. Not push, but genuinely believe in her and let her work through this at her own pace.

Go to her privates and practices, say "good job" or "I believe in you." Stop asking "Did you throw it?" Just BE THERE for her when she eventually does. Let her work at her own pace. If she's crying and upset, let her be done. Heck, change the subject and don't even talk about cheer at ALL if it is upsetting her.

That's what she needs right now.

 

[dawgshow]

I mean this in the nicest way possible.

Parents help the most by taking a step back.

I can tell you what doesn't help mental blocks:

*Telling your kid they're going to get cut. (they know!)
*Forcing them to keep trying when they are clearly just not doing it.
*Saying "just throw it!"

Watching a kid go through a block is HARD. Sometimes, you don't even know what is causing it (puberty, growth, changes in height, nerves, falls, what knows?)

No kid has ever unblocked because their parent kept telling them to throw it. Or told them they may lose their sport. You get the idea.

You have to sit back and just BE THERE. Your child needs you to encourage her. Not push, but genuinely believe in her and let her work through this at her own pace.

Go to her privates and practices, say "good job" or "I believe in you." Stop asking "Did you throw it?" Just BE THERE for her when she eventually does. Let her work at her own pace. If she's crying and upset, let her be done.

That's what she needs right now.

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. I wish someone had been this blunt with me when CP blocked 3 YEARS ago. Be there. Tell her love her, that it's ok, and change the subject. Otherwise, be ready for the possibility of her never tumbling again. You have to remember that in the great scheme of things, it's just cheer.

 

[lifeoftheparty]

I mean this in the nicest way possible.

Parents help the most by taking a step back.

I can tell you what doesn't help mental blocks:

*Telling your kid they're going to get cut. (they know!)
*Forcing them to keep trying when they are clearly just not doing it.
*Saying "just throw it!"

Watching a kid go through a block is HARD. Sometimes, you don't even know what is causing it (puberty, growth, changes in height, nerves, falls, who knows?)

No kid has ever unblocked because their parent kept telling them to throw it. Or told them they may lose their sport. You get the idea.

You have to sit back and just BE THERE. Your child needs you to encourage her. Not push, but genuinely believe in her and let her work through this at her own pace.

Go to her privates and practices, say "good job" or "I believe in you." Stop asking "Did you throw it?" Just BE THERE for her when she eventually does. Let her work at her own pace. If she's crying and upset, let her be done. Heck, change the subject and don't even talk about cheer at ALL if it is upsetting her.

That's what she needs right now.

Best Advice. CP fought through a huge block. She began to breakthrough once I BACKED OFF COMPLETELY. I will never again push her and let her progress at her own pace. The child going through it is beating themselves up enough already.

 

[BBinNCsMom]

Thank you all. I totally hear you.

I guess my next question is, should I enroll her in privates or is that too much at this point. Should I just let it go?


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[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

I'd let her take the lead on that. Schedule them if she asks, but don't push the issue.

 

[seein_starz]

Thank you all. I totally hear you.

I guess my next question is, should I enroll her in privates or is that too much at this point. Should I just let it go?


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When I had my mental block, my mom put me in an extra private a week, on top of 3 practices and 2 tumbling classes. I found that once I stopped doing the privates, it got a lot easier for me. For me, just thinking about throwing the skill stressed me out incredibly and I knew I could do it but I could just never get over the stress. So try to help her relax before practice it might help

 

[Boughetto]

I mean this in the nicest way possible.

Parents help the most by taking a step back.

I can tell you what doesn't help mental blocks:

*Telling your kid they're going to get cut. (they know!)
*Forcing them to keep trying when they are clearly just not doing it.
*Saying "just throw it!"

Watching a kid go through a block is HARD. Sometimes, you don't even know what is causing it (puberty, growth, changes in height, nerves, falls, who knows?)

No kid has ever unblocked because their parent kept telling them to throw it. Or told them they may lose their spot. You get the idea.

You have to sit back and just BE THERE. Your child needs you to encourage her. Not push, but genuinely believe in her and let her work through this at her own pace.

Go to her privates and practices, say "good job" or "I believe in you." Stop asking "Did you throw it?" Just BE THERE for her when she eventually does. Let her work at her own pace. If she's crying and upset, let her be done. Heck, change the subject and don't even talk about cheer at ALL if it is upsetting her.

That's what she needs right now.

WOW! this totally hit home for me!!! My cp is on a level 4 team and just in a matter of a week she went from throwing level 4 skills to throwing only level 3 skills with the exception of her running level 4 skills. I'm so guilty of all the things @oncecoolcoachnowmom says not to do! I'm so glad I read this post and as of today I'm taking a step back to let my cp work through this and just be there to support her.

 

[Carriejoe]

Thank you all. I totally hear you.

I guess my next question is, should I enroll her in privates or is that too much at this point. Should I just let it go?


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My CP had a fall the week after her AMAZING tryout and blocked on EVERYTHING that had a BHS in it. I added one extra private a week but always gave her the final say on the booking and who it was with. This way she felt in control.

Fast forward to 2 months post fall, she's back to doing her level 3 skills and some of her level 4 skills. Standing is easier to get back for her but she's working on her running. It is certainly a slow process but it needs to be at the athlete's pace.

 

[Boughetto]

My CP had a fall the week after her AMAZING tryout and blocked on EVERYTHING that had a BHS in it. I added one extra private a week but always gave her the final say on the booking and who it was with. This way she felt in control.

Fast forward to 2 months post fall, she's back to doing her level 3 skills and some of her level 4 skills. Standing is easier to get back for her but she's working on her running. It is certainly a slow process but it needs to be at the athlete's pace.

Good job for your CP!! I'm looking forward to my CP getting her standing skills back. Her running is fine but standing is where she is having her difficulty.

 

[BBinNCsMom]

Thanks everyone. CP says she would like some privates. We are going to try that. She did her standing tumbling last night at practice so that was encouraging.


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[Carriejoe]

Good job for your CP!! I'm looking forward to my CP getting her standing skills back. Her running is fine but standing is where she is having her difficulty.

Thank you!

 

[Coach Sara]

All great thoughts. I work with cheerleaders to help them get through blocks and since this seems to have just started, I think others are on the right track to let her take the lead- ask her what she needs, what would help, and what she would like for you to do. Chances are she was feeling pressure as she was progressing skills and this can kick off a block. Adding more pressure makes the issue worse typically so as others have said, backing off and being the supportive mom while allowing her to take the lead are good first steps. She likely needs to build her confidence back up.

 

[lifeoftheparty]

All great thoughts. I work with cheerleaders to help them get through blocks and since this seems to have just started, I think others are on the right track to let her take the lead- ask her what she needs, what would help, and what she would like for you to do. Chances are she was feeling pressure as she was progressing skills and this can kick off a block. Adding more pressure makes the issue worse typically so as others have said, backing off and being the supportive mom while allowing her to take the lead are good first steps. She likely needs to build her confidence back up.

My CP worked with Coach Sara as well and it helped tremendously.

 

[Mamarazzi]

Thanks everyone. CP says she would like some privates. We are going to try that. She did her standing tumbling last night at practice so that was encouraging.


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Your Susie will always put more pressure on herself than you possibly could.

Your jobs are: 1. pay 2. be the calm, rational, supportive and loving one. Dippin Dots optional.

She's not getting cut. And honestly, shame on you for telling her that. She's 10 and on a Youth team. I could understand it if she was being lazy, but that's clearly not the issue.

Take a gym break. Leave during her practices, privates, and give yourself and Susie a break.