Now An Ex-cheer Mom

Discussion in 'Allstar Cheerleading' started by DonnaM, Aug 16, 2019.

  1. DonnaM

    DonnaM I Fierce Board instead of work/study

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2017
    Messages:
    388
    Shimmys Received:
    376
    I am a(n)...:
    Parent
    At least for now. After struggling with knee pain since about UCA last year, and three other doctors as it increasingly got worse dismissing it as growth related, no big deal, CP saw the sports chiropractor that works with the University cheer and pom teams, and he definitely doesn't think it is no big deal. Apparently he's growth spurt has pulled her muscles and tendons so tight that her knee is actually dislocating and relocating slightly, and as a result, she has a lot of pain. She's out for two months to rehab and then reevaluate. After talking to her coaches and the athletic director, they released her from her contract for this season. She's welcome to walk back on (and, as the athletic director put it, we have a big credit on the books when she is ready to start taking classes again, so she can come and work back up to it when she is ready), but for this season, she's out of cheer. She will be doing therapy several times a week, and will be doing low impact activities at the city rec center, like swimming. They will work with a doctor's recommendation.

    She's depressed, but she also seems validated-she has been struggling emotionally as it got harder physically becsuse she just can't do what she could do even a few months ago. And she hates quitting anything. But having her coaches tell her that this is what she needs to do helps a lot. And chronic knee pain at 14 isn't a good thing.

    After 10 years as a cheer mom, I think I feel as confused and adrift as she does. I knew she would be leaving the sport eventually, and I looked forward to the days of less driving and waiting, but I hadn't expected it to come so soon.

     
  2. 123jump4!

    123jump4! I have my own cheer message board

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2014
    Messages:
    2,327
    Shimmys Received:
    2,233
    Location:
    GA
    I am a(n)...:
    Parent
    That must be hard getting used to, for both of you! :(

    Hope her knees get better soon. That's the most important thing! Whether she cheers again or not is secondary but hopefully she will.
     
  3. Sterling von Shimmer

    Sterling von Shimmer I named my pet Sir Fierce-a-lot

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2017
    Messages:
    742
    Shimmys Received:
    445
    I am a(n)...:
    Coach
    Boooo I’m so sorry :(

    But this is what’s best for her in the long run. From what you’ve told us, it sounds like she’s got a great career ahead of her. Better to have her sit out for two months instead of dealing with chronic pain for the rest of her life. I know it can be hard for kids to think ahead in those terms — I didn’t even like skipping the gym for a day or two when I had the flu back in my day — but she’ll be better for it in the long run.
     
  4. quietmom

    quietmom Slow your roll, Sparkle.

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2012
    Messages:
    1,392
    Shimmys Received:
    5,140
    Location:
    Far far away
    Twitter:
    exhaustedmom79
    I am a(n)...:
    Parent
    Take some of the money you are now saving due to being retired, and go do something fun for her and you and the rest of your family!
     
  5. kewpiekid

    kewpiekid I'm new. Don't Hurt Me

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2019
    Messages:
    69
    Shimmys Received:
    11
    I am a(n)...:
    Parent
    That must be really hard, but I am also glad they are taking this seriously. Maybe the two of you can take a special trip someplace.
     
  6. SL&AM

    SL&AM Slow your roll, Sparkle.

    Joined:
    May 13, 2014
    Messages:
    7,015
    Shimmys Received:
    11,470
    Location:
    At the gym
    I am a(n)...:
    Parent
    (((HUGS))) to both of you! I was nowhere near those years when we walked away and it was definitely different---I was so used to our schedule being set by cheer, that when it wasn't, it was like "What do I do now?" I know you'll find something in time though and I hope her knee gets the rest it needed.
     
  7. DonnaM

    DonnaM I Fierce Board instead of work/study

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2017
    Messages:
    388
    Shimmys Received:
    376
    I am a(n)...:
    Parent
    She’s struggling a bit. I think she assumed it would be automatically better as soon as she left cheer, and it isn’t (and coming out of rehab hurting more than she did when she went in is frustrating). It doesn’t help any that most of her friends were posting pictures of their first games with school teams this past weekend. I’m hoping that once school starts and she has less time to be out of sorts,she’ll be happier-and that maybe she’ll find a club or two that she now has more time to do since “I can’t, I have cheer” has been part of her daily life for so long.
     
  8. Belinda

    Belinda There are Cheeropedia articles about me!

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2013
    Messages:
    1,006
    Shimmys Received:
    1,823
    Location:
    Sweden
    I am a(n)...:
    Coach / Athlete
    I feel this, granted I'm older and probably should retire soon enough anyway. But last season I had a constant pain in my wrist (well, more than usual), and actually had a cast on for weeks because they thought it was such a major sprain, then different braces throughout the season, but still competed on it as the doctors said go ahead it won't get worse. This summer I ended up having surgery to actually find out what was wrong, they ended up repairing a ligament.. I had a cast for 4 weeks, and then a hard brace for another 4, so I'm around 10 weeks post-op and still have a very limited range of motion and more pain than before, and it scares me so much. Like what if it didn't even help? What if it got worse? I could've just done another season on it, was the pain really that bad to begin with?? I know I made the right decision for my body, but when you love something so much, it's hard to let go, even if it's just for the moment.
     
  9. DonnaM

    DonnaM I Fierce Board instead of work/study

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2017
    Messages:
    388
    Shimmys Received:
    376
    I am a(n)...:
    Parent
    A month in, she's in less pain, but still has enough tightness and intermittent pain to be nervous about getting back in the gym. She still has another month before they will even consider clearing her (and her coach does not want her going back on a team all at once, because it is too easy for such things to become chronic). I think she's somewhat enjoying the time flexibility.
     
  10. DonnaM

    DonnaM I Fierce Board instead of work/study

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2017
    Messages:
    388
    Shimmys Received:
    376
    I am a(n)...:
    Parent
    Our gym had their showcase last night. It was CP's first time stepping into the building since all this started in August. Her knee has been improving, but just running around at a Halloween party caused several days of pain, so she's definitely not back to cheering yet.

    She felt weird about being back-as she said, everyone was so happy to see me, and no one was mean or blamed me for leaving (which she's been feeling guilty about). Her team pulled her into their huddle before they went on, and her adopted team (the junior team that considered her so much a part of the team that CP's coach let her miss awards so she could be at the edge of their mat) was thrilled. I suspect her knee will be bothering her today just due to cheering on the sidelines for her team.

    All our teams look good...really good. She commented later that “this is the best season yet—and I'm not there for it".

    When the last team finished, she exited quickly, so she could get to the car before she started crying. She misses being out there so much.
     
  11. Sterling von Shimmer

    Sterling von Shimmer I named my pet Sir Fierce-a-lot

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2017
    Messages:
    742
    Shimmys Received:
    445
    I am a(n)...:
    Coach
    I’m sorry :( I know how much that sucks.

    But this is for her overall health, which is the most important thing. I know how impatient kids can feel when their own bodies are healing. But injuries like this happen to skilled athletes sometimes, and when they do it’s best to give the injury the healing time it deserves. I know I’m not telling you anything you don’t know, but if it makes it easier, just bear in mind that this is for the best and that she’ll get through it. She’s young. She’s resilient. Kids bounce back from these things all the time. And yeah, when she does get back, she will probably feel frustrated by how stiff she feels (which might be another level of frustration you might want to be prepared for). But she’ll be just fine.

    And don’t let her feel like this is the end of her cheer career. One time, one of my girls totally screwed up for knee while working on her full a few years ago. There was a point when I honestly didn’t think she was going to be able to walk normally again without a limp, let alone get back to being the cheerleader she once had been.

    Two years later she was a Cal cheerleader.

    Injuries happen but so do full recoveries, followed by incredible success stories.

    So just take it a day at a time. She’ll be fine, I promise :)
     
  12. DonnaM

    DonnaM I Fierce Board instead of work/study

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2017
    Messages:
    388
    Shimmys Received:
    376
    I am a(n)...:
    Parent
    She wants to go to the regional comp tomorrow, both to cheer on her team, and for some of her friends who are now on school cheer, since in both cases, there won't be a lot of other opportunities to see them actually compete (for school cheer, this is it). I think it will be hard, but I also am kind of glad she does want to be there.
     
  13. DonnaM

    DonnaM I Fierce Board instead of work/study

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2017
    Messages:
    388
    Shimmys Received:
    376
    I am a(n)...:
    Parent
    We went to regionals. It's definitely hard for her to watch her team on the mat-but at the same time, she seems glad she went, because they are HER team. And, realistically, this is about the only comp this season that is at all reasonable for us to go to when she's not going to be competing-so I'm glad she got the chance. It also was a good comp for the gym overall-mostly, I admit, because most of the divisions had only one team-but also that a lot of the routines hit and looked good, especially for October.

    I'm hoping she isn't in too much pain later-she was jumping around more than was probably good for her.
     
  14. Sterling von Shimmer

    Sterling von Shimmer I named my pet Sir Fierce-a-lot

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2017
    Messages:
    742
    Shimmys Received:
    445
    I am a(n)...:
    Coach
    I think it counts for a lot when a kid just wants to be around cheer even while injured. A lot of kids I know would take advantage of the time off, and I don’t blame them for that. But showing up anyway shows another level of heart.
     
  15. DonnaM

    DonnaM I Fierce Board instead of work/study

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2017
    Messages:
    388
    Shimmys Received:
    376
    I am a(n)...:
    Parent
    The team CP was on this season just got a Summit WC bid. She's happy for them, but is definitely having a hard time emotionally.