Problematic Coach?

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Nov 30, 2015
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okay so I've been on the same cheer team for three years now (this is my 3rd) and before I was on the team I had been the unofficial manager for it for most of my life. The coach is my mothers cousin and she is causing a great deal of stress for me as a coach. Her daughter, my fellow teammate, is a flyer like I am. My coach is trying to make everything all about her daughter and not letting me be as good of a flyer as I can be simply because she wants her daughter to be in the spotlight (or so I assume). It hurts my feelings and I feel my coach is holding me back as a successful cheerleader. I don't know how to confront her about what she is doing. I don't think she would kick me off the team for bringing this problem up but I have a feeling she would take away my flying privileges and make me front spot instead as a punishment(not that there is necessarily anything wrong with front spotting. All positions are important I just love flying). Any ideas on what I should do as an athlete with a problematic coach based on what I have told you?
 
I'm a coach and if one of my athletes thought that I was being unfair to them and favoring someone else I would want them to tell me immediately. However, every coach is different and there are coaches who definitely have favorites and will make sure the rest of the team knows it (I used to cheer for such a coach).
The situation is definitely a bit awkward because of the whole mother/daughter duo. Is there an assistant coach that you could possibly talk to? Or even a cheer mom that's close to the coach? I would talk to them first.
 
okay so I've been on the same cheer team for three years now (this is my 3rd) and before I was on the team I had been the unofficial manager for it for most of my life. The coach is my mothers cousin and she is causing a great deal of stress for me as a coach. Her daughter, my fellow teammate, is a flyer like I am. My coach is trying to make everything all about her daughter and not letting me be as good of a flyer as I can be simply because she wants her daughter to be in the spotlight (or so I assume). It hurts my feelings and I feel my coach is holding me back as a successful cheerleader. I don't know how to confront her about what she is doing. I don't think she would kick me off the team for bringing this problem up but I have a feeling she would take away my flying privileges and make me front spot instead as a punishment(not that there is necessarily anything wrong with front spotting. All positions are important I just love flying). Any ideas on what I should do as an athlete with a problematic coach based on what I have told you?
Maybe ask her what you need to work on to be a better/stronger flyer. You may never get the coveted spot you want but that's life. Sometimes it's not what you can do but who you know.

Really awkward question for you to think about and be honest about. Are you a good flyer with potential to be better? I have seen many people, in various positions, that are just not as good as they think they are.


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I feel a lot of meeting your potential as a flyer is up to you. Do you stretch at home, pull your positions in front of a mirror, do extra ab conditioning, apply your Coaches corrections, etc.
 
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We can probably give you better advice if we knew exactly what your coach was doing that was hindering your ability. Not to discount your feelings, but she might not be acting malicious or be purposely trying to exclude you.

Example A- Coach allows everyone to practice their stunts except for your group. Coach does not allow you to try new stunts that you are ready for. Coach ignores you when you ask for help or advice. I would call these excluding.

Example B- Coach regularly gives constructive criticism without positive comments. Coach answers your questions but is not super friendly. Coach doesn't make a huge effort to watch your stunts. Coach does not think of any new stunts to try. I would call these poor coaching.

Example C- Coach does not watch every single one of your stunts. Coach is not always there to spot and critique every single one of your stunts. Coach does not make you center flyer. Coach moves you out of flying occasionally. Coach makes stunts that every group will be able to hit. Coach does not push new skills that are too difficult/dangerous. I would call this normal coaching.

These are just some ideas about what might be going on. You can kind of see where your coach falls and go from there.
 
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