All-Star Replacing Athletes With New Athletes...

[Keep_Believing]

At your gym are Team Moms part of the staff? What are the roles and responsibilities of Team Moms at your gym? At gyms we have been a part of they mainly organize bonding activities, help communicate/share extra practices, help with goody bags, and forward e mails from the Coaches.

 

[justpeachy]

@justpeachy I'm so sorry for what your daughter experienced. I applaud you for taking responsibility for your part in the situation, and admit you made some wrong decisions. I wish healing and happiness for you both.
Side note: were you/your daughter at cheer Alliance back in December? I was at that comp and a kid, in the gym's j5 uniform, that I think may have been yours (mostly based on her hair color) (she was with the gym owner's older daughter) told me she liked my Hamilton musical hat. I had actually meant to ask you this back after it happened but I totally forgot.



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That was most definitely her. She's obsessed.

And the saddest part of this whole story- that was her best friend. They don't talk at all anymore.

 

[Dani-j]

At your gym are Team Moms part of the staff? What are the roles and responsibilities of Team Moms at your gym? At gyms we have been a part of they mainly organize bonding activities, help communicate/share extra practices, help with goody bags, and forward e mails from the Coaches.

I am not a paid employee but would be considered staff! I do everything except coach.


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[Keep_Believing]

Is that true for most team Moms there or are you an exception?

 

[Dani-j]

That is the way our program is run. So yes all team moms have same duties as I do.


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[justpeachy]

I am the team mom of the team this all happened on. I have for three days thought about how to reply/ respond on this post. I do not think anything positive can come from posting negative. What I will say is that I love all these kids with all my heart and things are not always as they appear. There are absolutely two sides to every story. I will tell you that the parent posting I considered a friend but at this point I am defending the team, program, and coach that I love. The previous post is not entirely accurate on the way things happened nor does it represent the way the said team or program is ran.
I have often had thoughts about the vast majority wanting/saying cheerleading is a sport (which I agree it is). The major difference I see in cheerleading than every other sport is the expectation to keep a child on the team not doing their job. In baseball if the pitcher is throwing balls, the athlete is pulled from the game. This sport should be no different. My CP was put on this team to tumble and if she could not do her job I would expect her to be pulled and be disappointed if she was not. It's a life lesson to do your job. This CP that the post is about was not yelled at or degraded/ demeaned. I sit in practices with the coaches and have witnessed first hand the encouragement of trying to get this CP back to doing standing tumbling. The CP had been doing running tumbling during practices but would get to comps and tumble on some teams and not others. This had happened at multiple comps this season. It can not be blamed on the coach as all the CP teams are coached by different coaches. And the tumbling issue happened randomly on different teams.
To address the multiple team issue....
The CP was put on 2 teams asked to be on the third and fussed until placed an a 4th team (which was a Worlds team) placement on that team was strictly to tumble. This worlds team also competed in Louisville on the same weekend that all the CP other teams competed in Atlanta. Hard to be at both those events at the same time which lead to having a fill in and eventually a replacement because the CP was not tumbling. To address all these athletes compete on all 4 of these teams. Absolutely not true. I only had this CP cross to the worlds team she was on. I had 5 cross to 1 of the teams she was on and 5 cross to the other. They were not the same 5.
There was a discussion with the CP on day one about not competing day two and the Coach had a conversation with the parent. I texted the parent because I was not aware that they were told. However, I would never walk away from being a team mom because of having to bear bad news to a parent or CP. I want to be there for both the parent and CP in any way possible. I am their biggest fan. Everyone here may have a completely different outlook on this but I love and nurture these kids and would give them anything. I want them to know at any point in their lives, if they need me I'm a phone call away. So with that said bad news does not bother me. Sometimes I feel like I can be a shoulder to cry on. If anyone here has any other questions I will try and answer them to the best of my ability but I will not answer if I feel like it will hurt the CP that was the focus of this feed.



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D- I care about you too much to get into it with you on this message board. I know that you are in a hard position. I still expect you to be truthful.

I stand by my statements. I have reread my post repeatedly to be sure I was accurate and nothing was exaggerated.

I will reiterate: I am not mad that she was taken off the team. I am mad at HOW she was taken off the team(s).

She most certainly was NOT spoken to on day 1. Even if she had been, that would not be okay either. As I said, I did have a conversation with the coach and I was not told that she wasn't competing. If I was, we wouldn't have shown up expecting to compete. That's just common sense.

Also you are incorrect about me "fussing" for her to be put on the worlds team. She was first added to this team for a gym wide event in December, then told to keep coming to practices. All of those conversations took place by text between my daughter and coach. I wasn't involved in any way until I was asked to buy a uniform a while later. The only "fussing" I did was asking for her to be replaced on jr restricted 5 because it was supposed to be a temporary thing and it dragged on forever.

 

[SL&AM]

I keep coming back here as the thoughts keep coming.

But I think another piece of the issue is:

There are people/coaches/owners who LOVE cheerleading but don't actually like children.

Like, you won rings at Daytona, won Worlds, can tell anyone exactly why their double sucks, but you do not actually like dealing with athletes and the emotions that come with being a 12-15 year old kid.

That is why a lot of this happens.

Awesome cheerleaders do not always awesome coaches make.

We left our program at the beginning of this month after finally having a 'enough is enough' moment. I firmly agree with what I bolded---I have no question that our coach loved cheerleading or all-star, in general, but watching him actually interact with the non-senior aged kids was painful. His style of coaching is, "I say x, you do x" and when you can't just magically do x, he gets frustrated and throws his hands up. There is no showing how to do it or stepping in and helping...

Our gym made the horrendous decision to move from a location where the parents were far removed from the parents to a set-up where they are now on top of each other. Being able to see the athletes in real time changed my entire perspective of the gym in literally 2 weeks. I'm so thankful we are gone and I'm already seeing massive improvements in CP's day-to-day life, she's improving in school and she's happy. She went from loving this sport at all cost to being bullied relentlessly by an older girl on the team and now wants nothing to do with it.

 

[Dani-j]

D- I care about you too much to get into it with you on this message board. I know that you are in a hard position. I still expect you to be truthful.

I stand by my statements. I have reread my post repeatedly to be sure I was accurate and nothing was exaggerated.

I will reiterate: I am not mad that she was taken off the team. I am mad at HOW she was taken off the team(s).

She most certainly was NOT spoken to on day 1. Even if she had been, that would not be okay either. As I said, I did have a conversation with the coach and I was not told that she wasn't competing. If I was, we wouldn't have shown up expecting to compete. That's just common sense.

Also you are incorrect about me "fussing" for her to be put on the worlds team. She was first added to this team for a gym wide event in December, then told to keep coming to practices. It never was discussed whether she would stay on the team until I was asked to buy a uniform a while later. The only "fussing" I did was asking for her to be replaced on jr restricted 5 because it was supposed to be a temporary thing and it dragged on forever.

I stand by my statements as well.
Sorry it had to come to posting on a public forum. Not sure what any of these will resolve on all that has transpired. I only wish you and C-Bug the best! I hope you find a program that suits you both and she has a successful cheer career!


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[SL&AM]

I would almost always agree, but it was at a competition and they needed to be with the rest of the team.

If they had enough time to talk to the replacement about showing up for the team, the coach had enough time to call or talk to the parent of the child being pulled. JMO of course.

 

[CheerBank]

I am the team mom of the team this all happened on. I have for three days thought about how to reply/ respond on this post. I do not think anything positive can come from posting negative. What I will say is that I love all these kids with all my heart and things are not always as they appear. There are absolutely two sides to every story. I will tell you that the parent posting I considered a friend but at this point I am defending the team, program, and coach that I love. The previous post is not entirely accurate on the way things happened nor does it represent the way the said team or program is ran.
I have often had thoughts about the vast majority wanting/saying cheerleading is a sport (which I agree it is). The major difference I see in cheerleading than every other sport is the expectation to keep a child on the team not doing their job. In baseball if the pitcher is throwing balls, the athlete is pulled from the game. This sport should be no different. My CP was put on this team to tumble and if she could not do her job I would expect her to be pulled and be disappointed if she was not. It's a life lesson to do your job. This CP that the post is about was not yelled at or degraded/ demeaned. I sit in practices with the coaches and have witnessed first hand the encouragement of trying to get this CP back to doing standing tumbling. The CP had been doing running tumbling during practices but would get to comps and tumble on some teams and not others. This had happened at multiple comps this season. It can not be blamed on the coach as all the CP teams are coached by different coaches. And the tumbling issue happened randomly on different teams.
To address the multiple team issue....
The CP was put on 2 teams asked to be on the third and fussed until placed an a 4th team (which was a Worlds team) placement on that team was strictly to tumble. This worlds team also competed in Louisville on the same weekend that all the CP other teams competed in Atlanta. Hard to be at both those events at the same time which lead to having a fill in and eventually a replacement because the CP was not tumbling. To address all these athletes compete on all 4 of these teams. Absolutely not true. I only had this CP cross to the worlds team she was on. I had 5 cross to 1 of the teams she was on and 5 cross to the other. They were not the same 5.
There was a discussion with the CP on day one about not competing day two and the Coach had a conversation with the parent. I texted the parent because I was not aware that they were told. However, I would never walk away from being a team mom because of having to bear bad news to a parent or CP. I want to be there for both the parent and CP in any way possible. I am their biggest fan. Everyone here may have a completely different outlook on this but I love and nurture these kids and would give them anything. I want them to know at any point in their lives, if they need me I'm a phone call away. So with that said bad news does not bother me. Sometimes I feel like I can be a shoulder to cry on. If anyone here has any other questions I will try and answer them to the best of my ability but I will not answer if I feel like it will hurt the CP that was the focus of this feed.



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I commend you for posting this. You didn't need to.

 

[Dani-j]

I commend you for posting this. You didn't need to.

Thank you.


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[justpeachy]

I'll say this and then I'm bowing out. I've made my point, I think.

As we look for potential new gyms, my concern as a mother is not how many titles they've won or how great things look on social media. I want all the information, both good and bad, so that I can make an informed decision. I want to know what the worst of it is so I can decide if that's something I choose to participate in or not.

When I was considering this program for my daughter, I heard things. I also researched here, thoroughly. I liked what the coach had to say and I disregarded the rumors I had heard. That was my choice, and again, that's on me.

My point is, there are lots of great things about this gym. Many families are happy with the product. I wouldn't try to take that away from them because I am an honest person. But for that mom out there who is thinking of bringing her child here (or anywhere), and doing her research just like I once did, read and be fully informed. Maybe what happened to my kid isn't a big deal to some. Maybe some will write it off as just another disgruntled parent. Maybe the pros of this gym will outweigh the cons. That's perfectly okay and I wish them nothing but the best. But do your research. Find out what the worst is and decide if you're good with that. Because our kids take this very seriously and a bad decision on your part can really break your kid.

 

[coacha]

I have often had thoughts about the vast majority wanting/saying cheerleading is a sport (which I agree it is). The major difference I see in cheerleading than every other sport is the expectation to keep a child on the team not doing their job. In baseball if the pitcher is throwing balls, the athlete is pulled from the game. This sport should be no different. My CP was put on this team to tumble and if she could not do her job I would expect her to be pulled and be disappointed if she was not. It's a life lesson to do your job. This CP that the post is about was not yelled at or degraded/ demeaned. I sit in practices with the coaches and have witnessed first hand the encouragement of trying to get this CP back to doing standing tumbling.

I am not one that believes a spot is untouchable and that you shouldn't/can't be replaced. I do, however, believe there is a right way to go about doing that. Between day 1 and day 2 of a competition and without talking to the cheerleader/parent is not the right way to go about it. Not via a team parent text - even though your gym seems to have a rather different view of what a team parent should be doing. These are kids - not professional athletes. They aren't even college aged athletes. This one is barely a teenager!! And for that matter, they are also paying customers of the gym, but I realize that gets lost in the having a coveted spot on a worlds team frenzy. Coaches need to have a straight forward conversation about what needs to improve, when it needs to improve by and what are the consequences for not meeting those expectations with the cheerleader and/or parent and make sure everyone is on the same page.

And as for any other sport, I would expect the coach of my son's baseball team to explain to my son why he was being benched just like I would expect an all star cheer coach to explain to a cheerleader why they are being removed. Yes, it's expected that kids are benched, moved to the starting lineup all the time, but the coaches COMMUNICATE. Hell, I would expect my BOSS in my adult life to explain to me why I was being removed from a project, not just have me show up at work and find my replacement doing my job.

 

[dat.jpp]

The thing that is bothering me about this is now is the fact that the coaches didn't even appreciate her for even TRYING to have a commitment to be on 4 teams... Who can even fit 4-6 days a week for cheer!?!?

 

[coacha]

The thing that is bothering me about this is now is the fact that the coaches didn't even appreciate her for even TRYING to have a commitment to be on 4 teams... Who can even fit 4-6 days a week for cheer!?!?

I coach HS, so I'm in a different world but I seriously think asking any cheerleader to commit to even 2 teams is asking too much. There are reliable studies that being a single sport athlete does harm to youth aged athletes, and with as long as the all star season is there is no time to do another sport in the minuscule off-season. Since they can't do a second sport, they should at least be able to pursue other interests.