All-Star Strict Coaching

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May 29, 2014
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Last year one of the reasons we chose to leave our gym because one of the head coaches was very difficult to get along with. We personally never had a problem but one practice the coach got within 2 inches from a 7 year olds face and told her that her tumbling was sloppy so was so upset she began to cry and that made him call her a baby. The child began to hyperventilate and peed her pants. Situations like this happened over and over again and therefore the gym lost all but two 8-12 year olds this eliminating the youth teams.

Because of this we switched gyms. This year has been however recently one of the coaches at the new gym told one of the smaller girls that her sub from the previous practice was better in her position that what she was. This coach says stuff like this all of the time and when parents try to talk to them they then seem to pick on your child for the next few practices. We have no problem with tough love and strict coaching but I think that embarrassing and degrading comments in front of the whole team isn’t really necessary at these young age groups.

Have any of you had experiences with stuff like this and what are your thoughts on it? Is this just how the sport of cheer is?


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All I'm gonna say is this...there is a reason I janked my then 8 year old from this sport and never looked back. Sometimes the bullying isn't just within the peer group.

I would run, I would run as fast from this new place as you did from the last place. Unfortunately for a lot of families you run out of places to go, but cheerleading should never be more important than the mental health of a child.
 
Also, the more you yell, the less they listen and the worse they do.

Ex: if you're yelling about a stunt that keeps falling, and you keep yelling, it is actually going to become less consistent because you are stressing everyone out.

YES, exactly my thought!


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Also can we stop the emotional terrorism that is constantly threatening kids with replacement and making them feel like their spot is in jeopardy at. all. times?

That is not coaching.

I remember reading on here about a coach who would have the replacement come in and sit at front of mat and tell the girl on the mat "this girl has your spot if you're not on your game tonight." So unnecessary.

1. Really, they know their spot is flexible/subject to change. They do not need a reminder every time they do not take a correction.

2. You get LESS of what you want from kids when they are feeling pressured. They get worse because they figure it doesn't matter, she is going to pull me anyway.

3. If you are really going to pull a kid stop threatening and just do it. The empty threat is silly.
 
One of my biggest pet peeves is when coaches bring out their frustration with parents on children. I coached a Youth 1 team last season and this is an age where words stick. Parents have every right to question what's going on during practice between the coaches and team if it seems off.
You NEVER compare athletes to each other. Each athlete is their own individual person with their own skill set, strengths, and weaknesses, and it's your job as their coach to know all of that. So no that is not how cheer is. At least it shouldn't be.
 
Also can we stop the emotional terrorism that is constantly threatening kids with replacement and making them feel like their spot is in jeopardy at. all. times?

That is not coaching.

I remember reading on here about a coach who would have the replacement come in and sit at front of mat and tell the girl on the mat "this girl has your spot if you're not on your game tonight." So unnecessary.

1. Really, they know their spot is flexible/subject to change. They do not need a reminder every time they do not take a correction.

2. You get LESS of what you want from kids when they are feeling pressured. They get worse because they figure it doesn't matter, she is going to pull me anyway.

3. If you are really going to pull a kid stop threatening and just do it. The empty threat is silly.
Yes to not threatening and just doing. For example especially on teams like youth and younger, if you think two kids need to be switched in the routine for it to look better just switch them. They don't need to be told that they became a tumbler instead of the flyer because they sucked. You simply think they would make the better tumbler and the other athlete would make the better flyer. That way both feel good about themselves.
 
It starts at the top, imo. The owners of our gym would never tolerate coaching like that and therefore, don't hire coaches who would treat kids that way. All of our coaches are excellent. I'd have no issue with my daughters working with any of them.
 
There are some abusive coaches, however there are also hundreds of athletes and parents with various skill level and personalities. For what one deems abuse, another may deem as discipline. One athlete may thrive with a hard-nose coach where another may feel bullied. Bottom line, if a coach isn't a fit for your child then you should either request another coach or leave the program - this goes for any sport or activity. If a program has 100 athletes and 95 of those athletes and parents are happy and have no problems with a coach and 5 that feel the coach is abusive, then it's likely a bad fit for those 5 versus an abusive situation.
 
It starts at the top, imo. The owners of our gym would never tolerate coaching like that and therefore, don't hire coaches who would treat kids that way. All of our coaches are excellent. I'd have no issue with my daughters working with any of them.

Unfortunately the worse at gym number one came from the owner.


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