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It even applies to spouses. You can pray for them, try to help them, try to get them help, and even divorce them, but you can't force them to get and stay clean. One of the hardest parts about drug addiction is sometimes a person does get clean for a year or more, but there is always that fear they will relapse.
 
Honestly, it's so frustrating as a parent. I'm in a place right now where I spend a lot of time (far too much) beating myself up for my parental failures...or time spent focusing on things that don't seem to matter anyway. Like how much effort I put in to protecting my sweet baby from second hand smoke. Omg. All that effort...it nearly destroyed my relationship with my in-laws who didn't understand. NOW? My kid willfully smokes. It's just...I don't know. Like my mother always says, parenthood is designed to blow up in your face. I feel so much for parents who try so hard and do an acceptable job...but still have to face that their children have free agency and that they very well may choose to do things that are so far out there that they may never have a chance to come back from. It's heartbreaking and horrifying.

I didn't know Dani and I don't know her family. For all I know they could have been terrible people, but I AM going to give them the benefit of the doubt and not hold them responsible for the mistakes (no matter how great) of their child. I do know that she was much loved by people who I care for and I know the pain of watching someone you love make choices you hate and I'm sad for her loved ones. :(
 
I am so sorry that you are all going through this. Makes me wish that my little one will never grow up. I would love to keep her in a bubble where her only disppointing behaviors are things like forgetting her water bottle each practice.
 
I truly appreciate her mothers openness and willingness to share. I hope others can learn from her tragic story.
 
@amy1k
You hit the nail on the head! This is an excellent read for parents of all ages of kids:

About that mom who’s not bragging about her kid - The Washington Post (click link)

Wow, that is a great article. As the mom of a senior who won't be going to a four-year university because school isn't his favorite thing and now watching as mom after mom is bragging on FB about colleges and school visits for football, etc., this article is me in a lot of ways. I dislike bragging anyway but these days I dislike it even a little more. ;)
 
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