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Lisa Welsh
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By Lisa D. Welsh
www.CHEERMaD.com
Whether you’re a cheer mom or cheer dad whose gym had tryouts last week, this week or is yet to have them, this interlude between two seasons is unique unto itself.
One minute your child is part of a cohesive team, the next they stand (jump, dance and tumble) alone. Once a member of a team that took six to ten months to develop, now they wait in line to sign up like the new kid.
Depending on their level or skill or age, some athletes will attend tumble classes or clinics, open houses or tryout sessions with a different group of athletes than they are used to working with. Over eleven seasons, I’ve seen former “besties” become resentful as one friend moves beyond the other’s in skill on a tumble pass. It’s been heartbreaking to watch a group of kids cheering together since minis move on, except one who stays on “last year’s team” (although as the season gained momentum, that veteran became the center spot of her team while the others were swamped with new expectations on the new).
Years ago, cheer parents didn’t think so much about levels and divisions. With Rec and Allstar cheerleading, everyone made the team, unlike the cheerleading squads that I had to tryout for in Jr. High (we didn’t have middle school) and High School. My daughter never knew the pain of walking up to a bulletin board to not find her name typed among those of her closest friends. In Seventh Grade, and then again Freshman year in High School, I felt like an outsider when friends made the squad and with it, a ready-made new group of friends and social activities.
But there are painful reminders in all parts of life, and Allstars aren’t spared. I believe that coaches know what’s best for a team and if they put my daughter on a certain level then it was because that is where she was needed. This was hard at times when the brochure clearly stated that a certain skill had to be mastered before moving onto a higher level and hard to ignore when some cheerleaders passed on and upward even though they had the same skills as my child.
There had to be an explanation but when it’s your child crying and yelling that “it’s not fair,” it’s hard to think of an answer. Here’s a list I’ve mentally compiled over the years. Feel free to borrow, edit and use for your own anxious car ride home.
1. There will always be someone who is better (richer, skinnier, prettier). Instead of comparing yourself, be thankful for who you are.
2. You just have to keep working at it (and paying for more private tumbling lessons ~your mind inserts~ but you don’t say that out loud).
3. I know so-and-so hasn’t been working as hard as you have and I’m sure the coach knows that (but sometimes life isn’t fair and others get what you want).
4. You can quit but I think you’ll always wonder what you could have done.
5. Give it a chance and see how things come together. It takes a team six months of sweat, tears, winning and losing together.
6. You’re right, it’s not fair. Life’s not fair sometimes and the sooner you learn that the better off you’ll be.
7. I love you and it hurts me to see you hurt.
Thinking back on some of the tryouts I’ve experienced as a cheer mom, there’s a stream of nameless girls that received a coveted spot on the team my daughter longed to be on. We’ve bumped into a college student here and a restaurant hostess there who moved on quicker than Becky to one of the higher levels. They hung up their Nfinities long ago, while my daughter is now a coach and mentor to the young ones that next week will be putting themselves out there to be compared and critiqued among their own former teammates.
It’s only through the passage of time that they will find that tryouts aren’t the end-all but the beginning.
By Lisa D. Welsh
www.CHEERMaD.com
Whether you’re a cheer mom or cheer dad whose gym had tryouts last week, this week or is yet to have them, this interlude between two seasons is unique unto itself.One minute your child is part of a cohesive team, the next they stand (jump, dance and tumble) alone. Once a member of a team that took six to ten months to develop, now they wait in line to sign up like the new kid.
Depending on their level or skill or age, some athletes will attend tumble classes or clinics, open houses or tryout sessions with a different group of athletes than they are used to working with. Over eleven seasons, I’ve seen former “besties” become resentful as one friend moves beyond the other’s in skill on a tumble pass. It’s been heartbreaking to watch a group of kids cheering together since minis move on, except one who stays on “last year’s team” (although as the season gained momentum, that veteran became the center spot of her team while the others were swamped with new expectations on the new).
Years ago, cheer parents didn’t think so much about levels and divisions. With Rec and Allstar cheerleading, everyone made the team, unlike the cheerleading squads that I had to tryout for in Jr. High (we didn’t have middle school) and High School. My daughter never knew the pain of walking up to a bulletin board to not find her name typed among those of her closest friends. In Seventh Grade, and then again Freshman year in High School, I felt like an outsider when friends made the squad and with it, a ready-made new group of friends and social activities.But there are painful reminders in all parts of life, and Allstars aren’t spared. I believe that coaches know what’s best for a team and if they put my daughter on a certain level then it was because that is where she was needed. This was hard at times when the brochure clearly stated that a certain skill had to be mastered before moving onto a higher level and hard to ignore when some cheerleaders passed on and upward even though they had the same skills as my child.
There had to be an explanation but when it’s your child crying and yelling that “it’s not fair,” it’s hard to think of an answer. Here’s a list I’ve mentally compiled over the years. Feel free to borrow, edit and use for your own anxious car ride home.
1. There will always be someone who is better (richer, skinnier, prettier). Instead of comparing yourself, be thankful for who you are.2. You just have to keep working at it (and paying for more private tumbling lessons ~your mind inserts~ but you don’t say that out loud).
3. I know so-and-so hasn’t been working as hard as you have and I’m sure the coach knows that (but sometimes life isn’t fair and others get what you want).
4. You can quit but I think you’ll always wonder what you could have done.
5. Give it a chance and see how things come together. It takes a team six months of sweat, tears, winning and losing together.
6. You’re right, it’s not fair. Life’s not fair sometimes and the sooner you learn that the better off you’ll be.
7. I love you and it hurts me to see you hurt.
Thinking back on some of the tryouts I’ve experienced as a cheer mom, there’s a stream of nameless girls that received a coveted spot on the team my daughter longed to be on. We’ve bumped into a college student here and a restaurant hostess there who moved on quicker than Becky to one of the higher levels. They hung up their Nfinities long ago, while my daughter is now a coach and mentor to the young ones that next week will be putting themselves out there to be compared and critiqued among their own former teammates.
It’s only through the passage of time that they will find that tryouts aren’t the end-all but the beginning.
