- Jul 23, 2010
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Well my youngest is a competitive diver with one of the top programs in the country. Two of our boys are on the Olympic National team and one of our younger girls is on the development team. I have NEVER heard any of the coaches raise their voices at the divers. They may ask where their head is at or if they were happy with what they just chucked in the pool but no yelling, no cursing, no name calling. It's competitive, the kids are more than committed, spend hours more time training than a Worlds cheerleader and some of them may end up with full ride scholarships or Olympic medals. So the idea that yelling and competition go hand in hand is ridiculous.
I think we can agree that yelling at some athletes works and for some it doesn't. It's not always the volume, it's what you're saying in that volume. Just because you don't INTEND for something to come out a certain way, doesn't mean you aren't somewhat responsible for how you are perceived.
Oh we absolutely should seek to confront someone who has hurt the feelings of 'our' child (seeing as I have no children lol). But what happens when that avenue is closed off to us? What message does that send? That gym owners are unwilling to hear such an important complaint? An adult bullying a 9 year old is a pretty heavy thing, and to not be willing to address it causes more concern for me on the part of the gym owner than it does on the part of the person bringing it up. Let's say you had a meeting with the coach and they refuse to admit any wrongdoing or that it was phrased exactly like 'X.' What then? Ok, you don't go back to the gym, but then what? If the owners involved and the coach doesn't admit it- what then? What if the owner does nothing? The family leaves, and the cycle continues. And we all end up on a message board telling each other it's not that bad and we're just too sensitive..I certainly agree coaches need to be careful of what comes out of their mouth and held responsible, as an employee, to represent the gym in a professional manner. The OP said that their child was "bullied", which is done with intent to harm them physically or mentally. It is a serious charge that, currently, someone can take legal action for in 49 states and you can pay fines or do time depending on the state. If the OP accused the gym or coach of bullying, that may be the reason the OP did not get a response to his email. @Mclovin stated, "I shudder at the thought that what allegedly happened to the OP's child is being called bullying." I whole heartedly agree. Should we confront someone in a mature manner if they have hurt the feelings of our child? Yes. Should we accuse them of committing a crime without talking to them first? No.
Mama raised me to be a good girl (and some days, I want to curse her for that. It's a terrible thing )@kristenthegreat You are a kind person and are assuming you are dealing with a reasonable adult that has integrity. If you own a business and have received an email accusing your employee of a crime (bullying), you should seek counsel first. Again, I'm assuming he used "bullying" in his emails as he did in the Thread Title, I don't know that for a fact. Unfortunately, there are bullies out there and they deserve to be punished, however, there are also people that see a successful business and they don't have the best of intentions either. I have no idea if SOT sought counsel or just ignored what they felt was a dramatic parent, but there's always two sides to every story and we are only hearing from one.