All-Star Why Do Some Cheer Families And Cheerleaders Take It Personal When You Change Gyms?

[Keep_Believing]

We left a small gym after the season was finished to go to a large gym. The owner of our former gym handled it professionally. I appreciate that. It was a good descision for our family. The change has been good for my CP's. I have seen them improve and grow in a short period of time. I have also see their confidence grow. Some of our friends from our old gym have been kind about us switching gyms. That means the world to us. Unfortunately, some have taken it very personally. I just don't get it. Why do some cheer families and cheerleaders take it personal when you change gyms?

 

[cheernerd5678]

Because they feel like they weren't good enough for you, and that can hurt. Sure, we (fierceboarders) know that it's not always the quality of the gym, but coaching styles, etc that make it fit, but the average cheer family tends to feel like it's a smack in the face. And they often can't handle it professionally. It's perfectly fine for them to be hurt, but often times instead of just wishing you luck, they talk about you, unfriend you, etc. It's rather unfortunate.


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[Official OWECheer]

Because they feel like they weren't good enough for you, and that can hurt. Sure, we (fierceboarders) know that it's not always the quality of the gym, but coaching styles, etc that make it fit, but the average cheer family tends to feel like it's a smack in the face. And they often can't handle it professionally. It's perfectly fine for them to be hurt, but often times instead of just wishing you luck, they talk about you, unfriend you, etc. It's rather unfortunate.


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Maybe it's just me, but that kind of behavior seems a bit... possessive. I can definitely understand feeling hurt and rejected,but "unfriending"?

 

[Keep_Believing]

Maybe it's just me, but that kind of behavior seems a bit... possessive. I can definitely understand feeling hurt and rejected,but "unfriending"?

It does happen over this. I am an adult. So, if you unfriend me it isn't as big a deal, but it hurts to see kids unfriend your CP's.

 

[cheernerd5678]

Maybe it's just me, but that kind of behavior seems a bit... possessive. I can definitely understand feeling hurt and rejected,but "unfriending"?

I mean on social media. Some on here have stated that it has happened to them... Others have said that they've unfriended people bc it was too hard to see their posts and how happy they were without them. So it's just a byproduct of the hurt feelings I guess? Idk I feel like I'd stay friends with people, if only bc I'm nosy


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[CheerBank]

We left a small gym after the season was finished to go to a large gym. The owner of our former gym handled it professionally. I appreciate that. It was a good descision for our family. The change has been good for my CP's. I have seen them improve and grow in a short period of time. I have also see their confidence grow. Some of our friends from our old gym have been kind about us switching gyms. That means the world to us. Unfortunately, some have taken it very personally. I just don't get it. Why do some cheer families and cheerleaders take it personal when you change gyms?

Speaking from experience -

When someone leaves a gym for whatever reason and is able to move on to another gym and be happy, it can increase insecurities in people about their own program (kids and adults alike). It makes them question things that perhaps they did not want to question, and that's never a good feeling.

Others are more concerned about how they are perceived by the gym owners if they maintain a friendship with someone who left. They would rather show loyalty to a program than to a friend.

Finally, as already mentioned, sometimes there are just hurt feelings at being left behind or feeling they are not good enough, and people do not know how to express them in a functional manner. There may also be a degree of jealousy that you left a small program for a bigger well known one; you may have done exactly what they'd like to do as well but can't or won't.

Leaving a program absolutely lets you know who your true friends are very quickly. It also makes you more cautious about getting close to people in your new program.


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[SL&AM]

We left a small gym after the season was finished to go to a large gym. The owner of our former gym handled it professionally. I appreciate that. It was a good descision for our family. The change has been good for my CP's. I have seen them improve and grow in a short period of time. I have also see their confidence grow. Some of our friends from our old gym have been kind about us switching gyms. That means the world to us. Unfortunately, some have taken it very personally. I just don't get it. Why do some cheer families and cheerleaders take it personal when you change gyms?

At the gym CP was cheering for (I put formerly because I pulled her only a few days ago because our moving date has sped up by months) change was expected. It's a military focused program and when the military says move...you do it. Hence the struggle I'm in now trying to figure out if CP is even going to compete this season or not. We think yes, I'm hopeful anyway.

However, on the same day I pulled my CP, another mother pulled hers. Not because they were moving but because she was switching her CP to a gym that did try-outs much later and is putting her daughter onto a higher leveled team (mini to youth). Good for her CP? Maybe, but personally I thought it was rather tacky. My entire basis for that argument though is that her daughter originally wasn't cheering at CP's gym during the summer because she began taking classes at that gym and liked it better. She had only come back to the gym about a month ago and was worked into the routine and welcomed with open arms. For her to then turn around and leave the way she did---well, I think it's rude especially when I didn't understand why she came back to begin with. Frankly, I think it falls more onto the coaching staff and gym owner who allows such behavior, but none withstanding, when mom came to me about it I opened up on her and didn't exactly sugarcoat my response.

I think if you leave at the end of a season, really it shouldn't be a big deal...but situations like the above? Bleh.

 

[Keep_Believing]

At the gym CP was cheering for (I put formerly because I pulled her only a few days ago because our moving date has sped up by months) change was expected. It's a military focused program and when the military says move...you do it. Hence the struggle I'm in now trying to figure out if CP is even going to compete this season or not. We think yes, I'm hopeful anyway.

However, on the same day I pulled my CP, another mother pulled hers. Not because they were moving but because she was switching her CP to a gym that did try-outs much later and is putting her daughter onto a higher leveled team (mini to youth). Good for her CP? Maybe, but personally I thought it was rather tacky. My entire basis for that argument though is that her daughter originally wasn't cheering at CP's gym during the summer because she began taking classes at that gym and liked it better. She had only come back to the gym about a month ago and was worked into the routine and welcomed with open arms. For her to then turn around and leave the way she did---well, I think it's rude especially when I didn't understand why she came back to begin with. Frankly, I think it falls more onto the coaching staff and gym owner who allows such behavior, but none withstanding, when mom came to me about it I opened up on her and didn't exactly sugarcoat my response.

I think if you leave at the end of a season, really it shouldn't be a big deal...but situations like the above? Bleh.

Yes, that is very different to me. We completed our season.

 

[piglet]

I feel like I'd stay friends with people, if only bc I'm nosy

I like to stay friends with people only because at my age, friends can be so hard to make! Also, I feel like nothing has changed about me or my CP--just the gym where she trains and cheers so yeah, it's hurtful to lose friends over something like this. Our past gym wasn't the right fit for my CP, but that doesn't mean that I no longer care about the program, its coaches, athletes, etc. Leaving wasn't a reflection upon their gym or those who cheer for it. I think that's probably what is most problematic--the appearance that leaving after the season, we'd decided that the gym wasn't good enough or we were too good for the gym (totally untrue in either case).

Leaving a program absolutely lets you know who your true friends are very quickly.

Amen X 1000

 

[Fierce_Elite]

We left a small gym after the season was finished to go to a large gym. The owner of our former gym handled it professionally. I appreciate that. It was a good descision for our family. The change has been good for my CP's. I have seen them improve and grow in a short period of time. I have also see their confidence grow. Some of our friends from our old gym have been kind about us switching gyms. That means the world to us. Unfortunately, some have taken it very personally. I just don't get it. Why do some cheer families and cheerleaders take it personal when you change gyms?

They feel hurt and rejected . There isn't many small gyms around . So when one person leaves , it makes the facility that much harder . It's hard to grow as a gym when everyone is wanting to be at a big gym . In my opinion , I think it's better to be a smaller gym because it's more one on one time with the coaches . Now unless that small gym was horrible at what they did , then I understand . I understand what you're saying . But coming from a person who has your Same story , I see it from both sides. Even though the coach handled it well, she probably feels like she wasn't doing what she was supposed to do with your daughters/sons.



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[SL&AM]

I feel like, some part of it has to do with time as well.

For example, last season CP's team was incredibly small---we were just on a Tiny's team. Two of the mother's, I was insanely close to. We hung out at practices, scheduled our girl's practices (tumbling and gymnastics when we could be flexible) purposefully around each other so we'd be at the gym together, stayed in the same hotels, went to dinner's even when our parties were like 15 between the 3 families, planned activities together at away competitions, sat together...etc, etc. Those two mom's are two of my closest BFFs and this year, when neither of them returned to cheer; one because they were moving and the other because her daughter opted to join the competitive gymnastics competition, it reminded us how hard it was to find time to hang out outside of our daughter's joint activity.

We have done so, and will continue to until we move in a few months but I think a lot of the times those friendships formed are formed because they're easy and you see that person often. Take out the gym is are they still there? Are they still viable friendships. The mom I spoke of above; even though I knew her outside of cheer before our CP's ever cheered, I don't have that same connection so I did remove her from my FB page. Not to be mean, but because realistically speaking, I'm not her friend and I'm not going to go out of my way to spend time with her or have Cp spend time with her's now that we're not at the same gym anymore.

I may think of it differently because I've moved every 3 years for the past decade and a lot of these cheer friendships can be compared to military based friendships as well...but it is another angle.

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

I think at times, gyms lose sight of the fact that as much as your kids/parents feel like family, you are also selling them a SERVICE.

The consumer has the right to go where he or she feels as though that SERVICE can be provided better.

Does that mean they don't LIKE you as a person? No.

Example: I recently parted ways with my hairstylist. Do I still like her? Yes. But her services were no longer working for me and there was another salon who provided that service better.

 

[GlitterPlz]

When we switched gyms it was almost immediately that things between the old parents got very tense and awkward between us. I know they still loved their gym and I didn't want any positive new-gym talk to be misconstrued as me try to recruit friends over so I kept my cheer chit chat to a minimum. But outside of cheer, we really didn't have any common bond so the relationships quickly fizzled.
Makes walking past, or sitting behind, them at competitions incredibly uncomfortable.
Everyone loves their own gym, so when someone leaves, I think the people still at the old gym see it like they weren't good enough for you. I certainly know I've felt that way when our own teammates leave for other gyms. It stings a little.


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[Keep_Believing]

They feel hurt and rejected . There isn't many small gyms around . So when one person leaves , it makes the facility that much harder . It's hard to grow as a gym when everyone is wanting to be at a big gym . In my opinion , I think it's better to be a smaller gym because it's more one on one time with the coaches . Now unless that small gym was horrible at what they did , then I understand . I understand what you're saying . But coming from a person who has your Same story , I see it from both sides. Even though the coach handled it well, she probably feels like she wasn't doing what she was supposed to do with your daughters/sons.



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It was a good gym. I am thankful for the skills they taught both of my CP's. We did not leave to hurt anyone. Right now my girls want an opportunity to one day be on a level 5 team and go to world's and possibly cheer in college. The new big gym we are currently with will provide them endless opportunities to see their goals become a reality. It is the right fit for us.

 

[SharkDad]

Any professional coach and gym owner that wants the best for your child will understand that gym/coach selection is a very personal choice. The good ones should wish you well if you switch and welcome you back with open arms if you decide to come back. I know plenty that do.

Unfortunately some parents make it about them and not the kids. Kids generally don't care and will follow the adults lead.

On the flip side, parents and athletes should to be mindful of the timing and how the decision affects the other kids on the team when they switch. I also feel that the lesson of completing your commitment for a whole season is important unless there are circumstances hurting our child.

In my opinion this is what positive, healthy behavior should be like.