All-Star Advice/discussion On Avoiding Mama Drama

[Mom2Cheergirls]

Hi all-
So have multiple CPs on different teams. Most fine, but one team that was typically peaceful last year has broken out in all sorts of Mama Drama. I try my best to avoid it because honestly it has gotten exhausting Our practices are open (parents is a small area away from direct CP contact). I stay due to a variety of reasons - so leaving practice is not a choice and honestly I like to watch my kids and they like me watching them and I don't want to feel pushed out from being there for my kids because of this mama drama. I am not involved in any of the situations and I try to stay neutral or explain how I can have empathy for all sides when pushed but really I just want to email the person in charge and say - seriously the parents on this team need to have a meeting and get this aired out and then told to drop it because it is just too much. So I guess I would love to know how other parents have dealt with this - and how gym owners and coaches have dealt with it. I have only made one comment to another mom who is not into the drama and asked her how she deals with it and basically both of us feel slammed - and are a bit worried that this much is going on so very early in the season. I really feel like maybe I should touch base with the coach but then I don't want to be someone else bringing up drama. My kids love their teams and their coaches so leaving currently is not an option but I certainly am keeping my eyes open to what is around in case this continues on for next year. I think much of this is due to some changes that occurred in how the gym is run, but some of it is from animosity that has been brewing with some of these families for many years. I know there are people considering leaving now because of it all and of course they are not the drama ones. Advice/discussion/ and experience welcomed - thanks in advance.

 

[Sp1derP1g1230]

I struggle with when to speak up and when to let things go so I'm not one of those parents. I think you are doing the right thing by staying neutral. I do think you should give the coaches/owner a heads up. Especially if you are going to start losing families. Even if families don't leave the stress and tension the parents are creating will trickle down to the athletes and cause problems on the team.

 

[CheerBank]

Since the drama does not directly involve you or your cps, and your cps are happy, it would be wise not to bring yourself into it by bringing it to the coaches. It is going to come to a head on it's own and the parties involved will eventually have a huge blowout. While I understand that you do not want this to have a long term effect on your cp's team, stay out of it and remain in your drama-free bubble for as long as you can. Seek the company of the other parents who are not involved and in the meantime if at all possible continue to be nice to everyone and maintain your neutral ground. File it all away though, and keep it all in mind (and how it was eventually resolved) when you make decisions for next year. You have a long season ahead and so much can change between now and May. Good luck and keep us posted!

 

[bobbijean13]

ipod and ear buds

 

[Rudags]

Become a drop-off/pickup mom

 

[jcheermom]

I think that you have every right to stay and watch practice and you should continue to do so. I also think that you should remain neutral as long as possible and stay away from the drama as you do recognize that this could have devastating effects on the team and even the gym as a whole and you should stay away from it and not get sucked into it. I would NOT bring the issue(s) up to the coaches/owners UNLESS you are specifically asked by them if you know what is going on then I would approach it as, "...well now that you ask, I have heard talk of..." or "... I am concerned about what I am hearing the others talking about...". The word through the grapevine spreads fast and even faster when they hear that you are the snitch who went and told the coaches what is being said in the "parents' room"; afterall the room is for the parents and shouldn't they be able to talk freely in there, as most parents would like to rationalize the open discussions/complaining/gossiping that occurs in there. Good luck and hang in there. I'd like to say that what you are experiencing is a rarity in cheer gyms , but lets just say that most of the time there's a positive learning experience that comes from these situations.

 

[Mamarazzi]

More often than not, I think coaches/owners know what's going on in their lobby. I don't think you need to get involved by being the one to bring it up as someone probably already has. And for goodness sake, don't ever participate in the discussion. Earbuds are a great idea! You deserve to be able to watch your cp, and as frustrating as it can be to listen to Suzie's Moms, don't leave because of them.

 

[Cheerleaders Rock]

That drama is everywhere. You either get involved and be part of the problem or stay out of it.

I think when some hear you are neutral or empathize, it makes them think you still want to hear what is going on - you just have not expressed your opinion.

If it starts to affect the kids and/or the team - that is when the situation should be escalated.

 

[quitthedrama]

You deserve to be able to watch your cp, and as frustrating as it can be to listen to Suzie's Moms, don't leave because of them.

Completely agree - Suzie's Mom is EVERYWHERE - leaving the gym will not solve the problem and will just bring you to Suzie's Mom's evil twin. I agree with what most have said - don't get the coaches involved, they probably already know about it but have seen it every season and really just want to focus on the kids. If your CP is happy and the team itself is productive, then let it be. It is amazing how the kids can block out the drama - I have seen kids whose parents can't stand each other be best friends and/or awesome teammates.

 

[mdmetromom]

ipod and ear buds

THIS!!

 

[cheergirlbrey]

Do your own thing and let them ruin themselves.... Good luck!!

 

[eliteathletics]

read a book- walk around the building - sit in car listen to music - text on your phone- find anything to keep you out of the mix. Stay in your drama free bubble and encourage your cp to do the same. Things tend to get better once kids get into the sr years, but until then - its tough. Best of luck.

 

[FierceandFearless]

I agree with Mamarazzi, and celite. And I especially agree with the earbuds. Try not to even get involved at all with the whole , "I try to empathize with all sides" because that still makes you part of the discussion.

Best of luck!

 

[ufomom]

Earbuds, ipod and a book. The book can be for camoflauge. I would also physically turn my body away from people in negative conversations or move to another area. If someone says something to you don't like, look at them with a quizzical look, and hold your book up and start reading. If it's real bad, you need to leave the area. If you bring it to the coaches, you have become part of the mama drama. If you need to dish, it needs to be a trusted friend hopefully not a part of cheer!

 

[FierceandFearless]

Earbuds, ipod and a book. The book can be for camoflauge. I would also physically turn my body away from people in negative conversations or move to another area. If someone says something to you don't like, look at them with a quizzical look, and hold your book up and start reading. If it's real bad, you need to leave the area. If you bring it to the coaches, you have become part of the mama drama. If you need to dish, it needs to be a trusted friend hopefully not a part of cheer!

^This truth. I especially love the quizzical look I do that all the time and then people just automatically know they went too far. It's perfect.