All-Star Bullying

[ACEDAD]

Can we discuss what is (and is not) cyber bullying?

There are a lot of groups that are against it and I don't think anyone is "for" it. But do we really know what "it" is?

Over the last few weeks we've had instances that were either claimed to be bullying or at least hinted they were.

Just want to make sure we can continue to have passionate debates on issues.

 

[ScottyB]

I would like to see a discussion of not how to curb the bullying but rather how to give those who are bullied, the self confidence in all the aspects of their lives to get past the bullying.

Bullying exists on so many different levels in a variety of settings, its hard to see these groups and laws having real effects on bullying.

 

[CharlotteASMom]

Thought this could be a jumping off point:

Definition of BULLY

transitive verb
1
: to treat abusively
2
: to affect by means of force or coercion
intransitive verb
: to use browbeating language or behavior : bluster

 

[mybabywantstotumble]

i think you can debate a subject without bringing in personal information. a lot of people like to be anonymous on the boards for whatever their reason may be and if you share personal information with someone via a PM, it shouldn't be brought out publicly on the board.

there is also a fine line between two people who agree on a subject debating with one person who doesn't agree and down right ganging up on someone.

 

[newcheerdad]

Cyberbullying - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A good place to start in terms of a definition. I guess I subscribe to the basic premise that if you wouldn't say it to someone's face in person, don't say it online.

Debate is fine, as long as it doesn't turn into personal hostility. Just because I disagree with someone about a particular subject doesn't mean I have to right to say mean, nasty things about them personally.

 

[CharlotteASMom]

I really like the one main sentence there

"the use of information and communication technologies to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behavior by an individual or group, that is intended to harm others"

Harm others to me is the key

 

[kristenthegreat]

I think another question is 'What is bullying' versus 'What is speaking your mind about a person or topic'.

I think this one is of utmost importance to us, because of things like social media. We have 'cheerlebrities' and various cheerleaders posting everything and anything that pops into their heads without realizing that there are consequences to their actions. And sometimes, there are consequences that involve people speaking about you in a negative way. Is that (people speaking of you negatively in response to your actions), bullying? I suppose it could be. I think it depends on context. And I think we need to make sure we don't call everything under the sun bullying, otherwise it begins to devalue what REAL bullying is. When is it 'bullying,' and when is it 'reacting.' Bullying to me is harassment based on appearance/age/race/religion/creed/sexual orientation/gender identity/etc. It can be physical, mental, or emotional. There is often very little provocation for a bully, and they will often not stop unless there's a new target or the victim either fights back/gets help.

 

[Ashley]

I think another question is 'What is bullying' versus 'What is speaking your mind about a person or topic'.

I think this one is of utmost importance to us, because of things like social media. We have 'cheerlebrities' and various cheerleaders posting everything and anything that pops into their heads without realizing that there are consequences to their actions. And sometimes, there are consequences that involve people speaking about you in a negative way. Is that (people speaking of you negatively in response to your actions), bullying? I suppose it could be. I think it depends on context. And I think we need to make sure we don't call everything under the sun bullying, otherwise it begins to devalue what REAL bullying is. When is it 'bullying,' and when is it 'reacting.' Bullying to me is harassment based on appearance/age/race/religion/creed/sexual orientation/gender identity/etc. It can be physical, mental, or emotional. There is often very little provocation for a bully, and they will often not stop unless there's a new target or the victim either fights back/gets help.

You can bully someone just because you don't like them - I don't think it's limited to protected statuses.

If you're saying something with the intention of hurting someone (even just their feelings), then refrain from it. Don't say something you wouldn't say to their face, and don't imply things that you wouldn't outright say.

 

[kristenthegreat]

You can bully someone just because you don't like them - I don't think it's limited to protected statuses.

If you're saying something with the intention of hurting someone (even just their feelings), then refrain from it. Don't say something you wouldn't say to their face, and don't imply things that you wouldn't outright say.

I was trying to make that point, I just listed the common ones because that's how my brain works lol

 

[XTREMElyfierce]

i believe bullying can be in all sorts of words.
example:
racial slurs
derogatory names
hitting someone's character without even knowing them or hearing them out.

many people say "i'll say it to your face" or "idc if someone calls me that so i can say it"
why yes i could careless if someone calls me any sort of name because personally i won't let someone ruin my day/life. but that's just me.
others just can't accept that there are always going to be people who are haters, rude, even incompetent. i just hope the people who are hurt by others over the internet look past the bullies and realize their are people who actually care about them and those are just words that people use because they aren't confident with themselves. keep your head up high and your haters down low.

KEEP CALM AND CHEER ON

 

[coach12]

Kind of glad ACEDAD brought this up. I have been holding off for a while, but i have to say that i have noticed some bullying on here. I consider myself a regular - been on here for many years, but sometimes i notice that some of the "regulars" seem to gang up on a not so regular (wouldn't say they were a newbie). a lot of making fun of people.
not trying to start a fight here - just maybe be aware of how you respond to things. there is WAY too much bullying going on in this world - whether it be in person or cyber bullying - either way it's pretty horrible & can have damaging effects on kids that you might not even realize.

So maybe think twice before you post something. a little kindness goes a long way.

 

[King]

The other problem is anyone who exerts any type of authority OR is extremely persuasive in their forcefulness can seem like bullying. Bullying is a real thing, mind you, but right now it is also quite popular that everyone is being bullied. The real answer lies somewhere in the middle. Lots of bullying cases there is a true victim... and the other half some timid people need to step up and have a stronger backbone.

After one graduates school it isn't like bullies just go away. There are bullies in ALL aspects of life. My grandpa, before he passed away, was in a nursing home and got into a fist fight with another person in the nursing home who was bullying the other residents (yes that is mildly funny). Bullies will never stop and never go away. The real difficulty is that each situation is unique and people have to decide if they were stronger would the bullying stop OR are they in a no win situation and the bully or the victim need to be away from eachother.

 

[INeverStopCheering]

There's a huge difference between debate and bullying, and it's called respect. Respect is saying I may not agree with your opinion, but that's part of a debate. Bullying is taking personal stabs at someone.
Not Bullying:

• Disagreeing over a subject
• Constructive criticism
• Pointing out the flaws in someone's argument

Bullying:

• Calling people out on personal matters, making pointed jabs
• Pointing out people's personal (un cheer related) flaws
• Being extremely critical to the point of picking apart arguments and belittling others

 

[kristenthegreat]

I agree with so much of this- while we live in a hypersensitive world, I do think we have become more open about bullying in a way that is positive. This comes with the double-edged sword of some people crying 'Bully' at every little thing, however. I agree with kingston that it IS somewhere in the middle.

However- don't dish it if you can't take it is a very familiar saying to me, one that I think might make some of this a wash. I've seen some people express their opinion, particularly in a negative way, only to claim that they're being bullied for an opinion. If you're rude and I'm calling you out on being unnecessarily rude and telling you you're a terrible person for being that rude, that's not necessarily bullying. Now, if I told you to go kill yourself, to hurt yourself, that you are the son of satan and will never amount to anything, or that your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries, THAT, to me, is bullying.

 

[canttouchthis]

some people like to cry wolf, when there "bullied" and they just need to stand up for themselves.

maybe its just me but in high school i never bullied anyone. going from private school where you knew everyone's life and what goes on in everyone's home to public school where you can be a different person at home and at school, i just didnt feel like it was place to make fun of anyone's weight looks or actions. unless there actions were negative.

all the social media and stuff was just getting big when i started high school so cyber bullying wasnt huge, but now kids at the age of 9 have a iphone and a Facebook so its much easier. i say its all on the parents to be responsible. you cant always be but you can sure raise them right.