All-Star Coaching With A Negative/coercive Approach

[FA_pinknation]

IMO yelling and degrading are two totally different things.

I agree! Obviously you have to raise your voice as a coach.
My original post was referring more to the coaches that yell things like "THAT WAS THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN" and i have even witnessed a coach yell at a girl "I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOUR FACE DURING THE ROUTINE, IT MAKES ME WANT TO PUKE ALL OVER THE MAT!!!YOU LOOK DISGUSTING IN EVERYTHING YOU DO!". That to me is not acceptable and probably not that effective either.

 

[blunchin]

i think yelling kind of goes with the job however i don't think that's the problem. now what you yell is another story. of course there are extremes in every case but i think it's pretty common to raise your voice at practice, even if it's just so your kids can hear over the other teams/music.

 

[Hungry]

I'm not a yeller. I, too, have found it to be ineffective. I don't want my athletes afraid of me, I want them to work for me. By being positive and encouraging, yet firm, I have good results.

If I do raise my voice, it's definitely a rare situation and they listen. Too much yelling and they start to tune it out and nothing gets accomplished.

I also feel that too many people (coaches, athletes, parents) think it's acceptable for a coach to yell as it's "part of the sport", any sport, and I wish more coaches found other ways of teaching and inspiring than screaming.

Of course this is my opinion and what works for me.

 

[BuegeSmalls]

I like a mix of both. I like a coach that will be hard on me and push me (but not always screaming at me) and then also praises (ugh makes me sound like a dog) when I do something right. But not one that is all "omg that was wonderful" after everything I do or is completely harsh about everything.

 

[FA_pinknation]

Not screaming does not mean you are a "soft" coach. Ask anyone who has been coached by me or seen me coach and they will tell you that I am anything but soft.
You can be firm and demanding as a coach without hollering left and right. I will give credit where credit is due but I also hold my athletes accountable and expect a lot out of them. If they respect you and you are confident in your knowledge, degrading them and screaming all the time is not a necessity. It is an approach many use but it is not the only way. Amount of screaming doesn't necessarily correlate with quality of coaching.

 

[Onfire381]

I have to somewhat disagree. CJA and Cali seem to use the 'harsher' of the two schools of thought, and still are successful. Cheer Athletics appears (from all videos I've seen) to use the 'gentler' approach.

It all comes down to the athletes and their needs. I'll never say that your way, my way, or anyone's way is better. Each is different. Its basically a Pepsi vs Coke situation.

I didn't think CJA came from the "harsher" school, then again our previous gym had a coach who screamed, belittled, and cursed at the kids (even the little ones), so my judgement may be a little clouded...lol!

 

[XtremeWpg]

I didn't think CJA came from the "harsher" school, then again our previous gym had a coach who screamed, belittled, and cursed at the kids (even the little ones), so my judgement may be a little clouded...lol!

I'm basing it on Patti Ann. The girl has her moments! But she is also balanced with them (to me anyway!)

 

[Onfire381]

I'm basing it on Patti Ann. The girl has her moments! But she is also balanced with them (to me anyway!)

You've got that right, but she loves each and every kid in her gym and the kids know it, but they respect her and don't want to make her mad.

 

[ASCheerMan]

It shouldn't be about 'how much yelling' is appropriate. It should be ALWAYS be about strategically getting the best out of your athletes. Sometimes, that may mean raising your voice, sometimes that's tough love, sometimes that's really gentle or positive encouragement. Coaches that yell 'because they're mad' or because they're frustrated aren't being productive. Our jobs are to get our athletes to produce and there are different ways to do that.

Every choice of action should be strategic and deliberate. One time, I coached with a guy who'd get REALLY frustrated when athletes were tardy. When practice started one day, we were missing 7 out of the 30 girls. So he yelled and lectured the 23 that were there for 15 minutes. ....then, we started practice and the other 7 arrived--the 7 that would have actually benefited from his words. He wasn't yelling/lecturing to have a positive impact . He was yelling to hear himself vent and blow off steam.

It's kind of like spanking your kids when you are angry vs. teaching them a lesson.

#thatisall

 

[CricketCheerMom]

My opinion is that respectful yelling is A-OK. In the Senior divisions. Youth Silver? Not so much.

You never should degrade someone - so, yes....it is about knowing your athletes. But if everyone was able to guide and internally motivate themselves....at all times....how much would coaching be needed? Sometimes Senior age athletes get goofy and need a bit of reigning in. If you are 12 or 13 and can't handle that, then cheer on a Junior level team.

I do also think the level of commitment and intention of the team factors in. Cali Coed is obviously a high stakes serious team. Don't want that level or pressure and need to perform? Then don't play that game. There are teams out there where it is more about fun.....even at the Senior level. So match your commitment level with the commitment level expected from the team.

I agree that is why my CP's has confessed she just doesn't want the pressure and is at a different gym on a yth 2 team for her last year of youth eligibility. She was on a SR 3 team for a couple years.

 

[CheerBank]

I didn't think CJA came from the "harsher" school, then again our previous gym had a coach who screamed, belittled, and cursed at the kids (even the little ones), so my judgement may be a little clouded...lol!

Our first gym was chock full of everything you mentioned. I was always thankful that both my cps were neither the best nor worst cheerleaders on their teams; it was the two extremes that seemed to bear the brunt of the tirades. It did cause them both to grow thick skins quickly, I will say that. And my cp who still cheers is basically now phased by nothing in terms of coaches yelling.

I have to say though that I look back now and wonder why I thought this kind of coaching was acceptable toward such young children. I'd like to just chalk it up to being a naive newbie cheer mom who thought this was how cheer was coached. I know much better now.

 

[Onfire381]

Our first gym was chock full of everything you mentioned. I was always thankful that both my cps were neither the best nor worst cheerleaders on their teams; it was the two extremes that seemed to bear the brunt of the tirades. It did cause them both to grow thick skins quickly, I will say that. And my cp who still cheers is basically now phased by nothing in terms of coaches yelling.

I have to say though that I look back now and wonder why I thought this kind of coaching was acceptable toward such young children. I'd like to just chalk it up to being a naive newbie cheer mom who thought this was how cheer was coached. I know much better now.

Exactly, when you don't know any better, you think that this is normal (how could cursing and belittling kids be normal). My daughter is just like yours as in she wasn't the worst or the best so she never really got yelled at, but let me tell you I saw some of it with my own eyes and ears and told my daughter if she ever treated you like that, to just walk out of the gym and call me and I would handle it.

 

[kickdblcj]

I yell when I need to. Teenage girls are not generally known for being quiet. You cant blow rainbows and sunshine up your kids butts all the time. They sometimes need a reality check. Coaching is a lot like parenting; you cant always be nice, but you shouldnt always be mean either. I try to keep my yelling to a minimum tho because it loses its effect after a while. If I yell my kids know play time is over and that they need to get their job done. I once had a coach who cursed non stop and yelled 24/7 it got to the point where kids would just laugh at how mad he got and basically lost all respect for him.

 

[JulieP]

I am definitely a yeller. Positive or negative, I can't help it- I am a loud coach. I am generally brutally honest with my kids. Rarely does a stunt come down that I don't have a correction to give. That being said, I try to include the positive, and if people don't make corrections, I generally flip out a bit. I think my teams are used to me and my yelling (and they're older, so it's not like I am yelling at Mini 1s), and I would like to think that they know that I am honest and tough on them because I want them to be successful. When they get critiques on a scoresheet, I want them to be things they've heard from me before, so it drives the point home and so they know that I am doing my best to give them the best shot they can have.

 

[INeverStopCheering]

I think there's a hug difference between yelling and being loud. I'm a loud person. I project. You can hear my voice across the room. But when I yell I take harsher tone and my voice will be lower

If we're defining yelling as just talking loud then I yell at my kids every single second of practice.
One of my coaching philosophies is how can I make this more productive? I don't sugar coat, but I often feel like "yelling" is just coaches being angry not actually saying anything productive. For example:
"Susie what is wrong with you?? Why can't you stay in the air??" This does not give Susie any positive direction to go in, all you did was ask her a question she can't answer. Waste. Of. Air.

Instead saying "Susie, I need you to stay in the air, so I really want you to focus on squeezing your butt. I need you to squeeze ok?" Now Suzie knows that she's doing something wrong, but she knows what to do to fix it
Don't waste your air yelling and screaming things that aren't going to get you anywhere