OT Bullying Coaches?

[Joanna]

Is it common and how should you handle it? I'm about to change gym just because of that and I have a lot of mixed feelings. I cant go to competitions and stand up for and be proud of this gym when I know how other coaches behave and treat their cheerleaders.. All the trash talk at coaches meetings, favoritism, coaches making faces, rolling eyes and stuff to specific persons at practise, coches who ignore some athletes on the team... (i know good athletes that never will be able to make a competing team just because the coaches doesnt like them) I´ve heard coaches talk bad about girls from their team in front of other girls of the same team/other teams in the gym.
On the other hand it doesnt feel quite right to just leave everything.. I feel bad for the kids..
The problem is that there isn't anyone in the gym to talk to about the problem.. All the head coaches and respected people are involved in the bullying.. what should I do?

Sorry about my english.. it isnt my first language..

 

[MissBee]

I would leave, and tell the owner in an email exactly why.

 

[CheerBank]

Coaches should be leading by example. If they are acting this way I can only imagine how some of the athletes and parents are behaving. While I would also feel bad about leaving because of some of the kids, your staying is not going to change anything as you mentioned that all the higher ups are the perpetrators. Leave now while you have your dignity intact and let people know why you are leaving.

 

[cupieqt]

Leave now and let them know why by telling them or sending an email stating exactly what you said above.

In order for there to be trust and loyalty, there has to be respect first.

 

[ErinS]

My sister went through a similar situation with her high school team/training at an all star facility. The coaches that worked with them were extremely demeaning and degrading. The would simply yell and tell them vulgar things that I am not repeating and would say things like "You're so stupid, why do I pay taxes for you to go to school". My mom contacted the owner and he denied it. The high school coach denied it. The owner then tried to say "well those coaches don't work here any more so everything is fine"...no, its not fine because you allowed something like that to take place in your business. Several girls opted to no longer cheer because they simply didn't want to have to train at that gym. My mom decided that she wasn't going to pay for her child to train some place where she got mistreated, so the school district paid (her sophomore year). For my sisters junior year my mom opted to give this gym another chance. Clean slate. First day of training at the gym, the owner badgered my sister about why she cheered all stars elsewhere, and she needed to come do it at his gym etc to the point where she left nearly in tears (meanwhile the high school coach sat there and laughed)

Long story short. They got a new hs coach, and no longer have to be affiliated with that gym unless they choose to.

Leave. You are a paying customer and you don't have to put up with that treatment

 

[XTREMElyfierce]

i would leave, those type of coaches and gyms never make it.

 

[SharkDad]

I firmly believe you should always give someone a chance to answer to concerns you have. That way you can leave knowing you tried to make it better.

BUT

You should never have to put up with being in a negative environment. You're leaving may be the best thing for the other kids to see that too.

 

[Joanna]

Thank you for all the comments. Writing a letter to the owners sounds like a great idea, I will definitely do that! Then it's up to them what to do with that information. They will probably do nothing, but if the owners doesn't want to do anything about it nothing will ever change anyway..

There is a lot of cheer-divas on the teams, just hanging around, only doing what they like at that moment(because they know that they can, they are the coaches favorites and will never be kicked of the team, no matter what...) ..and a LOT of bad attitudes, so the coaches are definitely affecting the athletes behaviors.. They also end up with a lot of very insecure kids..
A team with a lot of divas with a bad attitude and insecure girls isn't a really fun team to be on, and even less fun with a bad coach=/ ...

In some way I really wish that they wouldn't "make it" because of this, but somehow they always do.. It doesn't matter that people behave like they do, that the atmosphere at practice are really bad and everything is just... chaos.. They always manage to put it together .. Its a respected gym, a lot of people look up to us, the coaches are involved in our countries national association, judging and stuff like that. I feel like they are getting away with it and it's so frustrating..

I'll try and write a letter. Hopefully they take it seriously and start working with it, but it will be without me... I can't think of any other way to try to make it better but at least I will have tried something... And as you said (SharkDad) leaving may be a great thing to do. There is also a possibility that the gym looses a few other coaches and athletes this season (for the same or similar reasons) and hopefully that will make the massage more clear.