All-Star Bullying

[kristenthegreat]

That's one of the big differences between this generation of kids and my generation (which isn't THAT long ago) - the internet. Twitter and facebook can make kids famous in ways that they don't intend. But the question still remains - should a 16-year-old's twitter feed be fair game on a message board, even if it is public?

If it shouldn't- should the person even be allowed to have one in the first place? Not saying that people of all ages can't have opinions and express them, but if people 'can't' be held responsible for what they're publicly releasing to the world, should they be given that privilege to begin with?

Also- a 16 year old can be tried as an adult in some instances. Mature enough to have it, mature enough to deal with the consequences?

 

[King]

That's one of the big differences between this generation of kids and my generation (which isn't THAT long ago) - the internet. Twitter and facebook can make kids famous in ways that they don't intend. But the question still remains - should a 16-year-old's twitter feed be fair game on a message board, even if it is public?

Should is a moot question, unfortunately.

This is the reality we live in and if you have a twitter account with 5k followers you are now a public figure.

 

[newcheerdad]

Should is a moot question, unfortunately.

This is the reality we live in and if you have a twitter account with 5k followers you are now a public figure.

Hey, I'm one of those guys that's always said that fame isn't all it's cracked up to be, and that if you choose to put yourself out there you open yourself to criticism - or worse. But on the flip side, I can make the conscious decision not to feed into that. It isn't necessary to bring up the 16-year-old kid's twitter feed or the pics that the quasi-cheerlebrity posted on Facebook, especially when it's not adding anything to the conversation.

 

[canttouchthis]

I don't think a fine line can exist. I am not against one, but the not talking badly about minors rule is one of the ways to prevent cyber bullying. I want encourage as much positive talk AND thought out discourse as is reasonably possible without being a personal attack on a minor on something outside the said skills. If that minor (or their parents) so chooses to put themselves in a position of the public eye for display then they are encouraging discussion, positive or negative, about that person. So if you can find a way to define that... I will be impressed.

thats way passed any of my abilities but i will think about it!

 

[King]

Hey, I'm one of those guys that's always said that fame isn't all it's cracked up to be, and that if you choose to put yourself out there you open yourself to criticism - or worse. But on the flip side, I can make the conscious decision not to feed into that. It isn't necessary to bring up the 16-year-old kid's twitter feed or the pics that the quasi-cheerlebrity posted on Facebook, especially when it's not adding anything to the conversation.

I think a large part of the cyber bullying problem is this is the first generation to have the internet. This generation is making all the possible mistakes one can BUT the next generation (or this generations kids) will know better.

I know my wife and I have already talked about how to handle and deal with our kids and social media. We have also seen many parents be successful with their kids and it (it is possible!).

And as for bullying I know my personal approach I know it is going to have to be an even handed one. Parts preventing it and the other part raising my kid to be tough to withstand some of it.

 

[dawgshow]

Also- a 16 year old can be tried as an adult in some instances. Mature enough to have it, mature enough to deal with the consequences?

That's my general opinion. However, that doesn't mean that just because you CAN rip apart someone on the Internet that you SHOULD. Character comes into play here. What I hope to teach every young child that I have influence over is that the Golden Rule still applies. Don't act like a thug because Karma is watching. Hmm maybe I'll call that the gold chain rule.

 

[King]

That's my general opinion. However, that doesn't mean that just because you CAN rip apart someone on the Internet that you SHOULD. Character comes into play here. What I hope to teach every young child that I have influence over is that the Golden Rule still applies. Don't act like a thug because Karma is watching. Hmm maybe I'll call that the gold chain rule.

But you as a person can't rely on what people should or should not do. If someone can do something they probably will. Twitter is anonymous and allows pretty much everyone to say whatever they want with little consequence. Wanna call that girl ugly and make yourself feel bigger? You can, she'll see it, and no one will know it was you. This is the reality we live in.

 

[dawgshow]

But you as a person can't rely on what people should or should not do. If someone can do something they probably will. Twitter is anonymous and allows pretty much everyone to say whatever they want with little consequence. Wanna call that girl ugly and make yourself feel bigger? You can, she'll see it, and no one will know it was you. This is the reality we live in.

I agree. I have no control over what others do. All I can do is teach my children and students what is right, what potential consequences there are to their actions, and help them develop the skills to cope with those consequences. There are consequences to posting in Twitter. They may not directly touch the poster, but someone is affected. That needs to be understood by everyone who uses the Internet.

 

[King]

I agree. I have no control over what others do. All I can do is teach my children and students what is right, what potential consequences there are to their actions, and help them develop the skills to cope with those consequences. There are consequences to posting in Twitter. They may not directly touch the poster, but someone is affected. That needs to be understood by everyone who uses the Internet.

And THAT is the true way to combat bullying. Educate people what types of situations can lead to bullying and how to avoid them. If they can't be avoided how to cope with whatever situation may arise. Give the kids who might get bullied the skills to avoid or cope with it. It's not that bullying is right, it's that it will always exist. Let's be pragmatic about this and come up with real solutions.

 

[MomMomMamaMom]

But you as a person can't rely on what people should or should not do..... This is the reality we live in.

This is almost exactly what I have said to my preteen...There is nothing anyone can do about what others think it is okay to do. And while I've stopped short of saying, "toughen up", I have been known to say, if it's not working out for you, it's pretty easy for us to "unplug.".

I also agree that the "adolescent stages" of social media reality is the true issue....people are still adjusting to their online personas. The anonymity makes it different than face to face interaction, and the sheer numbers make it easier to find other people who will agree, or disagree with you. I think with time it will be easier to differentiate between personas. There is something rather "freshman" about this newer ability to share your every thought to millions...and I'm not sure it' easy to grasp the idea yet there is more going on then the self importance of broadcasting yourself.

 

[King]

This is almost exactly what I have said to my preteen...There is nothing anyone can do about what others think it is okay to do. And while I've stopped short of saying, "toughen up", I have been known to say, if it's not working out for you, it's pretty easy for us to "unplug.".

I also agree that the "adolescent stages" of social media reality is the true issue....people are still adjusting to their online personas. The anonymity makes it different than face to face interaction, and the sheer numbers make it easier to find other people who will agree, or disagree with you. I think with time it will be easier to differentiate between personas. There is something rather "freshman" about this newer ability to share your every thought to millions...and I'm not sure it' easy to grasp the idea yet there is more going on then the self importance of broadcasting yourself.

As a parent it hard to know when to be sensitive to the issue and when to be tough. I have found through coaching most people to gravitate to either one extreme and not hover in the middle. But the middle, even if not always perfect, is the proper place to be. Sometimes you gotta hug it out, and sometimes you gotta tell em to stop whining.

 

[MomMomMamaMom]

I agree. I have no control over what others do. All I can do is teach my children and students what is right, what potential consequences there are to their actions, and help them develop the skills to cope with those consequences. There are consequences to posting in Twitter. They may not directly touch the poster, but someone is affected. That needs to be understood by everyone who uses the Internet.

I want you to teach my kids too . I have a hard time grasping the potential consequences....the permanence/impermanence thing kills me intellectually. It's kind of like the "permanent record" stuff they used to talk about when I was in school....I felt like it was a hoax when I finally grew up. For which I am glad, but for my kids, there will be a permanent record.

I haven't let my kids forage into the online world too much as of yet. So I am still dealing with texting only. But my oldest swears that when she is 13 the universe is hers...and I'd love to pick your brain before she gets there.

 

[mygirlluvs2fly]

As a parent it hard to know when to be sensitive to the issue and when to be tough. I have found through coaching most people to gravitate to either one extreme and not hover in the middle. But the middle, even if not always perfect, is the proper place to be. Sometimes you gotta hug it out, and sometimes you gotta tell em to stop whining.

As a parent and educator, it is often difficult to hover in the "middle". Depending upon the situation and the effect it has on a child, gravitating to one side or the other may be necessary.

It is extremely important, in my opinion, that adults take the initiative to positively affect the children in their presence and teach them to value the individual. We all have differing opinions and experiences, which shape the way we all behave. What I consider to be appropriate conversation, another individual may see as being inappropriate; therefore, when dealing with social media, I have taught my children to read what you post at least twice prior to posting. If it can be misconstrued in any manner, reconsider what you have typed.

 

[TheUltimateFan]

.......

Now does some trolling morph into a form of cyberbullying? Sure. And at that point, I think appropriate steps need to be taken. One thing that I think we can do (especially the adults in the room) is make sure we raise the level of discourse on the board. I think it's ok to challenge someone or have disagreements with them, as long as said disagreements remain civil. It's up to us to help identify when things are going off the rails and steer threads back to productive discourse.

....Instead of just deleting it. Every time a controversial thread is deleted or locked we, as adults and responsible youth, lose the opportunity to coach and teach the participants back to having an appropriate dialogue, online or offline via PMs.

All that remains is that someone here thinks they had the 'last word' on the subject. Nobody's attitude or opinion has really been turned around and nobody has succeeded in getting their point across. That act of selective or complete deletion or locking a thread accomplishes nothing and achieves nothing of permanent value.

Delete any personal attacks or innapropriate disclosures related to minors. But let the dialogue run its natural course. Peer pressure is a powerful weapon and no bully can stand up against it.

 

[King]

....Instead of just deleting it. Every time a controversial thread is deleted or locked we, as adults and responsible youth, lose the opportunity to coach and teach the participants back to having an appropriate dialogue, online or offline via PMs.

All that remains is that someone here thinks they had the 'last word' on the subject. Nobody's attitude or opinion has really been turned around and nobody has succeeded in getting their point across. That act of selective or complete deletion or locking a thread accomplishes nothing and achieves nothing of permanent value.

Delete any personal attacks or innapropriate disclosures related to minors. But let the dialogue run its natural course. Peer pressure is a powerful weapon and no bully can stand up against it.

What is the difference between peer pressure and bullying?

Threads will be locked now with a reason, as well as the ability for the users to close them. We will use thread deletion as a lost option. I might up the amount of people it takes to lock a thread. As far as responding... open a different thread! That is NOT an earth shattering idea.