All-Star Bullying

[12stepCheermom]

12stepCheermom well at the schools i have attended, they couldn't tell you what you could do. i think it might differ by state

Possibly. I can't remember if the judicial rulings that govern us were at the federal district level. If so, those decisions only apply to the states within that circuit court of appeals district. I don't think the US supreme court has ruled on one of these cases yet, when they do it will become the standard applied in all 50 states. I'm sure they'll pick a case to make a decision on before long if they haven't already.

 

[canttouchthis]

Possibly. I can't remember if the judicial rulings that govern us were at the federal district level. If so, those decisions only apply to the states within that circuit court of appeals district. I don't think the US supreme court has ruled on one of these cases yet, when they do it will become the standard applied in all 50 states. I'm sure they'll pick a case to make a decision on before long if they haven't already.

i think they should be able to control what you do online especially if your a minor but at my schools i know that they couldnt.
although some will feel that its invasion of privacy

 

[12stepCheermom]

i think they should be able to control what you do online especially if your a minor but at my schools i know that they couldnt.
although some will feel that its invasion of privacy

Although the Tinker case said "students didn't lose their constitutional rights at the school house door" the court has progressively curtailed that as cases have come up. Student rights are very clearly limited while they're at school now, speech (like In school newspapers etc), expression (even though that's an implied right), search and seizure etc. Generally the standard they've applied gets to what disrupts the school environment for others or causes security concerns. The court has been pretty consistent in saying if your right to say/do what you want infringes on another's right to learn or be safe at school....you don't have that right. I don't see them changing that train of thought where cyber issues are concerned. But you never know until the case comes up.

 

[canttouchthis]

Although the Tinker case said "students didn't lose their constitutional rights at the school house door" the court has progressively curtailed that as cases have come up. Student rights are very clearly limited while they're at school now, speech (like In school newspapers etc), expression (even though that's an implied right), search and seizure etc. Generally the standard they've applied gets to what disrupts the school environment for others or causes security concerns. The court has been pretty consistent in saying if your right to say/do what you want infringes on another's right to learn or be safe at school....you don't have that right. I don't see them changing that train of thought where cyber issues are concerned. But you never know until the case comes up.

yeah sometimes you think there going to rule one way then BAM opposite direction!

 

[Emily]

When I was bullied (6th grade), all I wished for was that the teachers would see that the "angels" of the class weren't that.
Even by the teachers I was accused to lie about the bullying, when it simply was not possible that they didn't hear or see anything. I understand that they were not able to know what was going on outside of the classroom, but during their lessons - no way they didn't notice a thing.
The leaders of the bullies were the "good girls" - they had great grades, were involved in the community, went to church every week with their parents, etc. And my teachers simply refused to believe that they bullied me. My teachers were like the person in the video around 1:14 who said that the kids on the school bus do behave. Well, of course they behave when an adult is on there to watch them.

What educators can do about bullying? They have to be aware that bullying is going on, especially when they are not present. They can educate parents and kids on how to react to bullying. I think that most bullies could be stopped in the "early phases" if someone would speak up. The longer the bullying goes on, the harder it is to stop.

 

[MomMomMamaMom]

I feel like it is important for ANYONE who has influence, care and control of kids to spend the necessary time to educate themselves about social media, it's potential consequences and the world that kids face today. I am not totally certain that it's their job to monitor social media behavior, but I am COMPLETELY certain that it is their job to be aware of it. I firmly believe that that is okay for a school to have consequences for cyber bullying etc.

But, I also see how adults act online, and it kind of scares me. I think there need to be more examples of proper behavior for kids to follow.

But, again, I get lost with the permanence/impermanence thing. It's easy to say you can ignore something, and in all reality, in some instances, it seems unlikely that every thing said on a board will follow you. With things like Facebook, Twitter, Texts and discussion boards, it is never very long before the next status/tweet/text/discussion takes precedence, and the rest is pretty much forgotten. Because of this, it's easy to say whatever is on your mind, because it disappears pretty quickly.

However, it's also easy for someone else to find, since it never totally goes away, and it's easy for it to become a pattern.

In my mind bullying has to have the repeated aspect to be bullying, so I don't know which of the permanence/impermanence is the actual reality that most people perceive.

 

[kristenthegreat]

Can you really 'escape' anything? A note taped to your locker, a 'fake' friend finding ways around your block controls to hate-spam your facebook, someone getting a hold of your phone number to text you constantly..it becomes removing your online life and becoming what is essentially a social-media outcast, or box yourself in under the pressure of being 'liked' while simultaneously being 'bullied.'

The team manager for my girls volleyball team had a formspring. Neither my mother nor the head coach had any idea what it was. Once I explained it to them, they both immediately met with him and suggested he delete it which curbed the behavior quite a bit. He was luckier than most, in that his bullies were REAL cowards and needed the anonymity. Some are more than happy to have their names blasted on it.

 

[Mamalle]

My daughter has been a victim of relational aggression from 2 girls she has cheered with. its becoming more common, a form of bullying and predominately in the middle school age girls. FB has really made it viral. I did approach her coaches last summer and even offered some links that I used for my education with students at school but did not get a receptive response. I think coaches need to be more cautious and a zero tolerance policy should be initiated at the gyms regarding bullying. There are way too many stories with devastating outcomes.

 

[cachoi]

I was bullied from 3rd-10th grade. I'm heavy, I'm Asian, I'm outspoken aka a great target. Most of my bullies were just bored classmates with no actual ax to grind. I only escaped those bullies by moving away. There was never any physical bullying so all the administration could do was just ask them to stop.

We have to find a way to make kids realize that what they say really does hurt and that it can scar their victims emotionally, mentally and physically for the rest of their lives. My cousin went to South Hadley High, the infamous school where girls and boys bullied Phoebe Prince so badly that she committed suicide. They all said that they didn't mean what they said and didn't think their words and actions were enough to make someone feel that way. I think parents and administrators need to do their absolute best when such problems arise instead of think it will be worked out on its own. They need to stress that it isn't actually funny to make fun of someone and that their victims take those words to heart and can resort to harming themselves to escape. Hopefully it'll click with the bully and they'll have enough self control to not call names, start rumors or post on social media. Kids also need to learn that keeping it to themselves isn't safe and they won't be "snitching" on their bullies. Coaches/mentors/babysitters/any one else who has contact with children need to be outlets that they can ask for help. Most of the time kids won't listen to what their parents are saying and if the same advice is coming from someone they look up to, they'll suddenly get it.

When I was bullied there weren't any cyber bullying laws so I think it's a huge step when states and schools adopt them. MTV used to have a show about an event where a speaker came and students would break into groups to talk freely. After that, a lot of people changed their minds about their peers and even one bully apologized to his victim after hearing how he really made him feel and they became friends. I would have definitely suggested it to my administration when I was younger.

Sorry for the novel, I just get really passionate about it because of my personal experiences and how hard this issue is to solve.

 

[Ally13]

I don't really understand how schools could regulate things online. Most of that takes place at home not during school. It's more of the parents job to monitor that. But at my school, you can be punished for cyber bullying if it gets "brought into the school," and starts causing drama or disrupting school.

 

[kristenthegreat]

If you wouldn't put it on a billboard in front of your house, don't write it online. Period.

 

[canttouchthis]

cachoi i loved that show, i think it should go to all schools

 

[cheercurl]

I was bullied from 3rd-10th grade. I'm heavy, I'm Asian, I'm outspoken aka a great target. Most of my bullies were just bored classmates with no actual ax to grind. I only escaped those bullies by moving away. There was never any physical bullying so all the administration could do was just ask them to stop.

We have to find a way to make kids realize that what they say really does hurt and that it can scar their victims emotionally, mentally and physically for the rest of their lives. My cousin went to South Hadley High, the infamous school where girls and boys bullied Phoebe Prince so badly that she committed suicide. They all said that they didn't mean what they said and didn't think their words and actions were enough to make someone feel that way. I think parents and administrators need to do their absolute best when such problems arise instead of think it will be worked out on its own. They need to stress that it isn't actually funny to make fun of someone and that their victims take those words to heart and can resort to harming themselves to escape. Hopefully it'll click with the bully and they'll have enough self control to not call names, start rumors or post on social media. Kids also need to learn that keeping it to themselves isn't safe and they won't be "snitching" on their bullies. Coaches/mentors/babysitters/any one else who has contact with children need to be outlets that they can ask for help. Most of the time kids won't listen to what their parents are saying and if the same advice is coming from someone they look up to, they'll suddenly get it.

When I was bullied there weren't any cyber bullying laws so I think it's a huge step when states and schools adopt them. MTV used to have a show about an event where a speaker came and students would break into groups to talk freely. After that, a lot of people changed their minds about their peers and even one bully apologized to his victim after hearing how he really made him feel and they became friends. I would have definitely suggested it to my administration when I was younger.

Sorry for the novel, I just get really passionate about it because of my personal experiences and how hard this issue is to solve.

I am sorry that you had to experience that...thank you for sharing some great advice.

 

[cheercurl]

I think real change will happen when people who are participating by not intervening or knowingly ignoring what they see finally have a change of heart.

I don't think people understand that they are participants when they turn there heads. Make no mistake you are part of the problem when you ignore, turn your head or watch from a distance. Just as much as if you were doing the bullying your self. Get help, get an adult.

If this changes the whole climate of bullying will change. I hope this happens soon.

 

[cachoi]

canttouchthis Me too, it really looked like it was doing some good. I know it hit home for a lot of people to see real teens talk about the same situations that they've been in.

cheercurl Thank you. It's so heart breaking to read about those who commit suicide because of bullying. Some of them are right around the age of the girls I coach. I can't even imagine being that age again with all this new upgraded technology that helps bullies hide their identity even more.