High School Cheer Is Not Going Too Well... Help! :(

[ca_Rachel]

So this year cheer has just not been going well. Since January I have had pain in my forearm whenever I tumble. Long story short its been going on still and I've tried lots of things like physical therapy and TONS of rest. I made a team at Cheer Athletics Austin and was so excited but then it started to go bad... My arm started feeling worse because we were tumbling a lot and it was hurting more and more. Then they made me a base which I've never based, only flown and basing hurt my arm a ton. I eventually had to quit which was the hardest thing ever because its been my dream to do competitive cheer. And I'm sad because its working out for my friend who is also doing it but I had to quit Then varsity cheer started again. I've always flown at school, never ever done anything else, when all of a sudden my coach pulled me aside and told me she's having me front spot so as to not harm my arm and for other reasons. I had already told her many times that it doesn't hurt to fly... things like tumbling or basing hurt it. I started thinking what if she thinks I'm a bad flyer or something and thats why she took me out! I finally asked her about it and she said yes there are other reasons. I told her I started to overreact and think she thought I was horrible! She hesitated and said "your not horrible but there are just smaller freshman girls coming in that hold themselves differently and I decided not to have you fly, but that doesn't mean you won't fly ever again..." Okayyy well I'm thinking these freshman girls are not as experienced, I'm a junior and this is my fifth year flying, I'm not like the most amazing flyer in the world but I'm good for our squad (btw we are not super competitive... we're at a private school where everyone makes varsity even if they aren't that good...). Also I'm not the biggest flyer. There's this senior who is 5'3 and bigger than me and weights more and her bases are always struggling to lift her... they can't even get her solidly to extension. My coach is having me front spot her group because they need the help and so i'm having to lift a lot which hurts my arm a lot. So me, my good friend who did the competitive team with me, and the senior are the ones with most experience at flying, but the senior has always struggled yet she's never been pulled out... she's always been the one to get to do the main stunts while I've always been the flyer put to the side and I just feel neglected sometimes. There are three newer flyers: a senior, this freshman, and this sophomore (actually flew last year but wasn't very good but the reason they fly her is because she's light). So they all don't really have good technique... they don't squeeze and they have sloppy motions and aren't very flexible. I don't see how they can hold themselves differently... I squeeze and do whatever I'm told to the best of my abilities. I know exactly what a flyer should do... I can watch a stunt and tell you most likely what could be fixed that will help. The newer flyers ask me for help. I am not a big girl. Now I just feel insecure because my coach says I'm bigger then them... yes I'm bigger but I'm definitely not the biggest. I don't weight as much as the senior. I hit 5 foot at 15 and yeah I grew an inch or so by the time I was 16 but I am still not the tallest. It just doesn't make logical sense! And I've always felt like my coach ever since I joined cheer has never really given me a full chance. I've never been the flyer to get to do the main stunts... never even given a chance to try it, it was just always handed to the senior who bases struggle to lift. Flying isn't about seniority its about skill. How do we know she's better than me if I'm never given a chance and she can't fully get it herself. The only impressive thing I know I'm good at is baskets and my coach actually let me be main for those. And finally we're actually focusing on trying to do cool and advanced stunts regularly and not just for our homecoming pep rally. Finally we're trying all these cool routines weekly for football games. And I'm not getting to do it. I'm sorry this is probably annoying and selfish and whiny and jealous sounding but I needed to get it out of my system. I just don't understand!!! It hurts me a lot and has made me kinda insecure... I'm sad and I've cried a lot and my coach actually called my mom after we had talked to let her know and she said she felt bad and knew I was really hurt... I didn't cry in front of her because I didn't want her to feel bad but she could tell I was holding back because tears were coming to my eyes. And overall its just been hard so everything is building upon each other. My arm is injured and it won't heel even though I've rested for months and I absolutely love tumbling, I had to quit competitive cheer, I was taken out of flying which was my favorite thing ever, my arm hurts front spotting, friends at cheer are kinda difficult because the girls in my grade were exclusive for a while and I invited them to hang out for my sweet 16 and they said they would come and then no one showed up (except for my friend who did competitive and is a flyer), and friends at school in general have been difficult because my school is very clique-y and my best friends stopped talking to me freshman year and got their friends to be mean to me and since then I've still had problems knowing where I belong... I have friends in different groups. Gahhh I'm sorry its just been hard in high school so far and I needed to let it all out :'(

I'm just mainly sad at the moment about not getting to fly for school because thats the most recent thing. Everything else just builds on each other.

Sorry if I was annoying... :'(

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

I'm sorry things are not going well for you.

Some thoughts from a coaching perspective:

Not everyone can be a flyer for the entirety of their cheer career. Really. We recently had a thread about this.

Depending on the team's composition from year to year, new girls, the team's needs, etc. girls end up transitioning to basing or backing.

The key thing to remember here is that cheer is a TEAM sport. Not an "I neeeeeed to fly or I'm worthless" sport. Because how many stunts can go up without a base or back? Zero.

Girls are of the most value to teams when they are VERSATILE and willing/able to meet the team's needs in multiple ways.

So don't look at it as "losing a flyer spot" but more like gaining a NEW skill that makes you a better athlete.

If being a flyer supersedes your interest in putting the team's needs before your own, then maybe it might be time to take a break.

 

[alexacheer2010]

Your coach is making the best decision for the team at the time. If you are best suited to front spot right now, you have to take that on. I understand you're upset, high school is a lot of drama and pressure and stuff I would never go back to again! Take a deep breath, try to look at the positives in the situation. Example: you still get to cheer with your friend.


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[Cheer Dad]

You mentioned physical therapy for your arm. What have the doctors said may be the problem and have you followed up work them so they know the PT may not be working?


What's next, deleted posts?

 

[Official OWECheer]

Don't worry, you're not being annoying. It's healthy to get all of this off of your chest. I skimmed the response, but it sounds like you need to talk to your coach about your arm. Staying silent about an injury will only make it worse.

Flyers aren't the only people in a stunt group. You have to stop define yourself by your stunt position.

 

[cheerforeverever]

1. What is your arm injury specifically? If the PT is not helping & you are still in pain, that is an issue for completing ANY physical activity, as there could be further injury or underlying issues still (flyer, base, front, tumbler, dance superstar, whatever. doesn't matter). You need to get well FIRST, before trying to push and work on skills. Don't make the injury worse.

Side story: When I was in HS, we had a flyer that kept telling the coach "my back hurts. It doesn't hurt to fly though! I just cant do scales or scorpions". My coach did not take ANY chances with safety though. Was she upset that my coach took her out of the air? Yes, she was super mad because she believed it was her spot ONLY. What if she had gotten caught wrong in a cradle or fallen a strange way while trying a new stunt though? What if her back one day gave out or she got hit wrong and ended up paralyzed because she was pushing it when injured? The possibilities are endless for further injury when someone is not at 100%. It is just not worth it in the long run.

2. This is going to sound harsh, but its not about YOU. This is a team. Your coach did not sit there and think "Yes. I should keep this girl in the air because she won't do anything else". That is not how a team works. Is it always fair? No. Life is not fair. Sometimes it sucks. But you make the best out of whatever is handed to you.

3. STOP comparing yourself to others on the team. Analyzing every minuscule difference will not change anything. You admitted it yourself : you are not the best flyer or base or front at the moment. If you want to see changes, then work for it. Show the coach that you are versatile & working hard to be the best you can be, no matter the position. This is another life lesson: No one is going to just hand you what you want. (because you can sure as heck bet that a coach would not put someone as a certain spot just because they don't want to do anything else + do not work to the HARDEST ability they can to keep that spot....that goes for both conditioning/stretching at home and at practice)

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

^^^Yes.

From a coaching perspective, if a girl repeatedly says "I can't base or back because of my injury. I can only fly" that's not getting her any closer to flying.

If a girl is complaining about pain from backing or basing, yet not the most flexible flyer on the team, she's actually closer to SITTING OUT than she is to getting what she wants because:

1. She's clearly injured.
2. She is of no benefit to me as a flyer.
3. Basing or backing appear to cause her pain.

If you were on my team, you'd probably be sitting out to see a Dr. to be honest. You have to get well. If you further injure yourself, you could very well end up not cheering at all.

 

[Big_Sis]

My heart really hurts for you right now.

I'm assistant coaching for my little sister's high school varsity squad and since I'm only a few years older (in college), the girls kinda talk to me more and it also hasn't been that long since I was IN high school so I honestly feel your pain. There's a lot of stuff bout high school that sucks, for real, and you're gettin a lot of the suckage right now. You can't follow your dream at CA, it hurts to tumble, you're not getting to fly, friends don't have your back, everything is changing and life feels messed up. As painful as all this is, it's actually normal! Man, life changes like that (snap!) but the better you learn how to adapt to those changes the better you'll do. It really is a matter of perspective & deciding you will handle it in a positive way and just wait to see what happens next.

No, it's not fair. Totally unfair. Life sure does not give any you-know-whats about fairness.

Lil Sis cheered for 5 years in elementary & middle and was always tiniest one but almost never got to fly coz the coach put her own kid in that position. Straight up favoritism and Lil never really got to practice even basic stunts. She gets to high school & she's way behind everyone else (in flying/stunting). She's had to work like a dog to try and catch up but they always put her with the weakest bases coz she was the smallest so she still wasn't able to try anything complicated. Then she missed half the year coz she had to have surgery on her shoulder. She's a junior now and on Varsity. She's barely 4'10" and maybe 90 lbs so they are wanting to do all kinds of crazy stuff with her but she doesn't have the experience. She's feeling all this pressure & like she's disappointing them when she doesn't hit, but she's doing her best. It wasn't fair what all happened with her & she's feeling all this anxiety, but all she can do is just keep working & try to be positive. (tbh tho, it helps that I'm around so she has someone to whine to)

It might help if you looked into other clubs/hobbies/sports that you might really love (but don't know it yet). I know right now, cheer feels like it is your reason to live, but you're hurt & it doesn't look like that's going to miraculously improve in the next couple months. Look around at other things, seriously, and try to be really positive about your situation. Your coach will be impressed with your attitude and look on you more favorably. Senior year, after your arm is hopefully healed and all, you might get another chance to fly or do competitive cheer and you could have the best senior year ever! But in the meantime, don't just wait around and feel miserable. Look into something new & crazy for junior year and you never know, this might turn out to be a pretty great year too.
Hang in there! :rays:

 

[Eyes On The Prize]

I agree with the people who say you need to heal your arm because you do. It's important that you do that first and foremost.

I see that cheer means a lot to you. It sounds like you have some great qualities as a cheerleader that you are overlooking! You mentioned that the new flyers come to you for help and advice. They clearly see that you know a lot and are a great resource. Maybe when it looks like they're having a tough time you could give them tips on how to stay tight, how to do something, reassure them that they'll get it with practice, etc. Helping others always makes you feel better. Be there for the new flyers on the team and show them the ropes. I'm sure they'll be thankful for your help. Just be careful you're not trying to be their coach though.

You also said that you can look at a group and spot what's going on. Maybe you could talk to your coach and ask if you could help her out sometimes with groups that are having difficulties.

While you're giving your arm a rest and healing it, you could do some strengthening exercises and stretch, stretch, stretch. Practice flyer drills and do anything that will help you be a better flyer. That senior won't be there next year and they will need someone to fill that spot. If your coach sees you've been working hard to improve, she might give you another chance and put you back up.

I was always a base when I cheered and did a little bit of back basing when needed. My first year on a junior team I was put as a front spot for the majority of the routine. I felt really disappointed and it wasn't the spot I wanted. But sometimes front spots are needed in groups. My outlook changed the day my coach wanted me to go front another group and told my group to go up without me. They fell every time. They couldn't do it without me and I realized that I was a vital part to that group. They begged the coach for me back!

My senior year, during choreography camp, I was put as a front spot on a prep for the pyramid. (Choreographers don't always know who's good at what, who's best in what position, etc. Not like coaches). Our pyramid only needed 16 people, I was the 17th. I was arguably one of the strongest and most experienced bases on the team that year and I was, again, super disappointed but I didn't say anything. It hurts and you feel demoted, I get it, believe me. No one wants to be a front spot. But low and behold it wasn't as bad as I thought. When people were missing at practices I was able to fill in for their spots for the night so we could still run the pyramid during practice. I based, backed, and based the shoulder sit parts. Practices are just as important as performances. It turned out not to be that bad of a deal. I think both my coaches and team were glad that they had me at their dispense.

Everyone on the team is important, don't ever think you aren't just because you're not flying. And don't overlook your great qualities. If all else fails, being there for your team is a huge thing. Sometimes the best people on a team aren't ones that are in the places you'd think. Supporting all your team mates is super important. Even cheerleaders need cheerleaders, right? I don't know if your team has captains but maybe this would show people that you are captain material because you can lead and you can put the need of the team before yourself. Best of luck. Please, please get your a checked out.

 

[Twinklestars]

Absolutely get a further evaluation on your arm! Did they do any testing prior to physical therapy? I would hope they had done at least X-rays to check for fractures. If you aren't improving, they may need to reevaluate those.

I completely sympathize with your position. I have two cps doing school cheer. One is a backspot and even if she isn't the tallest on the team she is able to steadily stand on pointe from years of dance. She is a strong back and they would be silly to move her. Younger cp keeps getting moved. She has done everything except front spot because we don't have any of those. Her back gets irritated when basing, but she is willing to back, tumble, or fly. Her only experience is also in backing, but her flexibility and weight put her in running for flyer.

You said tumbling hurts. How about jumping? If it doesn't hurt, work on that. Flexibility and leg/core strength are important there. You need your arms too, but it is non-weight bearing.

I hope you have a good, experienced coach who is doing what is best for the team. It sounds like she might play favorites, but we don't know her thought process.

The most important thing is for you to get your arm better. Keep working on your flexibility and skills.

 

[cheerchicaubrey]

things happen for a reason! in no time your life will get better. Trust me. everyone hits a low point, but something good will come out of this. it might take a while and it may be sucky at this moment. but everything will turn around shortly

 

[SparkleSpankies]

I have a few thoughts and opinions that you may or may not find helpful.

First of all, if there is an issue with your arm, you need to see your athletic trainers at school and furthermore a doctor. If my girls complain more then once about something, they see the trainer and then they get treatment and at times it is see a doctor and they can't come back until there is a doctors note stating they are cleared and the pass tests from the training office too. The fact that you can still participate is great.

I hope your coach is fair. I look at the big picture. I know I make some girls really happy and I know I make some very angry. I hope you keep an open mind. Last year, I had a flyer who once we returned home from camp became an alternate. She was just too heavy for her bases and refused to take correction, along w/ had a pinch of an attitude problem. At the last competition of the year, the flyer that replaced her got hurt the week before... She went in and it was beautiful. I think it made her truly think about what she needed to fix. She didn't return this year, she felt it was unfair that she was taken out of the air. We had also given her ample chances to base and learn other parts, but she was always crying that something hurt and the worst part, she was a really great base, but it was mind over matter I think for her.

In any event, keep an open mind, but you really need to get treated and you also need to be patient. It will fall into place.

 

[mecheermom]

I am sorry you are going through all of this!

First you need to get your arm better. Go to an orthopedic and get x-rays if you have not already....If you have had clean x-rays then maybe they need to do an MRI. An injury which is not healing needs to be looked at.

 

[ca_Rachel]

Thank y'all! I really didn't want to come across as its all about me. When I wrote this it was literally like right around the time that it happened so I was really upset. I'm still disappointed, but don't misunderstand me in thinking that its all about me. I had thought through about how my coach has her reasonings on what will be best for the team in her opinion its just hard to see them sometimes. Its around the end of the season now and I'm still not real sure on her reasons... I don't think she thought they were better than me because they are still struggling even at the end of the season, but maybe she wanted to give them experience or thought they'd be better suited? Still don't know, but I do know that I have been trying hard to be helpful and give tips to the new flyers and its helped them. I'm hoping next year since I'll be a senior my coach will give me a chance again because I miss it a lot. Thanks for understanding.

 

[ca_Rachel]

Oh and as for my arm. I haven't tumbled at all this season. Just done standing back tucks. I am starting to retrain tumbling this week! I am very excited! I also think my arm is better. I don't know if fully but its getting there. We think it may have been a fore arm splint and those things just have to take time to go away on their own with rest.