Feeling Guilty About Switching Gyms

[JJ Mom]

If you have switched gyms did you feel guilty about switching. I am thinking about switching my CP gym. I do love our current gym and love the coaches. With this being said I am thinking of moving to a larger gym. I'd rather not move her when she gets older to a more competitive gym so the level of competitiveness and the expectation is not a shock. So she is used to large competitions so there is no fear. Right now she doesn't know the difference between a national competition and a local comp at a high school. With this being said I love our gym and feel guilty about even thinking about switching gyms. I dont even know how I would even tell them that my CP wouldn't be returning next season. Did anyone ever felt guilt when switching gyms. Ultimately did you switch or stay

 

[ACEDAD]

If you do it between seasons, you have no reason to feel guilty.

 

[TheVipersMom]

I can say I can identify with you completely.

At our old gym the one my cp started at where she cheered at for 2 seasons I would have felt completely guilty about switching.
We originally lived 5 mins away during her first season. After her first season we moved 1.5 away. I thought about switching because my daughter was going to be on 2 teams and I didn't want to drive that far 3 or 4 times a week with a then 6yr old so I was miserable but because I loved the people at the gym I could not switch. I passed many of gyms everyday that were awesome but I stayed because I didn't want to hurt anyone since I did love them so much. That is where my daughter started at 5 and they taught her everything she knew. I felt people would hate me if I quit or switched gyms even though I had moved further. So I stayed there a whole season after moving further away.

I finally decided to move to Texas and
TN to Texas would be a commute that just was not possible so of course we finally changed gyms. I still felt guilty because I was the one who decided to move. No reason and it wasn't like it was forced. It was just a personal decision. They weeks leading up to our last weeks I cried and cried and cried some more. I contemplated not moving to Texas over the gym. Like seriously the gym almost kept me in TN. It was so hard. They taught my baby her tuck and everything before it in just 2 seasons. I felt like I betrayed them. Now that I'm gone and I realized there is another gym where I can love the people just as much and the GYM for what it is I realized I made the best possible decision for me and my daughter. We still think about and miss those people everyday but if I didn't leave I don't think my daughter would have the opportunities that she has at this gym!

If you feel that there is something better out there then by all means do it. No one said it would be easy. However my advice to you would be to leave with class.. Because the grass isn't always greener you don't want to mess up something to where you cant go back. That way if you leave and you aren't happy I'm sure they would accept you back with open arms but I would hate to tell you to stay or to wait it out then years from now you regret your decision and wish you would of left sooner.

Best of luck to you and your cp I'm sure you will find comfort in whatever you decide.

 

[12stepCheermom]

If you have switched gyms did you feel guilty about switching. I am thinking about switching my CP gym. I do love our current gym and love the coaches. With this being said I am thinking of moving to a larger gym. I'd rather not move her when she gets older to a more competitive gym so the level of competitiveness and the expectation is not a shock. So she is used to large competitions so there is no fear. Right now she doesn't know the difference between a national competition and a local comp at a high school. With this being said I love our gym and feel guilty about even thinking about switching gyms. I dont even know how I would even tell them that my CP wouldn't be returning next season. Did anyone ever felt guilt when switching gyms. Ultimately did you switch or stay

Boy does this sound familiar. My CP began her cheer career at a gym we stayed at for three years. They gave her the fire for the sport but she quickly outgrew their ability to train her. When a pair of coaches had the opportunity to start their own program we had a big decision to make. We toiled over it for about three weeks and finally decided. That it was in her best interest to move to a place that could really coach her to the next level. I felt really guilty about it at the time but the way I saw it as that my loyalty should be to my daughter and what she needs and not to the business that currently has our money.

I stopped feeling guilty abruptly the day of the awards banquet. A number of families had decided to leave and the owner of the gym was incredibly bitter about it. The awards banquet was the single most uncomfortable thing I'd ever sa through. She called out the coaches, literally pointed at them, cut into their Christianity, their skill and their worth as human beings (it's basicAlly how she opened the banquet) refused to allow them to give out their own trophies and handed them all out herself and also ( for the first time ever) did not give any specialty awards to any child on any team.

Through it all our "new coaches" endured it all with smiles on their face, didn't flinch, didn't bite and were the most amazing examples of everything she was claiming they weren't. As its turns out her behavior at that banquet caused a great number of other folks who were on the fence about leaving to solidify their decision. They were at our new gym the very next day. In all about two thirds of our original gym ended up making the move.

It turned out to be the best decision we've ever made. Competing in high school gyms was happening because we (although we thought we were fierce) never would have won anything at a real competition. Our schedule was set up so we'd be in s,all venues with no competition most of the time. The few times we did compete somewhere larger and got killed we were told the placements were political. In short the owner didn't know how to put a routine together and didn't have the proper skills to coach tumbling. It took our new coaches 18 months to break her bad habits (that I paid privates for) and rebuild her with proper technique. I also got a bonus as my son decided to cheer and loves it. Our last gym did not allow boys to cheer. She said it was because boys shouldn't have their hands on girls in such places...I think from her behavior now it's because she buys the male cheerleader stereotype and that is offensive to her.

The venom and slander (which is exactly what it has been) has continued for the last three years. We've been called every imaginable name, she's spread lies to her people about who we are, how we operate, she's continued to personally slander our coaches around the community who have, and continue to, never respond and just take the high road. Anything we post on FB is duplicated and reported on hers within 2-3 days. It's pure insanity. She puts her evaluations directly before ours to try and lock people into her gym so they cant come to us (which a-ludicrious and b-not necessary, we dont recruit, we let our teams do that for us on the mat). The latest I heard is her banquet was on repeat this year and were all now, "satan's soldiers." Three years later she's still consumed by her hate and slander. We've all long since moved on since our gym and hers never meet each other (she makes sure of that) and we compete in completely different levels...they're still in local gyms, we're going to cheersport nationals and UCA nationals as an example.

Whatever. I moved because I was loyal to my daughter. I don't feel guilty about going to McDonald's instead of burger king, why should I feel guilty about this? I was paying a business to offer a service to my child. They were not meeting our needs so we moved our business to a place that could. I don't feel guilty about it...I REALLY dont now after everything that she's done and continues to do. But, that's how I encourage you to think about it. It's not about the gym owner and the program it's about your kid. I was willing to be slandered and persecuted in the,ocal cheer community because I knew then, and still w, that moving was what my child needed...and she was far more important than the gym owner we were with, regardless of how long we were there.

Whew. Sorry I got long winded....I really don't talk about that much but your situation sounded ridiculously similar. I only hope you have a better owner than the one we had, that would make all the difference in the world.

 

[12stepCheermom]

If you have switched gyms did you feel guilty about switching. I am thinking about switching my CP gym. I do love our current gym and love the coaches. With this being said I am thinking of moving to a larger gym. I'd rather not move her when she gets older to a more competitive gym so the level of competitiveness and the expectation is not a shock. So she is used to large competitions so there is no fear. Right now she doesn't know the difference between a national competition and a local comp at a high school. With this being said I love our gym and feel guilty about even thinking about switching gyms. I dont even know how I would even tell them that my CP wouldn't be returning next season. Did anyone ever felt guilt when switching gyms. Ultimately did you switch or stay

And I shimmied you because you didn't have any yet and that's not acceptable to me!

 

[cupieqt]

Losing kids always hurts but I have found that being gracious and understanding is always the best route. I refused to bash kids that left my gym last year bc 1. I love those kids and their families--they stayed with me for 3 years and helped us grow--and I will always be thankful for that and 2. Some of them returned and tried out for us again yesterday after a year with another gym. If I had closed my heart and doors to them that wouldn't have happened.

I believe in my program and I let our teams do the talking for us. The best advertisement I have is what I put out on the mat. I have the utmost respect for my colleagues at other gyms and I understand that all star cheerleading is a select sport (meaning you get to choose where you train and it's a personal decision for each individual). If more coaches and owners would understand this concept you wouldn't have to deal with the immaturity and back stabbing that comes with switching gyms.

The parents in our program are my best salesman. The ones that left last year are still singing our praises even though they aren't with us anymore. The ones that are still with us recruit new kids every day. I think that speaks for itself.

 

[JJ Mom]

And I shimmied you because you didn't have any yet and that's not acceptable to me!

Thanks for the Shimmy Wow I cant imagine a grown adult acting in that manner. One thing I have learned in my limited experience with All Star Cheer is that we are suppose to carry ourselves with Class, we support EVERYONE and EVERY TEAM. We never bad mouth the program in public, and we never put any one else down. These are values that I want my CP to learn.

I will leave with Class but I dont know how to tell our wonderful coaches, our extended family that we wont be back next season. They have not done anything wrong. I just want my daughter to be in a more competitive team. I want her to not feel nervous about going to Indy or Cheersport because this is the norm for her team. And I may sound like one of "those Moms" but I want my CP to be on the best team possible and have all the opportunities associated. Now I know the grass is not always greener and it may not be a good fit for my CP but I think I owe it to her to try. I have not made a final decision we are going to do some tumble classes there and go to try outs and orientation and ask the questions. Then make a decision.

 

[12stepCheermom]

Thanks for the Shimmy Wow I cant imagine a grown adult acting in that manner. One thing I have learned in my limited experience with All Star Cheer is that we are suppose to carry ourselves with Class, we support EVERYONE and EVERY TEAM. We never bad mouth the program in public, and we never put any one else down. These are values that I want my CP to learn.

I will leave with Class but I dont know how to tell our wonderful coaches, our extended family that we wont be back next season. They have not done anything wrong. I just want my daughter to be in a more competitive team. I want her to not feel nervous about going to Indy or Cheersport because this is the norm for her team. And I may sound like one of "those Moms" but I want my CP to be on the best team possible and have all the opportunities associated. Now I know the grass is not always greener and it may not be a good fit for my CP but I think I owe it to her to try. I have not made a final decision we are going to do some tumble classes there and go to try outs and orientation and ask the questions. Then make a decision.

That second paragraph sounds like a great way to say it

 

[cupieqt]

Thanks for the Shimmy Wow I cant imagine a grown adult acting in that manner. One thing I have learned in my limited experience with All Star Cheer is that we are suppose to carry ourselves with Class, we support EVERYONE and EVERY TEAM. We never bad mouth the program in public, and we never put any one else down. These are values that I want my CP to learn.

I will leave with Class but I dont know how to tell our wonderful coaches, our extended family that we wont be back next season. They have not done anything wrong. I just want my daughter to be in a more competitive team. I want her to not feel nervous about going to Indy or Cheersport because this is the norm for her team. And I may sound like one of "those Moms" but I want my CP to be on the best team possible and have all the opportunities associated. Now I know the grass is not always greener and it may not be a good fit for my CP but I think I owe it to her to try. I have not made a final decision we are going to do some tumble classes there and go to try outs and orientation and ask the questions. Then make a decision.

Sounds reasonable to me. If you tell them you're just exploring your options they should be ok. If they bash you that will be a big strike against staying. If they aren't confident that you'll choose them then why should YOU be confident in them?

 

[lakerfantlc]

I think if you do it after the season and you are kind and notify the correct people first...the owner or coaches, then you should not feel guilty. You are a customer and you are buying a product. The hardest thing for my kids was leaving their friends but they soon found out that new friends awaited and it has been awesome. There might be people left behind that are not so kind....just ignore them...do whats best for you and your family, thats what matters Good luck..

 

[tumblingbelle]

If you're not happy with the gym you/your child is at, then it's a perfectly reasonable option to switch gyms.

I may have to switch gyms this year, because my current gym--while I love it--doesn't offer the level of competition I wish to be at. They also don't offer a good team for me. I could be on two teams at their gym age wise and neither fit me; one is far below (level one skills) and one is just out of my reach (level 4 skills).

So, while I will miss them, I know it will be best for me.

 

[rosebud]

We have switched twice and have been happy with each move but unfortunately the other gyms we left the owners and some of the coaches were not so happy and ignored my kids which does not make sense to me because they did nothing wrong. We left at the end of the season each time. I never felt guilty because I knew that each gym we moved to was better for my kids and their advancement in the sport. One year I had one at our newest gym but my youngest wanted to stay at the previous gym. That was an interesting year but my youngest didn't want to leave so I wasn't going to force her. Once she saw how they treated her older sister and heard her coach talk trash about her sister's new gym she was ready to leave that gym behind and make new friends. So after the season ended she also moved and loves it. So hopefully you won't get any grief from your old gym but don't be surprised. It is unfortunate but I as well as my kids are very happy. Good luck!

 

[TheTalkedAboutMinor]

You know what? You shouldn't feel guilty. You're doing what's best for your daughter. If the coaches and the program are really as kind and supportive as you're saying, then they will be happy for you.

 

[lakerfantlc]

One more thought..going to a gym with more advanced athletes had a positive effect on ymy cp's. The bar was raised and they tend to tumble at the level they are surrounded by...if that makes any sense?

 

[alexamarysouza]

If you have switched gyms did you feel guilty about switching. I am thinking about switching my CP gym. I do love our current gym and love the coaches. With this being said I am thinking of moving to a larger gym. I'd rather not move her when she gets older to a more competitive gym so the level of competitiveness and the expectation is not a shock. So she is used to large competitions so there is no fear. Right now she doesn't know the difference between a national competition and a local comp at a high school. With this being said I love our gym and feel guilty about even thinking about switching gyms. I dont even know how I would even tell them that my CP wouldn't be returning next season. Did anyone ever felt guilt when switching gyms. Ultimately did you switch or stay

if it's between seasons, and not in the middle of one, switch her now. my parents made me switch when I was in my 7th year with my old gym, and 13 years old. It was SOOOOO hard. I couldn't help but tear up when I saw them at comps and my coaches came up to me and told me good luck, and 'love you'. I mean, I had been with the gym since I was 6 years old, and that was the first cheerleading Anything I'd ever known. I grew up with those girls and most of them don't go to my school. Im now in my 10th year of allstar, and 3rd year with my new, MUCH smaller gym, and now I'm just starting to feel comfortable. It took 2 seasons to get here.
Switch her now...don't want another kid to go through what I went through!!