All-Star Flyer Unity....good Thing Or Bad?

[SuzyB]

Just an observation and would like to get some thoughts. Last year our level 5 team flyers on one of our teams were frankly out of control. They banded together and color coordinated their outfits, bows and hair for nearly ever practice. They had an instagram account dedicated to only flyers. They had custom made shirts and took pictures of themselves everywhere. It really hurt the bases feelings and I think was the cause of the downfall of this level 5 team at our gym this year. Has this ever happened at your gym? I feel like the coaches should have stepped in or something. I like the idea of stunt group unity, but not so sure I like the idea of this flyer bonding as I think it doesn't bond the team.

 

[MavsEmma12]

Are they similar ages? On my team last year I most of the flyers were all young, while the bases we older. It can be hard for a 7th grader to bond with a high school senior.

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

Honestly, I see more STUNT GROUP clique-y behavior (coordinated clothing, selfies, hair) than I do between groups of flyers, but that's just my experience.

If you have flyer cliques, it likely has to do with age more than anything. If your bases on say, Senior 2, are all in HS and your flyers are 10-12, they're naturally going to gravitate toward each other more than the HS kids.

 

[armycheermom]

I also see more stunt group cliques and less flyers cliques,especially when it's an S5 team. I do see photos of the team flyers at practice or comps,but the type of person I am,if all of the flyers are taking pics,then I round up the bases to take pics as well. Cliques are going to happen and adults don't see everything,but when it starts getting to the "mean girls" level of cliques,it's time for an adult to step in.

 

[catlady]

Last year a group of 7 girls removed themselves from the team group text, because "it blew up their phone" and started their own text group. It was not meant to be an exclusive group, just some of the older ones not wanting all of the "hey", "hey", "watsup", "hey", etc. Not a good idea. These girls rarely talked and never talked about anything substantial other than, "what are we supposed to wear tonight?", "exhausted", "that practice beat me down", etc. BUT, it really upset one child when she noticed they weren't talking on the group text anymore and found out they had their own. She assumed it must be because they wanted to talk about her behind her back and told other team mates they were talking about her. One girl had the entire text history and was able to prove it wasn't going on, but the damage was done. Anything that is going to make a team member feel excluded, insecure, less important, etc. is not going to be beneficial to the team as a whole.

 

[mamabear]

At cp's gym, flyers are similar in age (younger than most of the team by 3-4 years) and they have to attend several extra classes together for flight school and stretching. Bonds naturally happen. I hate the word cliques because I don't think that it is done consciously or to be mean, I think friendships just start when you are together all the time.

 

[Official OWECheer]

Just an observation and would like to get some thoughts. Last year our level 5 team flyers on one of our teams were frankly out of control. They banded together and color coordinated their outfits, bows and hair for nearly ever practice. They had an instagram account dedicated to only flyers. They had custom made shirts and took pictures of themselves everywhere. It really hurt the bases feelings and I think was the cause of the downfall of this level 5 team at our gym this year. Has this ever happened at your gym? I feel like the coaches should have stepped in or something. I like the idea of stunt group unity, but not so sure I like the idea of this flyer bonding as I think it doesn't bond the team.

The shirts and Instagram are pushing it for me. It's one thing to have a strong flyer bond (since all flyers face a similar struggle, and understand each other) but they seem to almost be promoting themselves as special. I don't like that.

 

[Adam]

Last year a group of 7 girls removed themselves from the team group text, because "it blew up their phone" and started their own text group. It was not meant to be an exclusive group, just some of the older ones not wanting all of the "hey", "hey", "watsup", "hey", etc. Not a good idea. These girls rarely talked and never talked about anything substantial other than, "what are we supposed to wear tonight?", "exhausted", "that practice beat me down", etc. BUT, it really upset one child when she noticed they weren't talking on the group text anymore and found out they had their own. She assumed it must be because they wanted to talk about her behind her back and told other team mates they were talking about her. One girl had the entire text history and was able to prove it wasn't going on, but the damage was done. Anything that is going to make a team member feel excluded, insecure, less important, etc. is not going to be beneficial to the team as a whole.

I'm pretty sure this is going to come out kind of mean, so I apologize in advance for that, I'll try and be gentle...

Unless I'm missing something, I'd almost definitely side with the group of seven in this scenario.
1. If they're not going to participate in the idle chatter, why should they be subjected to constant notifications about it?
2. As you stated, they didn't start it maliciously and didn't use it maliciously, so they did nothing wrong.
3. One girl assumed that the seven did that because they wanted to talk about her? That's kinda egotistical isn't it? It may be time for her to realize she's not the most important thing in everyone else's life.
4. You said the one "told other team mates they were talking about her". Isn't the problem here her unsubstantiated, blatant lying and instigating? She's stirring up trouble that doesn't exist to draw attention to herself.

All in all I think the person who caused the rift in the team was the one girl, not the seven. She made up lies and propagated them amongst the team. She should have been corrected and made to apologize to the seven for spreading rumors about them.

 

[cheer25mom]

We had a coach start a Facebook group for flyers only last year. There were special flyers only stretch sessions before practice, extra time spent at the gym with just flyers to work skills,ect. It caused a lot of friction that bases were not welcome, so eventually it was openedto bases as well, but they were pretty much ignored. This coach was not interested in helping them get better at anything, only flyers. She was a flyer when she cheered and blatantly favored her flyers..., and is no longer with our gym.


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[MavsEmma12]

Honestly it can be hard for a twelve year old to be the same team as an eighteen year old. Kids that aren't even technically old enough to watch PG-13 movies with others that may be in college. Bonds between similar aged kids are going to happen. I do think the whole special T-shirt and Instagram thing isn't appropriate. I'd feel pretty upset if I were the bases that the flyers were almost getting "special attention." Maybe that's not the right phrase to describe it but it is late and I'm tired. Or maybe I'm completely off haha.
On my team last year there were two sixth graders, a handful of eighth graders, several seniors/super seniors but mainly sophomores and juniors. The younger ones stuck together because it's kind of hard for them to relate to boyfriends/cars/ other stuff. This is just my two cents in the jar, but I believe it is good for the younger athletes to bond together. Not necessarily having their own Instagram, but maybe a special phrase or saying.

Please tell me if that made any since at all haha

 

[CheerBank]

Cp's flyers on her junior team definitely had a strong bond this past season. Were they cliquey? Perhaps a little but not to the point of hurting other teammate's feelings (at least not cp's). It was more of "it's a flyer's thing" usually accompanied by an eye roll from cp. I get it - they're kids, they bond over similar experiences. Cp is just not a kid who excludes others; when you get a group of them who are, though, and feel they need to do that to make themselves feel special, it can wreak havoc in a team setting.

I agree with the OP; at her cp's gym the coach should have stepped in and discussed how their behaviors were excluding and interferring with overall team unity, and then done something to bring them all back together.

 

[quitthedrama]

Bonding is one thing and is perfectly fine. What these flyers did went far beyond that and it should have been addressed by the coach - with the athletes and their parents.

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[catlady]

I'm pretty sure this is going to come out kind of mean, so I apologize in advance for that, I'll try and be gentle...

Unless I'm missing something, I'd almost definitely side with the group of seven in this scenario.
1. If they're not going to participate in the idle chatter, why should they be subjected to constant notifications about it?
2. As you stated, they didn't start it maliciously and didn't use it maliciously, so they did nothing wrong.
3. One girl assumed that the seven did that because they wanted to talk about her? That's kinda egotistical isn't it? It may be time for her to realize she's not the most important thing in everyone else's life.
4. You said the one "told other team mates they were talking about her". Isn't the problem here her unsubstantiated, blatant lying and instigating? She's stirring up trouble that doesn't exist to draw attention to herself.

All in all I think the person who caused the rift in the team was the one girl, not the seven. She made up lies and propagated them amongst the team. She should have been corrected and made to apologize to the seven for spreading rumors about them.

I don't take it as mean at all, my daughter was one of the 7 that just didn't want the constant "hey" back and forth of 32 team mates. My only regret is that it caused division and my child was involved. Once the team had taken sides, truth or lies, it's there and done. Whether they are insecure, narcissistic, or manipulative, one of them is bound to be on the team and my only advice to cp this year was "feed the flock, not the bears".

 

[kristenthegreat]

Last year a group of 7 girls removed themselves from the team group text, because "it blew up their phone" and started their own text group. It was not meant to be an exclusive group, just some of the older ones not wanting all of the "hey", "hey", "watsup", "hey", etc. Not a good idea. These girls rarely talked and never talked about anything substantial other than, "what are we supposed to wear tonight?", "exhausted", "that practice beat me down", etc. BUT, it really upset one child when she noticed they weren't talking on the group text anymore and found out they had their own. She assumed it must be because they wanted to talk about her behind her back and told other team mates they were talking about her. One girl had the entire text history and was able to prove it wasn't going on, but the damage was done. Anything that is going to make a team member feel excluded, insecure, less important, etc. is not going to be beneficial to the team as a whole.

I'm pretty sure this is going to come out kind of mean, so I apologize in advance for that, I'll try and be gentle...

Unless I'm missing something, I'd almost definitely side with the group of seven in this scenario.
1. If they're not going to participate in the idle chatter, why should they be subjected to constant notifications about it?
2. As you stated, they didn't start it maliciously and didn't use it maliciously, so they did nothing wrong.
3. One girl assumed that the seven did that because they wanted to talk about her? That's kinda egotistical isn't it? It may be time for her to realize she's not the most important thing in everyone else's life.
4. You said the one "told other team mates they were talking about her". Isn't the problem here her unsubstantiated, blatant lying and instigating? She's stirring up trouble that doesn't exist to draw attention to herself.

All in all I think the person who caused the rift in the team was the one girl, not the seven. She made up lies and propagated them amongst the team. She should have been corrected and made to apologize to the seven for spreading rumors about them.

I'm 24 years old (will be the big Quarter Century in 2 months)...this is a problem at my job. With adults.

We had a group text for arranging switches when the schedule came out (based on vacations/events etc). Some people started using it as a massive chat room and people got upset. We asked them to create a new one just for talking so that everyone wasn't having their phone explode when they were trying to sleep. Granted, we're older so nobody got that mad but..hey. Even adults don't want their phones blowing up for a 3 letter text every 2 seconds.

 

[Ashley]

I'm 24 years old (will be the big Quarter Century in 2 months)...this is a problem at my job. With adults.

We had a group text for arranging switches when the schedule came out (based on vacations/events etc). Some people started using it as a massive chat room and people got upset. We asked them to create a new one just for talking so that everyone wasn't having their phone explode when they were trying to sleep. Granted, we're older so nobody got that mad but..hey. Even adults don't want their phones blowing up for a 3 letter text every 2 seconds.

Ugh, I'm glad everyone on my team is on facebook. We use that for communicating info. And most of have smart phones, so we all get the notifications right away.