OT I Really Don't Know What To Do... Help? I Would Love A Mother's Pov.

[allstar_cheer_diva93]

Maybe someone can help me make what is probably the hardest decision I could ever have to make...
What if I could cheer at California Allstars next season? (On Code 3... I love this team, I wish everyone understood how much!)

Now, what if that meant leaving my hypoglycemic mother alone to take care of my 10 year old brother by herself?

It would just be her and my brother bc I'd be living with grandma and my dad is deploying soon. But my mom has hypoglycemia really bad. Her blood sugar used to drop to the 20's! But now she has a monitor and it alerts her when her blood sugar goes under 60 so she can take care of it before it gets so low. It shouldn't ever drop that low again. But, technology is technology and also has flaws as well as advantages. I can't help but worry, If I do leave, what if something bad happens to her while I am gone? And I wasn't there to help her because I left her alone to live in Cali for my own selfish reasons. I could never live that down and I would blame myself for as long as I live. But what if I stay and nothing happens and I end up regretting that year that passes by? That opportunity of a lifetime that I would never get back.

I will be a senior next year and it will be my final year of cheerleading. I want to make the best of it. I want to live my dream. I love Cali Code 3 soooo much and to cheer there would complete my life.
But I don't know what to do.

I know I sound like such a selfish person for even thinking of leaving my mother like this, but I HAVE to give it some thought. I have cried a lot of tears over this and it's all I can think about. My mommy has given me everything and she is THE most important person in my life and I would never intentionally hurt her. I want to live my dream and I want to take care of my mom, but I can't do both at the same time. Cali would only be for a year then I'd go back to her. But isn't it wrong to just leave her like that? By herself with my brother and her health problems and my father being gone? I know it sounds selfish and aweful to even be giving this some thought. I know I should put my mom first because she's ALWAYS put me first... but this is such an amazing oppurtunity. Please don't get this wrong, I am NOT saying cheerleading is more important thhan my mom! My mom is my world. I appreciate everything she's ever given me or done for me, even though I'm a total brat sometimes and I don't tell her that as much as I should.

And there's no talking her into moving with me.

What would you do?

I would really appreciate the point of view from a parent.

 

[aggie1983]

Maybe someone can help me make what is probably the hardest decision I could ever have to make...
What if I could cheer at California Allstars next season? (On Code 3... I love this team, I wish everyone understood how much!)

Now, what if that meant leaving my hypoglycemic mother alone to take care of my 10 year old brother by herself?

It would just be her and my brother bc I'd be living with grandma and my dad is deploying soon. But my mom has hypoglycemia really bad. Her blood sugar used to drop to the 20's! But now she has a monitor and it alerts her when her blood sugar goes under 60 so she can take care of it before it gets so low. It shouldn't ever drop that low again. But, technology is technology and also has flaws as well as advantages. I can't help but worry, If I do leave, what if something bad happens to her while I am gone? And I wasn't there to help her because I left her alone to live in Cali for my own selfish reasons. I could never live that down and I would blame myself for as long as I live. But what if I stay and nothing happens and I end up regretting that year that passes by? That opportunity of a lifetime that I would never get back.

I will be a senior next year and it will be my final year of cheerleading. I want to make the best of it. I want to live my dream. I love Cali Code 3 soooo much and to cheer there would complete my life.
But I don't know what to do.

I know I sound like such a selfish person for even thinking of leaving my mother like this, but I HAVE to give it some thought. I have cried a lot of tears over this and it's all I can think about. My mommy has given me everything and she is THE most important person in my life and I would never intentionally hurt her. I want to live my dream and I want to take care of my mom, but I can't do both at the same time. Cali would only be for a year then I'd go back to her. But isn't it wrong to just leave her like that? By herself with my brother and her health problems and my father being gone? I know it sounds selfish and aweful to even be giving this some thought. I know I should put my mom first because she's ALWAYS put me first... but this is such an amazing oppurtunity. Please don't get this wrong, I am NOT saying cheerleading is more important thhan my mom! My mom is my world. I appreciate everything she's ever given me or done for me, even though I'm a total brat sometimes and I don't tell her that as much as I should.

And there's no talking her into moving with me.

What would you do?

I would really appreciate the point of view from a parent.

 

[aggie1983]

^^^^^^^Oops, didn't mean to hit the post button.

Have you talked to your dad about this? I would start there. Is there other family in the area where you currently live?
There is no way I could advise about this - but I would absolutely start with your dad.

 

[Mclovin]

Wow, hard decision. I don't think anyone can tell you what is best in your specific situation, but your own conscience and God. However, here's some food for thought:

1) Your mother's health condition is not going to go away. It will be there next year, and the year after, and the year after that, and so on. So if you stay with her next year, what are you going to do when you're ready to leave for college, or get married? You can't be there to take care of her forever. Now if she had cancer or something like that I think my feelings would be a little more sympathetic. But hypoglycemia is very treatable and manageable if you take care of yourself. My husband's mom and most of her siblings all have it.

2) As a parent, I want my kids to have the world. I want them to experience all their dreams. If I had family that lived in a certain part of the country and one of my girls dreamed of cheering there, I would totally support it IF I trusted my child to make good decisions and be responsible without my daily presence in her life.

3) The grass is NOT always greener on the other side. Just because you LOVE this team from a distance does NOT mean you'll love practicing with them and/or cheering with them for a whole season. I would talk to others that are in the program and others who have left the program and get the good and the bad about the squad/gym and go over those opinions with your parents.

4) Definitely talk to your dad. The poster above had great advice. Men don't typically make emotional or sensitive decisions. They usually have a way of seeing the good and the bad and rationalizing it out. If you listen to him wholeheartedly, he might actually be able to help you make the best decision possible for your particular situation, even if it's one you didn't want to hear.

I hope this helps.

 

[5-6-7-8]

As a mom, if this were my child's dream, I would want it for her just as much as she wants it. But that is easy to say when I am not in the situation.

I agree with the previous poster to start with your dad. And have you talked to your mom about it?

 

[Mom Jeans]

what Mclovin says sums it all up for me. do everything she says and you can make a more informed decision

good luck

 

[oldcheermom]

Before making your final decision, have you thought about what you will be doing besides cheering? This will be your senior year. What high school will you be attending? Will any of your new cheer teammates be at the same school? Do you care about missing friends and senior activities at your current school? How about your commute to the gym, does grandma live close by or will you be sitting in traffic on your way to practice? Lots to think about!! And how exciting that you have the possibility to even do this!!

 

[allstar_cheer_diva93]

Thank you all sooo much for the advice!

Mclovin you were a GREAT help!! You made some very good points! Thank you sooo much!

oldcheermom I did look into all of that. If I lived there this year, I'd already be considered a senior and by the end of this year I will have enough credits to graduate. But I do still need one science credit and one language arts credit to graduate. And honestly I HATE my current school, which is another reason I want to get out.

And my dad and I don't eactly get along. I can't really talk to him. And even if I tried he'd say he's leaving soon and can't really help me with my decision.

I have not talked to my mom about this yet. I don't want to until I am 100% sure I want to do this.

 

[Emily Jane]

Thank you all sooo much for the advice!

Mclovin you were a GREAT help!! You made some very good points! Thank you sooo much!

oldcheermom I did look into all of that. If I lived there this year, I'd already be considered a senior and by the end of this year I will have enough credits to graduate. But I do still need one science credit and one language arts credit to graduate. And honestly I HATE my current school, which is another reason I want to get out.

And my dad and I don't eactly get along. I can't really talk to him. And even if I tried he'd say he's leaving soon and can't really help me with my decision.

I have not talked to my mom about this yet. I don't want to until I am 100% sure I want to do this.

I think considering your own moms POV on this subject would help you make your decision more than having someone elses moms POV.

 

[spiritmama]

McLovin sums it all up pretty well for me....

As a Mom myself, I would bend over backwards for either of my sons to live a dream like that if it was what they truly wanted and were able to do it. But ONLY if they (we) researched it fully from every possible angle and had a LOAD of discussion about it.

My .2

 

[allstar_cheer_diva93]

I think considering your own moms POV on this subject would help you make your decision more than having someone elses moms POV.

I don't want to bring it up yet until I'm sure it's what I want to do. My mom's very emotional and I don't want to upset her if I'm not sure it's what I want to do.