I'm Too Late?

[Official OWECheer]

Hell is a place on Earth....

it's called medical school.

 

[luv2cheer92]

Hell is a place on Earth....

it's called medical school.

Or PT school...

But close enough.

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[Official OWECheer]

it's amazing. The idea of "you can do anything" is being pushed wayyy too hard. Sorry, but the kid who got a 19 on his ACT and didn't get into any of the colleges he applied to? Yeah, no, he's not going to be an engineer. I know so many people claiming they're going to be engineers or doctors... My dad is an engineering professor and let me tell you, engineering school is hard. So many kids fail their classes and end up switching majors. And that's not even at a crazy amazing school like MIT... it's at Mizzou.
People need to realize their strengths and weaknesses... If something is a weakness, probably don't go into a career in the field. You'll struggle your whole life... it's not like it's going to suddenly become easy to do the math you struggled with just because you got a degree. It's the same math!
They made a rule in our school system that you can't make a grade requirement to take a class. So it used to be you have to get a B- or better (which is NOT too much to ask) to continue in the honors math courses, go to the next level of a foreign language, etc. Now, anyone can take honors, AP, high levels of languages, even if they're getting D's. Because they don't want to "hold students back". THIS just makes the problem worse b/c it teaches people that they don't have to put forth effort, they can just skirt by and keep moving forward in life. There's no reality checks of realizing "wow, I really need to drop to regular math b/c I've failed every single test and the only thing that's helping me keep a D is my participation/homework points." And you get kids who should be in regular classes who take AP classes and just get into groups with smart people, do nothing, and still get a decent grade. So then, they graduate and expect to be able to do nothing and still get a good job (or whatever). Having a minimum grade requirement is GOOD. It makes kids work. It separates the kids who care from those who don't. It keeps them from feeling entitled to moving on b/c you have a set standard, and they have to acknowledge that they don't measure up.
Sometimes you're not good at things, that's life. I'm not a good dancer, so I don't expect to be in the front of the dance. The same thing applies to life. I'm not a good writer, so I'm not going to try to be an author... because Lord knows I'd sell zero copies and be broke. You always have to work to improve, it won't just be handed to you. I know I'm not going to get a tumbling pass in my routine if I don't have level 4 tumbling, and if my level 4 tumbling isn't pretty it makes perfect sense for the girl with prettier tumbling to get the pass instead. I know I'm not going to get a promotion if I'm under achieving... or even if I'm doing fine, but someone else is doing better than me. This is life...

I saw a news report saying that a middle school has eliminated 'Honors Night' for high-achieving students because it made other students feel bad. :banghead: I seriously hope more people in our generation think like us....

 

[omgitssydthekid]

My dad is the director of customer systems at a decently large cooperation and he always tells me that you don't deserve a promotion, until you're already doing that job. His logic, and I agree, is that if you can't prove you're competent in the job BEFORE you have it, then you don't deserve it because you aren't doing enough. You should be pushing yourself above and beyond if you want to excel. It isn't enough to be able to get by with the minimum and expect extraordinary results that you don't deserve.

He's worked for the same company for nearly 24 years now. He obviously didn't start in the position he's in now, although our "everyone gets a trophy" generation thinks that's where they deserve to be right out of the gate.


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[cheernerd5678]

I saw a news report saying that a middle school has eliminated 'Honors Night' for high-achieving students because it made other students feel bad. :banghead: I seriously hope more people in our generation think like us....

The middle school I went to was supposed to have an awards night for 8th graders but then parents got butthurt about their kids not being invited, so they invited everyone and made it a graduation
ETA: It's not even just school and work. JV parents want their kids to get everything - uniforms, etc - varsity has (my school doesn't do seniority, a freshman can make varsity and a senior can make JV, so it's truly about talent.) It's varsity for a reason.... Work for it and you'll get the perks too! I worked hard for my spot, you can too.
I think the parents of our generation are a huge problem. They enable their kids and they get too involved. Let your children speak for themselves. Chances are they don't care that much that they didn't get a special award in EIGHTH GRADE. If they do care, it's a good life lesson. Move on.

 

[Official OWECheer]

The middle school I went to was supposed to have an awards night for 8th graders but then parents got butthurt about their kids not being invited, so they invited everyone and made it a graduation

Now you see why I wrote my first pet peeve?

 

[Pebbles49]

The middle school I went to was supposed to have an awards night for 8th graders but then parents got butthurt about their kids not being invited, so they invited everyone and made it a graduation
ETA: It's not even just school and work. JV parents want their kids to get everything - uniforms, etc - varsity has (my school doesn't do seniority, a freshman can make varsity and a senior can make JV, so it's truly about talent.) It's varsity for a reason.... Work for it and you'll get the perks too! I worked hard for my spot, you can too.
I think the parents of our generation are a huge problem. They enable their kids and they get too involved. Let your children speak for themselves. Chances are they don't care that much that they didn't get a special award in EIGHTH GRADE. If they do care, it's a good life lesson. Move on.

The children who are given everything without effort because of the parent, being unwilling to allow their child to work hard at anything are going to be hurt in the long run. When I see parents who want to discredit another child's high achievement is only setting their child up for a huge fall later in life. Whenever I see a high achieving child being overlooked I always tell them to continue to work hard because no one can take that education away and you will be prepared when opportunities come your way.
Sadly, what will happen for the entitled child is, an adult that will sadly flounder through life and later, you will hear these same parents who did not force their child to work hard and given everything - complaining how their little Johnny refuses to work and I cannot get him to stop playing video games. So these enabler parents are setting themselves up for a lifetime of headaches for not allowing their son/daughter to earn their achievements and many years of financial destitution because these children become very expensive and need your money to support their hefty needs...
Side note: It is better to Parent when the child is smaller than you, than to try to Parent an Adult Grown-up baby! JMO

 

[Official OWECheer]

My dad is the director of customer systems at a decently large cooperation and he always tells me that you don't deserve a promotion, until you're already doing that job. His logic, and I agree, is that if you can't prove you're competent in the job BEFORE you have it, then you don't deserve it because you aren't doing enough. You should be pushing yourself above and beyond if you want to excel. It isn't enough to be able to get by with the minimum and expect extraordinary results that you don't deserve.

He's worked for the same company for nearly 24 years now. He obviously didn't start in the position he's in now, although our "everyone gets a trophy" generation thinks that's where they deserve to be right out of the gate.


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There's a wonderful feeling that arises within a person when they achieve something and know that they worked insanely hard for it.

 

[caitlyn_the_camille]

The turn this thread has taken has restored my faith in humanity. Thank you all!


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[AliciaM]

As someone who was given a lot growing up I can say not all kids who were spoiled are brats.

My mom does a LOT for me and I'm 25. She does my laundry sometimes, cooks, I live at home rent free, etc. Heck my mom still makes calls for me, but that's because I can't.

However, I'm not lazy or a brat in anyway. I've had a job since I was 14 sometimes 3 at a time to pay bills, school, car, or just stuff I really want. I was never really bad as a kid. Never talked back to my parents, never was spanked as a kid, always got good grades, never snuck out, etc. It's just part of my moms culture to be like that with their kids. We are Italian and most Italian kids don't move out before they're married and they're doted on just because that's just how Italians are.

I think it's hard to judge someone based on how they may have been raised seeing as you don't know their personal life at home and what they go through as a family.




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[GreenStormLucy]

As someone who was given a lot growing up I can say not all kids who were spoiled are brats.

My mom does a LOT for me and I'm 25. She does my laundry sometimes, cooks, I live at home rent free, etc. Heck my mom still makes calls for me, but that's because I can't.

However, I'm not lazy or a brat in anyway. I've had a job since I was 14 sometimes 3 at a time to pay bills, school, car, or just stuff I really want. I was never really bad as a kid. Never talked back to my parents, never was spanked as a kid, always got good grades, never snuck out, etc. It's just part of my moms culture to be like that with their kids. We are Italian and most Italian kids don't move out before they're married and they're doted on just because that's just how Italians are.

I think it's hard to judge someone based on how they may have been raised seeing as you don't know their personal life at home and what they go through as a family.




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Maybe that´s the reason why she is doing all this for you. It´s a give and take. I try to do everything for my kids. But it´s a two sided road. You want a PS4? You pay 50%, i pay 50%. Save your money, work, get good grades and we´re in.
But people on the outside only see a 14 year old with lots of stuff. That i don´t throw it at my kids without them working for it, is something you don´t see on the first view.
And i second the fact about not judging.

But there are for sure young adults that should have been thaught that nothing in life comes on a silver plate. Because they will have a hard time once their parents won´t or can´t solve everything for them.

 

[AliciaM]

Maybe that´s the reason why she is doing all this for you. It´s a give and take. I try to do everything for my kids. But it´s a two sided road. You want a PS4? You pay 50%, i pay 50%. Save your money, work, get good grades and we´re in.
But people on the outside only see a 14 year old with lots of stuff. That i don´t throw it at my kids without them working for it, is something you don´t see on the first view.
And i second the fact about not judging.

But there are for sure young adults that should have been thaught that nothing in life comes on a silver plate. Because they will have a hard time once their parents won´t or can´t solve everything for them.

Yes, that is true. She is very proud of the fact I was a great student for the most part and I do work hard.

I say the no judging part because I had a lot of issues that no kid should ever deal with half of. I lost my brother when I was 4 years old and he never even came home from the hospital , back issue that was thought to be cancer, started going deaf at 16, diagnosed with endometriosis and then a year later diabetes. All these things have definitely shaped the way I was brought up and the way interact with people.

A lot of my friends call me spoiled and say my mom is way too overprotective which she is but I get why she is. She lost a child and husband and she doesn't want to lose the only child she has left nor does she trust everyone in the world to know how to treat me properly in regard to my "disabilities".

I DO get the kids who are given everything and then just throw it away. My ex was a surprise baby 22 years apart from his sister and he was veryyyyy spoiled. Llike 100k summer car spoiled lol he decided to start doing illegal drugs at the age of 24 and dropped out of school (to become a dentist) had a horrible three years of having nada after spending like 20k and then his parents rescued his life by buying him a business. Is he grateful? I'm sure he is but if he wanted his own business that 20k that was spent on stupidity would have been better invested on said business.




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[piglet]

You ask if you're too late, and I'd suggest that you're just a bit too early. The more research and field experience you can obtain/earn from been-there-doing-that gym owners (like CSP + any small gym owners for different perspective), the more prepared you will be and the more likely the odds of success. If you don't currently have the time or ability or desire to search them out to talk, research online. I know, just as a parent, that there are several very interesting cheer industry videos (free! online!) that feature gym owners that are must-sees to any prospective gym owners. Join gym owner groups. Go to conferences. Be a sponge and take it all in. RESEARCH is your friend. So is experience, learning what to focus on and what to let fall away.

Work to discover more about your strengths and likes vs. your weaker areas and stuff you detest doing. For example, I know a gym owner may be an awesome cheerleader but be extremely introverted and literally hate dealing with people (not saying you do, just an example!). Or s/he hates accounting and organization but loves website work and teaching classes. It would be helpful to know that/being honest about yourself going into it so that you have someone to counterbalance whatever skills you might lack. So, an introvert would find a people-friendly person to be on their team. A math-phobic would utilize their aunt the accountant. Etc. You can have the best business plan and a suitcase full of money, but if you're not well prepared, money and words will not be enough. Of course, luck can be a big factor, and we all know someone who is the exception who proves the rule. Take any of our opinions that we're willing to share that work for you and leave the rest. It's called professionalism, and it can definitely take practice!

So, is it too late? Never if you're chasing the right dream for you. A very close friend of mine is just about to finish up medical school at 55 and is a mom to six. Yay! She felt she had a gift to share and a purpose to fulfill and is exceptionally driven to succeed. She's going to be the best damn doctor I know. So, it's never too late if you know what it is you truly WANT and are willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen. Even when what it takes is hard and unpleasant. Best wishes to you in all you do.

 

[Pebbles49]

You ask if you're too late, and I'd suggest that you're just a bit too early. The more research and field experience you can obtain/earn from been-there-doing-that gym owners (like CSP + any small gym owners for different perspective), the more prepared you will be and the more likely the odds of success. If you don't currently have the time or ability or desire to search them out to talk, research online. I know, just as a parent, that there are several very interesting cheer industry videos (free! online!) that feature gym owners that are must-sees to any prospective gym owners. Join gym owner groups. Go to conferences. Be a sponge and take it all in. RESEARCH is your friend. So is experience, learning what to focus on and what to let fall away.

Work to discover more about your strengths and likes vs. your weaker areas and stuff you detest doing. For example, I know a gym owner may be an awesome cheerleader but be extremely introverted and literally hate dealing with people (not saying you do, just an example!). Or s/he hates accounting and organization but loves website work and teaching classes. It would be helpful to know that/being honest about yourself going into it so that you have someone to counterbalance whatever skills you might lack. So, an introvert would find a people-friendly person to be on their team. A math-phobic would utilize their aunt the accountant. Etc. You can have the best business plan and a suitcase full of money, but if you're not well prepared, money and words will not be enough. Of course, luck can be a big factor, and we all know someone who is the exception who proves the rule. Take any of our opinions that we're willing to share that work for you and leave the rest. It's called professionalism, and it can definitely take practice!

So, is it too late? Never if you're chasing the right dream for you. A very close friend of mine is just about to finish up medical school at 55 and is a mom to six. Yay! She felt she had a gift to share and a purpose to fulfill and is exceptionally driven to succeed. She's going to be the best damn doctor I know. So, it's never too late if you know what it is you truly WANT and are willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen. Even when what it takes is hard and unpleasant. Best wishes to you in all you do.

Wow, I just needed to comment on how excellent I thought this response was to a complicated question and something that the OP needs to hear. You know, I did not think of the answer as being too early, as oppose to being too late. When I answered the question I was thinking quite literal, but you bought in many more layers.

 

[12stepCheermom]

Last year I took an online sociology class and we had to do a discussion on an article about how more and more twentysomethings were jobless and moving back into their parents homes. I wish I could remember what everyone else said, but mine had to do with parents babying their children so much older than they used to. My parents are guilty of it sometimes (more with my twin brother than me but still). I'm 17 and I just learned how to air up a tire last week. I have friends whose parents still do school projects for them. I know a girl 3 years out of high school whose mom still makes all her hair appointments for her.
Another thing I mentioned, and it was worded a lot more eloquently than this post has been, was false expectations being encouraged. Our school guidance counselor is the sweetest thing, and has been really helpful to me in the past. However, where does the line get drawn between encouragement and being realistic? Everyone wants to be a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer. I know people going into college this year in engineering and computer science (which is way harder than people realize, from what I understand) who have skirted by in high school, not because they're that smart,but because they've cheated. They honestly think college will be the same way, and that terrifies me for them and their paying families. I know girls going into nursing the same way: blindly and carefree. I mean,how hard could college be right? It's just a degree. In 5 years I should be making 6 figure salaries a year. And they talk about it so nonchalantly. A friend of mine one day said, "Well, I guess I'll just be an occupational therapist." Just an OT? Oh, that's it?
Maybe @12stepCheermom can give me her insight, as I know she works in schools. But I think kids go into the real world so unprepared is because nobody (save maybe their parents) has prepared them for it. (Sorry if this sounds like I'm a horrible negative person. I'm not. You should follow your dreams. Sometimes it's just really unrealistic. I don't know.)


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I think most people have responded substantially to what I'm going to say but it's definitely a reversed mindset than kids who graduated 15-20 years ago. Whereas we said "please don't call my mom!" Not it's "go on! Call my momma, up you'll see!"

Susie's mom is a reality in school as well. Susie is brilliant, should make straight A's never does anything wrong, mom does the projects, fights the class battles etc etc. the younger a kid is the less this bothers me but we just had a mom call us about her kid's GPA flipping out on the phone.

Bottom line, Susie had a 2.5 and a college acceptance. Susie got senioritis her spring semester and guess what. Her final GPA (of which we gave her the day before graduation in her official transcript with the specific direction to check it over and talk to us NOW if anything is wrong...and she didn't) was a 2.3. College (upon final transcript review) revoked the acceptance so mom is flipping on us that we need to do something have those teachers put together work packets or some assignment (they're all home for summer vacation mind you) so Susie can get her GPA up, have us fix the final transcript and get Susie back into college. Really? No. The girl graduated. She's not even on our roll anymore.

At what point does Susie talk to me? She never did. How long is helicopter mom going to fight her battles or take on her kids responsibility. Kid is 18. A high school graduate. Is mom going to argue with her professors for the next four years and set up her job interviews (had that happen last year by the way, a mom calling to set up a teaching interview for her kid). Um...really? Have your kid call me. They didn't.

I deal with this pretty often actually. And the more we try to shift that responsibility to the kid (especially if they're a senior) well pretty regularly get the mom upset that we didn't contact them directly about Susie not turning in homework or whatever. There's a shift in philosophy on our part when they get that age to go to the kid first to fix it before dealing with mom....not all moms are on board with that....which is sad. Those kids aren't going to know how to deal with their own issues because (quite frankly) many of them haven't done it before.