High School Missng Practices - What Do You Do?

[Just-a-Mom]

I have a 10 demerit system. You begin the season with zero. If you get to 10, you're dismissed from the team.

My only excused absences are illness requiring Dr. note, funerals, or academic events for a grade.

Every unexcused absence (like, any time you are absent for any reason other than the ones I just listed) = 5 demerits.

It's amazing how priorities shift when you know you can only be unexcused absent TWICE before you're dismissed!

See also: If you are unexcused absent that week, you do not cheer the game, rally, or competition. Then you also accrue an absence for that.

So... if they have one unexcused absence it's 5 demerits. And then you tell them they can't cheer at the game which is another absence? Another 5 demerits for that, so that's 10. So basically one unexcused absence and they're gone? And being sick enough to stay home but not sick enough to see a dr is not ok? So if my teenager has a fever and I keep her home, you're kicking her off your team unless I spend $100+ on a dr note... (which I'm not doing. I don't need her to see a dr for a fever)

Side note... it is possible to have something for school that's not necessarily for a grade but is still important. SATs and ACTs, are not for grades. Prom is not for a grade. My daughter just had her school play (that she was required to be in), but it wasn't for a grade. Rest assured she would attend every one of these things. And according to your rule each one of them would have gotten her kicked off your team.

I hope I'm just reading your posts wrong, because a lot of your posts, while entertaining, really sound like you hate teenagers and everything they do. Why are you coaching them then?

By the way you talk, it's like you can't believe that teenage girls would have the nerve to have things like boyfriends and prom. Again, not saying you should excuse them for these reasons, just noticing the way you talk about the kids you coach (and their parents). I hope you don't talk TO them the way you talk ABOUT them.

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[GForce]

I think studying is the stupidest excuse because for most schools, you get you cheer schedule in summer so you know welllllll in advance when there will be cheer obligations so you have plenty of time to figure out when to study and do you projects and such.

 

[alexacheer2010]

Good lord to some of the high school coaches on here... Ya know, cheer isn't the end all be all in life. I cheered in school, when I was sick I missed practice, my coach didn't schedule practice over prom and school plays, and my team still won our district competition, and my coach wasn't insane about missing stuff. Tuesday night's Hebrew school? Okay we can compromise you can miss x basketball games because I realize that in the grand scheme of life, being on the high school cheer team and missing two games doesn't matter. Some people take themselves too seriously.


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[MHSCheercoach]

So... if they have one unexcused absence it's 5 demerits. And then you tell them they can't cheer at the game which is another absence? Another 5 demerits for that, so that's 10. So basically one unexcused absence and they're gone? And being sick enough to stay home but not sick enough to see a dr is not ok? So if my teenager has a fever and I keep her home, you're kicking her off your team unless I spend $100+ on a dr note... (which I'm not doing. I don't need her to see a dr for a fever)

Side note... it is possible to have something for school that's not necessarily for a grade but is still important. SATs and ACTs, are not for grades. Prom is not for a grade. My daughter just had her school play (that she was required to be in), but it wasn't for a grade. Rest assured she would attend every one of these things. And according to your rule each one of them would have gotten her kicked off your team.

I hope I'm just reading your posts wrong, because a lot of your posts, while entertaining, really sound like you hate teenagers and everything they do. Why are you coaching them then?

By the way you talk, it's like you can't believe that teenage girls would have the nerve to have things like boyfriends and prom. Again, not saying you should excuse them for these reasons, just noticing the way you talk about the kids you coach (and their parents). I hope you don't talk TO them the way you talk ABOUT them.

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I think you are taking it out of context. But as a coach, I have my schedule, school schedule, and every single team members schedule to worry about. My practices are planned a month in advance. Dates with your boyfriend or a concert aren't excuses in my book. Do they work for your place of employment? When girls tryout they are made aware of my expectations and rules they agree to them, so they know what they are getting into. My rule of thumb is if the school wouldn't excuse it then it's not excused for me either. Sorry if that sounds mean but I welcome you to do my job and see how many excuses you get constantly and how that makes the rest of the team feel. I'm not trying to be mean, rude, or uncaring, my cheerleaders are my girls I'm there for them thru thick and thin, but there are rules. They respect me for teaching them responsibility and appreciate that I don't allow my cheerleaders to tell me what they are going to do.
Cheerleading seems to be that one sport/activity that everyone wants to make exceptions for. Thankfully, I coach at a school that it is treated the same as any other sport. If you miss a practice and it's unexcused, you don't play in the next basketball/football game, so why wouldn't that apply for cheer too? Any sport that requires teamwork, requires rules that outline what happens when you're not a team player. Imagine how it feels to be that cheerleader that is at every practice but another isn't there working their butt off, sweating, putting in the work because she wanted to get her nails done. No joke, you will have anarchy with the team. I dealt with it before. So don't take it as we don't want to coach or hate the kids we coach, cause the job requires long hours for little pay...we do it because we love the sport and want to share that with others, but there has to be rules.

 

[MHSCheercoach]

Good lord to some of the high school coaches on here... Ya know, cheer isn't the end all be all in life. I cheered in school, when I was sick I missed practice, my coach didn't schedule practice over prom and school plays, and my team still won our district competition, and my coach wasn't insane about missing stuff. Tuesday night's Hebrew school? Okay we can compromise you can miss x basketball games because I realize that in the grand scheme of life, being on the high school cheer team and missing two games doesn't matter. Some people take themselves too seriously.


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No cheer may not be the end all be all, but when you tryout you make a commitment to the team to devote the time to it. There are legitimate reasons why you may miss, and as for me, I understand that. I think most coaches do, but if I allowed Susie to miss cause she has a date then Jane is gonna miss next time cause she has a hair appointment and it just continues. As for sickness, I have to be notified and well in advance if possible. If you weren't at school then there's no reason why I arrive at practice not knowing you won't be there.
Yes, I take this job seriously, why? Because it's my job, I have to answer to the school and the community for my cheerleaders and if they don't like how it's going then I'm without my job. Coaching is a chance to teach your athletes, it should be taken seriously.

 

[alexacheer2010]

No cheer may not be the end all be all, but when you tryout you make a commitment to the team to devote the time to it. There are legitimate reasons why you may miss, and as for me, I understand that. I think most coaches do, but if I allowed Susie to miss cause she has a date then Jane is gonna miss next time cause she has a hair appointment and it just continues. As for sickness, I have to be notified and well in advance if possible. If you weren't at school then there's no reason why I arrive at practice not knowing you won't be there.
Yes, I take this job seriously, why? Because it's my job, I have to answer to the school and the community for my cheerleaders and if they don't like how it's going then I'm without my job. Coaching is a chance to teach your athletes, it should be taken seriously.

I agree they made a commitment to the team, so they need to be there. I just think there may be better ways to keep people committed than scaring them into it like the above mentioned (by another coach) demerit system. Cheer is a lot of work for coaches and the kids too, and in no way am I saying "miss practices and games" because no, you decided to cheer so be there, but for example if I win a trip off the radio station on a day that there's a game... you bet your behind I'll be going on that trip, and not be too worried about that one practice.


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[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

So... if they have one unexcused absence it's 5 demerits. And then you tell them they can't cheer at the game which is another absence? Another 5 demerits for that, so that's 10. So basically one unexcused absence and they're gone? And being sick enough to stay home but not sick enough to see a dr is not ok? So if my teenager has a fever and I keep her home, you're kicking her off your team unless I spend $100+ on a dr note... (which I'm not doing. I don't need her to see a dr for a fever)

Side note... it is possible to have something for school that's not necessarily for a grade but is still important. SATs and ACTs, are not for grades. Prom is not for a grade. My daughter just had her school play (that she was required to be in), but it wasn't for a grade. Rest assured she would attend every one of these things. And according to your rule each one of them would have gotten her kicked off your team.

I hope I'm just reading your posts wrong, because a lot of your posts, while entertaining, really sound like you hate teenagers and everything they do. Why are you coaching them then?

By the way you talk, it's like you can't believe that teenage girls would have the nerve to have things like boyfriends and prom. Again, not saying you should excuse them for these reasons, just noticing the way you talk about the kids you coach (and their parents). I hope you don't talk TO them the way you talk ABOUT them.

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1. The SAT counts as a viable reason.

2. We are done competing by the time prom comes around. There is no prom weekend practice for my school kids anyway because I'm chaperoning it!

3. I try to avoid weekend practices in general so my kids really do have free weekends.

4. I love teens. My kids love me. I just am big on commitment to activities. I also am aware of how much time they have outside of school and the importance of teaching them that they need to manage it.

5. I've given grace on some things. Ex: if you happened to be sick when you came into practice to the point of vomit, I'd send you home demerit-free.

6. I adore my kids. I admire the fact that when your child is studying, it means she's actually doing it. All my policies for school cheer are a great deal more stringent than AS because my kids were very much the "absent because I need to study when your FB says you're at Starbucks." kids.

7. I'm into knowing my kids. So I know who is the "never miss" girl who has the mother of all cases of strep. I am capable of case by case reasoning but the rules are there to prevent everyone from trying to be "that girl."

8. I love kids. I hope you know that. I just am not a very good Mary Poppins coach in the sense of "oh Fiji for 2 weeks during comp season, cool!"

9. I stick to a schedule as well. I will never schedule extra practices because I think it's rude.

10. I will cancel practice if the majority of my kids are participating in something, even if it's not for a grade. Ex: If 20 of my 27 are on the decorations committee for Prom, and that ends up on a practice night, there is no point in having it.

11. Sometimes, I even cancel it just because they do really well the last one!

12.. In summary, I'm not the worst person on the planet. I promise!

ETA: Someone really did lie to me about Macbeth and Bieber. Really. Lol.

 

[Just-a-Mom]

I think you are taking it out of context. But as a coach, I have my schedule, school schedule, and every single team members schedule to worry about. My practices are planned a month in advance. Dates with your boyfriend or a concert aren't excuses in my book. Do they work for your place of employment? When girls tryout they are made aware of my expectations and rules they agree to them, so they know what they are getting into. My rule of thumb is if the school wouldn't excuse it then it's not excused for me either. Sorry if that sounds mean but I welcome you to do my job and see how many excuses you get constantly and how that makes the rest of the team feel. I'm not trying to be mean, rude, or uncaring, my cheerleaders are my girls I'm there for them thru thick and thin, but there are rules. They respect me for teaching them responsibility and appreciate that I don't allow my cheerleaders to tell me what they are going to do.
Cheerleading seems to be that one sport/activity that everyone wants to make exceptions for. Thankfully, I coach at a school that it is treated the same as any other sport. If you miss a practice and it's unexcused, you don't play in the next basketball/football game, so why wouldn't that apply for cheer too? Any sport that requires teamwork, requires rules that outline what happens when you're not a team player. Imagine how it feels to be that cheerleader that is at every practice but another isn't there working their butt off, sweating, putting in the work because she wanted to get her nails done. No joke, you will have anarchy with the team. I dealt with it before. So don't take it as we don't want to coach or hate the kids we coach, cause the job requires long hours for little pay...we do it because we love the sport and want to share that with others, but there has to be rules.

Whoa. First of all... I'm the operations manager for a dance studio, with 200 child students, 3 competitive teams, 2 professional adult companies, and over 20 adult classes per week. So I don't need to do your job. Trust me - I've heard it all. And believe me... you don't know "little pay" until you see my check.

Second, I didn't say boyfriends are an excuse to miss practice. She posts a LOT of disdainful comments about the girls she coaches. And it just sounds like she is constantly annoyed by everything they do. They're teenage girls. They're going to do dumb things - including think their boyfriends are important. It's not just this thread - this is just the one I chose to reply to. No, I don't think girls should be missing practice to go on dates. But I also don't think it's happening as often as y'all make it sound like. I just think she often posts fairly derogatory things about these kids and their parents and sometimes it's over the top.

Furthermore, she said doctors note. If my child is sick enough to miss SCHOOL, she's sick enough to miss practice. I don't need a dr note for school so I'm not getting one for cheer. Both my kids have been in cheer or dance as long as I can remember. They never miss practice. (For example, in 3 seasons of driving 2 hours each way, 5 days a week, my older cp only missed 2 practices because I was in the hospital for a week) - so I get it. There are annoying people who suck. But I was merely asking why she coaches when it seems, from reading her posts (not just this thread, but overall), that she either
a) has nothing but horrible rotten brats on her team,
b) hates kids and parents, or
c) both.
I've not seen one positive post about her athletes since she started posting.

Lastly, to answer your question, no. My job does not allow me to miss work for dates or concerts. Oh wait... yes, they do. My job allows me to miss work for whatever I want as long as I give notice. Most jobs are like this. It's called "personal time" or "sick time" or "vacation time" and even adults get it.

I'm with @alexacheer2010 - sometimes people just need to get over themselves. It's a high school sport. It's really not that serious.

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[luv2cheer92]

I think you are taking it out of context. But as a coach, I have my schedule, school schedule, and every single team members schedule to worry about. My practices are planned a month in advance. Dates with your boyfriend or a concert aren't excuses in my book. Do they work for your place of employment? When girls tryout they are made aware of my expectations and rules they agree to them, so they know what they are getting into. My rule of thumb is if the school wouldn't excuse it then it's not excused for me either. Sorry if that sounds mean but I welcome you to do my job and see how many excuses you get constantly and how that makes the rest of the team feel. I'm not trying to be mean, rude, or uncaring, my cheerleaders are my girls I'm there for them thru thick and thin, but there are rules. They respect me for teaching them responsibility and appreciate that I don't allow my cheerleaders to tell me what they are going to do.
Cheerleading seems to be that one sport/activity that everyone wants to make exceptions for. Thankfully, I coach at a school that it is treated the same as any other sport. If you miss a practice and it's unexcused, you don't play in the next basketball/football game, so why wouldn't that apply for cheer too? Any sport that requires teamwork, requires rules that outline what happens when you're not a team player. Imagine how it feels to be that cheerleader that is at every practice but another isn't there working their butt off, sweating, putting in the work because she wanted to get her nails done. No joke, you will have anarchy with the team. I dealt with it before. So don't take it as we don't want to coach or hate the kids we coach, cause the job requires long hours for little pay...we do it because we love the sport and want to share that with others, but there has to be rules.

I understand your point, but I don't think it's fair to compare an after school activity to a job that you get paid for. Missing one for maybe an invalid excuse won't get you fired and not be able to pay the bills. Plus you most jobs I know, you can call in sick or take days off with no valid excuse and nobody will say a word to you. Also, cheer was treated just like all the other sports at my school as well, because it was an official sport. My HS cheer team also used the demerit system and it worked very well and nobody missed practices for "stupid" reasons (dates, movies, nails/hair appt, etc). But, I did miss one important practice before a competition for a club soccer state championship game one year that I felt was more important and there were other people who had excuses for missing practices that weren't typical. But our coach was able to compromise and cooperate with us instead of just kicking us off the team for missing practice that didn't fall under the "excused absence" list on our Constitution.

 

[Just-a-Mom]

1. The SAT counts as a viable reason.

2. We are done competing by the time prom comes around. There is no prom weekend practice for my school kids anyway because I'm chaperoning it!

3. I try to avoid weekend practices in general so my kids really do have free weekends.

4. I love teens. My kids love me. I just am big on commitment to activities. I also am aware of how much time they have outside of school and the importance of teaching them that they need to manage it.

5. I've given grace on some things. Ex: if you happened to be sick when you came into practice to the point of vomit, I'd send you home demerit-free.

6. I adore my kids. I admire the fact that when your child is studying, it means she's actually doing it. All my policies for school cheer are a great deal more stringent than AS because my kids were very much the "absent because I need to study when your FB says you're at Starbucks." kids.

7. I'm into knowing my kids. So I know who is the "never miss" girl who has the mother of all cases of strep. I am capable of case by case reasoning but the rules are there to prevent everyone from trying to be "that girl."

8. I love kids. I hope you know that. I just am not a very good Mary Poppins coach in the sense of "oh Fiji for 2 weeks during comp season, cool!"

9. I stick to a schedule as well. I will never schedule extra practices because I think it's rude.

10. I will cancel practice if the majority of my kids are participating in something, even if it's not for a grade. Ex: If 20 of my 27 are on the decorations committee for Prom, and that ends up on a practice night, there is no point in having it.

11. Sometimes, I even cancel it just because they do really well the last one!

12.. In summary, I'm not the worst person on the planet. I promise!

ETA: Someone really did lie to me about Macbeth and Bieber. Really. Lol.

Just typed out my whole long angry response to the other post while you were posting this. So you can just copy and paste this as your reply to my new post.

I genuinely think someone who coaches kids has to like them (as I said - I deal with kids aged 3 to 33 all day every day at my job). It just seems like there's a whole lot of negativity towards the kids you coach. They're teenagers - of course they are ridiculous. That's what teenagers do.

I'm glad you are able to apply the rules on a case by case basis. That's not how it sounded before - and I'm SUPER glad SATs count as a viable excuse!

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[Just-a-Mom]

If you miss a practice and it's unexcused, you don't play in the next basketball/football game, so why wouldn't that apply for cheer too?

Forgot to add - I wasn't saying they shouldn't have to sit out the game. I definitely think they should - we pull our girls' solos from competition if they miss rehearsal before. It was giving more demerits for missing the game that I had issue with. So under her system it would really mean one absence, not two, would get you kicked off.


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[ErinS]

I hope that if any of you "coaches" ever, EVER in your natural lives try to prevent a child from going to a Beyonce concert because they have "practice", you get taken out by the Beygency.

Now when I coached middle school, I legitimately did not care if they missed. I had 25 girls... replacements were a dime a dozen. Bye Felisha...go home and study... color with your dog... Erin don't care.

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

@HeresAThought

I'm going to be at Beyonce myself. I don't believe it falls on a practice night, but it will be a "Surprise no practice!" night!

I never thought that my high school cheer policies insinuated that I "hate kids" or the fact that they have social lives.

I love them and I am sorry if I made you feel that way!

And when I post about them, it's more of a "bless their hearts even though it annoys me." Except the "you claimed to be seriously ill at home, but I spotted you at the pool when I dropped my niece there on the way to summer practice" things. You'll have to excuse me for being direct/harsh about that. That's a life skill. In life, if you lie to your employer about where you go, you get fired.

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

See also:

I so don't hate parents. I am the first person in the "tryout agreement" thread saying that 90 percent of gym's policies are unfair to them (ex: especially the "you need to pay tuition to tumble here" things.) Or the "money thread" admonishing the whole "we need new campwear and uniforms every year" thing. I am more pro parent than most, especially when it comes to finances.

 

[omgitssydthekid]

In high school, we were never allowed to miss practice for being sick. I distinctly remember sleeping on a panel mat during one practice my sophomore year because I was too sick to even walk through the routine but I was required to be there, so I went. It was normal for us, I never really thought anything of it. My school was extremely competitive, as of now, they've won state 4 out of the last five years I believe, two of those were when I was on the team, and the year they didn't win was because they chose not to go because they were going to UCA nationals instead.


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