All-Star Mom's List For Coaches (spinoff Of Coaches List For Moms)

[imrichhowboutu]

I SEE THIS ALL THE TIME. I've went as far as yelling at a previous coach for her lack of compassion for the lower level teams. I've also deleted other owners of gyms in the NYS area because this happens ALL THE TIME.

its gets annoying....as a soon to be mom i think id like to add something to (what ive seen from coachign and cheering too)

1) PLEASE DO NOT YELL AT YOUR TINYS OR MINIS. I hate to see them cry, yes you need to be tough sometimes but every single day is not good for children those ages. They learn but teaching not by yelling.

I don't believe that you need to yell at anyone ever. While I am guilty of yelling when I am extremely frustrated. I don't believe anything gets solved by yelling. I for one believe you can do a lot of things in life and have great results without yelling. And I take people less serious when they yell at me.

There are better ways to get across to people than yelling or screaming at them. Respect others and hopefully they respect you back.

 

[CatFan22]

Two quick things to note:
1. You are paying the gym owner - NOT the coach. Most coaches make diddly. Privates excluded. I easily put in twice as much time out of the gym as I do in it (researching, studying score sheets, etc) and all of that is unpaid. I know you most likely do the same thing with your work and extracurriculars so no need to further explain.
2. Many coaches agree with you that level 5 is not the only team in the gym as most coaches are NOT coaching the level 5 teams. There are many other levels. We feel your pain.

Actually, the tuition we pay the gym owner goes to pay all expenses for the gym, including your salary. So, YES, we are paying the coach. I was an allstar coach and program director for 5 years and put in hundred of hours of work "off the clock" as well, but I ALWAYS treated all my customers/cheer parents with respect and professionalism. You're representing the gym you work for, regardless of whether the check is being written to you directly or the gym owner.

 

[Mamarazzi]

Held my tongue long enough. There needs to be some positivity in this thread.

Dear Coaches,

Thank you for the knowledge you bring to the gym and to the athletes.
Thank you for loving this sport, just like we do.
Thank you for taking the time to hug a child, inspire a child, console a child.
Thank you for pushing a child to be the most they can be.
Thank you for taking this as a second, or third, job, paid or volunteer.
Thank you for allowing Susie's mom to say her peace. She has feelings too.
Thank you for jumping up and down like a fool when Mini 1 hit that thigh stand just right and when Sr 5 got 6th place.
Thank you for being at the gym every time we are.
Thank you for being our cheerleaders' cheerleader.

 

[yojaehs]

Here is my thing on private lessons. I feel that as a parent you probably have options, if private instructor "A" isn't cutting it, then don't pay them, pay someone else. I tell this to my instructors everyday, if your slacking and a parents asks me if there is a problem switching instructors, I say, "It's your money feel free to switch to whoever you prefer" (I also feel the same about gyms, if you don't like gym "A", your money, feel free to switch) Now, with that being said, if you choose gym "A", or instructor "A" then I feel you should support decisions of "A". Ok, I'm done.

 

[cheerfan27]

OK. drewpate nicely made a list for us moms on how to not be so annoying, so I thought I'd make us a list as well.

1. Remember that I'm paying you, not the other way around.

2. Remember that despite how annoying some of us are, we are doing the best we can with limited money, limited time, and limited patience. It's really not all glitter and Uggs for us - it take a LOT of dedication to be a cheer mom.

3. Please stop eating in front of us. We're starving too. We also just came from our day jobs, so we also haven't had 5 minutes to eat.

4. PLEASE STOP MISSING PRIVATES - and if you're going to, let me know BEFORE I drive to the gym. I've had this happen more times than I can count. And it's ALWAYS that they put it in their phone and forgot. I've called one coach from the gym and he was in NEW YORK on vacation. I think you'd like me to notify you if we were going out of town, please do the same.

5. And on the same token, when i am paying for a private, please stop helping other kids in the gym - I know they're Level 5 and are reeeeeally important, but their moms can pay for privates too if they need help. I'm paying for your undivided attention for an hour. Please give it to my child.

6. Lastly, and I think this is my biggest one. There is more than 1 team in your gym. Level 5 isn't the only one you have. When you have time to SIT in the parent area and talk to Suzy 5's mom for an hour ... it kinda makes me doubt your whole "I'm too busy to talk to you" stance. And it kinda makes my daughter feel bad when you treat your level 5's like they are the only ones that matter. And I know every coach on here says "That's not how we are at our gym - we love all our teams equally," but you are. You may not even realize it, but you ARE. Just like we sometimes don't realize how "Suzie's Mom" we're being...you don't realize how "Suzie's coach" you're being. Every time you start a sentence with "Woot! Senior 5 just did...(insert wonderful thing your level 5 team did here)!" think of a mom saying "I'm not that mom but..." Maybe once a week try to say something about another team? ***And NOT as the end of a Senior 5 praise (eg. "Woot! Senior 5, 2nd place!!! Way to rock it!!!!!...oh and Youth 2 got first. wtg"

Sorry I'm offending probably every coach on here, but we've just spent the last 2 days talking about how annoying we are as moms, I thought I'd give a little back.

Wow! I can only shimmy once but would give you 987,654,980 shimmy's. Also, to expand on #5, when giving tumbling lessons don't talk/ text on your phone. Do get on the mat and be involved in the session. Don't be distracted in conversation with others. If you're a gym owner you should stand back and take a look at your tumbling classes and check your coaches.

 

[coachTSC]

Can I just point out the pink elephant, double edged sword here....

"We're paying YOU! All star cheer costs lots of money and time etc so give us what we want! Or we will take our business elsewhere thankyouverymuch"

"don't play "favoritism" and give susies mom everything she wants. And definitely don't spend an hour of your so called "precious" time listening to That Mom rant and rave"

Now I know these are 2 very extreme statements, and are out of context from what most of you are saying. Just wanted to point out that many of us coaches are stuck between a rock and a hard place where the customer is always right. We also truly do have the best of intentions and genuinely want to do what's best for you and for the rest of the gym.

I appreciate this thread as I'm mentally checking off the things we are doing RIGHT. And thank you to all you supercheermoms out there who DO pay my bills and make my world go round. I wouldn't have my Dream Job without you all

 

[Just-a-Mom]

OK. I'll throw some positivity out there.

--Thank you Mini 1 coaches, for making my daughter feel like she is amazing and getting more amazing every day.
--Thank you, amazing coach that is used to doing privates for girls working on doubles, for taking that hour every week to make sure my daughters' back walkovers and BHS's are just as fierce as those doubles - and for making them see that getting those basic skills perfected really is important.
-- Thank you, gym owners, for displaying those honorable mention trophies right next to those Grand Champion trophies, letting the kids know that they are all equal accomplishments, and that you are just as proud of one team's 8th place finish as you are of another team's 1st.
-- Thank you for understanding that sometimes, just sometimes, things really are that bad outside of the gym that my cp really just can't focus on practice tonight. And for helping her know that that's OK. Just the fact that she's there matters.

My girls have been fortunate to have some of the best coaches in the World coach them. So I really didn't mean to come on here and just start bashing coaches left and right. I really genuinely do appreciate the work they do, and the things they have to put up with. I was only pointing out that sometimes it's a 2-way street. We're people too. We're not just "the moms."

 

[pinksparklybow]

Actually, the tuition we pay the gym owner goes to pay all expenses for the gym, including your salary. So, YES, we are paying the coach. I was an allstar coach and program director for 5 years and put in hundred of hours of work "off the clock" as well, but I ALWAYS treated all my customers/cheer parents with respect and professionalism. You're representing the gym you work for, regardless of whether the check is being written to you directly or the gym owner.

I'm guessing my response was written as I felt the first comment "We're paying you, not the other way around" came off to me as a bit intense. I know we are paid by parents. That's why I don't coach at the local junior high. It's just that a lot of parents feel their pay entitles them to dictatorship and that is a slippery slope. I know all on the board do have good intentions of bettering their gym, other gyms, and the sport so I should have softened the tone. To me a parent is much more and will always be more than just a "customer."

 

[cheerfan27]

OK. I'll throw some positivity out there.

--Thank you Mini 1 coaches, for making my daughter feel like she is amazing and getting more amazing every day.
--Thank you, amazing coach that is used to doing privates for girls working on doubles, for taking that hour every week to make sure my daughters' back walkovers and BHS's are just as fierce as those doubles - and for making them see that getting those basic skills perfected really is important.
-- Thank you, gym owners, for displaying those honorable mention trophies right next to those Grand Champion trophies, letting the kids know that they are all equal accomplishments, and that you are just as proud of one team's 8th place finish as you are of another team's 1st.
-- Thank you for understanding that sometimes, just sometimes, things really are that bad outside of the gym that my cp really just can't focus on practice tonight. And for helping her know that that's OK. Just the fact that she's there matters.

My girls have been fortunate to have some of the best coaches in the World coach them. So I really didn't mean to come on here and just start bashing coaches left and right. I really genuinely do appreciate the work they do, and the things they have to put up with. I was only pointing out that sometimes it's a 2-way street. We're people too. We're not just "the moms."

I understood why you started the thread and it's good to see that people everywhere are having some of the same experiences so no need to apologize.

 

[quitthedrama]

I have to say I am really lucky, because almost NONE of this applies at our gym! Cell phones are not allowed on the floor during practices for coaches or athletes; I have no idea if food is because I have never seen it happen; none of our coaches would ever miss a private without calling (I am jealous of the $15/$20 rates btw!!) but it is truly a private-often times there are only that athlete and a couple of other coaches in the gym. Our gym owner coaches our mini team and the gym manager coaches our youth team and both won at Cheersport this past year (yes, they are smart - these are their future level 5s). Every team in the gym is treated equally - in fact the younger teams more often than the older teams have extra practices (at no charge) the night before a big competition and every single coach is at every single teams performance absolutely going crazy for every single athlete. Parents of the teams may do something extra with specific teams, but that doesn't have anything to do with our coaching staff. I feel like I can talk to the gym owner or any of the coaches about any concern I have - we may agree to disagree which is fine, but the communication is always there. Our coaches work their tails off, they are hard on our kids, but they love our kids as much as the parents do. I guess this thread has made me appreciate them even more!

 

[tumbleyoda]

As a parent so yes I do see it from both sides -

Don't complain to me that my child is lazy when by observing you it is clear that you have ignored her and refused to work with her. Just because she is not a jump up in your arms girly girl smile all the time type yet don't mean she can't learn. Maybe she is just frustrated becuase this is something new and hard for her right now.

Don't trash my child or another child to your fellow coaches and I hear about it but when they progress without your help then you are acting like you always believed in them. Straight BS.

Communicate. Don't expect me to just follow along when I have no clue what is going on. Don't find new and creative ways to avoid me. Open your mouth and talk to me just like you have asked me to talk to you if there is a problem.

Every team matter. Every team matter. Every team matters. Every team matters. Every team matters.

Every athlete matters. Every athlete matters. Every athlete matters. Every athlete matters. Every athlete matters.

Treat all your coaches with respect not just the higher level coaches. Parents can tell how you really feel by watching you no matter what you say.

If you are going to make my child an alternate or kick me out of the gym because I owe 600.oo you need to do the same with Suzie who owes over 5000.00. I don't care how long she has been with you, how often you vacation together, if she is your best flyer or you just don't want the rival gym to get her. Fair is fair and right is right. Otherwise no matter how you explain it or spin it you are showing blatant favortism.

Don't ask the parents to do your dirty work of spying on another gym, trying to recruit another kid away from a rival gym, creeping their facebook, starting rumors, etc. That is just plain petty. If you want to do that, do it yourself and take the blame head on if caught instead of trying to keep it from showing to you.

I understand that you are adults and need some time to relax. But could you please not get drunk in front of my children? I don't want to have to explain to them why you were falling down, couldn't control the volume of your voice, cussing for no reason whatsoever and other behaviors typically associated with being drunk. At competition you ask them to be at their best. Can you please do the same? Stay an extra day after the competition and have it if you must.

I know you are in business to make money. I dont care about you making a profit. I don't even care if it is higher than another gym in the same community. What I do care about is not getting $$$$ surprises. Tell me up front and in writing as much as possible what I need to pay. Don't add extra $$$ because your super duper level 5 team did not get a bid where you thought they would and now we gotta go to a different competition not originally on our schedules that you gave out in June and you are passing the cost down to us lower level kids so the 5's don't have to pay as much or not at all.

 

[HannahLou]

Held my tongue long enough. There needs to be some positivity in this thread.

Thank you for being our cheerleaders' cheerleader.

This is so lovely.

 

[simplymom]

Ok I guess this bears repeating....The few ruin it for the many.

Most coaches are wonderful people. Most are dedicated to our kids well being. Most work hard and only want the best for our kids AND the team. Most are more than happy to have a conversation with you about your child. Most are willing to give up their "off the clock" time to help their kids and their team. Most are timely, polite and professional.

Most parents are also wonderful people. Most are respectful of their kid's coaches and gym. Most aren't banging on the glass yelling at their kids or coaches. Most will keep our disappointment to ourselves when our child gets moved to the back, loses their flying spot etc. because we know that it's for the benefit of the team. (See the Not a Cheer Mom, cheer mom club thread!) Most of us are JUST AS ANNOYED with Suzie's Mom as the coaches are...trust me!

I think the professional lines get a little blurry with cheer because of the family atmosphere that some gyms have. (Or want to have.) Is it a family, or a business? I think it's a little of both. I think everyone just needs to be clear where the boundaries are.

 

[Mamarazzi]

OK. I'll throw some positivity out there.
I really genuinely do appreciate the work they do, and the things they have to put up with.

Some coach somewhere just got his wings :cloud9: Or clipboard or whatever.

 

[Just-a-Mom]

I'm guessing my response was written as I felt the first comment "We're paying you, not the other way around" came off to me as a bit intense. I know we are paid by parents. That's why I don't coach at the local junior high. It's just that a lot of parents feel their pay entitles them to dictatorship and that is a slippery slope. I know all on the board do have good intentions of bettering their gym, other gyms, and the sport so I should have softened the tone. To me a parent is much more and will always be more than just a "customer."

It was intense. It was meant to be. I was replying to a thread that I woke up to and was offended by. A thread that started out as saying "Here are the things I love and hate about parents" but then went on to list an entire screen long page of things that are annoying about parents - and the only "love" was "I love parents that don't do this". And how we need to learn that coaches are really busy people and we need to learn to do things "on the coach's time" because the coach is very busy and is trying to "have a life." I was making the point that I thought someone might have it backwards.