Negative Parents

[CandleSticks]

I live with just my dad is he totally against me cheering and thinks it's a waste of time and money. He never helps me with it or comes to see me and I pay for everything myself. We don't really get along but it would be nice if he even pretended to care about something I love doing.

 

[Clara]

Let me bring another perspective to this discussion. I am guessing that some parents react the way they do when they see their child subjected to things that they think might hurt them. Though I agree on the point that why should they even be here, when they are fully aware that the coaches know best? However, I feel that the parent is trying to balance both their and their child's wishes, so that their child could join cheerleading. Anyway, that's my two cents, take it with a pinch of salt.

 

[OldskoolKYcheercoach]

I think the cost of All-Star cheerleading breeds some of this. People are paying thousands of dollars and tend to view themselves as customers now teammates. When you drop $400 for a uniform in the office, then walk upstairs and see something happening that you're not happy with, that's a bitter pill to swallow. Even coaching school cheer, my first year parents are forking over $700 for warm-ups and other cheer-related paraphernalia. Paying that kind of money will cause some people to expect a level of service that you would not otherwise see in other sports. There's a world of difference between the cost of a T-shirt, shorts, and shoes for youth basketball/baseball/softball/soccer, and the cost of all-star cheer uniforms, warm ups, make up, shoes, etc.

 

[emilyhaze]

Honestly if the coach hasn't picked up on a nutty parent then maybe a little hint isn't a bad thing to do (there is an appropriate way and a tacky way to do this). If a cheerleader is being interrupted by a negative parent then sometimes a coach needs to do their best to distance the two. For example I had a teammate and her mom would psych her out/make her so nervous she would want to vomit... we went to warm ups early to keep her away. These people won't ever go away so while ignoring them is usually the best route sometimes a calm opposition also makes them quiet down.

 

[Official OWECheer]

Honestly if the coach hasn't picked up on a nutty parent then maybe a little hint isn't a bad thing to do (there is an appropriate way and a tacky way to do this). If a cheerleader is being interrupted by a negative parent then sometimes a coach needs to do their best to distance the two. For example I had a teammate and her mom would psych her out/make her so nervous she would want to vomit... we went to warm ups early to keep her away. These people won't ever go away so while ignoring them is usually the best route sometimes a calm opposition also makes them quiet down.

That mom sounds awful!

 

[SunnyinCO]

This probably sounds really sappy and syrupy, but my daughter's team parents are really tight. We've made a pact that we don't bad mouth the coaches or the kids. When new people have come on, we've laid out the ground rules in a nice, conversational way. Obviously this doesn't work with all people, so we just try not to let the negativity take root. When we do have questions for the coaches, we ask questions, but we always accept their coaching decision as final (just like we expect our parenting decisions to be taken as final).

 

[mamabear]

This probably sounds really sappy and syrupy, but my daughter's team parents are really tight. We've made a pact that we don't bad mouth the coaches or the kids. When new people have come on, we've laid out the ground rules in a nice, conversational way. Obviously this doesn't work with all people, so we just try not to let the negativity take root. When we do have questions for the coaches, we ask questions, but we always accept their coaching decision as final (just like we expect our parenting decisions to be taken as final).

enjoy years llike that! Last year was what I called my "nirvana year" when it came to the the parents on the team. The kids loved each other and the parents took joy in supporting EACH kid and we had a lot of fun too. Sadly, I am paying for it this year -lol!!

 

[SharkDad]

I live with just my dad is he totally against me cheering and thinks it's a waste of time and money. He never helps me with it or comes to see me and I pay for everything myself. We don't really get along but it would be nice if he even pretended to care about something I love doing.

Sad to hear this. There is plenty of positive that can come from cheer for a young lady and as a dad I don't know how I would miss it.

 

[JPcheerdad]

Sad to hear this. There is plenty of positive that can come from cheer for a young lady and as a dad I don't know how I would miss it.

I agree 100%. I have been a cheer dad for over nine years and I've never missed a practice or competition. I have one child, this is her sport and I love it. I know that she will treasure and remember these times and my support when she is grown up and I can never understand how a lot of dads dismiss this sport and don't support their children.

 

[Cheer Dad]

Sad to hear this. There is plenty of positive that can come from cheer for a young lady and as a dad I don't know how I would miss it.

I agree 100%. I have been a cheer dad for over nine years and I've never missed a practice or competition. I have one child, this is her sport and I love it. I know that she will treasure and remember these times and my support when she is grown up and I can never understand how a lot of dads dismiss this sport and don't support their children.

It can be a very rewarding journey to take with the kids. The life lessons of commitment, hard work, teamwork, time management, etc... are priceless. I remember hearing a girl tell cp how lucky he was that his dad was involved in cheer and supporting him and his she wished her dad would even just go to just one competition. I just couldn't understand not wanting to be involved or at least faking it for your child.


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[CheerBank]

I agree 100%. I have been a cheer dad for over nine years and I've never missed a practice or competition. I have one child, this is her sport and I love it. I know that she will treasure and remember these times and my support when she is grown up and I can never understand how a lot of dads dismiss this sport and don't support their children.

I think it's a beautiful thing that you've been there for all of your cp's comps (I might side eye the practices a little but to each their own ). I do think you need to reread your own words though - this is your only child - and realize that many families with more than one child need to divide and conquer in order to allow all of the kids in the family pursue their own extracurricular activities. My dh may make it to only one local comp a season but that doesn't mean he is any less supportive than the parent who attends every one. That dad (or mom) who you do not see there may present in spirit but not in body.

 

[SL&AM]

I think it's a beautiful thing that you've been there for all of your cp's comps (I might side eye the practices a little but to each their own ). I do think you need to reread your own words though - this is your only child - and realize that many families with more than one child need to divide and conquer in order to allow all of the kids in the family pursue their own extracurricular activities. My dh may make it to only one local comp a season but that doesn't mean he is any less supportive than the parent who attends every one. That dad (or mom) who you do not see there may present in spirit but not in body.

 

[SharkDad]

I think it's a beautiful thing that you've been there for all of your cp's comps (I might side eye the practices a little but to each their own ). I do think you need to reread your own words though - this is your only child - and realize that many families with more than one child need to divide and conquer in order to allow all of the kids in the family pursue their own extracurricular activities. My dh may make it to only one local comp a season but that doesn't mean he is any less supportive than the parent who attends every one. That dad (or mom) who you do not see there may present in spirit but not in body.

The only competitions I missed were when I was deployed. I was the driver for all of those practices and travel companion for many Worlds bids comps and 4 Worlds. Brother is 4 years younger so I was fortunate to be able to fully support him in soccer (cheer dad/ team dad for her cheer and coached for his soccer) in his competitive years. If you want to, you can balance between kids but I feel that dads that focus on the traditional boy sports are missing out on some awesome development of their boys or girls in cheer.

 

[KDCheerMom]

I live with just my dad is he totally against me cheering and thinks it's a waste of time and money. He never helps me with it or comes to see me and I pay for everything myself. We don't really get along but it would be nice if he even pretended to care about something I love doing.

Sad that your dad does not appreciate the hard work and dedication you have shown. However I also want to commend you for your commitment. Good for you for going to the extra effort to stay involved. Now you really know you can overcome life's obstacles and take satisfaction in doing something you love for yourself!!!


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[JPcheerdad]

I think it's a beautiful thing that you've been there for all of your cp's comps (I might side eye the practices a little but to each their own ). I do think you need to reread your own words though - this is your only child - and realize that many families with more than one child need to divide and conquer in order to allow all of the kids in the family pursue their own extracurricular activities. My dh may make it to only one local comp a season but that doesn't mean he is any less supportive than the parent who attends every one. That dad (or mom) who you do not see there may present in spirit but not in body.

Yes. I understand my situation is unique and I was not judging anyone else. My CP is lucky that she is an only child and that I have the kind of job where I can support her the way I want to. I understand perfectly that other people have different circumstances.