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Buy a LOT of wine.

Just kidding... kind of.

Let your kid have fun. If you know the gym is a safe place and that the coaches are fully capable, then let them do their job and stay out of drama.
Best stored in a bra or Starbucks cup.
 
Avoid the following people in the parent viewing area:

The Nosy Nellie who always seems to be talking about someone else's child. She may not even start out doing it to be negative but beware of anyone whose every other word is about a kid who is not hers. Ex: "I noticed that Suzy just got moved up to J3." It sounds like she's just noticing but probably not.

The Negative Nancy who always has something negative to say about the coaches or gym in general. Ex: The first words out of her mouth every time you see her is a complaint or about how "We are soooo not staying here next season."

The Mean Molly whose objective is to draw you into drama she has going with another mom you've never met because you just got there.
 
Avoid the following people in the parent viewing area:

The Nosy Nellie who always seems to be talking about someone else's child. She may not even start out doing it to be negative but beware of anyone whose every other word is about a kid who is not hers. Ex: "I noticed that Suzy just got moved up to J3." It sounds like she's just noticing but probably not.

The Negative Nancy who always has something negative to say about the coaches or gym in general. Ex: The first words out of her mouth every time you see her is a complaint or about how "We are soooo not staying here next season."

The Mean Molly whose objective is to draw you into drama she has going with another mom you've never met because you just got there.
The Sneaky Sue who really just wants to know everything anyone else has told you, and will also tell everyone everything you have ever said.

The Lovely Lacy who always says something nice right before she says" I'm not trying to be ugly...but..."

The Nervous Nicky who is always talking about how their kid needs to get such and such a skill... Right now.

And of course Suzie's Mom....
 
Don't forged Tired Tina.

Tired Tina uses the fact that she/her daughter are tired as an opportunity to Tired Brag about her child.

Ex: "Sorry we couldn't stay last night for open gym. Tara is just so tired between making Senior 5, crossing down to Junior 4, being on two dance teams and having a 4.3 in the IB program at school. We barely have time for anything!"

She's friends with Concerned Carol. Concerned Carol also enjoys critiquing your child and making hers look better via feigned concern for her well-being.

Example: "Hey Susan. I noticed that Suzy hasn't been at the Level 4-5 flyer class with my Carrie but she says she saw her in the Level 2-3 class instead last week. I hope she's not feeling too overwhelmed. I know when my girl was a new flyer, you know, before we made Senior 4, things were hard! Hopefully she's keeping up okay!"
 
Coach Courtney:

You know, the one who maybe knows the coaches well or is close to them, who somehow believes that she is a coach or substitute coach in their absence because you know, she's the Team Mom, or she knows them, and she cheered for 5 years back in 1989.

Ex: The one who tries to suggest formation ideas when no. one. asked. for. them.


Big Money Bertha:

That parent who seems to think that all other parents are made of money. You have no idea how Big Money pays her bills because she seems to spend all her money on cheerleading. The fact that Big Money Bertha spends all of her money on cheer would not affect you, except for when Big Money Bertha is Team Mom/Team Parent/etc.

When it is time to do things like chip in for team gifts, Big Money Bertha suggests that you all contribute $75, because anything less would be uncivilized. When you suggest homemade picture frames for graduating seniors, Big Money says let's go all out and suggests a $150 monogrammed tote for each kid.
 
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Make friends with the parents that have been there the longest. They will have the best advice and should also be the most laid back since they have already experienced this sh!t enough they just don't care what happens unless someone gets hurt.



**Slip n Slide. Official sponsor of Worlds 2016**
 
Make friends with the parents that have been there the longest. They will have the best advice and should also be the most laid back since they have already experienced this sh!t enough they just don't care what happens unless someone gets hurt.



**Slip n Slide. Official sponsor of Worlds 2016**
No offense, but that has not always been true in my experience!
 
I'm loving these results.
Honestly, from what I've seen, I don't think there's one mom in that room that doesn't describe at least one person in all these posts.
 
Big Money Bertha:

That parent who seems to think that all other parents are made of money. You have no idea how Big Money pays her bills because she seems to spend all her money on cheerleading. The fact that Big Money Bertha spends all of her money on cheer would not affect you, except for when Big Money Bertha is Team Mom/Team Parent/etc.

When it is time to do things like chip in for team gifts, Big Money Bertha suggests that you all contribute $75, because anything less would be uncivilized. When you suggest homemade picture frames for graduating seniors, Big Money says let's go all out and suggests a $150 monogrammed tote for each kid.
Not to be confused with Big Money Betty: She's the one who brings the coaches Starbucks every day and also gives the coaches gifts like $1000 cash or a car (yeah, I wish I was exaggerating).
 
And always stay away from Drunk Donna at competitions who uses the time drinking like she's a sailor on leave. She will always expect other parents to keep an eye on her poor kid.


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Oh shoot... Were you @ (*****) in (*****). Have you seen CP?!?

Ok just kidding, but had one comp unexpectedly go this direction. **so embarrassed**
 
I feel like all of these cheer mom archetypes need avatars.

$1000 cash? Seriously? And Drunk Donna reminds me of Miriam from Hey Arnold. "I need a smoothie."
 
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