Please Help.

[cheer1123]

Okay, mainly I made an account because I need help. I am on a senior level 4 team and honestly, I want to quit. I really just don't want to go to practice because I have lost all confidence in my flying and I have no idea what to do. I just can't quit though because we are 4 practices away from a competition, and I just can't do that to my team even though I really don't want to do it. Even though I feel like I'm making myself unhappy just for other people, but I want to be happy and I don;t know what to do, we can't really afford it either. I have had really bad practices for a while and I'm supposed to be one of the best flyers on my team but it's too stressful and I really don't want to do it anymore, it's so bad I feel like crying as I'm typing. Please help. ):

 

[CHS Cheer Coach]

Cheerleading always has it's rough moments where people want to quit for one reason or another. As a coach, I always hate seeing girls that don't want to be there because I love the sport and I want everybody else to love it too. But, I also feel that if someone really doesn't want to be there that they should leave. Yes, it would be hard on the team, but you have to be happy too.
That said, I think you still have the love for cheer from what it sounds like, you are just getting very discouraged. If you hate cheerleading as a whole, I think quitting would be the better idea. But, if you still like cheering, I think you should stick it out. Obviously, you have some skill, so I think you are just having a mind block.
Regarding your confidence... People get mind blocks all the time. You say you don't want to quit because you don't want to hurt the team, which means you have to learn to not make flying about you, but about the whole team. If you fall at competition, it doesn't hurt just you, it hurts the whole team. You just need to realize you have the skill and fight for your stunts. If you feel it is something within your stunt group, talk to them and try to figure out why it isn't working.
As for the financial side... I understand cheerleading can be very expensive, but there are so many fundraisers available for you to do. I don't know where you live, but I have always found tons of great fundraisers that you can get 97%-100% of the profits. One of the most basic would be change drives/can drives (if you have deposit on cans where you live). But I had a girl get over $200 from just a change drive in just a few hours. Go around door-to-door and ask if they have any spare change. Just make sure you wear some sort of cheer gear to show who you are.
I hope this helps, and I know it's super long, but I really want to be able to help people love the sport as much as I do.

 

[12stepCheermom]

Okay, mainly I made an account because I need help. I am on a senior level 4 team and honestly, I want to quit. I really just don't want to go to practice because I have lost all confidence in my flying and I have no idea what to do. I just can't quit though because we are 4 practices away from a competition, and I just can't do that to my team even though I really don't want to do it. Even though I feel like I'm making myself unhappy just for other people, but I want to be happy and I don;t know what to do, we can't really afford it either. I have had really bad practices for a while and I'm supposed to be one of the best flyers on my team but it's too stressful and I really don't want to do it anymore, it's so bad I feel like crying as I'm typing. Please help. ):

We had a flyer on a team one year that clearly hated it, didn't want to be there (great body positions when she hit) but was absolutely "over" cheer in every way possible. It was obvious. She would tell kids on the team she'd quit when she'd miss a practice (which happened with some frequency) but then she was back again.

Long story short, she was miserable and the team was miserable. She came down in many competitions and wouldn't fight to stay in the air. She just didn't have the confidence and didn't want to be there. She actually came down twice at a huge very important competition and just her deductions alone were the numerical difference between first and last place (and this was in late winter) and last place was how they finished.

She finally did quit (for good) in the middle of the next competition when she was told (after she came down again) that she wouldn't be going up for day two. They got in their car and left in the middle of the competition.

Now I can see how you don't want to let down your team 4 practices before, but that's plenty of time for them to fill someone in. This team had her quit during the competition (which I don't recommend) and they made a few adjustments and for the rest of the season (which was only day 2 and one more competition) that team was AMAZING. They were hitsville, USA.

The reason for that wasnt because of flyer skills, it was the teams attitude. They'd been as miserable as she was while she was on the team, when she finally quit for good (even in the middle of a competition) the change in the teams attitude was the difference. They didn't hold their breath during partner stunts and pray they'd all stay up anymore, they just went out with new confidence and killed it, and I think she ws probably MUCH happier not being with the team either because the longer she stayed, and fell, and never one time broke a smile the entire time she was in the gym (she really looked like she was going to cry 24/7) and didn't talk to anyone, the more the team got annoyed, or depressed or just off their game...or said things they shouldn't have either to her or about her. Frustrations were running really high after the last place finish.

So, for as long as this is, the flying and skills aren't the problem. It's the attitude and it's contagious, if you are miserable, they will be too and it will change the dynamics of your team. I watched it all year with this team. Do what makes YOU happy, because if everyone on the team (ESP a senior 4) isn't committed and happy to be there, it will spread like a cancer and only make you more miserable when the comments start coming out....and I'm sure they will, unfortunately....and you don't need that anymore than they do.

It sounds bad, but if you're really that ready to quit, staying on the team will let them down more than leaving it.

 

[cupieqt]

I agree with both 12stepCheermom and CHS Cheer Coach
If you hate it overall and just can't stand the thought of doing it, then you're doing everyone a favor if you quit. Be honest and tell the team this when you decide to quit too. Something like "I know you may all hate me for quitting but I just don't have the heart to fight for it at all and I am not helping you by being here--I'm hurting you. I truly feel like you'll be more successful without me and it's only fair that I give you the opportunity to be better."
If you love it though, and are just really discouraged, ask your coach if your team can have a team heart to heart (we call it a pout and praise session--each girl says 1 thing they are frustrated with and 1 thing they are happy with). Sometimes just talking it all out together helps a lot. It may not magically fix your stunting issues but it brings the team together to work on the those things.

Good luck!! I am coaching a new level 4 team this year so I know how tough it is!!

 

[Mom2Cheergirls]

Have you talked with your coach. You know a good coach is not someone that just makes sure her/his team can hit a routine and teach you skills - he/she is someone you can go to and talk. I suggest asking to talk with them before or after practice. It may help you come to some decision - whichever it be. Also have you talked with your parents. Yes cheer is expensive and I know more times than I should I remind my CPs that this is a costly sport so they need to do their part, but as expensive as it is -- if we could not afford then they would not be doing it. A good heart to heart with your folks and your coach could be worthwhile they know you and your situation better than us out here on the board --- best to you however you decide.