OT This Is Shocking, Parents Beware!

[SL&AM]

My heart broke when that father shook his 12 y/o daughter and said "we've already lost your mother, what would I do if I lost you?"

The scary is that these are responsible parents who have taught their kids the dangers of social media and the internet, but the kids STILL don't listen.

I am really not proud to say that, but a member of my extended family is a sex offender. He is getting out of prison/therapy/whatever you name it in January. He is older than me. Makes me wonder sometimes if he did something to me or my sister and we were just too young to remember... He did what he is guilty of on his girlfriend's children and he watched child pornography for freaking 15 years!!! I won't tell you what was on that, I want to puke everytime I think about it. It was such a shock.

No need to say he doesn't have a girlfriend anymore. I don't believe that some kind of therapy can change ANYTHING for a pedophile. So I really wonder what will happen when he gets out. Will he be the kind of guy that tries what you saw on the video? Will he hide who he is so he can meet single mothers?

As a coach and a teacher (sub, but still), I am terrified. If I could, I would yell to whoever listens that he lives there and he did that. But with Canadian laws, I'd probably end up with a lawsuit. Yet if something happens again, I'll feel somehow responsible, even though I will not (and clearly don't want to) see him again.

Anyway, I don't know if it is bad for me to talk about it, but I need to. Our family feels so much shame...

His crimes are not your crimes or your families crimes. If I were held accountable for a few of my family members...ick!

That being said, is there a way to anonymously put the info out there? Or does Canada have any sort of database set up to check for this stuff?

 

[UCFKnights07]

My very first bf obviously now ex is a sex offender.... He couldnt stay off MySpace and kept hooking up with 16 year old girls till eventually one of these girls dads found out and reported him.
I'm not gonna lie when I found out much later through him of all people, I laughed and told him he was a complete idiot.

 

[Official OWECheer]

My very first bf obviously now ex is a sex offender.... He couldnt stay off MySpace and kept hooking up with 16 year old girls till eventually one of these girls dads found out and reported him.
I'm not gonna lie when I found out much later through him of all people, I laughed and told him he was a complete idiot.

Wow. Thank goodness you gotten rid of him.

 

[WinstonsGirl]

Don't Canadian laws reuired an official warning to be sent out if a sex offender moves into an area?

Not sure if it's law, but our local detachment announces every time a dangerous sex offender is released and where they're planning to reside (near us). Not sure if that's all offenders, or just the dangerous/likely to reoffend

 

[KPep]

Depends on the province and also the police department, I think. Some will notify the public if a high risk offender is getting released or is planning on moving to a certain city.

In Quebec we hear about it on the news, but I think the last time I heard about a sex offender moving somewhere it was Karla Homolka... and it was like 10 years ago. We heard because she wanted to move to Quebec. And she was not only a sex offender but a murderer too.

A newspaper here releases some kind of a "sex offender map" once a year. I know there are a few near my home (?!), so near 3 schools. It's freaky because we just can't know where and who they are.

There is a facebook page a québécoise mom has put up, and she posts every single article she can find about pedos. Helps a little, but what our population wants is a public register. Our problem is: The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedom. Yes, even though you destroyed the life of many, you are still protected by that. A law could be voted to create that register, but could be declared unconstitutional at Supreme Court because of that.

 

[KPep]

His crimes are not your crimes or your families crimes. If I were held accountable for a few of my family members...ick!

That being said, is there a way to anonymously put the info out there? Or does Canada have any sort of database set up to check for this stuff?

Well, there is what we call a docket (is it the right translation though) that you can consult in law courts only.

ETA: You can consult online but you have to pay apparently.

The last time police around here released information about a sex offender moving, people found out where the guy moved to, and vandalised his house. That is one of the reasons why the government seems to be hesitant to make the registry publicly available. Although the corrections services in Ontario was ordered to hand over a list of sex offenders by postal code by the Supreme Court, so it could happen sometime in the future. There was another woman whose release was made public because she's a 'high risk' to reoffend (and quite frankly, sounds like a character you'd see on Criminal Minds or Law & Order), but I don't think people have figured out where she lives.

Well, my cousin's house was vandalized this week. He isn't even out yet. My godmother is the one living there right now, and she was scared to death. She's paying for a crime that she didn't do (even though she doesn't believe he is guilty of anything... despite all the proof the police found and that she saw in court... another story though). She's his mother, she only wants to take care of the house for the time he is in prison...

I understand that people are mad, as I am myself, and I know that many wants his head... I heard that his ex (the mother of the children he "touched") has a "plan" for him as soon as he gets out. All that together makes me believe that he will move as soon as possible. But the families around his new home won't know who he is...

It is such a sad and complicated situation. I have to agree with what your corrections services do in your province for the security of families, but self-justice won't change anything...

 

[catlady]

This is great information about a pedophiles grooming process:
Grooming: How Child Molesters Create Willing Victims | NAASCA.org - National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse

 

[Official OWECheer]

This is great information about a pedophiles grooming process:
Grooming: How Child Molesters Create Willing Victims | NAASCA.org - National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse

Really important read! This is why I hate when parents force their kids to be affectionate with someone. "Go hug Grandpa!" Kids have very black and white thinking, and they might take that command with them into a situation in which they are being sexually abused. Basically "I have to let so-and-so do xyz to me because they're bigger and older and more powerful and I'm just a kid". I think parents should teach their children to know their personal boundaries, and let them know that it's okay to tell people that they aren't comfortable with certain things, no matter how much bigger/older/more powerful those people might be. Sometimes, that might mean letting them refuse that hug from Grandpa.

 

[KPep]

This is great information about a pedophiles grooming process:
Grooming: How Child Molesters Create Willing Victims | NAASCA.org - National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse

I can totally see my cousin do that and it makes me sick.

 

[SL&AM]

Really important read! This is why I hate when parents force their kids to be affectionate with someone. "Go hug Grandpa!" Kids have very black and white thinking, and they might take that command with them into a situation in which they are being sexually abused. Basically "I have to let so-and-so do xyz to me because they're bigger and older and more powerful and I'm just a kid". I think parents should teach their children to know their personal boundaries, and let them know that it's okay to tell people that they aren't comfortable with certain things, no matter how much bigger/older/more powerful those people might be. Sometimes, that might mean letting them refuse that hug from Grandpa.

I have an uncle who is rather nasty---I would say he's one of those guys who the older he gets, the meaner he has become. My CP is a social butterfly---almost to the point of scary, because she doesn't feel danger ever. She wants to be everybody's friend and she wants everybody to like her. DP, complete and total opposite---common response out of her when her friends talk to her is, "Who gave them permission to be my friend?!" She's a lovely child I swear. Anyhow, last year was the first time DP really met my family because we lived so far away and the only time we visited she was still young enough to be ignored. Not this time---after repeatedly telling him to stay out of her face, she snapped at him. Same thing happened at Thanksgiving only this time she really snapped at him and now he won't even acknowledge her existence (no skin off my back). My aunt asked me why I can't just make her be nice and give him a hug...I quoted a lot of what that article said. Of course she got offended and I didn't care, but I will never force my kids to be affectionate to anybody!

 

[Official OWECheer]

I have an uncle who is rather nasty---I would say he's one of those guys who the older he gets, the meaner he has become. My CP is a social butterfly---almost to the point of scary, because she doesn't feel danger ever. She wants to be everybody's friend and she wants everybody to like her. DP, complete and total opposite---common response out of her when her friends talk to her is, "Who gave them permission to be my friend?!" She's a lovely child I swear. Anyhow, last year was the first time DP really met my family because we lived so far away and the only time we visited she was still young enough to be ignored. Not this time---after repeatedly telling him to stay out of her face, she snapped at him. Same thing happened at Thanksgiving only this time she really snapped at him and now he won't even acknowledge her existence (no skin off my back). My aunt asked me why I can't just make her be nice and give him a hug...I quoted a lot of what that article said. Of course she got offended and I didn't care, but I will never force my kids to be affectionate to anybody!

YES!

 

[catlady]

This was posted today by a friend and it's another informative but, scary read...
Ohio author, former Michigan resident, shares her life as a teenage sex slave | Arooj Ashraf's Professional Portfolio

 

[Official OWECheer]

This was posted today by a friend and it's another informative but, scary read...
Ohio author, former Michigan resident, shares her life as a teenage sex slave | Arooj Ashraf's Professional Portfolio

That's terrifying. I thought she would be kidnapped, but this was all able to happen while she was living at home! It's horrifying that her parents didn't believe her.

 

[EWalsh1029]

There was just a case of this here in MA involving a cheer gym in w. Bridgewater granted the victim & offender knew each other, but still very sad for the gym & victim.

 

[Official OWECheer]

There was just a case of this here in MA involving a cheer gym in w. Bridgewater granted the victim & offender knew each other, but still very sad for the gym & victim.

Awful! It's the worst with people that have no criminal record, because you almost never see it coming.