All-Star Bullying

[newcheerdad]

As I tell my kids - not everyone will like you. Some people won't want to play with you, or hang out with you, or be your friend. And that's ok, because I'm sure there are people you feel the same way about. Part of life is navigating through interpersonal relationships with people that you may or may not always get along with.

I think message boards like these are much the same - you will encounter people that you don't necessarily agree with or even like very much, and it's your choice whether you want to engage with that person or not. There's an old saying about "not feeding the trolls", and it applies here as well - there are some people that post on message boards just to get a rise out of others.

Now does some trolling morph into a form of cyberbullying? Sure. And at that point, I think appropriate steps need to be taken. One thing that I think we can do (especially the adults in the room) is make sure we raise the level of discourse on the board. I think it's ok to challenge someone or have disagreements with them, as long as said disagreements remain civil. It's up to us to help identify when things are going off the rails and steer threads back to productive discourse.

 

[cheerisloving]

The term bullying is very overused in these days when it actually is a problem. Im in an antibullying group at school and we classify bullying as something that you say to hurt someone, directly or indirectly. Cyberbullying is PURPOSELY hurting a foul of people, for being a certian race, promote something you are are against. That is why I don't like when peope say its wrong to say things like "Susie has a dormitory scorpion and Sally should be point." Doesn't say Susie isn't good, just means it isn't pretty, and that's an opinion that's not bullying. People feel that if it isn't rainbows and lollipops its bullying, sometimes its being oversensitive.

 

[MNCheerMom]

That is why I don't like when peope say its wrong to say things like "Susie has a dormitory scorpion and Sally should be point." Doesn't say Susie isn't good, just means it isn't pretty, and that's an opinion that's not bullying. People feel that if it isn't rainbows and lollipops its bullying, sometimes its being oversensitive.

I agree with you. But, correct me if I am wrong, you can't talk about Sally and Susie if they're minors???

 

[cheerisloving]

I agree with you. But, correct me if I am wrong, you can't talk about Sally and Susie if they're minors???

I understand why the board has that rule but in reality, minors talk about minors, adults do too. To me it isn't wrong if its not inappropriate.

 

[canttouchthis]

I agree with you. But, correct me if I am wrong, you can't talk about Sally and Susie if they're minors???

on here you can talk about minors but redistricted.
you could say oh susie is so pretty and i love her flying. no biggie
if you said susie is ugly and i think she shouldn't be point. the first part is a no no the second part is okay

there really isnt a fine line. i like this thread and we should come up with a fine line

 

[King]

on here you can talk about minors but redistricted.
you could say oh susie is so pretty and i love her flying. no biggie
if you said susie is ugly and i think she shouldn't be point. the first part is a no no the second part is okay

there really isnt a fine line. i like this thread and we should come up with a fine line

I don't think a fine line can exist. I am not against one, but the not talking badly about minors rule is one of the ways to prevent cyber bullying. I want encourage as much positive talk AND thought out discourse as is reasonably possible without being a personal attack on a minor on something outside the said skills. If that minor (or their parents) so chooses to put themselves in a position of the public eye for display then they are encouraging discussion, positive or negative, about that person. So if you can find a way to define that... I will be impressed.

 

[dawgshow]

Being mean and bullying are not the same thing. I've attended many anti-bullying seminars and this point was raised in each and every one of them. Bullying comes into play when the meanness is 1) repeated often, 2) done in large groups , or 3) there is a discrepancy in the balance of power. The first two are pretty self-explanatory and are probably the most common forms of cyber-bullying. The balance of power comes more into play in face to face encounters and usually entails the bully saying "do x or else y will happen."

That's not to say that I think it's ok to be mean. It's not. I'm just afraid that if everyone keeps crying bully, then we will become immune to it and not take real bullying seriously.

 

[newcheerdad]

I don't think a fine line can exist. I am not against one, but the not talking badly about minors rule is one of the ways to prevent cyber bullying. I want encourage as much positive talk AND thought out discourse as is reasonably possible without being a personal attack on a minor on something outside the said skills. If that minor (or their parents) so chooses to put themselves in a position of the public eye for display then they are encouraging discussion, positive or negative, about that person. So if you can find a way to define that... I will be impressed.

That's what I mean about "raising the discourse". Unless the minor is clearly a public figure (and no, I'm not sure just being on Senior Elite or WCSS makes you a public figure) I think kids should be off-limits. There's generally no need to discuss them on a public forum and said discussion rarely leads to anything good.

 

[kristenthegreat]

That's what I mean about "raising the discourse". Unless the minor is clearly a public figure (and no, I'm not sure just being on Senior Elite or WCSS makes you a public figure) I think kids should be off-limits. There's generally no need to discuss them on a public forum and said discussion rarely leads to anything good.

That's part of the problem, I think- with things like twitter and other such social media, kids are willingly and freely putting themselves out there to the public, essentially becoming a public figure (wittingly or otherwise) for themselves/their team/their gym. And unlike popular actors/singers/athletes/celebrities etc, these kids DON'T have a PR team who can spin things for them. Instead, they have to deal with the negative consequences of their actions- which usually results in people discussing those tweets/posts on here.

Perhaps while some coach is meeting with the parents at the beginning of the season, another coach meets with the athletes to have a 'Cyberbullying and Social Media Behavior' meeting. Come up with a concrete policy that helps set the bar for what can/can't be done. Might help curb some behavior..

 

[12stepCheermom]

Being mean and bullying are not the same thing. I've attended many anti-bullying seminars and this point was raised in each and every one of them. Bullying comes into play when the meanness is 1) repeated often, 2) done in large groups , or 3) there is a discrepancy in the balance of power. The first two are pretty self-explanatory and are probably the most common forms of cyber-bullying. The balance of power comes more into play in face to face encounters and usually entails the bully saying "do x or else y will happen."

That's not to say that I think it's ok to be mean. It's not. I'm just afraid that if everyone keeps crying bully, then we will become immune to it and not take real bullying seriously.

THIS.

 

[ACEDAD]

Being mean and bullying are not the same thing. I've attended many anti-bullying seminars and this point was raised in each and every one of them. Bullying comes into play when the meanness is 1) repeated often, 2) done in large groups , or 3) there is a discrepancy in the balance of power. The first two are pretty self-explanatory and are probably the most common forms of cyber-bullying. The balance of power comes more into play in face to face encounters and usually entails the bully saying "do x or else y will happen."

That's not to say that I think it's ok to be mean. It's not. I'm just afraid that if everyone keeps crying bully, then we will become immune to it and not take real bullying seriously.

This is getting towards the point that I've had in my mind, though I haven't worked it all out. Agreed that it's not okay to be mean. But mean happens and every example of mean isn't bullying.

 

[ShutItDown]

saw a pic with two girls who were tagged and the caption was, vote which one you think is prettier.
Disgusting. The sad thing is I think I'm coaching the girl that made it this year

 

[MomMomMamaMom]

As a parent of children in a cyber age, I've spent a considerable amount of time thinking about this question, and I still don't have any hard set answers. However, I think of bullying in components.

For example, I don't think there has to be more than one person in on it, for it to be bullying, but if this occurs it can make things that would otherwise just be mean be bullying.

Similarly, belittling someone isn't necessary bullying, but there is line that gets crossed that seems to have something to do with the intent. When the intent goes beyond just being crass or inconsiderate and into I don't care if I hurt you, it starts to graduate to bullying. This is a hard line to pinpoint though. I'm pretty sure that "who cares what you think" is NOT bullying, and probably not even "what a stupid thing to think" is, but "you're a "such and such" to think such a thing" starts to head there, and "Only "such and suches" think that" is pretty unacceptable. But let's face it, it's pretty difficult to figure out someones intent in the cyber world.

Name calling follows kind of the same graduated pattern for me, but this is always a hard one to call, because we all have different rhetorical references that we are comfortable with.

That being said, I definitely think that threatening people, especially publicly should be socially unacceptable behavior.But even this can be hazy. I'm not willing to go so far as to say that pointing out consequences is threatening. But implying harm, either emotionally, physically or even rhetorically, is a way of trying to garner or use power that is explicit in bullying.

I do also believe that bullying can be implicit, but I think that this is usually when it's part of a prolonged pattern of behavior.

 

[cheercurl]

I see the hazy grey area in this...not liking what someone said or getting your feelings hurt is not bullying. Threatening consequences.... that is bullying. BUT, A person who lives in fear of another probably feels they are being bullied, even if to an outsider who is privy to all the conversations may not see why that is the case. Is being timid and fearful an intrinsic personality trait or what was said, truly was intimidating.

So in other words is it bullying if the victim feels he or she is being bullied. Or are there just some people who are much more sensitive to feeling intimidated by another.

Geeze I hope this made sense? :help:

 

[newcheerdad]

That's part of the problem, I think- with things like twitter and other such social media, kids are willingly and freely putting themselves out there to the public, essentially becoming a public figure (wittingly or otherwise) for themselves/their team/their gym. And unlike popular actors/singers/athletes/celebrities etc, these kids DON'T have a PR team who can spin things for them. Instead, they have to deal with the negative consequences of their actions- which usually results in people discussing those tweets/posts on here.

Perhaps while some coach is meeting with the parents at the beginning of the season, another coach meets with the athletes to have a 'Cyberbullying and Social Media Behavior' meeting. Come up with a concrete policy that helps set the bar for what can/can't be done. Might help curb some behavior..

That's one of the big differences between this generation of kids and my generation (which isn't THAT long ago) - the internet. Twitter and facebook can make kids famous in ways that they don't intend. But the question still remains - should a 16-year-old's twitter feed be fair game on a message board, even if it is public?