All-Star Questioning A Coach's Decisions?

[nicolee]

As a parent, athlete or employee, you are fully entitled to question things you feel aren't right. But keep it respectful.
In my time I have seen many a parent question the coaches, both in professional, polite ways and in rude, offensive ways.

"I was just wondering why my child wasn't given a level 5 placement when she has jumps to tuck and a full. Would you mind letting me know your reasoning, and if there's something she can improve upon?

"My child was put on a level 4 team despite having level 5 skills. I've heard that there were many kids put in the higher teams who don't have the skills that she has."

It's pretty clear that one of these options is preferable to the other...

 

[_MRB]

Last year I questioned my coach a lot as a lot of thing were not legal. She didn't like it so I kept my mouth shut then the team got annoyed with me for not saying something when we got legalities.

This was literally me.

 

[TealArmySparkle]

I've questioned my coach on several occasions as it seemed that I knew the rules better than them in these incidences. I informed them when the age grid change came into place as I was placed on a Junior team aged 15 as my coach thought the restriction was still 14 (cheer age is a year below my real age due to when my birthday is). I also informed them of scoresheet changes when Jam Brands brought in the universal score sheet in the UK, when the half top ban for anyone under senior age came into fruition (the youth team still had half tops at this point) and of illegal stunts placed within routines. Yes I'm not a coach's favourite because of this, but I'd rather make it known that there was a problem and getting them to fix it rather than stand by and have my team disqualified or injured because the coach failed to check the rules and keep up with annual changes.

 

[Helen uk uni cheer]

This was literally me.

Its the main reason I do not cheer anymore. I was sick of putting myself in danger due to the routine being too hard for the flyers who kept falling or her trying to push me to do walkover when I couldn't even handstand or bridge properly.
When it gets to the point you are unhappy and cry after each practice as an adult its time to call it a day.
But if it wasnt for me moving away I would still be cheering on a team I loved with coaches who knew what they were doing

 

[Stopdroptumble19]

What about when you coach at a gym and question the tumbling director? How do you bring that up? The tumbling director at the gym I work at advances girls too fast and has them working on skills I don't feel like they are ready for. But he is 'higher on the totem pole' than I am so my opinion doesn't get heard.

 

[SarahS]

What about when you coach at a gym and question the tumbling director? How do you bring that up? The tumbling director at the gym I work at advances girls too fast and has them working on skills I don't feel like they are ready for. But he is 'higher on the totem pole' than I am so my opinion doesn't get heard.

This one is easy. Talk to the tumbling director in private. Ask him. Something like: I'm not as experienced as you are in teaching tumbling and would love your input as to how you choose when to advance kids in their skills. When do you know they're ready?

Then listen to his response. He may provide an interesting, unexpected answer (for instance, LOTS of great tumble coaches will alter their usual progression schedule, if you will, based on individual tumbler age/needs/wants, but the way they come to making these decisions may not be clear unless you ask.) You can also share your ideas, something like: So I feel more comfortable working on X skill only once the kid has Y skill. Do you have similar requirements? Do you ever make exceptions, and if so, why?

All, and I do mean ALL, of the great coaches I've been fortunate enough to work with, have been willing to share their thought processes with me, if I asked them at the right time or scheduled a time to talk. I've learned SO MUCH just by questioning. Questioning a "superior" is not a bad thing, if you approach with the correct attitude.

 

[Stopdroptumble19]

This one is easy. Talk to the tumbling director in private. Ask him. Something like: I'm not as experienced as you are in teaching tumbling and would love your input as to how you choose when to advance kids in their skills. When do you know they're ready?

Then listen to his response. He may provide an interesting, unexpected answer (for instance, LOTS of great tumble coaches will alter their usual progression schedule, if you will, based on individual tumbler age/needs/wants, but the way they come to making these decisions may not be clear unless you ask.) You can also share your ideas, something like: So I feel more comfortable working on X skill only once the kid has Y skill. Do you have similar requirements? Do you ever make exceptions, and if so, why?

All, and I do mean ALL, of the great coaches I've been fortunate enough to work with, have been willing to share their thought processes with me, if I asked them at the right time or scheduled a time to talk. I've learned SO MUCH just by questioning. Questioning a "superior" is not a bad thing, if you approach with the correct attitude.

Thank you SO much! I will do that!

 

[SarahS]

Thank you SO much! I will do that!

I hope it goes well!

 

[OldskoolKYcheercoach]

Short answer: Yes.

I'm assuming we're talking about something like rationales for a placement and not something that is life/safety-threatening?

I'm not saying I will actually CHANGE something based on a parent's questioning, but I do not mind you asking WHY I chose to do something a certain way.

However, I will not respond to anything that is just you trying to get your way and be rude about it.

GOING TO GET AN ANSWER:

"Hey, I was wondering if you could talk to me about why my kid wasn't chosen for Varsity since she had a working tuck. I was trying to figure out why she scored so low."

"I saw that the girls are doing home camp this year. The JV team went away last year. Why can't they go away for camp?"

NOT GOING TO GET AN ANSWER:

"I'M SORRY BUT YOU NEED TO TELL ME WHY MY KID DID NOT MAKE VARSITY. I HEARD THERE WERE OTHER GIRLS WHO HAD TUCKS NOT AS GOOD AS HERS. IT MAKES NO SENSE AND I WOLUD LIKE SOME ANSWERS BEFORE I GO TO THE SCHOOL BOARD."

"I just talked to two other former JV parents and they're very upset that the girls will not be going away to camp this year. We feel like away camp is a must do activity for Varsity cheerleaders and we want to talk about away camp options with you and the AD."

The latter person is not asking me anything. She is just threatening me and telling me what to do. The person emailing about camp is not really being threatening, but is not really asking me anything. She is just telling me that she doesn't like something and trying to get me to change it (and going over my head by talking to my AD.) I do not go to someone's place of employment and tell them what decisions to make. So I do not answer that.

100% of the time:

The more people a person CLAIMS agrees with their opinion is inversely proportional to the number of people that ACTUALLY agree.

Mom says "I've been talking to so-and-so, and we just have a couple of questions." = probably true

Mom says "I just want you to know that I've got 15 parents lined up to go to the school board." = donkey manure

One mom last year threatened me with a dad. "All of the parents are really concerned about _______. Even one of the dads said he was going to call you. I told them to just let me handle it so I could spare you from having to hear from all of them." Is anyone else's BS alarm going off yet?

 

[Official OWECheer]

What about when you coach at a gym and question the tumbling director? How do you bring that up? The tumbling director at the gym I work at advances girls too fast and has them working on skills I don't feel like they are ready for. But he is 'higher on the totem pole' than I am so my opinion doesn't get heard.

@tumbleyoda I'm convinced I tag you way too much.

 

[oncecoolcoachnowmom]

100% of the time:

The more people a person CLAIMS agrees with their opinion is inversely proportional to the number of people that ACTUALLY agree.

Mom says "I've been talking to so-and-so, and we just have a couple of questions." = probably true

Mom says "I just want you to know that I've got 15 parents lined up to go to the school board." = donkey manure

One mom last year threatened me with a dad. "All of the parents are really concerned about _______. Even one of the dads said he was going to call you. I told them to just let me handle it so I could spare you from having to hear from all of them." Is anyone else's BS alarm going off yet?

YES!

From coaching, I've learned that:

"ALL the parents" = like 2 people.

"EVERYBODY" = like 4.

 

[tumbleyoda]

@tumbleyoda I'm convinced I tag you way too much.

I agree with what @SarahS said. Anyone that takes that position seriously is willing to listen for feedback knowing that the right piece of info from anywhere could potentially transform their entire program.

 

[SparkleSpankies]

YES!

From coaching, I've learned that:

"ALL the parents" = like 2 people.

"EVERYBODY" = like 4.

OMG YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

 

[FamUsM0m]

I would say yes but with a certain decorum. Always in private and always make an appointment. My reason for saying make an appointment is because we pay tuition for our coaches to spend time with our kids. I don't know about you guys, but it can be somewhat frustrating when a coach is late, doesn't show up, or even MORE frustrating when 1 parent is taking up the coaches time with their personal issues. Set aside time when the coach is not with the team to talk about issues. I once witnessed a parent yell at a coach in front of an entire lobby of parents and kids. It was awful. She never returned to the gym after that. I have also questioned a coach about a decision they made, but I have done my best to keep it private. I believe I have only once questioned a coach outside of the gym (during break) and it wasn't pretty. I regret that. I was upset and it wasn't something that should have been done in private and not on his time. Not only does it affect me and my cp, it affects his ability to coach after that. I've learned from that. The only people who get hurt are the kids.

Make an appointment and do it in private. Period.