- Dec 14, 2009
- 1,960
- 5,349
I posted this on my FB page this morning. I am sharing it here in the hope that if it helps one person then it is worth it.
Yesterday I was heartbroken to hear that one of my former athletes and cheerleaders at our gym took her own life to escape the pain she was being subjected to by others thru bullying. Such a good sweet spirited child with a smile that would light up any room. Memories of her flipping her super long pony tail back after tumbling, numerous times we laughed together in private lessons, tumbling classes and open gym working on skills. Even though she had started cheering school, she still was and is a very big part of the fabric of our gym.
Today as I see the numerous posts, pictures and tributes to her from her classmates, friends, teammates, and the numerous posts for those that are bullied to please call the suicide hotline, my feelings have transformed. Today I am mad. I am mad that a beautiful soul has been taken from us way too soon. I am mad that a father and mother have to do one of the most unimaginable things possible for a parent. Today I am mad that a brother no longer has his sister to pick on him, to help him, to love him.
I am mad at anyone who thinks that bullying anyone else is ok. It is obvious that they do because things like this keep happening every day across the country. I am mad at those that believe that people are just too thin skinned and need to toughen up and learn to deal with it.Today I am mad at those who could of stepped in and stopped it but didn't. Today I am mad at the "these are good kids" and "we didn't see this coming" defense that is often employed when things like this happen. Today I am mad at teachers and administrators that don't take pleas for help seriously until it is too late, and then say if you need to talk to someone we are here. I am mad at those that use the addiction of social media to attack others using fake profiles, harsh words, then proclaim innocence. I am mad at trolls who pile on the bandwagons of bullying and hate. I am mad that don't and wont check their child's phones regularly to ensure they are not participating even unintentionally in bullying.
I am mad that a beautiful soul has been lost because people thought it was cool, funny and ok to bully her.
Most of all, I am mad that anytime this happens (whether here or anywhere in the country), we are quick to post the number to the suicide hotline but somehow the bully gets a pass. It is like we are blaming those bullied for not reaching out, instead of punishing the bullies that create the situation in the first place. What many fail to grasp is that when you are in that type of place where you believe that death is better than life, you do not believe anyone will hear you. That no one truly cares. The only thing that would make it better and stop the pain is for the bullying to stop. Stopping the bullying BEFORE it gets to that point is what we really need to do.
This bothers me because we have fast become a nation of people that gloat in our right to freely express whatever we want, YET we refuse to accept any responsibility for the consequences of those words. No matter what the subject matter is we want to say it unchecked and not be held liable for it. We want to be crass, brutally honest, speak our mind, let em have it, be transparent but in the next breath blame others if they can't handle it. When did it ever become ok to hurt others? When did it ever become ok to verbally assault them? When did it become ok to derive pleasure and laughter off the pain you inflict on others?
Never.
I have mourned and will continue to do so. I have prayed and will continue to do so. The family will need our prayers and support for a very long time. But now I am also mad. This must stop. We must do better. Our children need us to do better for them. Let's all work together to end bullying once and for all.
Yesterday I was heartbroken to hear that one of my former athletes and cheerleaders at our gym took her own life to escape the pain she was being subjected to by others thru bullying. Such a good sweet spirited child with a smile that would light up any room. Memories of her flipping her super long pony tail back after tumbling, numerous times we laughed together in private lessons, tumbling classes and open gym working on skills. Even though she had started cheering school, she still was and is a very big part of the fabric of our gym.
Today as I see the numerous posts, pictures and tributes to her from her classmates, friends, teammates, and the numerous posts for those that are bullied to please call the suicide hotline, my feelings have transformed. Today I am mad. I am mad that a beautiful soul has been taken from us way too soon. I am mad that a father and mother have to do one of the most unimaginable things possible for a parent. Today I am mad that a brother no longer has his sister to pick on him, to help him, to love him.
I am mad at anyone who thinks that bullying anyone else is ok. It is obvious that they do because things like this keep happening every day across the country. I am mad at those that believe that people are just too thin skinned and need to toughen up and learn to deal with it.Today I am mad at those who could of stepped in and stopped it but didn't. Today I am mad at the "these are good kids" and "we didn't see this coming" defense that is often employed when things like this happen. Today I am mad at teachers and administrators that don't take pleas for help seriously until it is too late, and then say if you need to talk to someone we are here. I am mad at those that use the addiction of social media to attack others using fake profiles, harsh words, then proclaim innocence. I am mad at trolls who pile on the bandwagons of bullying and hate. I am mad that don't and wont check their child's phones regularly to ensure they are not participating even unintentionally in bullying.
I am mad that a beautiful soul has been lost because people thought it was cool, funny and ok to bully her.
Most of all, I am mad that anytime this happens (whether here or anywhere in the country), we are quick to post the number to the suicide hotline but somehow the bully gets a pass. It is like we are blaming those bullied for not reaching out, instead of punishing the bullies that create the situation in the first place. What many fail to grasp is that when you are in that type of place where you believe that death is better than life, you do not believe anyone will hear you. That no one truly cares. The only thing that would make it better and stop the pain is for the bullying to stop. Stopping the bullying BEFORE it gets to that point is what we really need to do.
This bothers me because we have fast become a nation of people that gloat in our right to freely express whatever we want, YET we refuse to accept any responsibility for the consequences of those words. No matter what the subject matter is we want to say it unchecked and not be held liable for it. We want to be crass, brutally honest, speak our mind, let em have it, be transparent but in the next breath blame others if they can't handle it. When did it ever become ok to hurt others? When did it ever become ok to verbally assault them? When did it become ok to derive pleasure and laughter off the pain you inflict on others?
Never.
I have mourned and will continue to do so. I have prayed and will continue to do so. The family will need our prayers and support for a very long time. But now I am also mad. This must stop. We must do better. Our children need us to do better for them. Let's all work together to end bullying once and for all.