All-Star Advice/discussion On Avoiding Mama Drama

[Mom2Cheergirls]

My kids and I have one gesture and it means I love you and I'm proud of you. End of Story - they get it when they do awesome and they get it when it looks like they need a hug and are giving me the why is this so hard look . They all know the gesture and it is quick and sweet and our special sign for cheer, dance, school anytime .

 

[5-6-7-8]

My kids and I have one gesture and it means I love you and I'm proud of you. End of Story - they get it when they do awesome and they get it when it looks like they need a hug and are giving me the why is this so hard look . They all know the gesture and it is quick and sweet and our special sign for cheer, dance, school anytime .

That is so cute! I may have to copy this idea!!

 

[Nothanks]

My kids and I have one gesture and it means I love you and I'm proud of you. End of Story - they get it when they do awesome and they get it when it looks like they need a hug and are giving me the why is this so hard look . They all know the gesture and it is quick and sweet and our special sign for cheer, dance, school anytime .

That is the best idea I've heard in a long time.

 

[Fierceforever <3]

Good luck! Hope it dont turn into some dance moms show.

 

[L5cheermom]

Not sure this is the most agreeable way to address these things, but I find that being direct is the best policy. My kids are older now and I spend little time at the gym anymore, but when I did I would answer those people who tried to drag me into their drama with something like "Girl, you're not going to drag me into all of that! I've got enough drama of my own to be taking on any if yours ". I'd say it sort of funny, but seldom did anyone miss the message. Avoiding eye contact is always good, too. Once you make eye contact that is an open invitation. Although we do spend more time with these people than we do our closest friends (especially during competition season) they are not my friends and except that our children share a common interest I really have little in common with most of them. Rest assured that as your children get older you will need to spend less and less time there and you will become more and more immune to their attempts to draw you in.

 

[Mom2Cheergirls]

Hi all - well things have been better since I shut off from being a sounding board. I feel better. I am sure it is still going on but I think the message that I don't want to be a part of it has been heard - without me having to say it directly. Or I made them mad by not really ignoring them by being too busy to give them my attention. I can deal with that if the gym feels better and I certainly don't want to encourage the attention back at me. I appreciate all the comments I feel like I can still be a nice person and not condone the drama and have a few tricks on days when I just don't even want to engage.

 

[cheermominar]

We had a big blow up "Mama Drama" at our last parent meeting (I knew it was coming, I was even told by some of the mothers). The gym did have one coach leave and new one enter (still have two coaches) so things are changing. We are going to Dallas this year, last year my daughters team came in 1st at all their comps (once they did make 2nd). A lot of girls didn't come back (for what ever reason) and their weren't many new girls that signed up either. Many parents don't want to go to NCA, and don't see why, if we aren't going to win, or the cost (it's a 6hr drive, and actually closer then when we went to US Finals last year). Not being able to take the time off from work/school etc to be able to take their daughters (not wanting to send them with someone else). Not liking being told where we have to stay. Some stated this was it and for sure weren't going to-do another year next year. Some of the drama momma's had to step out to take a breather so they could come back and drama it all up. Some even stated it would be cheaper to back out right before Dallas and pay off the rest of the tuition then go to Dallas. I can see both sides to going and not going but what got me upset was that I couldn't even get my general questions in (amintes the hotels have, how big is NCA etc. - this is only our 2nd year of cheering). Even after the meeting was so called over, I tried to stay so I could ask and still couldn't. The coach even, due to the drama mamma's asked, who wanted to go and who didn't. The drama momma's lost. Some parents where even ticked to what team that their daughters made or didn't make verses where other girls placed. I really wanted to look for the cameras and see if their was a reality show being filmed

 

[FierceandFearless]

Hi all - well things have been better since I shut off from being a sounding board. I feel better. I am sure it is still going on but I think the message that I don't want to be a part of it has been heard - without me having to say it directly. Or I made them mad by not really ignoring them by being too busy to give them my attention. I can deal with that if the gym feels better and I certainly don't want to encourage the attention back at me. I appreciate all the comments I feel like I can still be a nice person and not condone the drama and have a few tricks on days when I just don't even want to engage.

Yay!! Sooo glad for this

 

[CheerBank]

We had a big blow up "Mama Drama" at our last parent meeting (I knew it was coming, I was even told by some of the mothers).
[Edited for length]
I really wanted to look for the cameras and see if there was a reality show being filmed

Loved that last line! But it does sound like not wanting to go to NCA was really not the issue, but all of the other things they were dissatisfied with so that by bringing up not wanting to go to Dallas, the floodgates were opened for everything else. I always have a concern when the coaches turn to the parents to make a decision about attending or not attending a comp, because then I wonder what else the coaches and owners are going to let the parents decide on next. Also curious, was it many kids from your cp's team who not come back to the gym or was it from other teams? I would be a little concerned if your cp's team lost a lot of kids after having what seemed like a very successful season and that might raise red flags for me about the gym in general.

 

[cheermominar]

The meeting wasn't even about if we wanted to attend NCA, it was what hotel to block the rooms at (we already knew we where going). The drama mommas made such a big issue with not wanting to attend NCA (for the various reason I posted) that the coach just went ahead and asked (the drama moms where slamming him hard). I raised my hand stating I wanted to attend-at the end $140 for a hotel room isn't bad in Down Town Dallas considering how many others will be looking for rooms, we don't have to pay for plane tickets to get us their, since we live 6hrs away, has much has we won last year I'll give it a shot. Yes, I think more then 1/2 of the girls from CP (she is 8) team left (for a great majority it was their 1st year including us, CP almost didn't want to do it again), I don't think bottom line it had anything to-do with the gym itself (in fact, I feel that with CP team all the drama moms stayed not one drama momma left -lol-). I know one of my daughters classmates told me she just didn't like it (her 1st year), for another it was $. Some girls had been doing it for years and just wanted a break (or their parents did). I know of one that left (older then my daughter) due to the fact she she wanted to-do a higher level team then what our gym could offer (small town don't have the pop. to draw from like a bigger city), they would have stayed otherwise. I truly don't know all the reasons for everyone. The gym is in a small rural part of the world, it's located in the poorest part of our state which ranks up their in being one of the poorest states in the US. Trying to find people that want to shell out over $2,000 a year isn't easy, just the $300+ for the uniform is tough. Plus some folks are just to ignorant to let a coach of a different color coach their daughters. Local gossip keeps some folks away (I am sure drama mommas can make things sound bad), life in a small town isn't always easy. One mother complained about the fundraisers, I held my mouth but wanted to tell her she can organize something if she didn't like what was is offered. I don't want to burn bridges for my daughter. I knew when my daughter wanted to-do cheer it was going to be expensive and take up a lot of time and maybe we would have to give up some vacations and even the carpet I want replaced with tile Just because she wanted to fly doesn't mean she would be able to, maybe she would catch on to the tumbling or maybe not. I do admit it is funny to watch some of the drama, parents not liking their daughter is in the back, why are they on the lower level team when so and so is no better and they made the higher level, why is the coach talking to only their child and not anyone else etc.... Everything my children has participated in has had drama.