All-Star Cp Claims She Can No Longer Do Her Tuck, What To-do. Help

[KDCheerMom]

Is ice cream a bribe or a fun treat on the way home from practice? Do they not get ice cream if they didn't get a new skill that night?

New clothes, phones, trips and money are the bribes I get frustrated with.

Ice cream to me seems more like a small celebration of an accomplishment - rather than a bribe.
I can understand small incentives for very young children to help shape/reinforce behavior but I agree with the earlier post - it should be about feeling good about the hardwork one puts in and the ultimate accomplishment itself.
One time during a volleyball tournament - one of my daughter's teammates was promised an iPhone from Mom if they beat x team. Of course, they did not win and then the girl pouted the whole rest of the day.

 

[cupieqt]

Ice cream to me seems more like a small celebration of an accomplishment - rather than a bribe.
I can understand small incentives for very young children to help shape/reinforce behavior but I agree with the earlier post - it should be about feeling good about the hardwork one puts in and the ultimate accomplishment itself.
One time during a volleyball tournament - one of my daughter's teammates was promised an iPhone from Mom if they beat x team. Of course, they did not win and then the girl pouted the whole rest of the day.

That's how I see an ice cream. It's a celebratory treat more than a bribe. We give stamps and stickers, etc for accomplishments so I get the use of incentives too.

I'm with ya--the iPhone bribe is a common one I think. I try to discourage the parents in my gym to use those tactics.

 

[KDCheerMom]

cheermominar also good luck. I know its tough as a parent to stand by when our kids hit these walls - so along with all of the other advice - take a deep breath - everything usually works out over time.

 

[cheermominar]

Thanks, she isn't the 1st girl on this squad to lose their skill this season. The coach this years seems to be diffrent (all of us parents notice it) on how he has approcehed things. One of the older girls even got mouthy back one night, partice has been so hard some of the girls have had to vomit (cp stated she wanted to). I am willing to let her relax but you can't when you have to follow pratice schudle, that Monday before NCA he has her squad praticing from 9-10pm, I've already metnioned that she'll be in her P.J.'s and falling to sleep. I don't fight with her about it but with it being cheer season she really can't stop either. Actully cp's coach is suppose to be one of the best ones in the area, girls come from out of town to have privites with him. But then a privite is diffrent then working with a team (we did lose a coach this year). Really the entire atomosphere this year hasn't been postive and I think it broke her I just hate for her to look back at her last year in misery. But she can't leave the team and I guess we'll just have to deal with until the end of the season. Thanks everyone

 

[BuegeSmalls]

I honestly I feel that bribery isn't very effective. I had a terrible block on round off back hand tucks and if my mom would have been like "Hey Hannah, I'll buy you an iPhone if you do it by yourself" I obviously would have tried really hard to do it because I wanted an iPhone but I probably still wouldn't have been able to do it because I was so afraid of it. And then I would not only be sad because I still couldn't throw the skill by myself anymore but because I didn't get the iPhone either.

This is a totally made but scenario by the way. I did have a terrible mental block but my mom never bribed me. And I got over it w/o any incentives and my "reward" for getting over it was seeing my coach cry because she was so happy I finally did it. It was a sweet reward.

 

[cheermominar]

Their to me is a diffrence between bribes, incentives, deals,rewards or treats. To me a bribe has something to do with getting someone to-do something dishonest. I give $ for good grades, it's more of a incentive I know some parents that wouldn't do this. But both my children are to young for jobs and I it has helped teach my son to save $ for things he want that I won't buy him. But then I know some that pay if their children do chores around the house, which I don't they live their. Has for cheer, at the end if I think she is truley trying then I am happy. But if she want's to go the extra mile and do something that is not mandantory then a treat for ice cream of some other snack happens. The thing is from time to time she has done her tuck since this mental block started.

 

[LCK]

www.fortheloveoftumbling.com

Read - Breaking Free - and then share that with your athlete and their tumbling coach. My child had worked through 2 blocks using Debbie's techniques and she comes back better and stronger each time and along the way, while working these steps, her grades in school always get better too.

It's hard to sit by and watch them struggle and not know why and to keep driving them to privates and paying for them just waiting for them to get that skill/skills back - but patience and support (I feel) is the key, as hard as that may be. I hope her Coaches are patient too. I know timing stinks, the last 2 seasons my daughter had started blocking right as comp season was starting and lost most of her standing and running passes in her routines. This season (knock on wood) she is doing amazing and has made tons of progress and her tumbling is beautiful. She almost has all over her L4 skills now too!

Having the kids learn how to work through this on their own is a valuable lesson on it's own. I know my daughters confidence level rose when she stayed committed to the steps Debbie Love outlines!

I wish you all the best, I understand how frustrating it is for her, coaches, you and team mates. I hope the Breaking Free system will work for you guys!!!

 

[FamUsM0m]

I have gone through this with my cp for YEARS. First year, she lost her bhs, second year it was her running tuck. The next year it was her bhs and tuck. This season it's her full and jumps to back. If there is one thing that I have learned over the last 4 years it's that you cannot rush confidence. I learned after last year, she will get it when she's ready. Children go through growth spurts and emotional changes (puberty) and it sends a shock to their system. Nothing has to "happen" for them to lose or as I like to say, "misplace" a skill. Sometime, it just happens. And that's exactly how it will come back. I learned that no matter how many privates you put her in, tumble classes or videos you show her, it will not help her body connect to her mind. A friend of mine sent me a quote that helped her daughter get through her tumble break (I don't like using the other "b" word)

"When your body is saying you can do it, but your mind is telling you no? Tell your mind to shut the h*** up!"

Yes it's a little vulgar, but maybe you can clean it up for an 8 year old . Good luck!

 

[emax13]

Well....she IS only 8. Kids have their ups and downs in this sport for whatever reason. It happens to the best of them. I would NOT talk about it, not pressure her, not offer her incentives, nothing. Just let her continue to cheer and see if she and her coaches can work it out. An 8 year old does not need pressure relating to cheer. I know, as a parent, it is hard to watch, but pushing too hard (or at all even) is most likely NOT going to solve anything. Maybe mention it to her coaches and let them work it out together over time. Fact is, she might not throw it this weekend, or at NCA even. Not the end of the world. Keep it in perspective. And keep in mind she is EIGHT. Good luck.

I agree that because she is 8 there should be a degree of tact and understanding about her situation as well as a degree of sympathy and empathy. Daily life can be grueling for kids at that age, i realize this. But there should also be a degree of realism in explaining about what she needs to be able to do and willing to attempt in order to be part of certain performances. I do not believe 8 is too young for kids to have reasonable goals and expectations and not simply be allowed to believe they can do no wrong. If kids don't learn discipline early it doesn't just flip on like a switch later in life.