OT Does Anyone Else

[FierceandFearless]

does anyone elses mom or dad have a boyfriend or girlfriend who they constantly fight with??i dont mean physically i mean verbally.
forgive me--i'm not trying to invade in anyones personal lives, but if you do, could you please comment with how you deal with it??
my moms boyfriend and his two kids (his two kids only on the weekends) live with us, but my mom and her bf fight constantly about stupid crap.. how do you deal with it?? they know how it makes me feel, but they can only do it behind closed doors so much and it honestly effects the energy in the household....
i am to the point that i almost cannot stand or respect my moms boyfriend because of it all..
thanks so much!

 

[Seeker30]

does anyone elses mom or dad have a boyfriend or girlfriend who they constantly fight with??i dont mean physically i mean verbally.
forgive me--i'm not trying to invade in anyones personal lives, but if you do, could you please comment with how you deal with it??
my moms boyfriend and his two kids (his two kids only on the weekends) live with us, but my mom and her bf fight constantly about stupid crap.. how do you deal with it?? they know how it makes me feel, but they can only do it behind closed doors so much and it honestly effects the energy in the household....
i am to the point that i almost cannot stand or respect my moms boyfriend because of it all..
thanks so much!

i would confront your mom by her self!

 

[moniicaaxox]

you should talk to your mom about it. Before me and my ex brokeup we fought everyday almost the stupidest stuff, i know how it affected me and its bad, we still fight to this day everyday almost.

 

[ufomom]

This is not a solution, but a coping mechanism. "If you don't expect anything, you won't be disappointed." How to apply...instead of cringing when they start, just smile to yourself and say..."there they go again." I don't know if this makes sense, but instead of being disappointed when a certain member of mine goes off the deep end, I just go to myself..."there goes the crazy again. Haha." It will not work everytime, but it can help. It helps me not internalize it, but more like I am watching a movie instead of being part of it.

I do agree with talking to your mom. And I know you can't bail out of the house and take a walk everytime they fight, but try to remove yourself as much as you can. You can only be responsible for yourself...as painful as being around these fights are.

 

[FierceandFearless]

This is not a solution, but a coping mechanism. "If you don't expect anything, you won't be disappointed." How to apply...instead of cringing when they start, just smile to yourself and say..."there they go again." I don't know if this makes sense, but instead of being disappointed when a certain member of mine goes off the deep end, I just go to myself..."there goes the crazy again. Haha." It will not work everytime, but it can help. It helps me not internalize it, but more like I am watching a movie instead of being part of it.

I do agree with talking to your mom. And I know you can't bail out of the house and take a walk everytime they fight, but try to remove yourself as much as you can. You can only be responsible for yourself...as painful as being around these fights are.

I found yours the most helpful. Thank you for the coping mechanism.
THANK YOU EVERYONE!

 

[FierceandFearless]

Thank you so much everyone! Your comments helped.
Everyone please continue to post, the more i have the better<3

 

[INeverStopCheering]

Before my dad passed away he was in a bad relationship. They both had some personal issues, and they fought constantly. I didn't live with my dad, but it got to the point where I would dread going over to his house if she was going to be there. It got so bad on the way home one day I started crying and told my dad how much I hated her. He said that I was more important than her and from then on she was never at the house when I was there. That's not to say he stopped seeing her, because I know he still was but at least it wasn't effecting me. You need to be honest with your mom and tell her that her and her boyfriend's fighting is having a direct impact on you, that's it makes you feel uncomfortable and unhappy and that the house is becoming a place you don't wish to be in

 

[lakerfantlc]

I am sorry you suffer with this....but the only thing I can say..is "God grant me the seranity to change the things I can, accept the things I cannot change and give me the wisdom to know the difference"....you are kind of helpless....I think the best thing for you to do is remember how this makes you feel and empower yourself to NEVER repeat it....live in your home treating other with kind words and love....it may rub off and in the end...you are responsible for you and you need to be a good person in spite of others...good luck!

 

[FierceandFearless]

Thank you to the both of you.
@INeverStopCheering , i'm so sorry you had to go thru that, but i am glad your dad made some changes for you.
please keep the advice coming everyone. it's helping!

 

[cheergirl4444]

first of all i am so sorry that you are going through this. i know it is hard! this situation happened to my best friend, she was in 8th grade at the time and i was in 7th. whenever i would go to her house there would always be yelling, there was not one time that i was there where her mom wasn't fighting with her boyfriend. it got so bad that she actually came to live with me for 2 months because she could not stand it anymore. when she finally went back to her house she sat down with her mom and explained to her how the fighting was affecting her life. her mom had no idea how hard it was on her and the next day her boyfriend moved out of the house.
you really need to sit down with your mom and tell her everything, hopefully she will understand and something gets done about it! good luck

 

[The_cheer_obsessed]

I'd hold family meetings

 

[WisconsinIsFierce]

I was put in a similar situation for the past few years and watched my mom constantly be upset and hurt by a man, never really understanding why they were still together. After getting myself in the middle of things, I realized that only made things worse. I recommend keeping yourself distanced from them if it's really bad and sitting your mom down one-on-one and let her know this is hurting and concerning you. Don't yell, talk. The most important thing I learned from this is that you can't change the situation since it's out of your hands, only your reaction. If things aren't meant to be, your mom has to be the one to realize this and break things off. Best of luck and I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope everything turns out to be okay, it always will! <3