All-Star For All The Moms Of Multiple Cheerleaders...

[cheercurl]

I try really hard never to compare my daughters which in general has always been very easy because they are so different. My oldest daughter is small, determined and was always a great tumbler. It definitely helped that she was a gymnast first. My younger daughter is tall and petulant and always has been. I purposely pushed her in a different direction because I wanted her to have her own "thing". I never put her into a single tumbling class because I knew tumbling would be difficult.

Well guess what? At 10 years old she decided that cheer was her new dream and who was I to tell her no???? Best laid plans ...yada yada yada. Secretly, I was thrilled to be a cheer mom! Only I was right... it was difficult.

So at almost 10 years old she started a tumbling class....holy cow it was not pretty. She was already 5" 1' and now three years later and 6 inches taller she has improved so much. But it is clear she will never reach the level of cheer her older sister achieved...which really is just fine with me. I just wish she had the attitude her older sister embraced. Giving 100% and being the best level 2/3 cheerleader is totally honorable and something to be very proud of. Tumbling is hard at 5 ft 7in., I get that... but you still have to give 100%, in fact since it is maybe more difficult you need to give 110%. I don't like feeling disappointment in her effort. I never taught that "100%" attitude to my older daughter it was just an intrinsic personality trait....one that does not appear to exist in my younger CP.

So something tells me younger CP will not have longevity in this sport if she can't turn this around and that makes me sad. How do you motivate your kids? I am not a big fan of "I will buy you a pony if you get...._____" or whatever. Can you teach a kid to have passion for a goal or a sport? Or is it just an all or nothing kind of thing as in: you either have it or you don't?

 

[CheerBank]

From my experience it just has to come from within. While you can get them inspired to achieve a goal, you cannot teach a kid to have passion for a sport.
Both my girls cheered (only younger one does now) and they were passionate about it from the moment they discovered it. I think my big one was 7 when she started all star and my younger one 5 1/2. No other sport mattered after that point and neither had any interest in pursuing anything new once they entered cheer world.
My son is 9 1/2, a great natural athlete, but is not particularly passionate about any team sport he plays, and he plays soccer, football and lax. We see kids his age who cannot wait to get to practice and to a game, and mine enjoys himself but has not expressed any interest in taking any of his sports to the next level. He is not driven to play as hard as some of the other kids do, and winning or losing a tough game does not make or break his day. He does however love snowboarding and this is the first activity I have found him to be ridiculously enthusiastic about aside from playing Minecraft.
Is your younger cp happy in cheer progressing at her own pace? If so, then I would not worry about it. If she is frustrated that the skills do not come as easy as they did to her older sister but she does not seem to be giving it her all, then that is another story. My youngest knows what is most important to us is seeing that he is trying his hardest every practice and game while still enjoying it.

 

[cupieqt]

@cheercurl great post! I'm not able to fully reply right now but this is quite interesting to me. Ill be back in a bit.


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[Just-a-Mom]

I definitely don't think it's something you can teach, or even coax out of a kid. My younger cp just never really had it in her for cheer. She liked it just fine and probably would have stayed in it forever if I hadn't offered to let her do something else. But I never got her to stretch or work on tumbling or anything extra without forcing her. Cheer was just something she did, like school. Older cp wanted to cheer on 3 allstar teams and her varsity team. All day, every day cheer. Huge difference.

Now with dance she loooooooves it, so I don't really have to make her practice. Most of the time she just turns on her little Irish jig music and practices away. And she stretches while she watches tv and dances through every store we ever go to. But she still isn't what I would call "driven" - meaning she's not "all about" dance. She doesn't watch it on YouTube. When we're at her competitions, when her turn is over she's done and ready to go. She never wants to stay and watch the older, higher level kids. She talks about going to the World championships, but it's very abstract to her. Sort of a "Yeah, one day..." type thing. Meanwhile, just like with cheer, I know every little thing there is to know about scoring and competitions (and sparkly dresses )

It makes me so frustrated because I of course want her to have that drive and that desire. I want her to be "obsessed" like I was with ballet and like I see other kids are with their activities. But I can't make her have that, so I just let her coast along at her level of interest. So I think it's just something they either have or they don't. I'm trying to let that go and just CTFD, but that's a lot easier said than done.

 

[cupieqt]

Since I only have one cp and myself to compare that is where I gained my experience with this.
I was (and still am) a cheer crazy girl. My cp, not so much. She likes it but she's not driven to be better. If it doesn't come easily she doesn't care to work extra hard. And it doesn't matter how much I encourage her to stretch at home or work on her jumps, she's only going to do it if she's in the mood (which is pretty much never).
She has gone through spurts of fierceness and through spurts of extreme laziness. It's a toss up if she'll be in this sport for long. I pray she is but realize she may not.


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[Deleted member 25054]

She needs to want it. And I mean REALLY want it and only she can determine the amount of determination and drive she has. I've cheered with girls who have been cheering 10+ years with no tumbling whatsoever, and they're perfectly okay with that. However, I wasn't, and It took me 2 years to get a RO hand layout from a cartwheel at age 16 which is pretty old to start tumbling. Its really all mind over matter. If she wants it like you want it for her, she'll do anything to get it. Try talking to her and see where she is with cheerleading. Maybe tumbling will never come to her but that's no reason to not cheer anymore. It doesn't "click" with everybody, and that's perfectly fine, as long as she really is happy cheering. I know my parents support always helped keep me motivated!


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[Nikaa]

I tought you are teenager kid not a mom, lol

 

[tdittmar]

I'm so glad to hear that other cp's are not over the top enthusiastic about cheer. I have been struggling with this with my cp for a long time. Other girls in her gym are there whenever they can get a ride and constantly working on something. They willingly stalk the cheerlebrities at Jamfest and just seem so much more into cheer than my cp does. I was thinking something was wrong with her. She doesn't complain about practices usually and does what's asked of her all the time. She loves competitions but like the above posters, doesn't really care to stay around and watch other teams. Its good to know that not everyone in cheer in die hard. She enjoys her school friends and school cheer and I think she's realizes its ok not to be obsessed with all star cheer.

 

[Just-a-Mom]

Oh! We're not in the parent room!

 

[cheercurl]

I tought you are teenager kid not a mom, lol

No I just act childish at times...its my fatal flaw.

 

[cheercurl]

I'm so glad to hear that other cp's are not over the top enthusiastic about cheer. I have been struggling with this with my cp for a long time. Other girls in her gym are there whenever they can get a ride and constantly working on something. They willingly stalk the cheerlebrities at Jamfest and just seem so much more into cheer than my cp does. I was thinking something was wrong with her. She doesn't complain about practices usually and does what's asked of her all the time. She loves competitions but like the above posters, doesn't really care to stay around and watch other teams. Its good to know that not everyone in cheer in die hard. She enjoys her school friends and school cheer and I think she's realizes its ok not to be obsessed with all star cheer.

Well I am so glad to hear that there are other CP's who are less cheer crazy than their moms.

 

[njallday]

now i know i am not a cheer mom... or any kind of mom at all, actually . but i can give you a little sister's POV.

we were opposites of your situation, though. I was the one who worked her tush off every second of the day, but i still never really progressed beyond a certain point. my older sister never even tried and was just always good. always better than me. but she didn't really care. i would have killed for her natural skills. it was disheartening at times, to say the least, but we're all different and i've accepted that.

you can't force her to love it or be passionate. don't push, and she'll find her way... whether that be sticking with cheer and being happy with being in the middle or trying out other options to find her niche. (unfortunately, with the cost of cheer, it's hard to rationalize spending that much on just an activity to pass the time, though)

 

[cheercurl]

Oh! We're not in the parent room!

Umm...there is a parent room?

 

[Just-a-Mom]

Umm...there is a parent room?

Well whatever it's called. Parent board...parent area... I have to be more aware of what I say out here - the kids can see!

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[cheercurl]

@kingston Can you move this to the Parent area? If it is a big deal just leave it. Sadly I have never even looked at the parent board, at least I don't think I have? Probably some good stuff in there...