Discussion in 'Allstar Cheerleading' started by Sterling von Shimmer, Jun 17, 2019.
Or is that just the ignore button?
I think that's all there is but you can also report posts if someone is harassing you?
That’s the beauty of it. This person doesn’t outright “harass.” It’s just constant, relentless scolding and derision. Nothing that I can point to and say, “This is wrong.” But it’s gotten to a point where every time I see this person’s flags, I think, “What condescending lecture am I in for now?” Because it’s always a lecture. Every. Single. Time. And not a helpful one... only ones that imply that everything I’ve ever said/thought/felt about cheerleading is inherently flawed. I guess to a degree that is a form of harassment since the responses I get from this person are never ever positive; just unhelpful, unnecessary, and scornful. Low-key bullying, perhaps. But nothing I’d report as “harassment” without feeling a little silly. But I’m still over it. I didn’t come here for an internet stranger to repeatedly act like my opinions about cheerleading are so wrong and shameful that seppuku is my only sensible option. So to the ignore button it is!
If you click on their profile there should be a block button. It won't stop them from seeing your posts, but it'll stop you from seeing what they wrote.
I wanted to pipe in and say that I admire you and your passion. While I may not always agree with you, I respect how much you care and your heart. When you are discussing things online, you can't see facial expressions or body language. A person could be very dry but not have any malicious intent or malice towards you. Things can easily be misinterpreted. And honestly, if they disagree with you, it's ok. The world needs a variety of opinions. As long as they are not being rude or disrespectful or harassing you or threatening you, I would suggest that you either ignore them or not take them too personally. Again, please know I respect you and your passion. You clearly care and love what you do. The athletes on your team are blessed to have you in their lives as a coach and role model.
Thank you that’s so kind!
And I know disagreements happen. That’s not what I bristle at. That’s part of why I come here: to broaden my perspective and learn something. I’d never dismiss someone because they had a different opinion than me. That’s exactly why I’ve never ignored anyone before: because even though I might disagree with someone today, there’s a very good chance they’ll offer something insightful later on down the line that I’ll want to read.
Unfortunately, that’s not the case with this user. Everything is condescending and unhelpful. Even if their tone was brash but they offered something useful, that’d be one thing. But they don’t. It’s just always a general chastisement. There’s literally no value to the responses and thus, no point in my even reading them. It’s gotten to a point where I feel like I could say, “The sky is blue!” And they’d say, “Well that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard and you should be embarrassed for even thinking it.” It’s just time to stop expecting that I’ll read anything different when their name pops up on my flags. Despite disagreements with users in the past, I’ve never felt it’s been all negative all the time with anyone... except this one. So it’s just time to stop.
Thanks again for kind words. I know we don’t agree on everything, but that’s fine. That’s why we’re here. I’d never hold it against anyone for having their own mind.
You know, I don't really see any overly negative responses to your recent posts. Everyone interprets words differently though. Example: you made a whole thread about SE winning Worlds and I did not agree but don't feel like any of the responses were rude? Or saying you were dumb?
It’s not just my recent posts. It’s every post since 2017. And I know that’s a laughably short time to have been on here compared to some users, but you start to notice a trend after that long. And as I mentioned, it’s not anything obvious. Just a constantly brittle, patronizing tone that I’ve come to associate with this person no matter how bland or inoffensive the topic. And honestly, I can guess why: sometimes my posts have been mouthy, irreverent, and completely miscalculated. I get that. For that reason, I can see why they might be compelled to talk down to me. But for the most part, users who’ve disagreed with me before are happy to move on in next week’s post, and I’m grateful for that. But that’s not the case with this person so I feel it’s time to just stop. I’m not trying to get them reported or banned — that’s not necessary — but I’m done dealing with them.
I am bringing this up because I do this A LOT myself. I deal with anxiety and depression as a result of trauma. Sometimes, I read way more into a situation and people's words than are truly meant. I can convince myself that someone hates me and is talking down to me when it isn't really the case at all. I am not telling you that you are doing that since I don't know you at all. But I am trying to gently suggest that perhaps your perceptions are a bit skewed. I would agree with you that ignoring them and moving forward would be the best thing for you.
Your comments and questions are absolutely fine, this is discussion board for the love of Cheerio's. I would encourage you to take a different approach and find the humor and entertainment in their lectures and critiques. Evidently some bored soul has deemed themselves your personal development coach, seriously, that's kind of funny.
A friend once told me that you have not become successful until you have people who despise you. So wear your crown, keep your head up, and ignore your hater. Now if you start acting a fool here, we'll let you know.
I think it's pretty clear who you're talking about, especially for those who cruise the high school threads. I've definitely seen the way you two interact, but if it makes you feel better I believe that user interacts with everybody that way, not just you. They do have an extensive cheerleading history and a lot of knowledge to offer; while they can be extremely condescending at times to a lot of different users, you may just feel personally more attacked because you're simply more active, and thus have more of a chance to interact with them. While it may seem annoying, I do see from their perspective - they've been doing this for years and seem to be very successful. So while it may seem like an attack, I think that they are genuinely trying to get across important information, even if their interpreted tone is negative. At the end of the day I don't think they're attacking you, I think they just have a high opinion of themselves and their skillset due to their extensive background. Don't take it too personally, and if they're really bothering you that much I would try reaching out to them in a private message instead of making an entire thread about it.
Yeah, I really should’ve reached out quietly instead of banging on about this here. This is not cheer-related.
I feel pretty confident I know who were discussing here and I want to say I have had the exact same problem @Sterling von Shimmer is having and it’s a big part of me not perusing the high school section anymore. Any response was always “You’re everything that’s wrong with the industry and you know nothing but I know everything and I’m the coach people should aspire to be.” And it made it basically impossible to have real conversations about cheerleading.
I don’t care what their background is the way they talk to users completely shuts down discourse and makes any meaningful conversations impossible.
It got so bad once I reached out to someone who knows him on here via DM to ask what I could have done to earn his derision because he was being so aggressive.
I absolutely know you will Which is good. Sometimes when I’m bored at work I’ll just post stuff without really thinking twice about the wording or content. And it’s only when I see like sixteen “XYZ quoted you” and NO shimmies that I’m like, Oh crap that was dumb.
Separate names with a comma.